Cherechy: It baffles me when I hear guys say they are trying to put one or two things together before getting married. In d case of those still in school or studying it's understandable but in d case of a grown ass man, working and lives on his own I don't get.
This in my opinion is jst a useless excuse to buy time. A guy that is ready for marriage will get married, regardless of financial status. After all, shoemakers and okada pple marry everyday.
Like my sis will always say, no story has ever been told of a couple dt got married and now died of hunger. Once there's life, there's hope.
The money u spend on Mr Biggs chicken can buy one pampers, the money you use to hang out with ur buddies over d weekend, can make soup and stew, its all a matter of priority.
Some guys are working, their girlfriends too, yet they'll see they are not ready to settle down. I wonder the mansion they want to acquire or the car they want to buy!
Start small and move on from there. U want to write ICAN, who says marriage will inhibit you? What pple don't know is that there's a blessing that comes with marriage. U get married and all of a sudden, things start falling into place.
Please and please this long courtship of a thing should not be encouraged.
*drops mic

Cherechy: It baffles me when I hear guys say they are trying to put one or two things together before getting married. In d case of those still in school or studying it's understandable but in d case of a grown ass man, working and lives on his own I don't get.
This in my opinion is jst a useless excuse to buy time. A guy that is ready for marriage will get married, regardless of financial status. After all, shoemakers and okada pple marry everyday.
Like my sis will always say, no story has ever been told of a couple dt got married and now died of hunger. Once there's life, there's hope.
The money u spend on Mr Biggs chicken can buy one pampers, the money you use to hang out with ur buddies over d weekend, can make soup and stew, its all a matter of priority.
Some guys are working, their girlfriends too, yet they'll see they are not ready to settle down. I wonder the mansion they want to acquire or the car they want to buy!
Start small and move on from there. U want to write ICAN, who says marriage will inhibit you? What pple don't know is that there's a blessing that comes with marriage. U get married and all of a sudden, things start falling into place.
Please and please this long courtship of a thing should not be encouraged.
*drops mic

bukatyne: What do you call long courtship?

There is no blanket for all cases.

I meant my fiancé when we were in 100L,

Whether we like it or not, we must date for at least 5yrs (4yrs in school and 1yr NYSC)

let's say we are extremely lucky and we get jobs the day we get our NYSC discharge certificate. Then, we would work at least for a year b/4 we can get married... that's 6yrs. (If there is a delay for one or more year b/4 getting jobs, it increases our courtship years more.)

We were lucky and got jobs 1year after service... We are currently in year 7 and will get married in year 8 by God's grace.

There are however some obvious time wasters especially when both or the man has started working before they meet.

miss20: ]wow ur relatnshp is realy cool.ur case is diff.I tink d lady was talking abt relationships wer the guy is comfortable financially 4 marraige.nd even if hiz nt,d girl shuld knw if hiz going to marry her wen hiz financially ok.u probably stayed wit ur man cus u both loved each other nd u knew he loved u enof to marry u.wishn u d best in dat relatnship jare,its nt easy

Miss Ope:

Please dear..can u pls tell me how God confirms to us...dat a particular guy / lady is is will for us

32-D:

[size=14pt]i just dont know what to say to u....just 1 year....as in 12 months?? sincerely i cant even tell in 12 months if i love a gal enuf to spend d rest of ma life with her....am i weird or something?[/size]

emmatmg: THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE TALK FROM AN EXPERIENCED LADY. IF I AMY ASK HAVE BEEN JILTED BEFROE?

Cherechy: It baffles me when I hear guys say they are trying to put one or two things together before getting married. In d case of those still in school or studying it's understandable but in d case of a grown ass man, working and lives on his own I don't get.
This in my opinion is jst a useless excuse to buy time. A guy that is ready for marriage will get married, regardless of financial status. After all, shoemakers and okada pple marry everyday.
Like my sis will always say, no story has ever been told of a couple dt got married and now died of hunger. Once there's life, there's hope.
The money u spend on Mr Biggs chicken can buy one pampers, the money you use to hang out with ur buddies over d weekend, can make soup and stew, its all a matter of priority.
Some guys are working, their girlfriends too, yet they'll see they are not ready to settle down. I wonder the mansion they want to acquire or the car they want to buy!
Start small and move on from there. U want to write ICAN, who says marriage will inhibit you? What pple don't know is that there's a blessing that comes with marriage. U get married and all of a sudden, things start falling into place.
Please and please this long courtship of a thing should not be encouraged.
*drops mic

Temi 23:

It sounds wow.... You can't start courting without friendship at first then relationship will be second level after then courtship will follow. And to my definition, courtship is a period during which couple develop a romantic relationship and a behavior to persuade someone to marry you. So for a courtship to be 4 yrs is even too long if you don't count the friendship level and relationship stage.

Habiolar: @ op , 9ce write up,but to my opinion, wht works 4 u might nt work 4 some1 else. I had a neighbor dt he&his wife court 4 9yrs b4 getting married & up till nw, dey are happily married with kids. Me&my Gf is nw going to 5yrs relationship nw yet we still luv eachoda dearly & I still hv to 2-3yrs b4 settling down, because I hv to put tinz in place. Mind u, if I make money 2day,I'll marry her months after.
To business, 4 ur polo shirt, round neck,v-neck, sportwears 4 kids&adults . Call 07031122496 BB: 220DC3e9. Tanks.

Oga-@-d-top:
i courted with my wife for 11 yrs,we met while in secondary school.the 11yrs courtship was blisful and romantic though,i will not encourage any1,expecially ladies to risk long courtship.men have nothing to lose.we are married for 3 yrs and i love my wife i must confess.its a risk fot ladies.

m.k.o2005:
Why go into courtship in the first place ? Una don come again with all these courtship things !
God help us

Cherechy: It baffles me when I hear guys say they are trying to put one or two things together before getting married. In d case of those still in school or studying it's understandable but in d case of a grown ass man, working and lives on his own I don't get.
This in my opinion is jst a useless excuse to buy time. A guy that is ready for marriage will get married, regardless of financial status. After all, shoemakers and okada pple marry everyday.
Like my sis will always say, no story has ever been told of a couple dt got married and now died of hunger. Once there's life, there's hope.
The money u spend on Mr Biggs chicken can buy one pampers, the money you use to hang out with ur buddies over d weekend, can make soup and stew, its all a matter of priority.
Some guys are working, their girlfriends too, yet they'll see they are not ready to settle down. I wonder the mansion they want to acquire or the car they want to buy!
Start small and move on from there. U want to write ICAN, who says marriage will inhibit you? What pple don't know is that there's a blessing that comes with marriage. U get married and all of a sudden, things start falling into place.
Please and please this long courtship of a thing should not be encouraged.
*drops mic

onyeahams: I don’t know how it works for men but long courtship is bad business for a woman, a right thinking woman. And this is not about lack of patience on a girl’s part. It’s simply and totally about common sense. Letting a man dangle you on his key strings is dumb and dangerous and a bloody waste of time, and time is what a woman doesn’t have and that goes beyond biological clock.

Sure a short courtship has its own draw-backs , it is the real reason why long courtship is bad. Before you come up with the aged argument of how a woman needs to study a man, show me a wife who can swear that she absolutely knew her man before she said ‘ I do’. Men are closed books and you can’t judge them by their macho covers. It takes time to know a man. Okay, and a woman too. So? Short courtship is not good for anybody. Neither is long courtship. The sane thing is to stay in the middle of the long and the short courtship.

Find a middle road. It’s either a relationship is serious or it is not. You are either heading for the altar or the rocks. If you are dating a man and in all of the 52 weeks that make a year, you don’t smell seriousness, you’ve been had. Cut your losses and take a walk. The earlier the better. Hanging on to nothing is foolhardy and you know what is most saddening; most women in relationships that are going nowhere are actually aware of the fact. They are just too afraid to cut loose; you know all that nonsense about ‘where do I start from’ bla bla bla. If you don’t end a bad affair while time is still on your side, you are liable to end up a lonely touchy old maid.

A long courtship going nowhere strips a woman of her dignity and self-esteem. Because she is hoping that tomorrow will persuade him to make an honest woman of her, she shoos off other eligible males. Because she thinks he’d propose at the next valentine dinner, she discourages the real Mr Right. She reads stupid meanings into everything he says or does even when the bloke means nothing. For instance, she mistakes his presence at her mother’s 60th birthday for commitment of an acting son-in-law. Nonsense, it’s just another party for him.

So what if he attended with his friends? Did he not attend parties the previous weekend? What are you doing in a three-year relationship that is about eateries, Chinese restaurants and you acting like a wife every weekend? You do his laundry, warm his bed and cook his meals every week, yet he won’t buy a ring. Naah, you are either a fool or a sucker for pain. He makes love to you without protection but starts fretting if you are three days late. You have overheard him tell his friends that he’s not in a hurry to settle down. What else do you need to convince you that marriage is not on the cards? Now, his bad manners shouldn’t make you lose faith in yourself.

That he won’t propose does not mean you are not a wife material. He’s just not the groom meant for you. You can’t remain his plaything forever while he enjoys the best of both worlds – you play wifey at weekends, he plays the field all week. What insult! Chalk his attitude up as a vote of no-confidence in his upbringing. A man who leads a young woman on, knowing he would not marry her was badly brought up by his mother and his father taught him nothing. Above all, he’s sowing evil seeds for his daughters to reap later. Leave him to his reprobate heart and move on. LADIES,BE WISE.

Babzilla: WHAT THE FCK DO Y'ALL KNOW
HURRY HURRY HAS NO BLESSINGS
THIS HORSESHIT IS THE THEORY OF A DESPERATE CHIC
AND ALL THE DESPERATE CHICS GOBBLE IT UP
LIKE ITS JELL-O
I SAY BROTHERS TAKE UR SWEET EASY TIME WITH CHICS
MOST OF THEM R LIKE SLEEPER CELLS
TIME REVEALS ALL THINGS
AND TIME WILL TELL IF U GOT A WIFE OR A HO
A WIFE WONT MIND THE WAIT
BUT A HO?................

Jisola Mar:

IMO, what you described above is not entirely courtship. Which 100L guy proposes to a lady? It is actually dating which then progressed into courtship.
If you notice, the OP was refering to ladies & gents who were/should be ready for marriage and not students, who obviously still have more important things than marriage to settle.

Courtship starts when a marriage proposal is made and accepted. Then, you begin to plan your futures together and generally prepare for the wedding ceremony(ies?). Anything before then will just be friendship (as i would rather call it), dating, boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, etc.

I agree wt the OP that if a man doesnt propose in 52 weeks and u dont c seriousness/commitment/what could be impending him, then u shld take a walk...that's why as ladies we should try as much as possible not give in to 5ex demands...usu it makes u love up, think we av given so much & not easily c the danger signals...

GraceBestowed:

Most guys want everything to be perfect before they get married, so they usually take time to get 'ready', as opposed to women who are usually ready.

ruthosquare: because he is all I wanted in a man. It takes two to tango

Juicysam: marriage=having 35 channel tv and only permitted to watch one.{monotony and boredom}

bukatyne:

Can you expatiate?

Imagine your wife heard this and decided not to wait for you?

I think the poster means period of proposal till the wedding day

onyeahams: Because she thinks he'll propose at the next valentine dinner