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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me (45015 Views)
Why Does Anambra Find It Difficult To Marry From Imo State? / Marry From Your Tribe: You Will Be Saved From Lots Of Headache / Not All Parts Of Imo State Is Expensive To Marry From: Enough Is Enough (2) (3) (4)
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Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Lugianostar(m): 7:25am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Hmmmmmm!!! Interesting episode of story story i must say that needed to be scripted and acted upon.But tradition can't be face off due to modernization trends and seeing that you guys are of the same family line is a enough reason to let her go. What you people share is fantasy of a youthful exuberance and not love which is not enough indices for a successful marriage. You 2 have a great future ahead of you and an abominable marriage isn't one of them if you ask me. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Dizzyrascal(m): 7:25am On Feb 22, 2020 |
franchasng: |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Chigold101(m): 7:30am On Feb 22, 2020 |
MorataFC:is this one against God? you |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by priscaoge(f): 7:32am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Parablesonmarble: You are making reference to a Western way of life, this is Africa!!! If you guys must copy Western life and adopt it, then they should legalize Gay. Because it’s happening in the Western World doesn’t mean it should happen in Africa or we should accept it. It’s an abomination in Africa. It’s an abomination in Igbo land. So many things the Westerners do and accept doesn’t seem right to us in Africa. We shouldn’t copy everything we see and neglect or abandon our own Culture. Most times we even copy their Culture e.g is Halloween. We also have our Masquerade Carnival here in Nigeria but most hypocrites condemn and speak ill of it but will join the Western World in celebrating Halloween they don’t even know the history. Ps: I’m not SIR e joor. Even my moniker shows I’m a Lady |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by tonysky(m): 7:33am On Feb 22, 2020 |
My guy pls find a way to leave her.since its ur sister pls try not to hurt her and urself |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by priscaoge(f): 7:40am On Feb 22, 2020 |
ngwababe: My Dear imagine people here giving him advice to marry the girl and damn the “rubbish traditions”. He won’t know what hit him honestly. I have seen someone it happened to. She married her maternal cousin and everyone keep warning them. Nobody attended their wedding in Nassarawa. The marriage ended in tears. They are still seeking for solution to their problem till today. The guy went to Ondo and he was told to go and do some sanctifications or whatever, he refused. Today he’s like a vegetable and the wife is bedridden as well, no child tho. They are begging for the sacrifices or whatever to be done but it’s late according to her cousin. They are not even Igbos. So it’s everywhere unless the State or Community doesn’t have traditions or Cultures. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Goodquestion(m): 7:45am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Tradition is an important factor in marriages, that is why even Churches wait for couples to marry traditionally before the white wedding is done. One of the commandments says honour your father and mother, even Bible further warn parents that they will be answerable on how they brought up their children. You have to be very careful with this matter of marrying her against your parents wish, you are still very young imagine buying your own missery at this early age, God forbid. When you damn consequences, be ready to carry the crosses. I remember telling my dad that I will bring a woman of heart and not them chosen for me. He only adviced me to make the right decision and go for a woman with character and not beauty. Some decisions may be beneficial others may not, but you have to be careful. You know the extent of the lineage your father is talking about, if it has gone past the extended family level that still do things together you may go ahead and marry her. Pray to God and put the village witchcraft away from your life. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Alternator: 7:47am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Mandem12: A si ''onye n'eme enyi, ya mee enyi-onye o ga alunwu'' meaning ''if you want to do boyfriend or girlfriend with person, do it with someone you can marry in case you get stuck'' don't blame Igbo culture, it's there before and you failed to know it, In my village, almost everyone knows the particular village we can't marry and it's not advisable dating someone from there, |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Alternator: 7:48am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Auto200: 7:50am On Feb 22, 2020 |
There are some things that we need to use our heads on. Forget bible quotes bros. This thing be like fresh corper who is about passing out; you will see the person saying that he/she will get job after one month of passing out .lol! And when you tell the person to calm down and face reality next thing you will hear is “my case is different” Hahahah! Ndi church! YOU SHALL NOT PUT THE LORD YOUR GOD IN TEST!!! Thou says the lord Neroiam: |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by frozen70(f): 7:51am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Mandem12: I understand you very well because there are some villages within you area you can't marry from They are migrant from your village and settled to another village They promise not to inter marry because of the blood relationship Though there are certain traditional things done to wave it off But the best option is to cut it off You have to handle it gently with her and if possible find out from her family if its through you guys can't marry so that she too will be aware that its not your fault If eventually it's true, gradually start withdrawing, with time she will understand Love and marriage is sweet with out obstacles 2 Likes |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by priscaoge(f): 7:55am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Neroiam: Oga I take an exception to that last statement, nobody is perishing or lacking any knowledge here. Now back to the topic at hand. Whatever that works for you may not work for another person, always take note of that before making references. You are not from his community or know how dangerous that act is in his place so don’t compare yourself with him. When you give advice based on what is happening in your life, did you take a minute to ponder if that advice when applied to another person’s relationship, will it work for them?? Whatever that rocks your boat may sink their Ship! That you don’t respect or uphold the Sacred traditions of your Town doesn’t mean others should! That you go against them doesn’t mean I should just because yours isn’t effective, that’s a wrong notion. A couple I know way back in Nassarawa are bedridden today because the Lady married her maternal cousin, they are not even Igbos. These things happen, and they are real. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Tabitha03(f): 7:58am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Never you marry against your parent's wish if you don't want to regret your actions in the future. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Airtimex(m): 7:58am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Nobody: 7:59am On Feb 22, 2020 |
nollywood script. So these things dey happen for real life. igbo pple enle o. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Nobody: 8:02am On Feb 22, 2020 |
priscaoge: Their main problem was that they believed it when they were told dt was the cause of their problem. if u don't believe these fetish stuff it cant hurt You. fear is the power behind it, nothing else. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by wamide042(m): 8:03am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Some of you don’t know anything.... for example i am from Opoji in Edo state Eguare to be precise, so if i meet a lady from Eguare, she’s either my sister or cousin because in Eguare we are just one big family from the same bloodline... |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by cenaman(m): 8:08am On Feb 22, 2020 |
72Morale:Which yeye tradition is that? I believe they are from the same clan, that tradition has been abolished in village for over 30years now. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by einsteine(m): 8:09am On Feb 22, 2020 |
kunkelhanspeter: How's somebody that's merely from your village, close family? Jews practice cousin marriage |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Yujin(m): 8:11am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Bratking:This case isn't that of same kith n kin. In majority of Igboland, a community (town) is made up of aggregate villages having same ancestral origin and therefore, bear a singular name to unite them. While one may marry from another village within the same town, girls from his own village are out of bound for him. I've heard of this from a couple of my friends but doesn't exist in my own town. Everyone knows you can't marry from you kith and kin(kindred=umunna). I can marry from my village but surely not from my kindred in my village. There are other kindreds in my village. But some Igbo communities have it that you can't marry from your village as everyone is seeing as a kindred. Now to OP, it seems your community is one of such. Since she's from your village, why not ask her to consult her family and ask them if she's permitted to marry someone she loves from the same village. I expect her to return with the same answer. If that's the case, then they may not support the marriage even if you're willing to damn all consequences leaving you with only one option- eloping. If you're bouyant enough and is willing to risk all for this, then go on with it. As far as I see it, the divergence is so long now to warrant any biological problems. As long as she's not from your umunna, you're good to go. Eventually, you'll be a reference point to open up the way for others in your town. It is our unwillingness to challenge some traditions in Africa that has held us down. We're not evolving at all. You're certainly doing nothing wrong here despite what anyone wants to say. People are just scared not to ruffle the feathers of tradition. I believe that if you have some enlightened persons in your family, they'll support you. As long as she's not from your umunna and not maternally related to you(your mother and grandmother's family) you're good to go. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by cenaman(m): 8:13am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Frankyboy1:I wish the OP will read ur post, and ur advice. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by mabea: 8:14am On Feb 22, 2020 |
priscaoge:Who told you that it incest? I'm Igbo and we marry from the same village. People should look into this tradition abolish it, it is not healthy at all. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by IghravweIG(m): 8:15am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Makavelli25:She is your sister none the less. You better leave her now for your good bro. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by mabea: 8:19am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Stevecovey:Did you just say fetish? Let me tell you the truth, God honours any agreement or oath binding among a people so this one is no difference. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by ONY3KAH(m): 8:21am On Feb 22, 2020 |
priscaoge:hausas marry their cousin... Sarah was related to Abraham... Its just the culture of igbos... I was once in his position, at the end of the day I thought about the consequences on our children was it really worth it.. Cutting them of their roots just for our selfish reasons... How they'll be treated by our ummunna and all, at the end of the day it wasn't worth it.. You don't know why that culture was set that way... |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Yujin(m): 8:23am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Alternator:Your last paragraph talks about a village you can't marry from. If I may ask; why not? Certainly, not because you're blood relations. Some of these traditions have outstayed their relevance. Yes, some of them have. As far as I'm concerned, areas that should be off limits for a man is his umunna and his maternal families(both his mother and grandmother) up to 2 generations. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by victorjoe(m): 8:26am On Feb 22, 2020 |
You must be from one village in Ngor Okpala in Imo state. My course mate that year was also from there. He told me they were not allowed to even date someone from the same village. But mehn the guy bleeped so many of his village "sisters". Fact is, na your culture. If you can go against it and stay away no p. But there will be consequences. So be ready for them. And by consequences I don't mean spiritual. Everybody go shun you is 1. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by HassassinPenhis(m): 8:29am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Mandem12: Bro follow nnaeyes6 advice. Seek to know more about yours and her IKWU. I have asked some elders here and their suggestions tallies with what nnaeyes6 has stated above. Best wishes. |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Sundaycomputer: 8:30am On Feb 22, 2020 |
My marry her |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by priscaoge(f): 8:32am On Feb 22, 2020 |
mabea: Lol! This is funny. That they are from the same village doesn’t mean they won’t marry. They are bloodily related or there’s a big reason why they won’t get married. In my own place, I can marry from my village or even my community gan gan as long as we do not have any blood relation. Coming from the same Village isn’t the only reason why they won’t marry, let the OP spill everything his father and the elders told him and you will have a different view. There’s more to his story! |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by Emperor4tune(m): 8:34am On Feb 22, 2020 |
dont mess up with marital blessing it secures the future & such blessing can only come from ur parent,if they say dont, pls dont !,forget that thing u call love is just a deceptive scale over ur eyes & once it falls off, ur eyes go open & sense will return,that is when ur foolishness will be revealed to u |
Re: I Want To Marry From My Village Against Everyone's Will please help me by seanblaise(m): 8:35am On Feb 22, 2020 |
Mandem12:From your story, it simply means every woman married in your family is from another village. Given the situation, you are not the only one affected because the girls parents won't give their consent to the marriage too. I think it's better you have a real and solid conversation with your family. |
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