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My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by bekpo(m): 11:54pm On Apr 09, 2018
Chaclaitmilk:


She said she can be forcibly thrown out and her children taken from her if she is not protected by the law. She isn't doing it for money.

U and ur sister r very parochial, allow d man b. don't cause problem in d family when there's non.
Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by elonize(m): 11:57pm On Apr 09, 2018
Leme say dis,1st of court marriage shows ders no trust,its like bf n gf mata,dey can break up nytym,u c y nowadays marriage dnt last,person wen b ur wife or husband, una still dey do bf n gf,xo sory,London bridge is falling dwn.......do ur research, court marriages neva last,no woman shud bring up dat shit wt me

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by ceyrahtlk(f): 12:02am On Apr 10, 2018
blank:


End of the unnecessary drama. I had a cousin who went to Church for her wedding and was still insisting they did court. I tried to explain to her but she no hear. Eventually, they went to the court and those ones said that they already had the record as the church had dropped a copy. Unnecessary drama.

OP, listen to this lady. If the church is a registered and licensed to carry out wedding ceremonies under the law then there is no issue here.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by Chaclaitmilk(m): 12:07am On Apr 10, 2018
Thanks for suggestions, to those who wrote without insults or false accusations. I have picked my solution from your posts.

The others who came with insults can go to hell with their unwanted senseless posts.

5 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by NgwaManNaija4LF(m): 12:14am On Apr 10, 2018
nabegibeg:

your wedding needs to be validate by the law of the land ( which is the FG)

madam your sister's husband has skeleton in his cupboard


She needs to validate her wedding in line with FG guidelines or else if anything happens to the husband, heaven forbids, she will lose everything you both worked for that is in his name to his husband family.

if both of you must own property he must put it in your name or both of you must be signatory to it

Who nonesense FG help, law of the land is the village law, the bitch ain't loyal and should go and hang. No court wedding.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by openmine(m): 12:15am On Apr 10, 2018
Chaclaitmilk:


She said she can be forcibly thrown out and her children taken from her if she is not protected by the law. She isn't doing it for money.
If that's her reasoning then its either she is a house wife or unemployed.... that's why its very important for a lady to get a job rather than restricting herself to her Hubby's belongings...

A wise woman once told me that "what is yours is your and no one can take it away from u"!
Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by Chaclaitmilk(m): 12:20am On Apr 10, 2018
openmine:

If that's her reasoning then its either she is a house wife or unemployed.... that's why its very important for a lady to get a job rather than restricting herself to her Hubby's belongings...

A wise woman once told me that "what is yours is your and no one can take it away from u"!

It's very funny how African men always reiterate that women should have jobs and not take money from their husbands but they will flare up if you suggest that husbands should cook and cleanup after themselves instead of depending on their wives for it.

10 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by chronique(m): 12:26am On Apr 10, 2018
baby124:

Did your sister have the discussion of polygamy with him before marriage? Is she ok with polygamy? If she’s not then this is her chance to run away. Divorce after court wedding is more expensive, time consuming and tedious than divorce if traditional marriage or religious rites. If she cannot deal with or agree to a second wife then she should walk away from the sham.

See how you're typing that she should walk away from the marriage, as if you have a ready made husband waiting for her at the bus stop.

OP: be careful of the kind of advice you listen to on the internet. Some people would advice you to do what they'd never do,and leave you miserable. So long as domestic violence isn't an issue with them,don't listen to any advice of her leaving... Not everyone is happy with their lives,and some wouldn't hesitate to drag others to their level.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by Kulas: 12:27am On Apr 10, 2018
OP, simply tell us that your husband refused court marriage,so we can know how to help you. Stop using sister this and sister that
Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by Obierika(m): 12:28am On Apr 10, 2018
Chaclaitmilk:


Personally I think he wants to keep his option of getting a second wife open. Am just guessing though since the guy is from a polygamy family.

I don't blame him if this is his reason
Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by linearity: 12:29am On Apr 10, 2018
Chaclaitmilk:


She said she can be forcibly thrown out and her children taken from her if she is not protected by the law. She isn't doing it for money.

Am surprised that, you have your answers and are still here asking.

As to her saying ‘it is not for money’, the truth is the protection come as a package....and it is usually ‘not for money’ until it becomes ‘for money’ down the road.

If she did not do court marriage, she is still protected by customary marriage laws, but not as strong as the statutory protection that comes with court marriage or if she is given a FGN certificate during the church wedding.

Since her husband insists on not doing it, she should drop the issue, the longer she dwell on that issue, the more the husband would start thinking that, she have an ulterior motive behind the marriage all along....The purest of men will think so!

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by openmine(m): 12:31am On Apr 10, 2018
Chaclaitmilk:


It's very funny how African men always reiterate that women should have jobs and not take money from their husbands but they will flare up if you suggest that husbands should cook and cleanup after themselves instead of depending on their wives for it.
Bro/sis no lady should depend on anything from the hubby....if she had money or a fortune,she won't be insistent on a court wedding....

There are so many advantages that a woman with a job can achieve....

The cooking and cleaning part is unnecessary in this discus...pls stick to the path of this post...stop deviating!
Ur sis needs a job asap....

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by nabegibeg: 12:31am On Apr 10, 2018
NgwaManNaija4LF:


Who nonesense FG help, law of the land is the village law, the bitch ain't loyal and should go and hang. No court wedding.

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by henribj(m): 12:33am On Apr 10, 2018
Why do I think I perceive something fishy in the op's write up? To me it appears the woman is older than the man and probably used money to entice and keep the man married to her since age is not on her side, now since her dad and she are probably going to be assisting the man financially so his business can get bigger and all that, she does not want a case of the man blowing up and changing it for her later.
#justmyopinion

6 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by linearity: 12:34am On Apr 10, 2018
Chaclaitmilk:


It's very funny how African men always reiterate that women should have jobs and not take money from their husbands but they will flare up if you suggest that husbands should cook and cleanup after themselves instead of depending on their wives for it.

It helps the woman a lot, if she have a career, business or a job, she can fall back on to; if plan A does not work.

The husband can always get someone to cook, clean or wash his clothes if plan A does not work.
Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by Chaclaitmilk(m): 12:36am On Apr 10, 2018
linearity:


Am surprised that, you have your answers and are still here asking.

As to her saying ‘it is not for money’, the truth is the protection come as a package....and it is usually ‘not for money’ until it becomes ‘for money’ down the road.

If she did not do court marriage, she is still protected by customary marriage laws, but not as strong as the statutory protection that comes with court marriage or if she is given a FGN certificate during the church wedding.

Since her husband insists on not doing it, she should drop the issue, the longer she dwell on that issue, the more the husband would start thinking that, she have an ulterior motive behind the marriage all along....The purest of men will think so!

I will even advice her to not pressure him into court marriage because I found out from this thread that the husband can take his wife's money if they divorce after court marriage.

I see men here angrily saying her husband should not do court wedding so she won't get his property after divorce, well the tables can be turned.

Since she has enough moola to retire permanently I will even beg her to stop asking for court marriage grin

In case of divorce (God forbid) she gets to keep everything she has, all the money and houses and cars to herself. No sharing properties. grin

6 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by kalu61(m): 12:44am On Apr 10, 2018
Chaclaitmilk:


She said she can be forcibly thrown out and her children taken from her if she is not protected by the law. She isn't doing it for money.
and you think the court will protect her marriage. The only thing she is guaranteed of is the children custody other thing don't work in the system. Monthly stipend is not sure even. Young woman, I see you and your sister have a feeling that will not help that marriage. A man says, l don't want court marriage and you are ganging up to thwart it. Hmmm, don't play with a man's ago. leave persuasion cos he has made up his mind if not he would be open for negotiation.
Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by kalu61(m): 12:51am On Apr 10, 2018
Chaclaitmilk:


I will even advice her to not pressure him into court marriage because I found out from this thread that the husband can take his wife's money if they divorce after court marriage.

I see men here angrily saying her husband should not do court wedding so she won't get his property after divorce, well the tables can be turned.

Since she has enough moola to retire permanently I will even beg her to stop asking for court marriage grin

In case of divorce (God forbid) she gets to keep everything she has, all the money and houses and cars to herself. No sharing properties. grin
now I see, the man is taken as puppet cos the woman is richer. You and your sister wants to put him under the armpit, control his life and threaten him however you like. On this ground, you guys are very stupid. She doesn't want to share her wealth but if it's the man's case, she will want part of his wealth. Marriage no bi force na. May bi na this kind thing de fear Kinder lkeji

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Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by Nobody: 1:05am On Apr 10, 2018
What matters more his wishes and honoring it as your husband or a hypothetical exit strategy
Re: My Sister Wants Court Marriage, Her Husband Doesn't. Advise Her Please by spiritedtete: 1:10am On Apr 10, 2018
Your sister isn't married yet... if she isn't married by the law.... that is how the outside world will see it... what if she needs a marriage certificate to prove she is married?... obviously the husband knows what he is doing... he can decide to dump her anytime... more also he can decide to marry another woman... funny how he will now end up in court with the second woman. Your sister is in for surprises.... she is not safe reasons she is bothered.

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