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I Have Messed Up My Life - Romance - Nairaland

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I Have Messed Up My Life by ChildOfDoom: 8:39pm On Nov 25, 2019
as growing adults, we pick up some obnoxious acts which after self-criticism or reprimandment, people retrace their steps. some start up as prostitutes, armed robbers, dubious dealers and so on. then, when life deals a big blow to them, they learn from it.

the same can not be said of my life. my life has been messed up beyond repair. I am now insecure, hyperactive (exhibiting uncontrolled behaviour), scared and hypertensive. there is no way out, i'm. sure.


let me let you in on some habits of mine that has left me wasted. 90 percent of them is linked to my betting addiction....

1 Like 4 Shares

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by ChildOfDoom: 8:47pm On Nov 25, 2019
fear

I live in fear. there is the fear of losing my life anytime I am apprehended by those I owe. there is a permanent fear and insecurity that I may never make it since I am a drop out. my mates who paid attention to their books,are either in N-Power or one white collar job or the other. the country is very hard now. so I see gambling as my only way of making it big. it puts me in more misery at the end of the day though. the fear of going down due to my passive kidney issue is there. no matter how much I eat or jerk off,the fear remains.the fear of not being able to handle money without gambling with it, pushes me at times to make panic and reckless spending.
i have three banks accounts with zero figures as I lack a saving ability.

I act and reason less than a child now due to my insecurities. some times I find myself unknowingly hitting my body on parked vehicles or the wall because I am usually lost in thought

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Nicoddemus(m): 8:59pm On Nov 25, 2019
This stage can be a turning point for your life. Just give up all to God

7 Likes

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Tony142: 9:04pm On Nov 25, 2019
ChildOfDoom:
fear

I live in fear. there is the fear of losing my life anytime I am apprehended by those I owe. there is a permanent fear and insecurity that I may never make it since I am a drop out. my mates who paid attention to their books,are either in N-Power or one white collar job or the other. the country is very hard now. so I see gambling as my only way of making it big. it puts me in more misery at the end of the day though. the fear of going down due to my passive kidney issue is there. no matter how much I eat or jerk off,the fear remains.the fear of not being able to handle money without gambling with it, pushes me at times to make panic and reckless spending.

I act and reason less than a child now due to my insecurities. some times I find myself unknowingly hitting my body on parked vehicles or the wall because I am usually lost in thought




Lemme Introduce u to an online business that that can fetch u money, drop your WhatsApp number
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Ginaz(f): 9:05pm On Nov 25, 2019
Child of doom has turned Nairaland to the book of lamentation. We are waiting for revelation from God concerning his plight.

5 Likes

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by kamat01: 9:07pm On Nov 25, 2019
Tony142:



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Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by ChildOfDoom: 9:10pm On Nov 25, 2019
hypertensive

I heard hypertension can only happen to an aged man. but this is not solely the case. ever since there was a proliferation of bet sites in Nigeria, many youths have taken to it. this has increased their tension and anxieties.

for me, my blood pressure has risen to the extent that just a mere calling of my name can make me shocked. that is what playing virtual soccer or betting on football matches does to someone.

just today, I had 1900 naira I planned using to feed for at least one week. I went to bet9ja to charge my phone with the hope of not getting tempted to play.unfortunately, the screams of victory when people won, was too high to resist and I joined the premier league virtual.

you needed to see how I danced and shook when following the updates. you play over 2.5 but you see over 1.5. you play straight win but see draw. one game kept 'cutting' my ticket till I lost it all.


there are times I even dream of playing bet and one game spoiling it all and I scream. it is that bad. I still remember the sleepless nights when I lost stakes of about 10k and above. some times, I felt suicidal. I hardly put my youthful productive brains to use because my orientation now is messed up.


how to hit it big at all cost makes me dubious, lose focus and uncontrolled
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Forward77(m): 9:15pm On Nov 25, 2019
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You already know what your problem is(70% solved), then start to solve them.

Replace those habits with other ones and you’re good to go.

GOODLUCK!

9 Likes

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by philip0906(m): 9:17pm On Nov 25, 2019
Ginaz:
Child of doom has turned Nairaland to the book of lamentation. We are waiting for revelation from God concerning his plight.

1 Like

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Hollykid: 9:30pm On Nov 25, 2019
Tony142:



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Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by guynextdoor(m): 10:48pm On Nov 25, 2019
Tony142:



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Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by saasala(m): 11:58pm On Nov 25, 2019
My younger brother is in exact state as you. I have tried everything known to man to help him but all to no avail.

Now I dont give a fvck what happens to him anymore. He can commit suicide if he wants.

Get yourself out of that addiction of yours. By all means get your life together.

Blessed are those who are not addicted to anything in life, for they shall be called the successful men of the earth.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by 1Sharon(f): 1:56am On Nov 26, 2019
Ah shit. Here we go again
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by EasternPrince: 2:02am On Nov 26, 2019
1Sharon:
Ah shit. Here we go again


Yeah, shit. You can fix her genes again can't you?

Fake doctor lol
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by KrazzyAndy(m): 2:30am On Nov 26, 2019
Tony142:



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08083005614 how far meself wan learn bro
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Stevengerd(m): 2:51am On Nov 26, 2019
Tony142:



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07080738389
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Lynx001: 2:57am On Nov 26, 2019
Op u said u had 1900 for 1week feeding. Chisos.
rivers state no gt commisioners. Lemme submit ur name 4 screening as commisioner of finance

3 Likes

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by chrisking125(m): 3:09am On Nov 26, 2019
08100366375
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by mumumugu(m): 3:28am On Nov 26, 2019
congratulations. if you win the bet, do you tell us
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Nobody: 6:30am On Nov 26, 2019
It is taking u too long to commit this suicide.
We the burial rice eaters are getting impatient...

U want us to end u from our end here in Edo?

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Nobody: 6:37am On Nov 26, 2019
smh
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by StrikeBack(m): 7:18am On Nov 26, 2019
Child of doom

Turn nairaland to English practice session
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by thunderfirebubu: 7:24am On Nov 26, 2019
Tony142:



Lemme Introduce u to an online business that that can fetch u money, drop your WhatsApp number
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by white3663: 8:08am On Nov 26, 2019
Sad. Get your shit together, ask your friends to get you a job.
The only medicine you need now is self discipline.

Discipline the the triumph of wisdom over desire.
God speed to a stable life bro
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Nobody: 9:29am On Nov 26, 2019
This stupid boy again cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Phil124: 9:32am On Nov 26, 2019
Tony142:



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Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by SherUnlock: 9:42am On Nov 26, 2019
HMU for your cheap Nord VPN.
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by davosea(m): 10:07am On Nov 26, 2019
i cant help but i notice ya pain it run so deep,that leads to sucidal thought etc...there's no way someone would play bet without addictin,because u would always find means to win big.its either you quite betting or you caution your stake,dnt see bet like that is where u can make it in life,u can get even get hand skills u can spend much time dealing with ya work and come back in evening time to rest betting shouldnt be part of you.
Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Kennywills7(m): 10:56am On Nov 26, 2019
Tony142:



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Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Nadison1311(m): 11:06am On Nov 26, 2019
Tony142:



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Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Adegbem01(m): 12:13pm On Nov 26, 2019
ChildOfDoom:
fear

I live in fear. there is the fear of losing my life anytime I am apprehended by those I owe. there is a permanent fear and insecurity that I may never make it since I am a drop out. my mates who paid attention to their books,are either in N-Power or one white collar job or the other. the country is very hard now. so I see gambling as my only way of making it big. it puts me in more misery at the end of the day though. the fear of going down due to my passive kidney issue is there. no matter how much I eat or jerk off,the fear remains.the fear of not being able to handle money without gambling with it, pushes me at times to make panic and reckless spending.
i have three banks accounts with zero figures as I lack a saving ability.

I act and reason less than a child now due to my insecurities. some times I find myself unknowingly hitting my body on parked vehicles or the wall because I am usually lost in thought


You need God like most people here would say, but importantly too. You need to give God what to work with, therapy, speak to or get direction and advice from the few people you lookup to (like elders in the family, pastors and sort). Find love, not necessarily (lover). mature friend, logically unbiased oriented people. cos the fact is this world is a shitty place, so shit happens and when they do they are really very much hard to clean up. in addition don't look for a cure to any addiction you may have (that would be a childish dream) learn how to effectively manage them and make peace with your mistakes and atrocities and try everyday to LIVE a happy life

2 Likes

Re: I Have Messed Up My Life by Depressed101: 2:16pm On Nov 26, 2019
ChildOfDoom:
fear

I live in fear. there is the fear of losing my life anytime I am apprehended by those I owe. there is a permanent fear and insecurity that I may never make it since I am a drop out. my mates who paid attention to their books,are either in N-Power or one white collar job or the other. the country is very hard now. so I see gambling as my only way of making it big. it puts me in more misery at the end of the day though. the fear of going down due to my passive kidney issue is there. no matter how much I eat or jerk off,the fear remains.the fear of not being able to handle money without gambling with it, pushes me at times to make panic and reckless spending.
i have three banks accounts with zero figures as I lack a saving ability.

I act and reason less than a child now due to my insecurities. some times I find myself unknowingly hitting my body on parked vehicles or the wall because I am usually lost in thought


pls don't let anyone bash you.. Thank you for speaking up and expressing your emotions. I want to give you a helping hand.

Yes I was once addicted to betting, not the live one but the virtual one. I think Fg should ban that game, it is highly addictive..
The truth is, you can't stop it with ordinary hand, yes. I know what I am saying, because I tried severally and failed..

Until I cried to God pls don't underestimate God in this issue. Confide in someone who is closer to God who will not criticize you. In my case, it was my mum, who i confided in to pray for me that I don't know what was wrong with me (I explained how i was feeling, trust me bro I know exactly how you are feeling, that feeling of fear, sudden shock, hypertension, sweating profusely for nothing, losing weight etc.. But Note: I didn't tell her I was into gambling, she would be highly disappointed in me).

That's not all, Make a covenant with God, start by asking him for forgiveness, thank him for life and be grateful for what you have (this is the process I followed seriously, I am not religious but I understand the things of the spirit), finish it off by telling him "you promise not to go back to betting (virtual)" that if you did "let him strike you to death". Pls this is not a joking matter this was exactly how I overcame that demon.


Then replace the time you use in gambling with another thing e.g work/church/hobbies /learn something new..

I promise you will come back here to give testimony...


I am typing this from a bet office, currently charging my phone there, infact somebody just won 70k, I don't need to tell you how much the person has lost... My point is even when I am in the den, I no longer feel the urge to play it.

I AM SAVED, YOU CAN BE SAVED TOO.


However I play live bet responsibly and I enjoy it..as a gambler I hope you know the psychological difference between live bet and virtual bet...

Goodluck

4 Likes

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