Do you have or know a brother or Sister,who willingly decides not to help out his siblings or parents financially despite being so rich, not caring or remembering you all suffered together, Worst is: do they let you know that they have the ability to help out but have decided they won't or they ask you to make your requests only to disappoint or stylishly insult you. I don't mean extended family members (I think that MIGHT be understandable ), I mean Immediate siblings and parents. what do you think might be the course and if you are someone who does this what are your reasons, please if you have no reasonable comments, skip (wakapass) Biko.

waka passing

Your story is not complete.
There must be a reason why he is acting that way.
Did he grow up with you?Has he always been that way and he changed?
Is he married and marriage changed him?

It's well o.

I think it might be to your benefit, your sibling is simply training you to be as independent as possible.

thorpido:
Your story is not complete.
There must be a reason why he is action g that way.
Did he grow up with you?Has he always been that way and he changed?
Is he married and marriage changed him?

Yes everyone grew up together, I think it just his true nature because anytime he needs the family members like to be present at naming ceremony or introduction and those kind of stuff, he suddenly becomes friendly,calling everyone, reminding them they are all family members,making promises but once he is through he dumps everyone, won't pick calls, not even that of his mother until he needs them again . maybe we never really noticed

Then stop expecting and cslling him.Its difficukt but with time when he sees you guys no send him he'll turn around.

Khonifer:
I think it might be to your benefit, your sibling is simply training you to be as independent as possible.

I would have agreed with you if he was taking care of his mother at least and I would have agreed If we call him for help, but he is the one that just suddenly calls out of the blues,asking questions about how far you've gone in life like a monitoring spirit, then starts making promises you didn't ask for, like I'll get you another job, I have the connections, you should develop your talents I'll talk to someone blah blah blah .

Khonifer:
I think it might be to your benefit, your sibling is simply training you to be as independent as possible.

I would have agreed with you if he was taking care of his mother or if anyone calls for help except the last child and mother that keeps hoping and hoodwinked with mother's love, he is the one that calls out of the blues trying to know what is happening to everyone and their future plans like a monitoring spirit,and making promises he never keeps, like you need to change your job, I have contacts or you should further abroad I can sponsor it, or you should work on your talent I'll talk to someone people, blah blah blah

amprat:

I would have agreed with you if he was taking care of his mother or if anyone calls for help except the last child and mother that keeps hoping and hoodwinked with mother's love, he is the one that calls out of the blues trying to know what is happening to everyone and their future plans like a monitoring spirit,and making promises he never keeps, like you need to change your job, I have contacts or you should further abroad I can sponsor it, or you should work on your talent I'll talk to someone people, blah blah blah

It could be like you said. He honestly doesn't care. Maybe those times his wife or something else might remind him of his family and so he calls and tries to act like a loving sibling.

Some people just don't care. Remove your mind from the guy

YOU KNOW WETIN ENGLISH CALL CONTEMPT AND DISDAIN

YOU AMBITIOUS FOCUS

ACTIVATES. AMBITIOUS FOCUS
FOR UR SELF

AND ACTIVATE CONTEMPT AND DISDAIN FOR HIM ANYTIME HE CALL U BE POLITE BUT PRETEND THAT YOU CAN NOT REMEMBER HIM FOR NOW

TRY IT

HE WILL VALUE YOU THAN DIAMOND

amprat:

Yes everyone grew up together, I think it just his true nature because anytime he needs the family members like to be present at naming ceremony or introduction and those kind of stuff, he suddenly becomes friendly,calling everyone, reminding them they are all family members,making promises but once he is through he dumps everyone, won't pick calls, not even that of his mother until he needs them again . maybe we never really noticed

Something is wrong somewhere.I hope his spouse has not turned his heart away from the family.

I disagree with the believe that spouses turn ur heart against ur own family,its just what u accepted. He is not doing the right thing towards his parents ,siblings can deal wiv there own life ,but u owe parents alot.

dreamtech3636:
YOU KNOW WETIN ENGLISH CALL CONTEMPT AND DISDAIN

YOU AMBITIOUS FOCUS

ACTIVATES. AMBITIOUS FOCUS
FOR UR SELF

AND ACTIVATE CONTEMPT AND DISDAIN FOR HIM ANYTIME HE CALL U BE POLITE BUT PRETEND THAT YOU CAN NOT REMEMBER HIM FOR NOW

TRY IT

HE WILL VALUE YOU THAN DIAMOND

Thanks, me I don't even send, coupled with the fact that the rest of us are more than united (if there's any word like that), while he might be richer it's not like we depend on him:as Yoruba ppl say, am not satisfied/filled yet but am not hungry either. I only pity mum who single handedly trained us as a young widow who refused to remarry cos of her children, I just wonder if this character is a normal and am just the one seeing it as unusual.

Anyone who can't use his money to help his brothers and family members should examine himself. Charity they say begins at home and no reason can justify such cursed and wicked action.

If you are happy, then you should use your income to help people especially your family members. No one needs any advise to do this.

Your brother needs help. He might have listened to some strange words from wicked people and decided to trade in that direction or he is cursed.

He needs an enemy who will stand infront of him and publicly tell him the truth in its undiluted words. But if you guys reply him in good and loving tones when he makes his usual caring calls to your family members, then you guys should take what you see.

When everyone within the family is saying the same thing to him, then he will be freed from the bondage he is into.

He is not you father. He owes you guys nothing. If he decides to help your mum, it’s coz he wants to do so, not coz he has to.

It is the responsibility of a parent to train his/her children, so your mum did not do him or you guys a Favour by not remarrying, that was her decision.

She did her job, you people were not consulted before she decided to have you. So training you guys was not a privilege, it was her absolute responsibility.

Get your own life and stop looking at him for help, as you come this life, na so him too take come the life.

Some of you siblings expect that your older ones or the richer sibling will die for you. Make your own money. He has his own family to think of now, and besides you’re not the one working for his money, so stop feeling entitled.

Nigerians and their entitlement mentality.

Well said! @Reasonabledoubt
I wonder why people can't get a grip and understand that you are responsible for yourself as an adult. You are your own life architect and designer. It is between you and your maker to do the best you can.
Op, think about it - he is married with children who are his responsibilities... you should take his promises with a face value and say thank you with no expectations...no absolutely expectation(s)!!
I agree he should help his mama. You are wrong to expect something from him yourself. Leave him alone because you never know what he is going through financially or otherwise.

Reasonabledoubt:
He is not you father. He owes you guys nothing. If he decides to help your mum, it’s coz he wants to do so, not coz he has to.

It is the responsibility of a parent to train his/her children, so your mum did not do him or you guys a Favour by not remarrying, that was her decision.

She did her job, you people were not consulted before she decided to have you. So training you guys was not a privilege, it was her absolute responsibility.

Get your own life and stop looking at him for help, as you come this life, na so him too take come the life.

Some of you siblings expect that your older ones or the richer sibling will die for you. Make your own money. He has his own family to think of now, and besides you’re not the one working for his money, so stop feeling entitled.

Nigerians and their entitlement mentality.

@OP

Foremost, I don't hold brief for selfish and self-centered people - like the character you presented - however, you need to be certain that you or others are not erroneously quantifying his financial worth out of covetousness and self-centeredness. More so, if the family is one with large number of dependent siblings together with parents, and where there's no centralized bank account where each individual volitionally donates money for the general cause of all and where some may obtain favour from the accused without notifying others, he (the accused) may really be overreaching his limit without everyone of you knowing.

To lead/be in a well-placed position is never an easy task, especially when those to lead/help possess one or all of the following negative attitudes; narcissism, self-centeredness, covetousness or conceitedness.

LordKO:
@OP

Foremost, I don't hold brief for selfish and self-centered people - like the character you presented - however, you need to be certain that you or others are not erroneously quantifying his financial worth out of covetousness and self-centeredness. More so, if the family is one with large number of dependent siblings together with parents, and where there's no centralized bank account where each individual volitionally donates money for the general cause of all and where some may obtain favour from the accused without notifying others, he (the accused) may really be overreaching his limit without everyone of you knowing.

To lead/be in a well-placed position is never an easy task, especially when those to lead/help possess one or all of the following negative attitudes; narcissism, self-centeredness, covetousness or conceitedness.

we are just 6, including him and mum, besides he is one of thos3 people who flaunt money in your face and tells the ones still in university to go and hustle, that he has reached a stage where he can use 50k for just refreshments, the last time he travelled to Dubai he made sure everyone knew including his mother and told her he should have taken her there but he just didn't.

amprat:

we are just 6, including him and mum, besides he is one of thos3 people who flaunt money in your face and tells the ones still in university to go and hustle, that he has reached a stage where he can use 50k for just refreshments, the last time he travelled to Dubai he made sure everyone knew including his mother and told her he should have taken her there but he just didn't.

You all should ignore him and stop asking for stuff. Stop calling or contacting him since the only purpose he serves in your life is to cause you grief. When he realises he is non existent to you he will start thinking his life again. If he calls you, pick, but don't ever initiate contact no matter how many promises he makes.

people should please read the post and try to get the gist of what am saying :I haven't in anyway said he owes his siblings, maybe his mother if he so wishes, may I also inform all that I am married with kids, so is another of my siblings, another is working and earns more than 100k a month, only the last child is in university 400level,therefore my bone of contention is not we wallowing in poverty and needing his help for every and any lil thing, am just trying to understand his mindset, why promise things you won't fulfill, y call to check up on people when they mean nothing to you stay on your own Biko, why tell them you just moved into a duplex when you won't open the gate when they get there, why open your mouth to tell your own mother you Just took your wife to Dubai that she should have been the one but you changed your mind, why tag your siblings pix of you in different countries or celebrating birthday in an expensive restaurant with friends when you didn't invite your own nuclear family, the list is endless, knowing we were raised together with the same values and he turns out this way is what is confusing not how he chooses to spend his money.

Reasonabledoubt:
He is not you father. He owes you guys nothing. If he decides to help your mum, it’s coz he wants to do so, not coz he has to.

It is the responsibility of a parent to train his/her children, so your mum did not do him or you guys a Favour by not remarrying,, you people were not consulted before she decided to have you. So training you guys was not a privilege, it was her absolute responsibility.
Get your own life and stop looking at him for help.
Some of you siblings expect that your older ones or the richer sibling will die for you.
Nigerians and their entitlement mentality.

Its really not about entitlement. If you love and care for your family you would help them when they need you. He is not under obligation to help which is true but his actions potray a lack of affection in his heart towards his mom/siblings. Why can't he just explain that he is under the strain of catering for his wife and kids instead of calling everytimeto brag about his wealth?

amprat:

we are just 6, including him and mum, besides he is one of thos3 people who flaunt money in your face and tells the ones still in university to go and hustle, that he has reached a stage where he can use 50k for just refreshments, the last time he travelled to Dubai he made sure everyone knew including his mother and told her he should have taken her there but he just didn't.

In that case, he's obviously compassionless, self-centered and selfish.

But OP be since to yourself, did you people bully him or make fun of him when he was growing up and trying to make it? He sounds like he is angry with you all for some reason and just trying to get revenge.
Why will he call to rub your face in his wealth and then make fake promises to help and even refuse you entry into his house if you didn't do anything to hurt him before? Sounds so wierd to me.
If you didn't treat him bad in the past and he is now doing all this then he is just a heartless sadist.

Stop picking when he calls

Maybe he did money ritual..

Reasonabledoubt:
He is not you father. He owes you guys nothing. If he decides to help your mum, it’s coz he wants to do so, not coz he has to.

It is the responsibility of a parent to train his/her children, so your mum did not do him or you guys a Favour by not remarrying, that was her decision.

She did her job, you people were not consulted before she decided to have you. So training you guys was not a privilege, it was her absolute responsibility.

Get your own life and stop looking at him for help, as you come this life, na so him too take come the life.

Some of you siblings expect that your older ones or the richer sibling will die for you. Make your own money. He has his own family to think of now, and besides you’re not the one working for his money, so stop feeling entitled.

Nigerians and their entitlement mentality.

I am very sure you are not close to your family

Manboyoo:


I am very sure you are not close to your family

I think he is under pressure from family to provie thats why he sees things like that.

Duduade made an unpopular, but valid point. Yes, he doesn't owe them anything, but the extent the op is portraying is suspicious.

Let's face it. Even if it isn't an entitlement thing, it shouldn't be as bad as not supporting a struggling immediate family.

Unlike many of us on this platform, I believe some Nollywood stories, especially Yoruba movies and I've seen this script played out before.

True. One thing too - it is never greener with the other person.

Op, since you all have financial stability and are compassionate, you all should join hands in supporting your mom and last born. Send him update if possible.
He doesn't want to start something he can't finish or continue - it is called life. Everyone can't be the same.

Viking007:
If there is one thing I've learnt in this life is that - You are all You've got, no one owes You anything. The earlier You start living Your life expecting nothing from anyone, the better.

thorpido:
Something is wrong somewhere.I hope his spouse has not turned his heart away from the family.

This is the mistake many people make. Always quick to accuse the man's wife of turning him against his family, forgetting that many men are selfish and don't want to help others.