I cannot judge as Jesus has not judged me. So I will not call you wayward for sleeping with someone else while you were on a break with your boo.

That being said if I was your Boo, if I find out later that you lied on something this significant , I will never ever ever trust you.

Best option is come clean, you didn't cheat unless you already lied you didn't see someone else during the break in that case we have to refer the case to the council of elders

"I don't want the wedding to be called off" lmaooo,
olosho! na now you wan retire from business
well, having sex during the break up is not a bad thing, but having it with someone you don't have feelings for... ahn ahn, you check am na, only oloshos do that

Op
What goes round comes around.

Pick his call. Listen to what he has to say.
If he intends to blackmail you, tell ur fiance
what happened.

As it is, u will need to tell ur man what happened so that u can live off any sense of guilt. After all it happened when u broke off.

If he continues with the relationship, good, if he doesn't, good, at least u would have learnt a valuable lesson.

Ladies, don't open ur legs for any man that comes smiling, u may just be jeopardising a great future

Ashana everywhere... OP, that's definitely who you're. I wonder if the dude wasn't your fiance's friend, you won't have been here to seek advice.
How many more have you done and gotten away with?

deltateam:


I am disappointed with the ' it happened during the break' nonsense.

Does it mean when you have a misunderstanding with husband you rush to available man?

I tire o. Because of small breakup she don already collect consolation prize from another guy.

Well, she may argue that she thought it was really over between them, as it was only a break (in retrospect) because they are back together now.

This is one reason we should not be quick to console ourselves with sex so early into a breakup.

midnighter:


The nzuzo will hold until the fiance and his friend have one crazy quarrel and the guy wont even know what is coming out of his mouth...

The truth is that its better to tell him now and potentially scatter the wedding than be waiting on tenterhooks for the rest of your life, wondering if your secret will be revealed...

I am just sorry for her gan...this life is crazy...all the way from Ogun state...mehn...

hian, bros will u cancel ur wedding bcuz ur wife ONCE had one time sex with ur friend she never knew ?

If you love your guy, you would have told him what happened during your break up. Ladies and hoeing around

I wil tell him if u don’t.. EWU!!

GeneralShepherd:
I cannot judge as Jesus has not judged me. So I will not call you wayward for sleeping with someone else while you were on a break with your boo.

That being said if I was your Boo, if I find out later that you lied on something this significant , I will never ever ever trust you.

Best option is come clean, you didn't cheat unless you already lied you didn't see someone else during the break

Premarital sex is totally wrong and it displeases God. Be guided.

That being said. Listen to what your fiances friend has to say.

Also know you have to tell your fiance of your sexcapade while on your brief relationship hiatus, no matter what you and his friend agree on.

Moreover, can you prove your fiance has never cheated on you when you were together? Are you certain he didn't have a sexcapade while you were apart?

No matter what happens, one thing is certain- life goes on. Do the right thing, be at peace with God and yourself.

Till I leave this earth, I will keep visiting Nairaland if not for anything to hear raw stories and to know when someone is taking me for a fool or if I become Senator, to know when they are planning to unseat me.


Nairaland is the home of raw secret stories you can stay here and hear story about your life being told by an anonymous user

Let me tell you the truth, if your guy knows about this, he will ditch you at once. And if he marries you, he will not love you in the marriage.
You were a fool for not answering the guy's call. He may be mature enough to shut up

My advice: Do nothing and quit worrying.
Continue ignoring the friend's calls and avoid him completely.

Thank me later.

solve the problem now before going into marriage
because the guy would always be welcome to your home any day, any time and his presence would make you uneasy

and I also go with this guy you can't taste what you friends have tasted if it's for marriage

I thought it was a guy sef
One thing this Indian serials have thought me is to always tell ur patner the truth
If he finds out himself it will be a bigger disaster
Bt if u tell him def he will get angry bt ur sincerity may bring him back
Just tell him the truth dear

Odiegwu, you had sex with and you claim you don't have feelings for him. Who does that? Back to the matter tell your boyfriend what transpired during the time you had a breakup.

Lucyliz:
Pls am really scared and confused rn.I need serious advice.
It happened when I and my bf broke up due to some misunderstandings, we were not engaged then..

.we broke up and didn't contact each other for weeks...then I traveled to Ogun state at my grandma's place for somethings ...I met this guy and we got along well...we go on outings, had fun and eventually had sex..after that it dawned on me and I regret it...I ignored him for some days and later came to my grandma's place to look for me.

...we talked and he told me he want us to start a relationship... I declined and told him I have no feelings for him.

After a week I left Ogun state and came back to Lagos....
Afterwards I got back together with my ex and now we are engaged...we haven't picked a wedding date yet but we planned it to be next year...

Fast forward to last month...my fiance told me he needed to rent an apartment for one of his friends coming to lag to stay permanently...
He got the apartment and the guy came to lag..
I didn't get to meet him until after a week...
I was in a mall with my fiance and he called him telling him he need to go out since he was bored...he came to the mall and behold it was this same guy I met in Ogun state..I knew I was doomed .... I got really scared and nervous at the same time cuz my bf never mentioned or showed me his pics before...

He was only looking at me without saying anything except to my fiance... I was even scared of leaving their midst cuz I was scared he would tell my fiance....
Later that week he called me with a different line and told me it was him....I ended the call immediately on hearing his name....
I can't tell my fiance what happened btw us or he would never forgive me...
The guy has been calling but am not picking his calls am scared of what he might say...

I told my friend abt it and she asked me to have an agreement with the guy never to tell my fiance but am really scared about everything and confused....

But then I remember have seen his face on my fiance phone before but didn't pay attention cuz he was on lowcut there...

Have been acting funny around my fiance especially when the guy is there and he is starting to suspect something is going on...pls help me...
I can't lose my fiance and I don't want the wedding called off...

Pls kindly advice but I can't tell my fiance cuz he often tells me he can't have a taste of what his friends have tasted...

I can't stop thinking and crying...
Pls help me I beg u all

You need to discuss with the friend to know what he wants and how to proceed. But before discussing with him you need to formulate your discussion points so as to be able to drive the final agreement in the way you like.

As it is now you are looking at the bad part of what happened without looking at the good part. Taking such a mindset to any discussion with the friend might make you vulnerable to blackmail from him.

In your discussion with the friend you need to convince him
1.That you are not a wayward person
2. That you love and respect your bf
3. That you had sex with him because you were separated from your bf then and was looking for another relationship.
4. You need to explain to him why you did not continue the relationship with him after the sexual encounter.
5. Explain to him that you are planning to get married to your bf and one mistake should not be enough reason to jeopardize the marriage plans.

Now the good part of what happened that you can focus on are:
1. The sex happened when you were separated from your bf. You can argue that you were looking for a new relationship but stopped when you realized that you can not proceed with him.

2. You did not continue cheating on your bf with the friend after you came back together with your bf. You can argue that you are loyal to your bf when you are in a relationship with him and that you made a mistake in that sex episode.

3. You broke up with the friend immediately you realised that he is not what you wanted, you did not play him along, wasting his time and being wayward. You can use this to argue that you are a straightforward person.

4. You have not been communicating with the friend ever since you got back together with your bf. You can argue that you are not a wayward person and that you love and respect your bf that is why you remained loyal to him.

Your only hope on keeping your marriage plans on track is convincing the friend that you are a good spouse to his friend irrespective of the brief sexual encounter you had with him.

I do not see any wisdom in telling your boyfriend what happened. Most men can not handle that type of information and still go ahead and marry the lady. Only tell him if you want to break off the engagement so that he will know the reason why you are breaking it off.

Your only discussion on the subject should be with the friend, make him realise that you made a mistake when searching for a new relationship and you corrected yourself when you realized that you made a mistake and that mistake should not be used to jeopardize your future and your bf's future.

If he goes ahead to tell your bf of your sexual encounter, note that the marriage might likely be off the table, but explain then to your bf that you are human and you made a mistake that you were not proud of and could not tell him because you were afraid of what his reaction will be. Then learn your lesson and move on with your life.

Note that your discussion with the friend might be recorded, so choose your words wisely.

If you meet the friend physically for the discussion, meet him in a public place, do not go to his house or hotel and do not allow him to come to your house.

You actually don't know wah you want and u re such a loose unserious gal. U had misunderstanding, u travel, u got along wit someone and u open the cookies. Cant u keep urself for sometime? ewww. Meanwhile u cant unsex the sex but u can tag it as SHIT HAPPENS AND IS ONE THE SHIT THAT HAPPENED IN UR LOOSE LIFE and u aint proud of it and seal the gate till u marry. Lubbish

.

Sis, take this simple and short advice.
Call your fiance's friend and ask him what he wants from you, make this audible while your conversation is on RECORD. (download a voice recording app).
Remember, make your stance straight and clear to him, allow him to do more of the talking, if you're to reply make your decision still clear to him. Keep the voice conversation well, this will vindicate you in case he plans blackmailing you in future.

Don't tell your man anything yet, as its not necessary you let him know now, it might baise his mind.

You will play and tell if the need arises.

deltateam:


Its a bad situation. I see blackmail loading. The guy is an idiat for calling her. What for?

I think op should just end the relationship. Most men may forgive but forgetting?

She can't end it just like that na, at least she could tell him and see what happens next.

Maybe the guy is even calling her to tell her not to worry and that he will not tell the fiance anything. Who knows?

Whenever we kick against pre marital sex, they come for your head.

Wetin pre marital sex go cause, even the person wey start am no go fit contain am.

I think you should have been patient and allowed his friend to speak his mind. Perhaps, he is the kind that understands that what happened between both of you is in the past and shouldn't affect the present. Perhaps, he is the brotherly type to your fiance who wouldn't want to destroy his plans and would rather keep mum to see his friend progress and embark on such an important step in his life.

But it's true that such guys are rare but still, you should have been patient with him and hear him out. kindly do that Whenever he calls again.

By the way, what has happened wouldn't have posed a problem if not that your fiance said he wouldn't taste what his friend has tasted. It is because of this that I would advise you to tell him because of what may happen if he finds out in the future.

If not for that choice of his, there probably wouldn't have been a problem. Because the sex happened at a time when you were both no more partners and you had broken up. You never cheated on him with that guy because you were no more with him. And your fiance wouldn't think that you should never have a relationship with anyone else after him. In fact, he himself could have had a fling or short time relationship with another girl before he came back to you.

The point is the sex happened after the break up and you both were no more together and your fiance shouldn't expect that you wouldn't have anything to do with another guy after you had fallen out with him. So this issue wouldn't have been a problem if not for his choice (wouldn't taste what his friends have tasted)

So it's because of that I advise you to tell him to avoid future problems. Make him understand that you never knew the guy was his friend and it was after you had broken up with him that it happened. Explain to him that you have nothing to do with the guy anymore and what happened was just in the past.

believe me, telling him by yourself will go a long way in making him believe you and accept you because it shows you have realized your mistakes and you have no hidden agenda with that guy or anyone.

So that's my advise for you. I feel your pain. that moment when we fall into a huge predicament because of mistake and we so much yearn to be given a second chance to prove ourselves or correct it. I hope you get your second chance.

deltateam:


I am disappointed with the ' it happened during the break' nonsense.

Does it mean when you have a misunderstanding with husband you rush to available man?

I dunno why some people are just like this
Do u want to compare boyfriend with husband?
Is the boyfriend tied to her legally?


Op,i feel you should hear what the friend has to say first.If you're very sure(emphasis on very sure) the friend is mature and decided not to tell your fiance then u guys can just bury it and pretend it didn't happen.
But if otherwise,it's better you come clean and tell your fiance.Its not the end of the world if he decides to breakup,there are still good guys out there.
Cuz if you hide it from your fiance and marry him,who knows when he and the other guy are having a misunderstanding he might just spill the beans,and that one might cause even bigger problems than this

midnighter:


She can't end it just like that na, at least she could tell him and see what happens next.

Maybe the guy is even calling her to tell her not to worry and that he will not tell the fiance anything. Who knows?

Babe I know a bad situation when I see it. I say its a bad situation. We are talking of humans especially guys that like to outdo each other with bragging rights.

The mofo fit misyarn by saying, " See this idiat I bleeped his wife". Once it gets to a third party ear na wetin our English teacher been call 'Open secret' that year.

slimjohn2k5:
All I saw was

No feeling, bleep
No feeling, bleep
No feeling, bleep
No feeling, bleep

That's the definition of a prostitute

Shut it there! You are all quick to throw stones but not even righteous yourselves! Small boys everywhere.



Op, you have to speak with that guy otherwise he might go ahead of you to destroy your reputation in front of your ex and I really hope you were being truthful when you claimed you and your ex broke up if not, if it turned out you cheated on him, then I'm really sorry.

Someone said you cheated while on break... ;DHey pick that guys call,hear what he have to say to you,record it.then decides when to come clean to ur finance and it will always end with iam sorry...

You cannot keep your self for just 2 weeks of break up with your fiancé you went ahead to bleep and now you are caught in the Act.


How can you now keep your self when the guy get you engaged and you had a disagreement in the marriage


You will surely go bleep out


It’s your music my sister


Please sing it

You cannot keep your self for just 2 weeks of break up with your fiancé you went ahead to bleep and now you are caught in the Act.


How can you now keep your self when the guy get you engaged and you had a disagreement in the marriage


You will surely go bleep out


It’s your music my sister


Please sing it


Unreal girl

deltateam:


Babe I know a bad situation when I see it. I say its a bad situation. We are talking of humans especially guys that like to outdo each other with bragging rights.

The mofo fit misyarn by saying, " See this idiat I bleeped his wife". Once it gets to a third party ear na wetin our English teacher been call 'Open secret' that year.

I agree that it will be embarrassing but you're advocating for just giving up without even trying which doesn't make any sense.

Going by your logic, she equally doesn't have anything to lose by coming clean and trying to salvage the relationship.

Even if the man can't cope with her she will still find another person who can

Truth is.
You were not created to love.
The Fact you feel sad is because probably your so called boyfriend is well to do than is friend.
If the reverse were to be the case.. The topic will be, I am in love with my ex boyfriend friend. What should I do.
Live your life knowing you were not created to love.

Sad truth is, you will still run to his arms if situations turn.
It's just normal to feel the way u feeling now.

I dey come