first to comment!

That means that you are a proper consumer

Horlardorjah: Maddest craziest man ever liveth. Always on point MR FLOWIE. Ur head is dearest

Thank you, your head is also dearest.

Guy u and man wey dey reason dey chop oooooooooooo, flow more I dey kampe dey wait ur yarns. Makin sense juooooooo.

backtop: Guy u and man wey dey reason dey chop oooooooooooo, flow more I dey kampe dey wait ur yarns. Makin sense juooooooo.

I go try backtop.

BTW where is Josphine4good my first wife? Its been a while oh. Who don see her?

flowey, i begged for it and u supplied it. May D Good lord continue to endlessly supply all dat will make u smile. Amen

texanomaly:
Yes. It was taken in April.

eeehhhhnnnnn!!!
A YAFF DIE[/B]
[b]mo ti ku

Flow, thanks for the interpretation.

Madawaki01: eeehhhhnnnnn!!!
A YAFF DIE[/B]
[b]mo ti ku

Dare I ask?

texanomaly:

Dare I ask?

as in
#scratchin my head#
dat pishure scared d hell outta me

#running away#

thanks u make a comment like that, then you run away...chicken sh.t
interpretation: coward

thanks mods for watching my mouth

texanomaly: thanks u make a comment like that, then you run away...chicken sh.t
interpretation: coward

:-/ seah o ya wayray?

Flow u are the best keep it up

texanomaly: thanks u make a comment like that, then you run away...chicken sh.t
interpretation: coward

texanomaly na Oyibo true true oh. I been no know until i view her picture now now.

texanomaly e wu onye ocha nwa nna ya di ojii. Ask the next Ibo person for the meaning. I guess you will see plenty Ibos where you are

PS: No worry i go dey interpret for you, now wey i know say you be Oyibo. OR SO I TOT

flow1759:



BTW where is Josphine4good my first wife? Its been a while oh. Who don see her?

my love am here,I enjoy your story so much.

Josphine4good: Flow u are the best keep it up

And thats my first wife.

flow1759:

And thats my first wife.

Flow give me one more update nw, abegie,

U fit take one bottle of 1759 and alomo mix am joor

"my electric socket is no more working, pls one of you should come and help me fix it" Kate said to those that sat under the Mango tree the next morning, amongst them was the ever cheerful Flow.

"Flow shebi na Physics you study for University?" Man inquired.

"yes na, i studied Physics and i graduated with first class" I said to Kate's hearing, make she know say i no be "O-O" when i dey school.

O-0 is not the scores in a table tennis match, it is what is said to refer to someone that is an Olodo, someone that came to pass time in school, a person that is not studious. O-O is an acronym for "Ogbu Oge" in Ibo. And Ogbu Oge literally means a Lazy person.

"since you graduate with first class, go help her repair her socket na" Brainbox said.

"i just dey shine for Kate una no know, how i go graduate with first class for Physics? I wan run mad?" I nearly said.

True talk. It was almost impossible to graduate with a first class in Physics in my school, since time immemorial only one student had achieved the feat. I saw Physics as the hardest course in the whole wide World. The course was for mad men.

Little wonder a lecturer in our department then told us he wasn't normal, that he was mad, and that everybody that studied Physics in one way or the other was mad.

Sorry to say, he meant Schrodinger was mad, Isaac Newton was "madder", Herbert Einstein was "maddest". Maybe the vehicle of madness drove these great "Maddist" or rather Physicist to their graves, or maybe not.


Kate's room was a convention female room; make-up kit here and there, about a million shoes, pyramid of dirty clothes, unkept wardrobe, lack of cross ventillation, ecetera.

Even if i was blind, i would know i was in a female room because of the smell, it really smelled nice.

"here is the screw driver" Kate offered, as i tried to pray my d'ick down after it stood up immediately i saw two G'-strings dangling at her wardrobe directly above my head. I did my possible best for her not to see my "screw driver" as it stood while she offered me the screw driver.



The aroma of the fried Chicken i was percieving gave me the strength i needed to unscrew the nut of the socket.

"i go chop chicken oh" I nearly said.

As i opened the socket, i discovered that it was burnt, and i informed her.

"how much will it cost me to get a new one?" She asked.

"five thousand naira" my tongue slipped.

"five thousand naira is too much for an ordinary socket na" She said.

"sorry! ehnnnnn! I mean five hundred naira" i stammered.

Why i was saying crap at that moment was because i saw her tied a Towel round her s'exy body, it seemed she wanted to go take her bath.

At that moment, my screw driver started screwing it's way out of my boxers heading to my trouser.


"the original of it is one thousand naira, while the fake is five hundred naira" I informed.

"i will go for the original" She said.

"here is the money, use the rest for transport" She offered me 1500naira.

"i don play this one wayo, socket wey i go buy 300naira nahim i tell her say na 1k" I said to myself.

"why don't you couple back the spoilt one for now, when you buy the new one you will remove it" She suggested.

"i will" I said, but my eyes were on her a'.ss as she walked to the bathroom.

"if you are through, pls help me close the door" She said as she walked into the bathroom.

I thought she was referring to the bathroom door, so i said, "i will gladly do so".

When i knew she wasn't referring to the bathroom door was when she shut it.

I thought of "Flatscreening" but there was no pinhole.


I had totally forgotten i had exposed the n'.aked wires, and without looking, i placed my hand on them.

The shock wasn't child's play, my whole body shook unevenly.

Suddenly, something landed on my head, something like a rope.

I removed the "crown" on my head, and saw that it was one of the G'-strings that was initially dangling above my head, the blue one to be precise.

I had seen G'-strings on Tv, but that was the first day i saw it in reality.

"this thing really be like Catapult oh" I said within, as i held the Catapult or rather G'-string with my left hand.

"how this thing go take enter Kate sef, e too small na" I thought i said that within, not knowing i said it out.

"Flow! Who are you talking to?" Kate asked from the bathroom.

"Catapult!!" I mistakenly responded.

"who is Catapult?" She asked.

"Catapult is the make of the socket, i am just saying it so i wouldn't forget the make and buy another make" I lied.

As i tried raising my hand to hang the Catapult or rather G'-string back to where it fell from, i mistakenly touched the n'.aked wires again, this time i felt heavy breeze blew me to the ground.

"Flow! What is the problem!" Kate was shocked at the noise my falling made.

"nothing, i saw a Cockroach" I answered.

I dedicate this late night update to Joshine4good and texanomaly.

I'm laughing at your story...I still don't know what you said earlier...something about being white, fathers, husband, child, I don't know. and thanks for the dedication

can you interpret what Flow said earlier:e wu onye ocha nwa nna ya di ojii...Where are the Ibo when you need them? Abeg
Flow! I don dey colo. You knew this would drive me crazy. My Ibo friend is sleeping and I can't ask till tomorrow.

Please, please, please

texanomaly: can you interpret what Flow said earlier:e wu onye ocha nwa nna ya di ojii...Where are the Ibo when you need them? Abeg
Flow! I don dey colo. You knew this would drive me crazy. My Ibo friend is sleeping and I can't ask till tomorrow.

It means that you are the white child of a dark father!!!




I no too sabi Ibo but I sure say I get am!

Hahahahahahahaha, abeg flow u 2 much jor no b sey dem say, *changes d 3rd rib* flow oya aluta

texanomaly: I'm laughing at your story...I still don't know what you said earlier...something about being white, fathers, husband, child, I don't know. and thanks for the dedication

How you take know say "white, father and child" dey for wetin i talk?

O di ka e wughi onye ocha o. E wu onye Igbo gara Obodo Oyibo.

But Flow,why una dey fear this Kate like that

Neduzze5:


It means that you are the white child of a dark father!!!




I no too sabi Ibo but I sure say I get am!

You try. Na the meaning be that.

Austinodark: But Flow,why una dey fear this Kate like that

When we reach there you go know

flow1759:

How you take know say "white, father and child" dey for wetin i talk?

O di ka e wughi onye ocha o. E wu onye Igbo gara Obodo Oyibo.

I no sabi. I type in Google translate. No work. I type: what does this mean? I get Igbo to English dictionary. Problem is: not all words there. I think you mix with Pidgen or dictionary not complete. Without all, no sabi am.

This is what I got: Husband (so that, that, as, like) e wughi white man O. E wu Igbo man gara town white person.
The words left untranslated are not in this dictionary. Is "e" it? I know what "O" means. These are words I can not get: wughi, wu, gara. Does gara mean small or maybe less? I may have heard that in a Psquare song.

Hehe! D tory dn dey reach where most of us bn dey expect since!!!! Oya where nairaland sinners association members? Make una dey show o! Flow wan do Kate........ hihihihihihihihihi!

texanomaly:

I no sabi. I type in Google translate. No work. I type: what does this mean? I get Igbo to English dictionary. Problem is: not all words there. I think you mix with Pidgen or dictionary not complete. Without all, no sabi am.

This is what I got: Husband (so that, that, as, like) e wughi white man O. E wu Igbo man gara.
The words left untranslated are not in this dictionary. Is "e" it? I know what "O" means. These are words I can not get: wughi, wu, gara. Does gara mean small or maybe less? I may have heard that in a Psquare song.

In igbo language, there is something called "Olu mba" (a people's dialect) and "Igbo izugbe"(universal Igbo language[if I'm not mistaken]). I think most of the Igbo Flow's spoken here is Olumba(his own dialect) hence the reason why you didn't see it in the Igbo dictionaries; eg the "wughi" you talked about is "bughi" in Igboizugbe(universal igbo).