This discussion has gone off tangent a little bit.

The topic is not so much about giving/receiving gifts, which is normal in many relationships (friends, families, spouses etc). The issue is about a materialistic breed of girls than now DEMAND gifts and money, or base their relationship decisions on the "highest bidder" syndrome.

You can go round and round forever discussing gifts. Ultimately, the people that like gifts that I still respect don't think too much in monetary terms. They value the thought behind the gift (just the fact that you were thinking about them when you made or bought the gift).

That is different from the MATERIALISTIC discussion that this topic kicked off with.

You deviated from the topic. The question is: where did our Daughters learn materialism? They learn it from their parents ofcourse. They saw all the dealings of the parents and take a cue from dat. Basically they make friends who are from rich homes and mingle with them and see all the way their friends parents amases wealth, and they saw it was life-changing. The parents are not helping matters too. They are busy running after riches instead of teaching the children good morals and the dignity in labour. It is a case of misplaced priority.

Chai. Una get time oh. The first thing to note is that what women say they want is often at variance with what they really want - which makes their arguments, fine words, and rationalisations totally meaningless. All this intellectual ping-pong here is utterly unnecessary because at the end of the day, these mgbekes here consider money as their number one priority and as the number one way of showing you care for them. Forget all the nonsense 'niceties' they may spew here. This is true for at least 92.75% of Nigerian females - regardless of their level of education, family background or social status. At the end of the day, men who spend more money (or evidently have more money) often fare better with naija women than men who don't. Simple.

ronkebp:

BACK TO THE SENDER....I can see that you have been followed by your villagers....go and eat the amala and ewedu that has been prepared for you and stop crying over Ronkebp's post. Oni kan se!!!....go and make more money and stop exposing your hairless and abless chest. I said i will not indulge you and i mean it.

aribisala0:

Not everyone is a villager like you.
just note my name like I told you If you are not interested in my views ignore them
Your wilful unrulines will attract robust reprisal
Greedy grasping ghetto scum.
More money for whom ? I do not need to be biographical other than to say I have ENOUGH something that will never happen for you
Tell your father to go and carry cocaine and your mother to step up her ashewo work so that when they die you can inherit more money or why not kill them for money ritual ? Pest control I'd say.


It is not possible for anyone with your grasping background to think otherwise.

LMAO tory done get K-leg for this thread o!

tyusuffa: You deviated from the topic.

Who deviated from the topic?

stillwater: ^^^^Lolllllllllll!

Anyway I really don't sympathize with Nigerian men, most of them actually deserve these girls.

the chicken and the egg, these girls will not be these girls without those guys.

He hands the dosh she waits on him hand and foot. I say thats fair.

I agree it is partly the men's fault. Many ladies will tell you their future husbands are likely to cheat on them so they might as well do theirs when they are young.

How else do you explain married women keeping their eyes closed when their men are obviously cheating,,, because they have done more than that while they were younger and dont care.... Unfortunate but true, thats what you get when you treat women like crap.

Luckily, i work hard and there's is nothing a man can offer me that i cant buy myself, a rich man is really just a bonus and not a necessity.

I just stumbled on this thread!

Amazing!!!!

To the OP I imagine you constantly shudder seeing that “materialism in relationships” these days has even gone way worse than what you may have seen or been talking about in 2012!

CC: oluite

hmmm

The worst thing about materialistic people isn't really the fact that they're greedy (hypocritical, disingenuous and arrogant), rather it's the fact that they place materialism above spiritualism (principle) - I don't hold brief for religious proponents and practitioners.

Being a lover of good things and having/acquiring the necessary ones within one's capacity and to a reasonable length isn't materialism - minimalism/non-materialism doesn't mean abhorrence of good things.

Materialism is as bad as parasitism - they know no gender - say no to materialism, say no to parasitism.

We were taught that while growing up. The issue isn't believing in those young men. The question is, when they're made (or think they are made) and the other lady is still in the process of being made, will they believe in her? Will they support her to achieve her own dreams too or rub it in her face that she's worthless? I'll teach my daughters not to be materialistic, to be hardworking... but at the same time, I would tell her never to fall for someone who isn't.

oluite:
Growing up as a young girl,it was unheard of to live beyond your pocket money,questions will be asked if your hairdo was too expensive or you have what my mum calls 'unusuals' in your wardrobe or amongst your stuff.Accepting gifts from guys,wahala!!!There must be an acceptable explanation.Talk less of actually asking a guy for money.It was drummed into our ears you must have values,be contented,work hard,be independent et al.

Recently i was so embarrassed when some guys in my office where complaining about todays chics, a guy travelled with his girlfriend for a wedding,he paid all expenses.Suddenly the girlfriend sister and friend appeared in the airport expecting the guy to foot their travel expenses as they claimed to be stranded.These are all working class ladies.Of course no plan to pay back and his girl friend didn't see anything wrong in this arrangement.Another time,a young working class girl ended a relationship majorly because the guy couldn't give her a specific amount for her monthly upkeep. Please she knew exactly what he was earning as well and it wasn't so fantastic?!

I heard and seen many of such from young working women,only to come across a thread here with something similar.Mothers can we discuss this? How did this become the in thing today,where many working single women expect the men in their lives to foot all their bills? Maybe some women are not aware that this is not a good attitude and there should always be balance,boundaries....

these women are a product of what men created

flashing money in gifts and cash was a way to win a girl's heart, its OK if the country's economy is OK where formal employment is very high and minimum wage offer a descent living life --- this was then

now things are tight in every corner and the girls feel entitled, parents turn a blind eye to gifts their daughter receive and boyfriends are being used as replacement of parents responsibility

Internet

And most men these days have the mentality that when money starts flowing women starts coming in

The source of the problem is parents who have failed to provide for their children, and would happily turn a blind eye if those same children come home with things their parents never gave them money for.
Even if you cant provide for more than the basics, question your children when they live above their means with no steady job

Six years old

In addition to my earlier comment,

What does a typical Nigerian man bring to the table apart from Money?