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My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook - Food (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by seunajia: 4:07am On Sep 11, 2012
kandiikane: Wait ooo! Before we go on to anyother thing:

I just noticed you saying 9 to 2 is ideal for a woman? Can you seriously see your mentally here? What about you as a father? Is it not your sp£rm which fathered the children? Why is it only the woman's responsibility to bring up the children correctly?

I will be back to break down that your long azz post.

Scratch 9-2. I meant an early time. Ko to pa mi tongue
Of course it is. But because society encourages women to take less time demanding jobs, she spends more time with the children. More so, her nature/physiology is perfect for the task. If you look back well I'm sure you'll recall you spent more time with mum than dad and she practically brought you up single handedly. That's the strength of a woman. Dad should only come in once a while.

Kandi grin
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by seunajia: 4:42am On Sep 11, 2012
Need to grab some sleep. She ya in the morning. Don't abuse me too much o. Caveman is enough o grin

If I hear am for your mouth?! angry

OluwaKandi grin
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Demdem(m): 5:10am On Sep 11, 2012
sanb: wow...you're very harsh...

But pure undiluted truth.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by kandiikane(m): 5:12am On Sep 11, 2012
seunajia: I'm LMAOing here grin

Kandi and Toyin grin

Ladies, we can argue this till end time.
I didn't say exclusively that wives not cooking for their spouses makes their children derelicts. Instead I said abandoning gender roles (both male and female roles) entirely does.

I say that is bullshyt! 'Gender roles' is nothing but a societal construction in which to oppress women. Two gay men or women can bring up great children if not better than someone from the so-called 'gender role' family.


What are you driving at. That is an obvious aberration Kandi.

You are dictating and trying to tell me what women should be and shouldn't be. Who are you? Oh, yes! A man. That's how gender roles were constructed in the first place. Men!

Roles don't need to be forced. They are like norms, you're immediately seen as an outcast if you go against them and appropriate sanctions applied.
Goodluck with being in the kitchen when you want though smiley But a responsible woman understands her role and knows that taking care of her spouse's well-being including feeding him is primary and is not a duty to be exclusively left to maids. You're his wife and mother, behave as such.

See, what I mean? You are dictating to me again what I should be doing. My role is to take care of my spouse? Is that what I was born to do? To look after a man? Erm, what about his role? Explain to me, if my role is to take care of him what is his role?
Norms, well you are seeing aren't you? The so-called 'norms' of what a women should be are being broken because women feel and know who and what they are as individuals not classed in roles.

It's foreign to an extent even in the west. It gained prominence in America in the 60s. Women had led happy lives and had been successful before this time. Taking up roles just to prove: "what a woman can do..." is BS. It's not a competition dammit!

Now, this is what you call bullshyt to the highest level. You think if women were absolutely happy with how they were, we would have the suffragettes or the feminist movement? So, women were happy being told what they could be, where they could work, told all they are best at is sitting at home giving birth every year, no contraception, no voting, being seen as evil for mastur..bating or having an orgaasms, etc?

Are you serious?

The problem stems from here, women abandoning their roles (which cannot be over emphasised) for careers leave gaps in the home! It's ☺ķªª¥ for women to work, no doubt, but when they have to juggle or abandon entirely their roles in the home, then you'll have problems.
Pros; increased income, short-lived sense of pseudo-liberation (you were never a slave now )
Cons; decreased family time, exposure to undue stress, aggressiveness, less empathetic/sympathetic women, s.exual promiscuity and ultimately comprise of family values.

I'm sorry but which case study did you do to come up with all of this?
Again you list all of this where is the husband? Where is the man? Sleeping?

Come off this, majority of women who may be working more than normal are those without the man there helping or those breaking their necks to make sure their children have the best in life. Many of these parents will be single parents. Husbands or partners ran away because they do not want to step up to the plate and do anything because to them, the women should be doing everything.


Why would you wanna take up so much? Money? Do you prefer money to your family's well-being? Would you rather be rich than have responsible children? Absentee parents don't raise responsible children!
What in God's name are you on about? Again, which case study did you do which shows that a mother who works completely abandons her children? Again, I ask where is the father in all of this? What is he doing?


The lack of culinary skills is usually a pointer to major flaws in upbringing. If a woman/man doesn't know how to cook, an example is the OP's gf, then you should ask what she/he did with her/his youth.
Right, so who are we talking about here man or woman? He/she?

I guess to you a woman should be spending her youth in the kitchen right?


grin shocked
This is just an avenue for "mama put", house-maids and other women to destroy your relationship. Take your spouses for granted and other people would declare them wanted! It's your choice wink

Again with these cliques and stereotypes! How many househelps have you seen or met who have taken the husbands away from the wives?

Touche! There is no big deal in your spouse helping himself in your absence. Good parents bring-up their children to be responsible people who are not self-centred and egocentric. Good parents teach both of the sexes household chores. I cook well today kudos to this kind of upbringing --home training.
What about in my presence. He can't cook in my presence? Why?


I'm tired of repeating myself. Your mum was able to bring you and your siblings up because she was trained to do so. If she was trained to "take care of herself" we probably won't be having this discussion!
If a mum can train her children to be in-turn good mums and dads, she has achieved the ultimate-- "Surviving in life"
Don't twist things. There is a difference. The women who are taught how to cook for husbands they are yet to see are the ones who tend to have limited capabilities. They are the ones who see everything in black and white. They do not not see what they can achieve as individuals instead they see themselves as women with 'gender roles'. They are the sames ones who will come to nairaland crying that they are yet to have husbands because their mother told them they will have one by so, so and so time even learning to cook for him. When I made that comment about learning for yourself first, it's more about the mentality instilled in a child rather than the cooking.

These women are brought up with words like "as a woman, you should do this for the man, you should act like this for the man because he's a man." This is how they allow men to useless them anyhow and treat them anyhow because of the mentality they were brought up with. The same gender roles which allow the man to marry more than 2 wives because with gender roles, a man is superior and the woman is inferior.

There is no big deal:
1. When your spouse helps with household chores. Some roles should be subject to negotiation between individuals.
2. When he cooks for himself in your absence.
3. When he cooks because you're tired or indisposed.
Again, I ask what is wrong with the man cooking in my presence?
There should be no 'when' in household chores. Unless, there is a maid to do them for both to lay like kings without doing anything then the household chores should be done by both. Helping eachother. Each doing something to help keep the house intact, not having the husband or partner sleeping his lazy azz off whilst the woman slaves when it could be made quicker if both of them join forces to maintain the household both can rest.

A case where the woman has a 9-2, instead of the more rigorous 9-5 or higher is ideal. She'll have enough time to see, guide, correct and bring-up her kids properly. But in a case when dad and mum both leave at 6am and return 11pm/12 and their wards are left in the care of house-maids or neighbours. Kandi? grin

I rest my case! [/quote]


In which reality do we have both partners working 18 or so hours a day? Come on, na! Unless both are doing the exact same job then it's rare.
Even if that's the case, forget the kids in this matter because it's unlikely. which of them will even have the time to even eat at that time of the day after a longazz day at work? All they'll be thinking about is their bed.


Realistically, either the both come home around the same time or one comes earlier and this could be either the man or woman. Now, if he's hungry are you going to tell him to wait for the woman to come play her so-called gender role?

Plus, are you going to expect her to cook a meal everyday after work? If so? What's the point of the fridge?
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by kandiikane(m): 5:15am On Sep 11, 2012
seunajia:

Scratch 9-2. I meant an early time. Ko to pa mi tongue
Of course it is. But because society encourages women to take less time demanding jobs, she spends more time with the children. More so, her nature/physiology is perfect for the task. If you look back well I'm sure you'll recall you spent more time with mum than dad and she practically brought you up single handedly. That's the strength of a woman. Dad should only come in once a while.

Kandi grin

Who are you, jor. You seem to know me more than I first thought.

Abegi, it's the same uselessness I was talking about. A man leaving his responsibilities because he feels like the woman should be the one doing everything, including bringing up the children.

It takes two to tango, my friend.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Demdem(m): 5:19am On Sep 11, 2012
samkoro:

What u have for her now is not the real love of married life.You are gambling with the real and practical things that will keep ur marriage.Ur fiancee not knowing how to cook means that she was not responsible and her parents were not responsible enough to bring up their daughter in a homely and family way that will prepare her for the real challenges of marriage.Marriage is never a boyfriend ,girlfriend thing.Kids are comming.

Its far more than taking lessons on cooking.That's rubbish.The family/motherly heritage and essense that comes with growing up in her mothers kitchen is lost.Therefore motherliness is lost.Your fiancee is not fit to be a mother.

You may be blind and hence dwell on her ability to cook alone.The truth is that it says a lot about her in several ways and in several things

*applause*
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by safeLove(f): 6:52am On Sep 11, 2012
Hmm!!
"Abroad" had indeed coagulated the thinking cavity of a lot of Nigerians. @OP,my brother there's nothing much you can do at this moment since she's your fiancee. I am not part of the people who feel that cooking/catering for the family isn't the duty of the wife. I strongly believe every woman who desires to raise kids must learn to cook.
That said,you could get one "ekaette" to handle that aspect when you guys get married,maybe madam will see reasons to intensify her cooking classes. OR you could get an "Okon" and to do wonders in your kitchen. Better still,you can decide to wear the apron and hit the kitchen whenever hunger strikes. The choice is yours.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by pweeryambre: 6:53am On Sep 11, 2012
I wouldnt marry a woman just because she knows how to cook, and i wouldnt dismiss a good woman just because she lacks currinaly abilities either. I belive dia r stronger things dat can make or destroy a marriage,such as; infidelity, wicked spouse, verbally abusive spouse, dirtiness, 2much gossip, being disrepectful and so on. Now dis ones r usually inborn in a persons character and is hard to change. You dont hav a case if ur woman passes all dis test and its just in d kitchen dat she failed which can still be remedied, just get her cook book or get a private tutor to teach and practicalize wit her, i bet u in less than 2weeks she wil bcom an italian cheff.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Nobody: 7:56am On Sep 11, 2012
ashmanpolo:


U dey craze, U want to be cooking for your wife abi? Ur talking like someone dat just smoked NEPA pole ϑis morning
nepa pole-me neva hear ds 1 b4 o...lol
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Nobody: 8:18am On Sep 11, 2012
Dnt mynd smple ere o.drz mre 2 marriage dan cookn,if u lv ha encourage ha.mst wmen didnt knw b4 dy got htchd.stay wv ha smtyms n d ktchn.i fl she is jus scard of nt doin it rght.as lng as she cn be assurd dat its nt a do or die thng she wuld pk up.if u fl u lv ha nd u 2 r .compatible.dnt leav ha cs of dat.so u no go mari lion wey ft cook.check ha if she has d enthusiasm 2.if she does she wl.b patient.if u cnt b den dnt proceed.so u dnt insult ha,if nt na divorce.tl ha mum 2 teach ha,dnt trade ur lv 4 sm soup or peppersoup.esau did c wat hpnd.rome wasnt built in a day bt d zeal was dr,
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Nobody: 8:25am On Sep 11, 2012
Samkoro wat do u knw is mtherhood.mtchew...na ktchn dm dy learn am .abi u neva c italian chef wey neva mari,grls dnt learn2 b motherz ,it cms wthn.God gven in evry lady so u cnt derobe ha of it cs of smthn 2 b acquird on earth.aftall there r men who r poor,wmen stl mari dm ,doh dy av nt met d standard cs dats nt d mst impo.dy cn get rich lata so cn she.bt u cnt be virtous afta as a wman.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by seunfly: 8:26am On Sep 11, 2012
Shaw007: And this Ppl advising him 2 do the cooking. . .this is Africa not austria abeg!! How can a a man be in d kitchen making African chop while d wife sits at d parlour watching hannah montanna!!

So the wife wud be like;"darling is the food ready yet?"

husband-i'm sorry hOney,just a minute

NXT day
wife-darling i'm hungry go make sometin for me
Him-alright dear...

I mean come'on really
wwoooow!! What a scene, well i hope it dos'nt get to that. But you can teach her for 2 or 3 month, cooking is not dat difficult and watch her for sometimes if she does not improve, my friend run fast because man's stomac is d way to his heart. I don't think any girl who does know how to cook will know how to do any domestic work cos cooking is what make ladies happy most out of all domestic work.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by seunajia: 9:18am On Sep 11, 2012
I say that is bullshyt! 'Gender roles' is nothing but a societal construction in which to oppress women. Two gay men or women can bring up great children if not better than someone from the so-called 'gender role' family...Now, this is what you call bullshyt to the highest level. You think if women were absolutely happy with how they were, we would have the suffragettes or the feminist movement? So, women were happy being told what they could be, where they could work, told all they are best at is sitting at home giving birth every year, no contraception, no voting, being seen as evil for mastur..bating or having an orgaasms, etc?

Are you serious?

Oppress women? shocked The current lifestyle that you feminists are pushing is even more oppressive! You guys now take up roles that make it difficult to live well due to the pressures on both fronts.
If women were really "suffering" as you feminists want us to believe, how come we had women leaders as: The Queen in England, Nerfertiti and Cleopatra of Egypt? Great influential ones as Aisha(RA) Wife of the Prophet Muhammed(SAW), Mary-Macdarlene, Mother Theresa, Mary Slessor? etc. And ordinary people who were great Doctors, teachers, Novelist, etc?

Stop planting hate and spreading falsehood, Stop teaching our daughters against us. Everything is not a competition, no one is witch-hunting you.
The oppression is just a figment of your imagination. No one has said women should remain entirely at home or not vote and ish. Even the traditional African women were traders and not confined to the house. They just had flexible schedules which allowed them be good, present mothers. Of course the society suffers for it! We're actually seeing/feeling such effects right now only if you have the discerning eye.

Again with these cliques and stereotypes! How many househelps have you seen or met who have taken the husbands away from the wives? 

Again you know this is not true. Stop deceiving yourselves. The effects of your feminist views have caused enough havoc already. All you just want to prove: "What a man can do?" Is that it? Is that all?

I have tackled the rest of your quotes earlier. You are just grabbing on straws!

*Kandi love? Can I have a cup of coffee, please?* grin
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Nobody: 9:26am On Sep 11, 2012
hahaha!!! common mehn it might be the truth but you still need to calm down when it comes to women issues which includes cooking....
Demdem:

But pure undiluted truth.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by sexyverah(f): 10:06am On Sep 11, 2012
Toktee: You are a fool,na your papa the cook for your mother,laziner?

u r an E-Idiot stands for Electronice idiot.. tell me wat happened to freedom of speech? was i talking to u? it takes a fool to knw a fool.. mtcheeeeeew
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by sexyverah(f): 10:11am On Sep 11, 2012
Kirinwa:

Screw you bitch!

what are you on coke or crack? tell me wat happened to freedom of speech? was my comment directed to u? silly pest
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by sexyverah(f): 10:15am On Sep 11, 2012
ashmanpolo:


Olodo. Ur man go also wash ur kpata N pinafore

village boi! dont u knw hw to read and understand? wat as cooking gat to do wit washin? dumbass
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by blaise26abj(m): 10:31am On Sep 11, 2012
Atleast she is trying to cook. It is obvious she wants to learn. Just keep encouraging her. And you don't have to eat everything she cooks until she gets it right. Just an advice.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by livingstoneony(m): 10:41am On Sep 11, 2012
kandiikane:

Stop chatting shyt and fooling yourself with that clique.

We all know the fastest way to a man's heart is the thing between the woman's legs.
Not true... angry
kandiikane:

Stop chatting shyt and fooling yourself with that clique.

We all know the fastest way to a man's heart is the thing between the woman's legs.
Not true...
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by KINGwax(m): 10:46am On Sep 11, 2012
obowunmi: Cook with her ... Abeg there are more important things in life.
than a woman knwin how to do a decent meal? Plsssssss..you're a waste if you're d same. Regardless of your level of qualification!
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Demdem(m): 10:46am On Sep 11, 2012
sanb: hahaha!!! common mehn it might be the truth but you still need to calm down when it comes to women issues which includes cooking....

u are contradicting ursef. u admitted its the truth but still went ahead to ask me to calm them about women issues. WTH. Its not a debatable fact that Men should provide for their families adequately, why should this noble reponsibility of wives at home be debated?
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Nobody: 11:05am On Sep 11, 2012
.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by omotola1(m): 11:08am On Sep 11, 2012
dota: Dnt mynd smple ere o.drz mre 2 marriage dan cookn,if u lv ha encourage ha.mst wmen didnt knw b4 dy got htchd.stay wv ha smtyms n d ktchn.i fl she is jus scard of nt doin it rght.as lng as she cn be assurd dat its nt a do or die thng she wuld pk up.if u fl u lv ha nd u 2 r .compatible.dnt leav ha cs of dat.so u no go mari lion wey ft cook.check ha if she has d enthusiasm 2.if she does she wl.b patient.if u cnt b den dnt proceed.so u dnt insult ha,if nt na divorce.tl ha mum 2 teach ha,dnt trade ur lv 4 sm soup or peppersoup.esau did c wat hpnd.rome wasnt built in a day bt d zeal was dr,
See how u dey abbreviate o...
Gosh! You go school at all so?
It is evident dat u are lazy in real life.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by goofie: 11:08am On Sep 11, 2012
but seriously, cooking is not rocket science.i dont think its a big deal to put anything together.as long as u have at d back of ur mind the amount of time each item takes to cook and u have a tongue to taste.., u r good.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by livingstoneony(m): 11:10am On Sep 11, 2012
kandiikane:
And why would I be kidding? Are you part of the stone age men too.

spare me dis stone age horse -shit.....career women also need to take care of their family @ least and I think cooking is a basic part of dat even if its just during d weekend,so been a career woman is not an excuse...#career woman my nuts*yimu*
angry
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by goofie: 11:21am On Sep 11, 2012
livingstoneony: spare me dis stone age horse -shit.....career women also need to take care of their family @ least and I think cooking is a basic part of dat even if its just during d weekend,so been a career woman is not an excuse...#career woman my nuts*yimu*
angry

d househelp becomes the saviour
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Demdem(m): 11:22am On Sep 11, 2012
sanb: oh someone is getting angry....ain't going to debate on this issue with you mehn and i say it again calm down with women issues.....

angry for what? na me get palaver God forbid such a predicament.
U are talking as if i dont also have women in my life. I have a wife, sisiters, aunts, inlaws etc that are women. Dont complicate what ought not to be and stop creating unneccesary excuses
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Nobody: 11:43am On Sep 11, 2012
.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Demdem(m): 11:49am On Sep 11, 2012
sanb: note.. ain't creating unneccesary excuses!!!

Good, so please stop the below

sanb: hahaha!!! common mehn it might be the truth but you still need to calm down when it comes to women issues which includes cooking....
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Nobody: 11:57am On Sep 11, 2012
LOL very funny... wink
Demdem:

Good, so please stop the below

Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Babaken(m): 12:33pm On Sep 11, 2012
[quote author=sexyverah]if him fiancee nor fit cook make him cook by himself na.. abi him cripple? shocked my idea is very simple if she don't no how to cook i will help her, let her come and stay with me in my apartment let me teach her how to cook and other things she don't no all 4 free.
Re: My Fiancee Doesn't Know How To Cook by Nobody: 12:36pm On Sep 11, 2012
@Op: Travel to Akwa-Ibom...hire Ekaette or Imaobong as a Chef

No be person go tell ur woman, she go "lan" by force

It worked for me...

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