Hi nairalanders, I'm 39 and I'm yet to marry a young lady whom I met last year(2017). She is a very good girl and can't wait to have her as my wife. My previous relationship has failed and I have two small children who left with their mothers. As I'm saying right now I don't have a decent job to buy or build my dream house not to talk of buying a car. For four years now i am working as a general worker at a certain bricks and paving firm and my heart is not even there at all. I have some (IT) qualifications that can earn me good money if I get a job. I've been applying for a decent job for a longtime without any success. I'm starting to worry that time is ticking and I don't have a good job, or my own home or married. I'm still staying at my parents house with my other siblings and I'm worried.

I will accept any good advice.

Firstly I'll advise you to hustle extremely hard to build a house and buy a car then you can talk of relationship......better build up yourself no girl wants to settle for less especially now that this government is shrinking...... what was it you said that happened to your previous relationship... let's start from there

speechless

Thegeneralqueen:
Firstly I'll advise you to hustle extremely hard to build a house and buy a car then you can talk of relationship......better build up yourself no girl wants to settle for less especially now that this government is shrinking...... what was it you said that happened to your previous relationship... let's start from there

Come on..

Car and house before relationships? Is that the new normal?
If after those, situations get bad and the house and car get lost, then what happened to the relationship? I dont get it.. So because the 'government is shrinking'. Girls want people with cars and houses before relationships? Maybe politicians with 100 cars and houses can have hundreds of girls and ruin their futures.

No wonder yahoo boys ruin such girls' lives..

Hmmmm.


At 39 and you re still living with ur parents. Why don't you start from somewhere. Get a place of ur own first and then continue from there

Thegeneralqueen:
Firstly I'll advise you to hustle extremely hard to build a house and buy a car then you can talk of relationship......better build up yourself no girl wants to settle for less especially now that this government is shrinking...... what was it you said that happened to your previous relationship... let's start from there

Till when. He must not have all that before starting a family dear.

new2012:



Come on..

Car and house before relationships? Is that the new normal?
If after those, situations get bad and the house and car get lost, then what happened to the relationship? I dont get it.. So because the 'government is shrinking'. Girls want people with cars and houses before relationships? Maybe politicians with 100 cars and houses can have hundreds of girls and ruin their futures.

No wonder yahoo boys ruin such girls' lives..

Once you learn how to accept the truth you'll definitely see changes in you..... no lady wants to settle for less so the earlier you stop being a sissy and hustle for yourself the better I hope it helps

Thegeneralqueen:
Firstly I'll advise you to hustle extremely hard to build a house and buy a car then you can talk of relationship......better build up yourself no girl wants to settle for less especially now that this government is shrinking...... what was it you said that happened to your previous relationship... let's start from there

I no longer want to discuss my failed previous relationship, I want to concentrate on my current relationship.

shinarlaura:


Till when. He must not have all that before starting a family dear

Sis he don't even have a roof of his own he still staying with his parents I wouldn't advise any lady to embark on that risky journey

Comon u re too serious in dis ur write up. D person u replied is jst trying to be sarcastic cos op is not a serious person. How will op will still be living with his parents at the age of 39yrs?

new2012:



Come on..

Car and house before relationships? Is that the new normal?
If after those, situations get bad and the house and car get lost, then what happened to the relationship? I dont get it.. So because the 'government is shrinking'. Girls want people with cars and houses before relationships? Maybe politicians with 100 cars and houses can have hundreds of girls and ruin their futures.

No wonder yahoo boys ruin such girls' lives..

marunga:
I no longer want to discuss my failed previous relationship, I want to concentrate on my current relationship.

What happened let's know who's fault it is before we can help you

Thegeneralqueen:


Once you learn how to accept the truth you'll definitely see changes in you..... no lady wants to settle for less so the earlier you stop being a sissy and hustle for yourself the better I hope it helps

Angel, its not about you but your shallow mentality. Not everybody you meet online live around your warped mentality. If thats your 'truth', please remain a liar for your mentality is not yet 'waned'

Check the Nigerian statistics bureau, for every male unable to find a wife, there are six (6) females unable to find husbands. So at the end of the day, when they are near their prime and the guys with 'car and houses ' dont show up, they are at shiloh and redeem fervently praying for husbands.

braimeddy:
Comon u re too serious in dis ur write up. D person u replied is jst trying to be sarcastic cos op is not a serious person. How will hope will still be living with his parents at the age of 39yrs?

My sincere apologies! My sense of humour have been bruised by the news coming from Nigeria.

But she replied in same line of thought, you'll never know, she might be serious!

People like the OP do exist, once in a while you figure out full grown adults who are yet to find a path for their lives.

Thegeneralqueen:
Sis he don't even have a roof of his own he still staying with his parents I wouldn't advise any lady to embark on that risky journey

You re right there. Even me can't get married to a guy who still lives under his parents roof. But he must not aquire a car and build a house first before starting a family. He has been working for some years now which means he has some saving. Let him start by renting an apartment of his own then take it from there.

At op's age, he doesn't have to find a lady that will also be a liability. He needs a working class lady that can plan with him. And he should also move out of his parent's house before any other thing else.

new2012:


My sincere apologies! My sense of humour have been bruised by the news coming from Nigeria.

But she replied in same line of thought, you'll never know, she might be serious!

People like the OP do exist, once in a while you figure out full grown adults who are yet to find a path for their lives.

shinarlaura:


Till when. He must not have all that before starting a family dear.

Now this is a decent lady.

victorakpabome:


Now this is a decent lady.

marriage is overrated.
stay single and enjoy pvssy.if i was 45 and not married i would be spending the little cash i make on myself. being alone is not as big a disaster as everyone wants to make it out to be. we were born alone and we will die alone.no big deal. just expectations.
OP relax.you'll stress yourself to death over a problem that wasnt gona kill you.

if you really need to make it before 40 then you'll have to take the same shortcuts women been taking since forever-find a woman with her sh!t already...i see it here everytime in South Africa coz women are reasonably empowered and independent. i dont know how the situation is like where you are from. but start thinking along those lines.but that self-pitying attitude wont work with those type of women.you'll need a complete mindset change.

new2012:



Angel, its not about you but your shallow mentality. Not everybody you meet online live around your warped mentality. If thats your 'truth', please remain a liar for your mentality is not yet 'waned'

Check the Nigerian statistics bureau, for every male unable to find a wife, there are six (6) females unable to find husbands. So at the end of the day, when they are near their prime and the guys with 'car and houses ' dont show up, they are at shiloh and redeem fervently praying for husbands.

Why would I take an old news serious you don't worth my time dude you're being left behind in case you don't know we're in a modernise era so don't compare the way people get married in the 80s and now no new2012 it doesn't work that way you have to build up yourself before you can get married no lady wants to settle for less biko I hope it helps

shinarlaura:


You re right there. Even me can't get married to a guy who still lives under his parents roof. But he must not aquire a car and build a house first before starting a family. He has been working for some years now which means he has some saving. Let him start by renting an apartment of his own then take it from there.

I must see the zeal in such person before I can embark on that risky journey the money must be there biko

Thegeneralqueen:
I must see the zeal in such person before I can embark on that risky journey the money must be there biko

Hahahahaha.. u re not serious

'Buy and build your dream home'?Must you buy or build a house before you marry?Can you rent an apartment first?
Keep working hard.Try to look for ways to get extra income. You say you have IT qualifications,can you learn internet business?

I hope the lady you are seeing has a job or business.You have no business dating a dependent girl now.Also sort out issues with the mother of your children- the children's schooling and living expenses.

shinarlaura:


Hahahahaha.. u re not serious

Yes nah poverty is evil and if a man can't defeat it before getting married.....that man has failed.... there would definitely be problems in that marriage..... 90% of marital Crisis are been constitute through poverty so is better you look well as a single lady before getting married

Thegeneralqueen:
Why would I take an old news serious you don't worth my time dude you're being left behind in case you don't know we're in a modernise era so don't compare the way people get married in the 80s and now no new2012 it doesn't work that way you have to build up yourself before you can get married no lady wants to settle for less biko I hope it helps

Why are you so backward?


Does it matter if a guy build himself or not, thats his cup of tea and not ur business? We keep talking of equality, feminism and there goes a lady whose life goals is for a man to build himself while she slide into his life for that. As a lady, you gotta build yourself and if ladies learn to develop themselves, those men wont ride them like they do in Nigeria. Who told you guys want to settle for less too?


Damn!

marunga:
I no longer want to discuss my failed previous relationship, I want to concentrate on my current relationship.

If ur seeking advice from that idiot, You are wasting ur time !!!!

Thegeneralqueen:
Firstly I'll advise you to hustle extremely hard to build a house and buy a car then you can talk of relationship......better build up yourself no girl wants to settle for less especially now that this government is shrinking...... what was it you said that happened to your previous relationship... let's start from there

Small sense you no get

braimeddy:
At op's age, he doesn't have to find a lady that will also be a liability. He needs a working class lady that can plan with him. And he should also move out of his parent's house before any other thing else.

That Guy's mentality is flawed, his reasoning is silly.. At that age still under his parent's roof is a crime. Even if its a cubicle or with friends, will make more sense but not under his parents.

That being said, the lady you thought was sarcastic was being serious. Car? House? The men should develop theirselves before her kind can marry then. Some Nigerians kill me with their reasoning. We are still in the seventeenth century in Nigeria.. The reproductive organ is there to determine who should develop himself/herself. Cool!

Those two children you said you have, did you bed their mothers and raise them under your parent's roof too? That'd make you a directionless guy.

new2012:



Why are you so backward?


Does it matter if a guy build himself or not, thats his cup of tea and not ur business? We keep talking of equality, feminism and there goes a lady whose life goals is for a man to build himself while she slide into his life for that. As a lady, you gotta build yourself and if ladies learn to develop themselves, those men wont ride them like they do in Nigeria. Who told you guys want to settle for less too?


Damn!

WTF did I just read an upcoming gold digger in the making who won't get his life together except a woman fix it up for him

Now for the fact that you don't have anything meaningful doing in your life doesn't gives you the right to quote me this way

Now my advice for you is..... you should learn how to hustle extremely hard before getting married that way you'll succeed in life and unnecessary problems won't be your issues I hope it helps

HeWrites:



Small sense you no get

Go get busy boy is too early to start exchanging words with women..... I hope it helps

Thegeneralqueen:
Go get busy boy is too early to start exchanging words with women..... I hope it helps

You stay home to earn money likewise me

The different between us is you use your hole to get your cash while I use my brain and phone.


I hope you understand better

39. hmm that's strong o