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Man Wey Dey Reason - Literature (36) - Nairaland

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Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by 4kizo(m): 7:10pm On Apr 09, 2013
Flow oya nah
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Nobody: 11:25pm On Apr 09, 2013
Flow u no get mind @all, i tink say u huge. Why na u 1st run? If na me b dose guys wey base u n man, i go hole una,bcoz una b accomplis

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Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 11:30pm On Apr 09, 2013
We got home to meet Pkc. Just Pkc and Baba jay.

"Pkc u no sleep for church today?" Man asked a n'onesense question.

"i was told u guys were robbed, and Chief Ogbonna was killed" Pkc said, "naso we see am oh, dem those M'umu come kill that good man oh" Man said. "what a pity, may his Soul rest in peace" Pkc said.


"Since i came back something had been smelling in this room, a very bad Odour" Pkc said.

For real, the room was smelling.

"hmnnnnn Abi rat don die?" Man said, "if na rat die make we look for am na" Baba jay said.

As we begane searching, Man said, "how rat go die when we no put rat poison?" "you no know say some of the rubbish food wey we dey chop for dis house, if rat chop am, the rat go die?" I said.

"but wait oh, the thing no dey smell like rat wey die oh, e dey smell like s'hit, abi person s'hit for toilet wey no flush am?" Man said. "i have checked the toilet, it is well flushed" Pkc responded.

As we continued searching what seemed like a fruitless search, Man suddenly said, "Flow na for inside ur Bag the rat die, na from there the smell dey come from". "Man u dey mad, how rat go die for my bag na? na ur bag nahim rat go die, no be my bag" I cursed.

"Flow na true oh, na from ur bag the smell dey come from" Baba jay confirmed.


I came closer and dragged my bag with the tip of my finger.


At that moment, Pkc walked out, maybe he ran for his dear Lungs. because the smell in the room could damage not only the Lungs but the Kidney also.

"hmnnnnnn!!!" "hmnnnnnnn!!" was the noise Man and Baba jay made trying to catch their breathe.


"why you pour spit for my body na?" I yelled at Man who spat on me. "no vex abeg, na because of the smell" Man replied. "so my body nahim be the thing wey dey smell? So na my body the rat wey die dey abi?" I queried Man. "e be like say your body sef don follow dey smell oh" Man said, and i quickly percieved my cloth to comfirm if what he said was true.

"my cloth no dey smell like rat wey die abeg, me wey i spray Tega perfume for dis shirt" I said.

"Flow open the bag na, make we know wetin dey smell for inside" Baba said.

"nahim i wan open so" I replied and my hand went for the zip of the bag.

As i opened the bag, the stench that flew to my nose was the kind of stench that could not only damage one's Lungs and Kidney, but shutdown one's entire symtem.

I couldn't tell the bad spirit that made me hurriedly dipped my hand into the bag without thinking.

My hand came in contact with something that i assumed could be Eba or over done Beans.

I brought out my hand to see it wasn't Eba, neither was it over done Beans.

It was poo.

Fresh poo.

Someone had pood on my bag.

Who else could it be if not Brainbox.

Wonderful Brainbox.

Brainbox, the King of mischief.

Man and Baba jay laughed their way out of the room.

I instantly recalled Brainbox threat, "Flow i go show you". He had done his worse.

Like a pidgin English Adage goes: "first to do, e no dey pain, last to do nahim dey pain". And the English version of the same Adage goes: "He who laughs last, laughs best"

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Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by temhab(f): 11:48pm On Apr 09, 2013
LWKMD here ooo. U too much
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by EzePromoe: 1:07am On Apr 10, 2013
Hahaha, Brainbox at it again!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by valboy20(m): 1:28am On Apr 10, 2013
Finally...brainbox retaliated
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by arizona145(m): 7:23am On Apr 10, 2013
mehn flow biko ejim aha Chineke na si gi biko jiri nwayo maka iji akukoa gbuo mmadu. You have always been a wonderful writer. Keep the ball rolling
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by FoxyUltimate(m): 8:07am On Apr 10, 2013
grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by alfablondy: 8:10am On Apr 10, 2013
Which kind move be that, how Brainbox go put fresh poo for your bag. he get brain so? so i tot.
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Francuiz: 11:41am On Apr 10, 2013
Brainbox sef. Na wah 4 dat kind persn o. Him fit kil o
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 1:35pm On Apr 10, 2013
The next morning, after praise and worship Pkc said, "Man pray for us".

Oh! Not again. Not Man again.

"Baba God, we praise ur name oh, na u be Chairman wey dey heaven, Baba God i wan tell u say u too much, nahim make me want make you send fire make e burn those Mumu wey come kill Chief. Baba i no wan ask you too much, i just want make u do dis ones wey i don ask................ In Jesus name" Man prayed. "AMEN" we chorused.


"Flow we go reach site today oh, my mind dey tell me say work don start, u know say our phone no dey, maybe Madam Ifeoma don dey try our number" Man said that morning. "i go follow una go oh" Baba jay said suddenly. "Follow who? Abeg we no want person wey go die for our hand oh" I said.


As usual, after taking breakfast at Mama Calabar canteen, we walked slowly to the site.


We met Igbakwambo and Ochagbuorie. "Man why una no come work yesterday?" Ochagbuorie asked, "work dey yesterday?" Brainbox asked. "work dey na, Madam Ifeoma even say she don dey try una number since but e no dey go" Igbakwambo said. "na those mumu thief wey come our house come thief our phone oh" Man said.

"but sha we no do too much work, na just the body work we do, we don do the body reach window and door lintel, carpenter don nak plywood for the lintel and him nak plywood for the pillar sef, Madam Ifeoma say today we go cast rice and beans pour for inside the plywood wey the carpenter nak" Ochagbuorie informed.


Madam Ifeoma came and we explained to her why we were absent from work the previous day.


As we headed for the changing room to change to our kponkpon clothes, we met Old solja, "how unu dey" He greeted, "Old solja we dey fine oh, how ur body?" I said, "my body dey strong oh, that na because i dey drink Ike Nwoke" Old solja said.

"wetin be Ike Nwoke?" Man asked, "nahim be dis thing wey dey dis bottle" Old Solja pointed at a big bottle containing a brownish liquid.

"dis Ike Nwoke na powerful drink oh, if unu dey drink am, unu go dey do unu work well well, and unu go fit do plenty bag of kpokpon, nahim i dey drink wey make me dey get power to do my security work for night" Old solja explained. "Old solja, u sure of dis thing wey u dey talk" Brainbox inquired, "i sure na, u no know say if i wan dey follow unu do kponkpon i fit follow unu do for dis my age, i be 75years but i get strenght pass unu" Old solja said.

True talk!! he never looked 75 to me, he looked more like 35. All thanks to Ike Nwoke.

Ike Nwoke in Ibo language means Man Power in English.

"Make unu try am, and unu go see as unu go work well well today" Old solja offered the container to Man.

Man stared at it for a moment, and collected a cup from Old solja and poured out half of the liquid into the cup, he drank it reluctantly, he passed it to Brainbox who drank little or nothing. From the look in their faces, i concluded the drink wasn't bitter.

When it was my turn to drink, Old solja said, "Flowa drink all, i go go buy another one dis evening". So i gulped down a cup. A full cup.

"even sef, na Ike Nwoke make all dis small small girls no gree me rest sef, because my thing strong like bamboo" Old solja said.

"why u no talk like that before i drink am, i for no drink am, i no want my thing to strong like bamboo, me wey i no get babe wey i go wayah with the bamboo" I almost said.


After we finished changing, Old solja said, "make unu go work, unu go work well well".

Yes, i wanted to mix thousands of Rice and beans. But i never wanted a bamboo-like d'ick.

How i wished i could turn back the hands of time.

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Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by 4kizo(m): 6:15pm On Apr 10, 2013
Keep rocking
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 6:29pm On Apr 10, 2013
We started mixing Rice and Beans.


The Ike Nwoke drink i drank gave me excess strength. Within 30minutes i was on my second bag.

And within 1hour i was on my fourth bag. Even the Legendary Igbakwambo could not meet up my pace.

"Flow, dis one wey you and Man dey work well well, wetin una take?" Igbakwambo asked me. "na Tea we take oh" I responded, "which kin Tea una take today wey una never take before? We sef dey take Tea oh" Ochagbuorie said. "na Japanese Tea we take, the name of the Japanese Tea na Tea IN" Man said and i laughed.

I guess he meant Tramadol Ike Nwoke. A new code name for Old Solja's Elixir. A code name that sure sounded Japanese.


I was on my Tenth bag within some hours, Man followed with Nine bags. Brainbox was progressing in a Snail pace with just Four bags. "u think say you wise? when we dey drink planty Ike Nwoke, u just drink only small, how you think say e go work" I almost said to Brainbox.

As i started my Eleventh bag, something started happening.

My volcano started erupting.

My third leg started growing.

It instantly dawned on me that the other side of Ike Nwoke or rather Tea IN had started manifesting.


My kpokpon trouser was torn in between the legs, so my John Thomas was growing so fast to reach the Big hole, maybe to catch photosynthesis, just maybe.

I changed my walking step because the number of legs i had were increased from two to three. Another leg had being created.

Suddenly, the third leg popped its u'gly head out through the big hole in my trouser.

"which kin wahala be dis na" i tot as i sent it back with my hand. It went in, after it was "painted" unknowingly with the cement in my hand.

I was glad nobody saw it popped out, not even the ever vigilant Madam Ifeoma. Or so i tot.

At that moment, I remembered the day i saw Old solja's huge s'crotal sack, and his bamboo-like p''enis through his torn trouser. "no wonder Old solja p''rick big well well, na because of Ike Nwoke" i told myself.

If my d'ick was that huge, what about Man's d'ick, how would it look like? Maybe it would look like a tree stem? Maybe. As i took a quick glimpse at what was in between Man's leg, i was right, it looked like he was carrying a tree stem in between his leg. And he wore a look that seemed he was in pains, that the load was too much for him to carry.

I hurriedly finished the bag i started. And as i was walking to a shade to rest a bit, and also think of how to maybe tie my third leg to either the first or the second leg, Madam Ifeoma came close to me and whispered, "why don't you put that thing to work, it is hungry and needs food, don't keep me waiting".

I understood what she meant. It was time for "Jangolova".

My third leg sure needed food. But not a swimming pool-like food.

I was sure it would perform well this time and it wouldn't swim in Madam Ifeoma's extra large Honey well like the last time.

1 Like

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by IZUKWU(m): 6:47pm On Apr 10, 2013
Flow baba ,i hail oh
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by omoadeleye(m): 7:51pm On Apr 10, 2013
haaaaa oga flow, not again grin grin grin grin
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by cl9700: 7:57pm On Apr 10, 2013
lol
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Osynan(f): 8:03pm On Apr 10, 2013
Nice one
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 8:11pm On Apr 10, 2013
IZUKWU: Flow baba ,i hail oh

i hail you like hail Mary
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Nobody: 8:17pm On Apr 10, 2013
flowbaba watin be kpokpon for igbo? Bcoz i no say na yoruba name b dat.
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by yemi2plus(m): 9:23pm On Apr 10, 2013
Is tym we hit d front page. Who is d mod incharge of this section?

1 Like

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Nobody: 9:40pm On Apr 10, 2013
Flow sweetheart come & do this thing nau
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 11:04pm On Apr 10, 2013
Cute bliss: Flow sweetheart come & do this thing nau

i be dog? Since morning i dey bed dey do u, u still want make i dey do. Shey u wan kill me?
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Nobody: 11:15pm On Apr 10, 2013
flow1759:

i be dog? Since morning i dey bed dey do u, u still want make i dey do. Shey u wan kill me?
oya make we do one round b4 we sleep abeg
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Rapmaestro(m): 11:19pm On Apr 10, 2013
*RAP MAESTRO JUMPS IN THROUGH THE PAKO WINDOW*
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Coldfaya(m): 11:51pm On Apr 10, 2013
Rap maestro: *RAP MAESTRO JUMPS IN THROUGH THE PAKO WINDOW*

Pours hot eguisi soup on him. Taaah wetin u wan see. Lol..... grin cheesy grin grin
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by johnwizey: 12:14am On Apr 11, 2013
Flow wey dey tif chicken
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Nuelaville: 12:25am On Apr 11, 2013
If Rap Maestro doesn't jump,who will??
Rap maestro: *RAP MAESTRO JUMPS IN THROUGH THE PAKO WINDOW*
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by SexyDuby(f): 6:12am On Apr 11, 2013
Cute bliss: oya make we do one round b4 we sleep abeg
Abeg No kill Flooow o. Na my side him dey wey him dey do d away match so he can't be moved by u. Flow sef see Sexybody so tey him Johnthomas throway double salute!
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by johnwizey: 9:25am On Apr 11, 2013
SexyDuby: Abeg No kill Flooow o. Na my side him dey wey him dey do d away match so he can't be moved by u. Flow sef see Sexybody so tey him Johnthomas throway double salute!
Flow,u go nid dat medicine wey old solja gv u again,so u go dey do cutebliss and sexyduby @ d same tym.
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by generaliy07(m): 9:55am On Apr 11, 2013
we have to e-castrate baba flow,his e-romance with cutebliss et al is making him delay updates**calls mozilla firefox,(abi wetin dat bros dey call himsef?abi na foxy ultimatum) to perform d rites for d e-castration ;Di have to e-castrate baba flow,his e-romance with cutebliss et al is making him delay updates**calls mozilla firefox,(abi wetin dat bros dey call himsef?abi na foxy ultimatum) to perform d rites for d e-castration[color=#006600][/color]
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by drsolob(m): 10:48am On Apr 11, 2013
Abeg flow where person go see dat medicine buy na
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by simple2626(m): 12:25pm On Apr 11, 2013
Nice one bro.

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