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"You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Nobody: 9:20pm On Sep 21, 2017
Professor suo oyibo anam anu, suo num english maka e guro akwukwo
DarkRebel69:


Why, you must be among those 50 emotionally unintelligent Nigerians that I made mention of in my post. This has hardly anything to do with acceptance of one's own body as you preach and more to do with proper conversational etiquettes.

Yinka Ayefele has long come to terms with his paraplegic condition, and from the little I have seen of him in his music videos I should think he feels fairly comfortable in his skin despite his fate as a cripple. Does it make any sense then if you happen upon Yinka Ayefele at some random event and the first thing you do is to cast a remark on the condition of his legs because you expect him to have accepted his body? You would agree that would indeed be a gauche and uncivilized thing to do.

It is also rather narrow-minded and unprogressively chauvinistic of you to trivialize and whittle this down to a mere gender idiosyncrasy. The issue of self-image and self-perception has an all-emcompassing ontological reach and cuts across both genders.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Nobody: 9:21pm On Sep 21, 2017
ibkayee:

Lol exactly
as if you understand the big grammar, reminds me of someone on that thread
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by DarkRebel69: 9:27pm On Sep 21, 2017
Piiko:
Professor suo oyibo anam anu, suo num english maka e guro akwukwo

Your dog looks like an Instagram Slayqueen.
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by ibkayee(f): 9:32pm On Sep 21, 2017
Piiko:
as if you understand the big grammar, reminds me of someone on that thread
Lol he relayed his message clearly enough, don't see what was big grammar about it, he's just an articulate writer
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Nobody: 9:36pm On Sep 21, 2017
DarkRebel69:


Your dog looks like an Instagram Slayqueen.
more like a rat on meth

1 Like

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by sisisioge: 9:37pm On Sep 21, 2017
Well, I think it depends on who you are addressing. If you see me and say to me that I've added weight, you would be making my day cos I've been trying to add weight forever. It's just not happening to me.

If you see my sis and you say to her that she's added weight, then you would be marring her day cos she's been trying to lose weight forever.

So, if you aren't sure where the person you are addressing stands on the weight radar, I suggest you remain quiet about it.

Life is really complicated... What faces person A might be backing person B.

2 Likes

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by DarkRebel69: 9:46pm On Sep 21, 2017
Acidosis:

If intelligence to you means accepting the society's and Instagram queen's slender standard of attractiveness, then I don't want to be "intelligent".

BTW Mr Intelligence, Yinka Ayefele's condition is called a deformity. If adding weight to you is a deformity, then I'm sorry, I can't help you.

Asking you to show some discretion during a conversation is not asking you to accept society's "standard of attractiveness". Your adeptness at misconstruing me beggars my comprehension.

It is common sense to know that making allusions–however innocuous your intentions might be–to a person's body mass or physical appearance is hardly the wisest nor the safest conversational path to tread, seeing as you might be unaware of the circumstances and emotional triggers tied to the change in the body weight of the individual. Suppose you made a remark about a person's weight and suppose it reminded him or her of a recent death in the family–probably he or she has grown lean or obese from grief. There are a million and one things to compliment a person about, so why insist on pointing out the obvious by telling a person just how fat or just how thin he or she is?

I am inclined to call you a psychopath but even psychopaths are pastmasters at feigning emotion and empathy–something I suspect that you're incapable of.

Another thing, it is called 'analogy' not because it is meant to give a perfect representation of something but because it shows similarities, however far-fetched, between two things. I used the condition of Yinka Ayefele only as an analogy.

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by DarkRebel69: 9:46pm On Sep 21, 2017
Piiko:
more like a rat on meth

LOL.
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by presentley: 9:54pm On Sep 21, 2017
sisisioge:
Well, I think it depends on who you are addressing. If you see me and say to me that I've added weight, you would be making my day cos I've been trying to add weight forever. It's just not happening to me.

If you see my sis and you say to her that she's added weight, then you would be marring her day cos she's been trying to lose weight forever.

So, if you aren't sure where the person you are addressing stands on the weight radar, I suggest you remain quiet about it.

Life is really complicated... What faces person A might be backing person B.
Lol, I was actually looking forward to your response on this to see which part of the divide you're gonna be, I guessed right.
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Nobody: 9:54pm On Sep 21, 2017
DarkRebel69:


Asking you to show some discretion during a conversation is not asking you to accept society's "standard of attractiveness". Your adeptness at misconstruing me beggars my comprehension.

It is common sense to know that making allusions–however innocuous your intentions might be–to a person's body mass or physical appearance is hardly the wisest nor the safest conversational path to tread, seeing as you might be unaware of the circumstances and emotional triggers tied to the change in the body weight of the individual. Suppose you made a remark about a person's weight and suppose it reminded him or her of a recent death in the family–probably he or she has grown lean or obese from grief. There are a million and one things to compliment a person about, so why insist on pointing out the obvious by telling a person just how fat or just how thin he or she is?

I am inclined to call you a psychopath but even psychopaths are pastmasters at feigning emotion and empathy–something I suspect that you're incapable of.

Another thing, it is called 'analogy' not because it is meant to give a perfect representation of something but because it shows similarities, however far-fetched, between two things. I used the condition of Yinka Ayefele only as an analogy.

maybe he didn't understand you the first time because of your plenty English lol

1 Like

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by sisisioge: 9:55pm On Sep 21, 2017
presentley:
Lol, I was actually looking forward to your response on this to see which part of the divide you're gonna be, I guessed right.

grin grin grin
Howdy?
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by presentley: 10:20pm On Sep 21, 2017
sisisioge:


grin grin grin
Howdy?
very fine o sisi, I didn't get your feedback. so I concluded you were probably satisfied. Hence, decided not to worry you again.
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by 1Sharon(f): 10:30pm On Sep 21, 2017
ImaIma1:
It is an offensive remark. It is nobody's business if you have added or lost. Nigerians use it as a form of greeting. I never comment about weight except i am asked directly.

Was if the person has actually gained weight? Some ppl can't help but speak their mind

1 Like

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by 1Sharon(f): 10:37pm On Sep 21, 2017
nnamdibig:
Ladies will say it's offensive while guys don't care.

They like to kid themselves.

Which is also why if you say a guy is fat he will take it on the chin. A woman on the otherhand will say she is thick, big-boned, plus sized, water weight grin Anything but FAT!

2 Likes

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by presentley: 10:39pm On Sep 21, 2017
1Sharon:


They like to kid themselves.

Which is also why if you say a guy is fat he will take it on the chin. A woman on the otherhand will say she is thick, big-boned, plus sized, water weight grin Anything but FAT!

sorry o, if you don't mind me asking, which gender is your own gangan?
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by sisisioge: 10:46pm On Sep 21, 2017
presentley:
very fine o sisi, I didn't get your feedback. so I concluded you were probably satisfied. Hence, decided not to worry you again.

You won't believe that I've not gotten around installing it. No mind me jare.
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by 1Sharon(f): 10:57pm On Sep 21, 2017
presentley:
sorry o, if you don't mind me asking, which gender is your own gangan?

You think I am male because I call out other females?
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by presentley: 10:57pm On Sep 21, 2017
sisisioge:


You won't believe that I've not gotten around installing it. No mind me jare.
This indeed is a wawu!! Its funny cos you sounded like you would have installed it same day but for time. I'm quite sure you'ld be fine with it, but until you confirm that. Its okay.
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by presentley: 11:09pm On Sep 21, 2017
1Sharon:


You think I am male because I call out other females?
Lol, I wasn't even sure. Male, female, trans I wasn't sure. Not because of the call out. You said "THEY like to kid themselves" so I wanted to be sure since your Moniker sound feminine and it also says F
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by 1Sharon(f): 11:10pm On Sep 21, 2017
presentley:
Lol, I wasn't even sure. Male, female, trans I wasn't sure. Not because of the call out. You said "THEY like to kid themselves" so I wanted to be sure since your Moniker sound feminine and it also says F

Oh yh I said they cos it doesn't apply to me

2 Likes

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Acidosis(m): 11:12pm On Sep 21, 2017
DarkRebel69:


Asking you to show some discretion during a conversation is not asking you to accept society's "standard of attractiveness". Your adeptness at misconstruing me beggars my comprehension.

It is common sense to know that making allusions–however innocuous your intentions might be–to a person's body mass or physical appearance is hardly the wisest nor the safest conversational path to tread, seeing as you might be unaware of the circumstances and emotional triggers tied to the change in the body weight of the individual. Suppose you made a remark about a person's weight and suppose it reminded him or her of a recent death in the family–probably he or she has grown lean or obese from grief. There are a million and one things to compliment a person about, so why insist on pointing out the obvious by telling a person just how fat or just how thin he or she is?

I am inclined to call you a psychopath but even psychopaths are pastmasters at feigning emotion and empathy–something I suspect that you're incapable of.

Another thing, it is called 'analogy' not because it is meant to give a perfect representation of something but because it shows similarities, however far-fetched, between two things. I used the condition of Yinka Ayefele only as an analogy.


I think you're just a difficult person to live with. People like you are the reasons I barely give compliments anyway.

When people compliment or say something about my weight, height, look, etc., I assume they're only trying to be nice, I don't read too much into it or take it too much to heart. To the best of my knowledge, it is socially acceptable by many. Imagine seeing a classmate you last met in 1999 today... You expect her to maintain her shape? You guys are simply difficult, complicated, and making friends with you would be a very tedious and unimaginable task.

Nigeria is not such a difficult place to live in. Sometimes when I walk pass some motor parks, I hear words like "yellow". That's typically how an average Nigerian transporter attracts a light-complexioned person.

If you decide to take everything to heart, you won't live too long. By the way, no one is responsible for someone else's anxieties.

I didn't bother to address your counter arguments because there is nothing to address. You didn't make any meaning as far as I'm concerned. Ayefele is deformed and any compliments regarding his deformity must be largely condemned. I expected that someone would call weight gain deformity but as usual, he came up with loads of crap.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by 1Sharon(f): 11:16pm On Sep 21, 2017
The fat acceptable movement only WOMEN are pushing this.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrWMitkz7J4
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Acidosis(m): 11:21pm On Sep 21, 2017
Proudgorgeousga:


maybe he didn't understand you the first time because of your plenty English lol

LOL


Plenty English don't impress me. It is one thing to be a writer, it is another to be an intelligent writer.

6 Likes

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by DarkRebel69: 11:33pm On Sep 21, 2017
Acidosis:

I think you're just a difficult person to live with. People like you are the reasons I barely give compliments anyway.

When people compliment or say something about my weight, height, look, etc., I assume they're only trying to be nice, I don't read too much into it or take it too much to heart. TO THE BE5T OF MY KNOWLEDGE, it is socially acceptable by many. Imagine seeing a classmate you last met in 1999 today... You expect her to maintain her shape? You guys are simply difficult and complicated.

Nigeria is not such a difficult place to live in. Sometimes when I walk pass some motor parks, I hear words like "yellow". That's typically how an average Nigerian transporter attracts a light-complexioned person.

If you decide to take everything to heart, you won't live too long. By the way, no one is responsible for someone else's anxieties.



To the best of your knowledge? How risible!
Pray, have you ever heard of perspectivism and its teachings on the flawed limitations of a single individual's take or opinion on an issue? If you have not then have you by chance come across the "Lucretius underestimation"? No? Titus Lucretius Carus–the Roman poet and philosopher–called a fool the man who claims that the highest mountain he has ever seen and the highest mountain in the world are one and the same. I am not calling you a fool, but Lucretius is calling you a fool for thinking the "best of your knowledge" can pass as a universal verity.

Even on this thread alone, there is a preponderance of people who are against overt allusion to a person's body weight, so when you say it is "socially acceptable to many'' I'm inclined to wonder who those "many people" are. You know what they say about statistics? 97% of them are made up on the spot.

Also, that I think making a remark about a person's body weight is gauche and inept, especially when that person is not of a close intimacy, does not mean that I would consider it a slight on my person should someone make an observation about my weight. It is quite silly of you to conclude that the only reason I am opposed to such crude behaviour must be because I am sensitive to such observations myself. Look at how simplistic your mind runs.

4 Likes

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Nobody: 11:51pm On Sep 21, 2017
well, it depends on who you're addressing, some persons might start planning your murder in their heads, some might actually appreciate the compliment while some might not care. so how do you tell who's insecure about their weight and who isn't, truth is an alarming number of people -especially women- are.

so its best to altogether refrain from commenting on a person's weight, unless perhaps your opinion was solicited!! I personally find it very rude and intrusive undecided
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Acidosis(m): 11:53pm On Sep 21, 2017
...
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Acidosis(m): 11:54pm On Sep 21, 2017
DarkRebel69:


To the best of your knowledge? How risible!
Pray, have you ever heard of perspectivism and its teachings on the flawed limitations of a single individual's take or opinion on an issue? If you have not then have you by chance come across the "Lucretius Understatement"? No? Titus Lucretius Carus–the Roman poet and philosopher–called a fool the man who claims that the highest mountain he has ever seen and the highest mountain in the world are one and the same. I am not calling you a fool, but Lucretius is calling you a fool for thinking the "best of your knowledge" can pass as a universal verity.

Even on this thread alone, there is a preponderance of people who are against overt allusion to a person's body weight, so when you say it is "socially acceptable to many'' I'm inclined to wonder who those "many people" are. You know what they say about statistics? 97% of them are made up on the spot.

Alse, that I think making a remark about a person's body weight is gauche and inept, especially when that person is not of a close intimacy, does not mean that I would consider it a slight on my person should someone make an observation about my weight. It is quite silly of you to conclude that the only reason I am opposed to such crude behaviour must be because I am sensitive to such observations myself. Look at how simplistic your mind runs.

You need to purge your mind 'my friend', this debate needs commonsense, not poetry.

We are social animals, we all have the social responsibility to be nice to people around us.

I can tell you for a fact that only two categories of humans (Nigerians) adopt the words "weight loss and weight gain"

1. weight gain: is mostly used in our environment as a compliment, evidence of good living.

2. weight loss: whether it involves a dead relative or not, this word is used by people who truly cares or attempt to show some concern.

The same way we go about complimenting people's attires not minding whether they feel terrible is just the same way some will take offence on compliments regarding their body or weight.

Whether you see the meaning in my post or not, I would at this stage have to agree with you since the argument is leading to nowhere.

4 Likes

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Collins4u1(m): 6:19am On Sep 22, 2017
It's only ladies that are complaining here, tell it to a guy no problem.. Some Ladies don't like the truth just keep deceiving them and they are good.

1 Like

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Nobody: 6:54am On Sep 22, 2017
Acidosis:


You need to purge your mind 'my friend', this debate needs commonsense, not poetry.

We are social animals, we all have the social responsibility to be nice to people around us.

I can tell you for a fact that only two categories of humans (Nigerians) adopt the words "weight loss and weight gain"

1. weight gain: is mostly used in our environment as a compliment, evidence of good living.

2. weight loss: whether it involves a dead relative or not, this word is used by people who truly cares or attempt to show some concern.

The same way we go about complimenting people's attires not minding whether they feel terrible is just the same way some will take offence on compliments regarding their body or weight.

Whether you see the meaning in my post or not, I would at this stage have to agree with you since the argument is leading to nowhere.

are all these people saying it's intrusive and tactless to comment about weight not Nigerians?

2 Likes

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by lilmax(m): 6:58am On Sep 22, 2017
And you see from this topic ladies are having orgasms grin

ladies don't like the word "fat"... that's all grin
Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by qhutetomsel(f): 7:14am On Sep 22, 2017
Piiko:
more like a rat on meth
this is effing hilarious! grin grin

1 Like

Re: "You've Added Weight O" Is This An Offensive Remark? by Nobody: 8:10am On Sep 22, 2017
qhutetomsel:
this is effing hilarious! grin grin
cheesy cheesy

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