dayokanu:

You were asking why a graduate with a job in Nigeria would want to go through the stress of immigrating with paper wahala and I am stating the example as one reason some people would.

A Doctor after several years in School earning 100k per month compared to his friends in Yankee who "sorted out" their paper issue and are earning $300k a year

Thats a reason he would go through that trouble to sort out papers like the one in the Original Post to earn that type of money

If they tell a Doctor in Nigeria earning 100k per month that he can earn the equivalent 3m Naira per month in the US

And all he has to do is to get papers anyway he can. How many would reject that offer?

Ok o.Motigbo o o motigba. .I really wished it was as easy get papers anyway but its all good.

jidegirl12: Dami *sighs* morals eh? Well this might sound selfish coming from me , but I really don't mind being the bad guy on this Topic.

Good you specified in your post how black and white this topic and the other thread. I will never ever preach that moral to anybody to depend a whole nine yards on a man in order to archive her goals that's simple long throat period and you too know it.

Besides all that, I clearly emphasized my only concern which is the welfare of the child, I really don't care whether she lives off him or not.

I understand sometimes you've gotta do what you gotta do to get what you want in Naija ( as long as you don't steal) and I'm not gonna judge anybody for that, I will make my presumption known which is what I'm doing here but as long as nobody's gonna die , all well and good.

That^ being said, ( I really don't want to get myself into trouble cos this is a very tricky topic to be too loose on Internet about ) ....... Like somebody already stated nobody pray to be in this kinda situation and I feel those going thru it, I've heard people stranded abroad for over 10years before a way through, would I judge that kinda person doing arrangee , hell NO! So dear it's a sketchy topic and you gotta nod to the practice like one of those shît or just keep mute and walk away.

Trying to be modest and acting all dumbfounded here is just bull IMO, this is a Nigerian website and feigning just drives me nuts.

@topic as long as wife is aware, no problem. Also to the 'victims' ( which is not always the case for them cos they benefit too) .... What can I say I'm sorry.

I really don't get the morals to preach on this Topic, that people should be banged up abroad until Obama declared amnesty ??

@Ile , nice one.

Jydoegirl(i liked that moniker ) my point is which i think you got is clearly highlighted in your last paragraph.He is not like people who have been stuck for years and so as not to sound preachy,He is only just starting this whole schitzo so his case is slightly diff from someone who has been on it for years.Ok o,dont let me use morals in this case nigbayen

jidegirl12:

You have no clue Dami, I will make it your opinion, but let me remind you , not everybody had it easy like me and you.

Lol.Easy .Ok o.I keep saying it and people tell me not to but seriously having seen first hand (family members o i no come from Dangote or Adenugaish background ejo)what people have to face living illegally abroad for me it was and will always be a no no.Dats all.

Omi ti eniyan ma mu ko ni san koja eyan(water that you are ought to drink wont flow past you, apologies if translation or yoruba sef is not spot on ).

OP,
If you cannot provide necessities and luxuries that family desires, I suggest you mind your business. Don't give advice when you have nothing to offer as a remedy. All this gboromidieleru from a man is unbecoming. Married people should learn to talk less to outsiders about private issues.

Dami

So what would he rather do? Exhaust the whole visa before he starts the runs? He's clearly concerned bout his newly wed and want to get it over with ASAP. He's very nice.

I always tell the newcomers fist thing first, go back to school and upgrade to secure a good job rather than working at McDonald's right away, once you get used to the money flow, it's very hard to stop and think bout schooling again, age's not on anybody's side. Same goes to the guy in op's story too. The earlier the better.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------
As for the holier than thous that don't 'roll' with THE : hungry, criminally minded, fraudulent, adulterous desperados and riff raffs ( wow ile) but can clearly mark them from afar in meetings and occasions & social gatherings ( together with them oh ) or from their cars , or even their neighbours AS: the loud, uncultured Naija wives , poorly educated and no option Naija crew ( wow wow wow) and still claim here that they don't know them with all those convinced qualities? ( damn!!)
How you take know all those attributes without knowing them in person boggles mind and sounds stalky too.

I'm done now. Ish!

baby_123: OP,
If you cannot provide necessities and luxuries that family desires, I suggest you mind your business. Don't give advice when you have nothing to offer as a remedy. All this gboromidieleru from a man is unbecoming. Married people should learn to talk less to outsiders about private issues.

It's funny writing that after what everybody has written.
I guess you were in such rush to post a reply.

Let me re-state my earlier stand...ignore the messenger but not the message.

Gboromideleru is not such a bad idea if it's about seeking a better path for people you hold dear.

If you are not okay with the topic , kindly add yourself to the viewers or mind your business.
Don't bring your stress here please.

Yes o! I know many more attributes; they are also greedy, lack contentment, immoral, lack the fear of God, deceitful and are common criminals. Oh and did I say desperate and razz?

As for the people 'arranging' them had better watch it cause they could be rounded up by authorities at any time T.

^^^ you've got more the messianic one? ..... I'm sure they don't give a rat bout what you think of them, like you'd even know see? Unless you know them ( friend & relatives) , then your deductions are all pointless. Tsk got it? Orrrrrr Confused?

ileobatojo: Yes o! I know many more attributes; they are also greedy, lack contentment, immoral, lack the fear of God, deceitful and are common criminals. Oh and did I say desperate and razz?

As for the people 'arranging' them had better watch it cause they could be rounded up by authorities at any time T.

ile is becoming fierce o. U right though

Pfft, why would I care what a bunch of criminals think? With their blatant disregard for the law of the land and their deception of poor innocent women in some cases, they are nothing but fraudulent, adulterous, disgusting menaces.

The authorities will soon come for them and their criminal masterminds

miredia: ile is becoming fierce o. U right though

How u dey?

ileobatojo:



How u dey?

i dey o, ur analysis always on point but u'r vexing these days ehnnn...

Aaaaaaaaaw, the internet touts aka gutter babes are on heat

Lord, please grant them contentment and happiness in their lives so that they may spare the rest of us their uncouth and uncultured behavior and not constantly misbehave on a public forum . . .

Also grant them the discernment to recognize those of like minds so that they may direct their angst energy to those who find street fighting an engaging sport.
Orisirisi, so they expect Mmotimo to start trading words with two obviously bitter and unfulfilled people with a reputation for gangsterism! Tufiakwa! I was raised better! Egbe isu ko ni iyan

Knock yourselves out, afterall an omo alata is an omo alata is an omo alata

miredia: i dey o, ur analysis always on point but u'r vexing these days ehnnn...

Lol! Abeg I'm innocent!

ileobatojo:


Lol! Abeg I'm innocent!

u use to be...

miredia: u use to be...

No comment.

Oops I touched a Nerve I guess I'm right she knows them afterall
------------
Ile

And Yet you didn't figure it out.

Look Neither both of us are mind readers, we are talking bout attributes/qualities of a person. Just cause they're involved in such doesn't make them all those disgusting characteristics you came up with bout their person. , otherwise except [b]you're related [/b]with those people ( then you're right) But if not then all those features you stated are Not only inefficacious but irrelevant . Got it now??

*Kicked to the curb*

awwwwww

MMotimo: Aaaaaaaaaw, the internet touts aka gutter babes are on heat

Lord, please grant them contentment and happiness in their lives so that they may spare the rest of us their uncouth and uncultured behavior and not constantly misbehave on a public forum . . .

Also grant them the discernment to recognize those of like minds so that they may direct their angst energy to those who find street fighting an engaging sport.
Orisirisi, so they expect Mmotimo to start trading words with two obviously bitter and unfulfilled people with a reputation for gangsterism! Tufiakwa! I was raised better! Egbe isu ko ni iyan

Knock yourselves out, afterall an omo alata is an omo alata is an omo alata

Pot calling kettle black buhahahaha ... Who sounds omo akara ish now?? you need that prayer points on yourself , guess that's why it came in handy for you. Agbaya yamayama !!

MMotimo: Aaaaaaaaaw, the internet touts aka gutter babes are on heat

Lord, please grant them contentment and happiness in their lives so that they may spare the rest of us their uncouth and uncultured behavior and not constantly misbehave on a public forum . . .

Also grant them the discernment to recognize those of like minds so that they may direct their angst energy to those who find street fighting an engaging sport.
Orisirisi, so they expect Mmotimo to start trading words with two obviously bitter and unfulfilled people with a reputation for gangsterism! Tufiakwa! I was raised better! Egbe isu ko ni iyan

Knock yourselves out, afterall an omo alata is an omo alata is an omo alata

ur write up is a call to engage a discourse. If uncomfortable with any character, wat a superior mind would typically do is ignore or trivialise.don't sound petty chief

ileobatojo:

No comment.

abeg comment

jidegirl12: Oops I touched a Nerve I guess I'm right she knows them afterall
------------
Ile

And Yet you didn't figure it out.

Look Neither both of us are mind readers, we are talking bout attributes/qualities of a person. Just cause they're involved in such doesn't make them all those disgusting characteristics you came up with bout their person. , otherwise except [b]you're related [/b]with those people ( then you're right) But if not then all those features you stated are Not only inefficacious but irrelevant . Got it now??

*Kicked to the curb*

Of course I can call a person that commits a crime a criminal without knowing them intimately. The proof of a pudding....

Anyway, not interested in a back and forth. The bottom line is what they do is fraud (and in the case of this guy in the OP, bigamy + adultery) and I really don't understand how you can throw the whole weight of your support behind that.

Have a good night.

miredia: ur write up is a call to engage a discourse. If uncomfortable with any character, wat a superior mind would typically do is ignore or trivialise.don't sound petty chief

I'm forced to ignore that post because if any of it was actually directed at me, it's so far out of the looney left field that it is just best dismissed.


#this is the thanks I get for actually coming to her defense. #lesson learned.

ileobatojo:

Of course I can call a person that commits a crime a criminal without knowing them intimately. The proof of a pudding....

Anyway, not interested in a back and forth. The bottom line is what they do is fraud (and in the case of this guy in the OP, bigamy + adultery) and I really don't understand how you can throw the whole weight of your support behind that.

Have a good night.

In the event of a circumstantial need for survival, ideals and ethics are relegated. And yes it is wrong but just stating the obvious

miredia: In the event of a circumstantial need for survival, ideals and ethics are relegated. And yes it is wrong but just stating the obvious

I do agree with you that there could be some really pitiful cases but as a general rule, it should not be the default course of action.

@op... These are very delicate lines. You just have to be careful. It seems to be in your nature to care, but even brothers might read different meanings. Think of peace in your family too.
@ post: a good man is usually d man that has not been sufficiently tempted. Saw most scenarios like this in benin and lagos. It is a fraud and most times, the wives have very little options. After say 2 to 3 kids, u want to fight for ur rights? Even when d reason is constructed on better lives for the kids n everyone? If she doesn't agree, she is seen as wicked n selfish n be ready for trouble with the in laws. Bottomline... Manage ur resources and build with what you have. Its those husbands that are looking for huge "home runs" that falls into these. Watch out for d guy in a relationship that dreams of "hitting it big". They usually end up hitting you below d belt n it might look wicked for u to even let out a cry.

Across the slug fest of sarcasm and who come from silver spoon or not , good to know that DK and mama jhyde hit the nail on the head

Liked!!! 1000 times

Money na the main thing

Simples

That man wey dey beside you on the subway or that owambe you don't really know he sorted himself

Everybodi on fire today

prologue: @op... These are very delicate lines. You just have to be careful. It seems to be in your nature to care , but even brothers might read different meanings. Think of peace in your family too.

Thanks. Your advice is highly valued.
Although some find being out for other people over-bearing.

Life is in black and white.

Women need to stop putting up wit such nonsense

Crossfire comment, deleted

@ ileoba

Sorry you got caught in the crossfire! Frankly, I was surprised at what I felt was an unprovoked attack from you. You've never struck me as the type with a bottomless capacity for mischief and a need for e-fights to cope with the misery of real life.

The other gal, I know exactly what her troubles are, clear for all to see. I usually just ignore characters like that because it is an inbred thing and it can be hard to outrun your circumstances but I realized this one's IQ is so low that her local, razz, crass, bushito self will keep pushing because she sees herself as an internet warrior and zero breeding to re-arrange herself.

A pathological liar with illusions of grandeur who has been exposed for what she is over and over again, hopefully she gets the help she needs, almost all of her sparring partners have counselled her. This much venom and psycho behavior online, the real life must be truly . . . . . . Now that she has had a chance to call me names, maybe she will feel better and consider getting professional help for what ails her.

Apologies again! Now I know why my conscience was bothering me, I owe you an apology.

damiso:

Sis you know i dont like arguing back and forth BUT i had to pick on this.Remember the thread where the lady was contemplating leaving her son behind to pursue her career?You were really vocal(understandably as we were talking about a minor) about the lady wanting to trade in morals for a life abroad to follow her dreams?

I am in no way saying this is the same scenario and believe me i know and empathise with people who need to sort residency issues(i no dey form rara,me and hubby argue sef cos i think he can be quite unfairly judgemental about it sometimes) BUT can we also not quote the morals story line here?Yeah things are hard in Naija(still also dont understand how a seemingly educated bloke with a job will want to go that route NOW emphasis on NOW with the state of the world's economy).If the marriage was not a clear cut contract i.e. i am not exactly marrying you i just need to sort myself(even that am a bit uneasy about)but at least we all know what we are getting into. Not openly using a vulnerable person who might think they have found love just for residency.No other word for it,its wrong.Me i cant pretend to be no one's sister in that scenario.Ko le to yen men.Na people not ghosts dey live naija.

Her hypocrisy is baffling . . . talking through both ides of her mouth.

One side encourages immorality, the other side condemns it . . . as the spirit directs eh

ye . . ye!

MMotimo: @ ileoba

Sorry you got caught in the crossfire! Frankly, I was surpried at what I felt was an unprovoked attack from you. You've never struck me as the type with a bottomless capacity for mischief and a need for e-fights to cope with the misery of real life.

The other gal, I know exactly what her troubles are, clear for all to see. I usually just ignore characters like that because it is an inbred thing and it can be hard to outrun your circumstances but I realized this one's IQ is so low that her local, razz, crass, bushito self will keep pushing because she sees herself as an internet warrior and zero breeding to re-arrange herself.

A pathological liar with illusions of grandeur who has been exposed for what she is over and over again, hopefully she gets the help she needs, almost all of her sparring partners have counselled her. This much venom and psycho behavior online, the real life must be truly . . . . . . Now that she has had a chance to call me names, maybe she will feel better and consider getting professional help for what ails her.

Apologies again! Now I know why my conscience was bothering me, I owe you an apology.

Apology accepted! No biggie. To say I was stunned when I read your post is an understatement because at no point did I attack you. I can't even figure out which of my posts you thought was directed against you.

In actual fact, the primary reason I came into this thread was because I saw Jide deliberately targeting you (with her snide comments) unecessarily and I agreed with your point of view.

As for Jide, what can I say, she and I have finally agreed to be "frenemies" otherwise, she would have been directing all the negativity at me.

Jide, please leave Mmotimo alone.

jidegirl12: Uju today is Victoria Day .... I'm heading to the parade as I speak and a guy I just filed PR for is driving me and my family there..... I came to the west solo (student) with my britiko passport to refresh your memory ..... yeah I thought you need that explanation from me.

For the umpteenth time, could you please waka pass my posts?? This is getting ridiculous don't you think?? How else do you want me to spell it out to you that I don't give a Bleep about you and you're not relevant to me??

*sighs*

Again I'm not gonna discuss this thread with you, my post wasn't directed at you , abi aye e fe baje ni?

bla bla bla bla . . .

The diff b/w you and I is that I'll call you out, even quote you . . but you prefer the cowardly indirect approach . . If you don't 'give a fck about you' then stop making snide references to my post . . SMH!

I'm not here to trade words/fight with you, but I won't look the other way if you talk trash . . . it disturbs my sensibilities!

ileobatojo:

Apology accepted! No biggie. To say I was stunned when I read your post is an understatement because at no point did I attack you. I can't even figure out which of my posts you thought was directed against you.

In actual fact, the primary reason I came into this thread was because I saw Jide deliberately targeting you (with her snide comments) unecessarily and I agreed with your point of view.

As for Jide, what can I say, she and I have finally agreed to be "frenemies" otherwise, she would have been directing all the negativity at me.

Jide, please leave Mmotimo alone.

It's her modus operandi . . . cowards way out?

Honestly this is getting old . . . instead of giving her opinion like everybody else and taking a hike, she'll decide to launch unnecessary attacks at innocent posters.

Tried to figure her out but the mind boggles . . .