obowunmi: Yes I believe Nigerians have lost their moral standards. But I strongly believe that it is a MYTH promoted by Nollywood and such and many of you have come to believe it as real.

1. Nigeria has more women than men

2. Most men are jobless, unemployed, or underemployed

3. Most men seem to be getting married, if women are so materialistic as you have stated, who is marrying these men?

4. Has to be the same women you call materialistic. Yes, there are Aristos, yes - women enjoy polygamus marriages, relationships , and flings with wealthy men (no matter how they have gotten their money).

You the few is not applicable to all because Poor, jobless, underemployed, and unemployed men are marrying someone.



Happiness in these marriages is another topic, but don't let messages conveyed in Nollywood be applicable to all.

I actually didn't state materialistic,Topic was actually where did our daughters learn this? This attitude and behavior which i further described

"Recently i was so embarrassed when some guys in my office where complaining about todays chics, a guy travelled with his girlfriend for a wedding,he paid all expenses.Suddenly the girlfriend sister and friend appeared in the airport expecting the guy to foot their travel expenses as they claimed to be stranded.These are all working class ladies.Of course no plan to pay back and his girl friend didn't see anything wrong in this arrangement.Another time,a young working class girl ended a relationship majorly because the guy couldn't give her a specific amount for her monthly upkeep. Please she knew exactly what he was earning as well and it wasn't so fantastic?!

I heard and seen many of such from young working women,only to come across a thread here with something similar...."

I do know that these women can afford these things but some reason maybe a wrong value system,greed or some misconception that the man(you are not married to) in a relationship must foot all your bills and those of friends and family.Nowhere did i implied that every young unmarried woman is materialistic.
My reply to warrior
@Warrior,
Many women still marry for love and they are everywhere.Just keep looking.

Basically we are saying the same thing only i want to emphasis on what can be done to correct this mindset of those who believe and feel this attitude is right.This trend is practically the in thing now,almost everywhere you go you see it,it is in our homes,family's,offices...

knotty: Materialism ko, raw material ni.
You aint seen nothing yet.
Better be ready to spend your kidney and liver to maintain a relationship in the days ahead.
The fight to live it up is intense and will not abate anytime soon. So, please, spare us all that sermonizing.
Girls of today are in a league of their own and we men propped them up to that position.
By we men, i mean we fathers, boyfs, wannabe lovers and lovers.
Of all of these mothers are the worst culprits because no one is closer to a daughter than the mother.
So, like mothers like daughters.
Like fathers like sons.
Who wants to drive a 505 now when you can do an AudiA8?
We all are materialistic in this new age and time.
Values? That died with Noah and was washed away by the flood of his time.

We can have our values back,it starts from me and you...all of us

Normally I would have said we the young girls are to blame not our mothers but I have witnessed a case when a woman old enough to be madam CC's mother, told her daughter not to follow all these recharge card boyfriends, she should follow better ones. Her daughter has a great bf, the kind that spoils her, at times she wakes up to breakfast in bed, he isn't a caveman, his only snag is that he isn't as financially stable as she wants him to be, so she has decided to give him a deadline, either make money in 2 years or I leave you. One year has passed the guy is still struggling, she is about to leave him for a richer guy. In this case she is only listening to her mother's advice.

It is true women of nowadays are highly materalistic, but i blame it on the men, most men want to hangout with the big gals in town with expensive taste and current in fashion, a simple, humble, modest gal is simply 'below' thier level

Okija_juju:
ARGH!!! WHO TO BLAME!!!

Okay!! wait!! Let me speak as an elder;

2. Blame Parents.. I remember the one time I was out in the club and met this young pretty girl who was dressed in less than half yard of fabric. What stunned me was at the end, I dropped her off at her daddy's house by 3 a.m. I could only imagine what the parents were looking at when they let their daughter leave the house dressed like that. Also, its a parents responsibility to impart certain morals into their wards. It goes beyond 'Be a good girl' talk & taking her to church every sunday. Today, most girls cant cook. She knows the latest line of shoes by Chris Loboutin, she can tell the difference between a knock off Prada bag and an Original from 30 feet away, but she cant cook anything that does come in a tin or can be microwaved. This, is the fault of the mothers and fathers. Train up a child in the way they should go and when they grow, they shall not depart from it. Like someone said to me once, what you dont teach your kid, someone else will.

Oga u call urself an elder, and you're carousing with people's daugters at clubs

@OP, it's not a woman's thing, it's a nigerian thing. it is like a reaction to past actions. in the past, women were taught to build lives wit their men(surulere) and not look for made men (bolanle or olorunsogo). however, we ve seen and heard wat surulere husbands can do; when they jam money, they suddenly remember that their wives are 'old school' and want to marry trophy wives in some cases young enough to be their children! hence, parents esp mothers want to secure comfortable homes for their gals especially as most of them don't believe in love. as someone would say, 'he hates u he stil buys a car for you', 'hé hates you, you stil go on trips abroad' etc if we say such a woman would be unhappy, d question is 'how many women married to poor men they ''love'' are happy?' as for men, how many would leave a classic chic wit designer bag and go for a humble lookin chic? as many of them want fellow poor men as friends? also the media doesn't help at all! we no longer have heroes and heroines, we only have celebrities. moral uprightness and excellence is no longer celebrated, it is now all about glamour and glitz. we need to be ultra beautiful and ultra rich b4 we are happy or even find 'love'! we are all to blame for this and we need to re trace our steps, shine in our little corners and before we know it, we begin to change our world.

steph7: Normally I would have said we the young girls are to blame not our mothers but I have witnessed a case when a woman old enough to be madam CC's mother, told her daughter not to follow all these recharge card boyfriends, she should follow better ones. Her daughter has a great bf, the kind that spoils her, at times she wakes up to breakfast in bed, he isn't a caveman, his only snag is that he isn't as financially stable as she wants him to be, so she has decided to give him a deadline, either make money in 2 years or I leave you. One year has passed the guy is still struggling, she is about to leave him for a richer guy. In this case she is only listening to her mother's advice.

sorry didn't finish my post my flight was about taking off, few weeks ago I was on admission in the hospital, when one guy that had been asking me out and trying to give me money for ages came to visit me, shortly after he left, his PA gave me 800k from him and refused to collect it back. that night I didn't sleep as soon as any nurse enters my room I'll jump up cos I wanted to return the money to the man , I didn't want anyone stealing the money. As soon as my mum came to c me I told her what happened and gave her the money to keep for me till I got better. I won't lie, I was tempted to keep it, maybe buy those Christain louboutin shoes christiana aguilera wore in burlesque. As soon as I got better my mother personally ensured I returned the money. So our parents have a part to play in all this.

To a large extent we are all materialistic.I am to some degree.Guess what? I go out and work very hard to satisfy my materialism.

WORK!! that is my solution. No crime,no grime. So if women do the same that is fine remember MADONNA "material girl".
There are many Nigerian women making it in paid jobs or trading and some are materialistic but they pay their way
For guys it is a problem when you turn to crime and for ladies to Ashewo. I still have more respect for Ashewo than those lazy AS5 bitches who don't want to put in the PUS5Y MILEAGE and expect all the good things from one maga all in the name of love.
To them I say do as your mates do and quit the pretence.

Anyway there are many Nigerian men who pay for love and this is widely known even to other African women so we need to check ourselves.

aribisala0: To a large extent we are all materialistic.I am to some degree.Guess what? I go out and work very hard to satisfy my materialism.

WORK!! that is my solution. No crime,no grime. So if women do the same that is fine remember MADONNA "material girl".
There are many Nigerian women making it in paid jobs or trading and some are materialistic but they pay their way
For guys it is a problem when you turn to crime and for ladies to Ashewo. I still have more respect for Ashewo than those lazy AS5 bitches who don't want to put in the PUS5Y MILEAGE and expect all the good things from one maga all in the name of love.
To them I say do as your mates do and quit the pretence.

Anyway there are many Nigerian men who pay for love and this is widely known even to other African women so we need to check ourselves.

I cannae shout!

I think there are varying degrees of this problem. There are the downright materialistic girls who want men to spend big money on them for designer gear etc.

There are also those who may not necessarily be too materialistic, but they do expext that a guy that's interested in them should take over their upkeep, e.g. paying for salon sessions etc.

Me, I have a daughter and my wife and I will educate and train her to the best of our abilities. We will be very disappointed if she goes around expecting others to pay her way after all that.

'most girls can't cook'?

you people make me sick. I just vomited all over my laptop. eurgh!

YET, DIS GIRLS WUD B MODAZ.....I WONDER HW DEY'LL TRAIN DIA KIDS

As 4 me, I dnt prove to any chick again say I get money. Evn if I get I dy always bone ni o. Jst to take her out once or twice a month, buy her sometin nice wen she least expects (bdays n oda special days excluded), recharge her phone wen I want, call her evryday n send her small money ONLY if she's broke.
If I c say she no fit cope, I U-Turn. N bsyds , I dnt go out wit any lady dat demands anytin 4rm me. We go out n I ask wat she wants (wen I don size wer I fit afford at dat point in tim).

naijababe:

I cannae shout!

are you Scottish

aribisala0:
are you Scottish

Yes now, rocking granite city

naijababe:

Yes now, rocking granite city

Oh Aberdeen.
I spent most of Last year in Scotland and learnt many of their words. Quite funny really. It really is a different country from England

Aye, t'is true.

Efemena_xy: Aye, t'is true.

lol


those I remember
Most common

Nay Bother = no problem

My wains = my kids
Everything is "WEE"

Aye = yes
nay = no
I have nay money
then the rrrrr sound

FORM is forrrrrrrrrrrrrm

I don't ken = I don't know

aribisala0:
lol


those I remember
Most common

Nay Bother = no problem

My wains = my kids
Everything is "WEE"

Aye = yes
nay = no
I have nay money
then the rrrrr sound

FORM is forrrrrrrrrrrrrm

I don't ken = I don't know

I daennae ken

naijababe:

I daennae ken

nice one. Anyone i won't derail the thread further,much as I would love to chat about Scotland.maybe another time.

So back on topic...Money is good and the sweetest is that which you make for yourself.That is what we must teach our little girls.

Those older ones are set in their ways so no amount of criticism/preaching will change anything.

I asked my friend yesterday (a banker) Guy why ain't you married. He said na ashewo dey Abuja. Very materialistic set of girls. Just like truth don get accident for Naija. Dem don kidnap morals and values from our society.

jay bee: It's just the damn Nigerian way
Greed Greed Greed
Our men doing all sort to get the money
Our women turning the blind eye to how the money was gotten all because of the thirst for good things life has to offer.

Armed robbery is yet to be synonymous with Nigerian females so logic tells me that if the men stop feeding these obvious thirst then may be just maybe our women will learn to understand and appreciate the benefits of hard work

My point exactly!!
Let the men stop their freelance giving just because they want to hit that and lets see if the women won't fend for themselves
Yet I got someone saying that it is impossible cos the trend will always be for some men to hit that hence they don't mind spending
We still have a long way to go indeed.

y me:
My point exactly!!
[b]Let the men stop their freelance giving just because they want to hit that [/b]and lets see if the women won't fend for themselves
Yet I got someone saying that it is impossible cos the trend will always be for some men to hit that hence they don't mind spending
We still have a long way to go indeed.

Stop ke. I hate soap and vaseline ni ma. Na I'm be say e go teyy before you smash oo

Ola one:

Stop ke. I hate soap and vaseline ni ma. Na I'm be say e go teyy before you smash oo

Lol . . . Then u'all should suck it in and stop complaining
Btw you don't need soap and vaseline no more there is a new human doll

y me:
My point exactly!!
Let the men stop their freelance giving just because they want to hit that and lets see if the women won't fend for themselves
Yet I got someone saying that it is impossible cos the trend will always be for some men to hit that hence they don't mind spending
We still have a long way to go indeed.

if they stop the freelance giving then express fucking would stop.

coogar:

if they stop the freelance giving then express fucking would stop.

Who get's the blame then?
If we want express fucking then we have no business complaining about feeding their habit. Very simple ya know......

jay bee:
Who get's the blame then?
If we want express fucking then we have no business complaining about feeding their habit. Very simple ya know......

it's exciting to watch a mad man display on the street, nobody wants one as a child.
if girls wanna shag, let them shag.

dayokanu:

When a man dates an oil worker thinking she is financially responsible yet the leeching nature of Naija females come out again asking money for weaves and salon

A man who shared vows of for better for worse, yet the wife is asking if the husband deserve to eat.

FACT is majority of naija girls are leeches whose hopes of making it in life is attached to marrying a rich guy

Yes...Dayo, it will always be like that because "men" caused it. you will pay for the hair, buy her BB porsche, whether you like it or not. men started it, what are they complaining for? a guy on the 'ROMANCE SECTION" talked about how another guy who is just wooing his girlfriend bought her a car for her birthday. so what will you say to that?, do you know how some of these guys spoil their girlfriends?, who wouldn't want to be spoilt or pampered?. please stop complaining and just marry your akata or oyinbo jejely that will not be leeches... boys/men with the dough to throw around ain't complaining.

ronkebp:

Yes...Dayo, it will always be like that because "men" caused it. you will pay for the hair, buy her BB porsche, whether you like it or not. men started it, what are they complaining for? a guy on the 'ROMANCE SECTION" talked about how another guy who is just wooing his girlfriend bought her a car for her birthday. so what will you say to that?, do you know how some of these guys spoil their girlfriends?, who wouldn't want to be spoilt or pampered?. please stop complaining and just marry your akata or oyinbo jejely that will not be leeches... boys/men with the dough to throw around ain't complaining.

their wives/spouses are complaining though....

coogar:

their wives/spouses are complaining though....

Well good for them. that is what happens when you marry the men because of the money they have to "throw around" in the first place, they would always extend the charity work to others "in need".

ronkebp:

Well good for them. that is what happens when you marry the men because of the money they have to "throw around" in the first place, they would always extend the charity work to others "in need".

i like materialistic babes though. it makes it easier for some of us who are very busy with our jobs.
it's almost like hiring a hooker without a fixed price....no long stories, no hiccups.

I don't complain about materialistic women everyone is useful,from the midwife to the gravedigger.



Such women serve a useful purpose but it is a commercial one and so every one tries to get a good deal or bargain.
The main advabtage over outright pros is that you get to do on credit which is useful for times of cash flow difficulties

In my little experience Naija babes are generally NOT value for money if you live abroad. High maintenance and they cannot do,not really,. If you live in Naija how for do? Negotiate a good deal for yourself and never stop looking for the SALE. There are a few bargains out there