Wow, Fyngal is in lag! What part of Lag would that be please?

Iyana-ipaja

Can't figure out whether that's close or far from me, but how long are you staying cuz I'd like to see you.

And about your facebook love, I'd suggest you don't call him o, to avoid being re-dumped . But if you still think you want to take the risk, call and say you are in Lagos for an interview, and he just crossed your mind, try not to sound like you even noticed that he has stopped calling!

Maybe you would get to find out that he's dead or he lost his phone, or he smoked too much weed and ran mad, or something else that would finally put your mind at rest.

Oh no! I wish dat would have been possible but i just came for an interview nd m going back tomorrow. Hopefully, if things work out right, then i'd b in lag for a loooong tym.
P.s: i don't do d water business, so u re welcome to shake hands whenever we do meet. Lol

Lol @breathing. Mehn! Gal u harsh o! U had me ROTFLMEO. M really pissed dat he dumped me but i don't want him to die or run mad. Btw, m certain it's none of d above cos he's still active on fb

Fyngal, see how much you like man. Why are you rushing back tomorrow. Isn't your school on vacation, are you rushing back to corporate-maid-ship (not possible+your guests have left o), it's only your boyfriend that can be drawing you back to benin so soon

Btw, if you get the job now, what's gonna happen when it's time for you to go for service?

[s]ok, fyngal, since he's still hale and hearty, call him and tell him the 'I came to Lagos and you crossed my mind...tale' and no matter how the conversation goes, please refuse to acknowledge that you noticed that he hasn't called, and if he asks for a date, there's your chance to dump him yourself[/s]

Kai! Breathing don finish me. Lol. I love my bf sha but, he's not d reason m rushing back (i hardly even see him despite d fact dat we re in d same town). I don't want to overstay my welcome here cos m actually staying with a gal whom i don't know b4. (she used to b my bf's colleague)

breathing:
I was tempted to ask Alecia the behind-based question o, but I didn't want Teeo to say I'm bringing up the issue again. Infact these days, the first thing I would want to know about any diarylander, is their behind-based status, seeing as we might be having a get-together soon. So that I'd know which outstretched arm to shake and who to hug. But I'm absolutely not open to group hugs. Nah, not at all!

Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you water based people would give me a detailed account of how you do it in the toilet, cuz it's killing my imaginations just thinking about it.

Alecia please answer me nah, in compensation for breaking my heart yesterday:
1. Do you totally pull off all your lower clothing b4 entering the toilet?

2. Do you stand over the toilet, or get into the bath-tub or what, when you want to wash!

3. If you stand over the toilet, do you mop and clean with each toilet visit, or does the water not touch the floor?

4. Do you always mix a little dettol in your water and wash your hands very very very thoroughly after the whole affair?

I know it sounds like I'm dissing now, but I'm not, I'm only killing two birds with one stone. (So that when my roommate to be enters the toilet, I can imagine exactly what's going on there and know what exactly to avoid touching or seating on in future)

Breathing lemme attempt to answer your questions one after the other and the water based people can help out
*laughing*

1. I have this habit of not using public toilets *can never be caught dead in a public toilet* only if I wanna touch up my make-up . So when am at home am mostly without cloth.

2. I wash right in the toilet bowl, I guess we water based people are so use to it, not even a single drop of water on the toilet floor after washing*lol*

3. Check number 2

4. The first thing you will notice, entering my toilet is the anti-bacterial hand wash. I wash my hand even after making up with the anti-bacterial not to take of after pooing.

Hope I was able to satisfy your curiosity*smiles*.

Tgirl yaay my brain tends to function more when am bored, lol
. Thanks for making me feel comfortable in your room.

Thanks for that Alecia, I really love the idea of an anti-bacterial hand wash. I think I'd be shaking your hand when we see, plus it's good to know the water doesn't touch anywhere. Dettol has an anti-bacterial handwash, I implore every water based diarylander to go grab his/her copy now.

^^^ Breathing! Breathing!! Breathing!!! Holy cow, that was tooooo grosssss!
You are 3much.

Good to know am gonna be receiving handshake from breathing.

alecia

breathings handshake is overrated.

but i love it.

you think i have a temper? well lets find out. shall we?

wheres lola? let her come and answer for mtns 4ck up. am really hating the network.

by the way, bright, are you giving me a cold shoulder? i just noticed that you seen to be blanking me these days. is it because the son of man is back, i have no usefulness anymore? well according to samuel 20:20- eye wey dey cry, dey see road.

also you need to start calling him the son of God because to them who believe He have power to be called the sons of God. so, if he believes that you, he will marry, upon all your wahala, then he definitely NEEDS that power.

skillet: alecia

breathings handshake is overrated...

you think i have a temper? well lets find out. shall we?

Hahahah, Skillet, Skillet, Skillet, I have been inviting you time and again to come and shake these hands but you have refused to move your butt from the Niger-delta, I don't know whether you are a militant! Why I am saying all these is that, in a couple of years, you would need a series of application letters and security checks to be able to shake these hands, and even after all that suffering, you might only end up shaking my personal assistant. If you like don't come and shake it now, stay there with your nose in the air and keep repeating blasphemies like breathing's handshake is overrated oga eme gi fiam n'anya!


As for my not calling you. There is also a popular old saying that goes '...the telephone works in both ways ' and another older saying that says 'when a man marries a new wife, he ignores the old one'. I'm not saying I have married a new wife o, since I'm not even a man, or maybe since you are the man, have you married a new wife? Cuz I was the last person who called?

Skillet good to know breathing handshake is overrated,*lol* but come to think of it you also love it*smiles* so lemme hurry , before I end up shaking her P.A *lol*.

How can we find out about your temper?

Alecia.M:
Teeo funny dude, I actually use both, tissue then water, never feel clean with tissue and I can't use only water cos am always with fixed nails, can't image poo getting stuck in my perfectly done nails, reason for the tissue b4 d water *lol*

Ehen! Correct answer Alecia...on the fence so we can all love you....so you be partial water-backsider? but the love of beauty and fake nails has prevented you from water backsiding of recent...issorai...
Shame, if bright and teeo end up together one day, I foresee her gluing fake nails on his hands while he's asleep so when he wakes up, he has a traumatic time waterbacksiding....LOL
As for the dettol disinfectant...mmmm, I gues that means we can all shake your hand...#donigeriansevendogrouphugs?

So Alosiby too doesn't do group hugs *hmmmm*, is not that bad you know, every time I wanna travel or am back home, my siblings always give me this group hug *thats a way of saying we love you and miss you or will miss you
in my family*
Lol

Bright weds Teeo

Tissue backsiders/Bright's guests proceed to booth one.

Water backsiders/Teeo's guests proceed to the extreme extreme right corner of the compound where we have provided you all with necessary amenities like:

1. A pit latrine.
2. 7 big drums of water.
3. Anti-bacterial hand wash.

Rules of engagement include:

All the groom's guests are required only to hug the bride, with the palms kept far far away from contact with her. If you are in this category and you attempt touching the bride, please don't take her reaction personal.

breathing,breathing,breathing. Hehe

*enters the wedding venue....
*goes to seat in booth one....
*looks around..
*at the corner of her eyes sees teeo making a beeline for the water backsiding section...
*sees Alecia.M standing in the middle, looking confused...it appears she had her nails made for this special occassion..
*wonders who will join her in booth one...

LOL....So one married man is chasing Molly? @ Molly, why don't you show him pictures of Beebee and tell him something random like tuface is his father or beebeee's dad is a member of Boko haram and that you felt you should just warn him because they have been trailing his car...I'm sure that will be enough to scare him off...or even tell him that the pastor of your white garment church wants to see him because you will be the next high priestess or something...or that someone did magun for you..

Molly: Fix that weavon, that razor cut. It looks like an upturned chinese basket on my head.



I share the same sentiment....

Buh my fav Naija movie still remains Ego Boyo's violated. I watched it when i was still just a kid, buh i still recall the lines. I'd quote them later. it was that good.

@Breathing...i just discovered your miss.chief diary....I remember watching Violated when i was younger....LOL I think to some extent it was adult rated for us but we didn't care..watched it all the same...I also remember this one movie: Lies of destiny with Franca Brown about mami waters...we had bought a yoruba movie only to get home and find that that was the english movie they "donated" to us...
Ehen, so you are a fan of Nollywood too...interesting...naija movies sef...it is only in them when five years later the woman has the same hairstyle, the girl starts vomitting and she is pregnant, its a village film and the women have manicured nails, the car takes several minutes (in part one and the beginning of part two) just to get out of the compound and when you finish watching part one and part two only to see "this is just the beginning" and then "to God be the glory" with a nasty soundtrack playing in the background.....
I am always sceptical of the movies where everything is going tooo smooth, it means some thing will go wrong, and don't get me started on the special effects....

alosiby92: LOL....So one married man is chasing Molly? @ Molly, why don't you show him pictures of Beebee and tell him something random like tuface is his father or beebeee's dad is a member of Boko haram and that you felt you should just warn him because they have been trailing his car...I'm sure that will be enough to scare him off...or even tell him that the pastor of your white garment church wants to see him because you will be the next high priestess or something...or that someone did magun for you..

Hohoho, Alosiby, you have
to come back to Nigeria real quick cuz you have no idea what the guys are like these days. They have undergone enough mutation since you left, and now they have grown fearless. Stories like this would only get replies like: 'ok, I'm a high priest too, let's hook up' blabla'.

Ewo! so it is that bad? Oginni? Which kind pepper have they started putting in booka peppersoup that these men can deflect all those excuses? LWKMD...High priest ke?

so is it time to diss the men folk again? thats my cue to go home. alosiby, come and lock your door.

by the way, alecia, still waiting your juicy gists. and bright, I AM THAT P.A. YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. so?

@Sixteen: Does the place have a "topa guest house"? that's the guest house I remember staying in when we were small...not sure if its still around...
@Skillet: Instead of you to defend the male folk, you decide to abscond, abi?
@E.W.O: how is the test preparation going?

Alosiby, you sound like you don't want to have children

Anyway, I used to like the idea of adoption a lot, my baby too, only after I've had one or two of my own. But all that changed since I watched 'the orphan'. That movie is just too somehow! I've decided I'd rather run a motherless babies home than bring the orphans into my home.

I do want to have kids of my own...but if its too much of a hassle, I don't see why we can't adopt...why he has to bring home one ekaite that he has impregnated...LOL...I was also traumatised after watching "the orphan"..I think before we bring the child home, they will have to undergo MFM deliverance....
@Alecia, so you go to MFM? *searches for her copy of prayer rain*