dotcom_na_me_na_me:

[size=15pt]You're a legend. God bless you. You've said it all

1 million likes !!!![/size]

plaetton is a legend. TWO MILLION LIKES!!!!!!!!

alutacontinua: My own problem still lies in the fact that if a man were to be caught cheating, the story changes!
Why should it be any different for any gender?

grandlexuz:

You want to know why? A woman's fidelity is her husbands pride. A mans ability to provide for his wife is his wife's pride..lol A cheating wife brings the offspring of another man into her matrimonial home. Nothing could be worse than that!

armyofone: Yes, forgive.

The good book said: He who hath no sin should first cast the stone and the pharises left one by one.

bily:

nairaland is a very funny place. i am sometimes amazed at the level of comprehension of some people here. lorretta did you even take the time to read oyin50 comments before concluding that she supported obadiah's views? i understand you are a woman and you may want to support your own, but what oyin was simply saying is adultery is disgusting from her point of view especially being a woman. she never said it was ok for men to commit adultery. lets call a spade a spade here. if something is disgusting, then its simply disgusting irrespective of gender.

all you peeps are trying to do is make it a gender issue and it is not. you see, when you try to twist simple issues like this into a gender equality stuff, unknowing to you, you are subtly supporting it. that is why i prefer oyin's view. she said paraphrased 'is it then an excuse for me to be filthy cos men are filthy?' we have to be careful what we say and support cos it may come back to hunt us. what is wrong is wrong. afterall men who cheat dont cheat with themselves, they do it with women. so the women they do it with what do we then label the women? victims? or cheats? the answer is very simple, the women men cheat with are also cheats. so we have about an equal number of cheats between men and women, so dont for once pretend women are victims here.

coming back to the OP, i may forgive, it will be very hard and it will take a lot of divine strength. but i think its more likely i will send her packing, its not something i pray for anyone to experience, its a difficult situation.

pro01:

You dey mind all these deluded internet feminists? Let them leave their so-called cheating husbands and return to ther parents' house na. Even her own mother would flog her back to her husband's house if her only flimsy excuse for running away is that she caught him with another woman (who he doesn't even intend to marry as a second wife). Even battered women hang on to their marriages because of the shame associated with returning to their father's house after a failed marriage, let alone the inconsequential and expected matter of a well to do and desirable man keeping concubines. These confused kids MUST deal with the fact that it is culturally permissible for a man to keep as many partners as his resources allow, just as it is a painful cultural norm in Nigeria that men have to do all the chasing and spending in a relationship.

If this cultural reality is too inbearable for you, then go find an oyinbo man somewhere in Norway to marry. Call me a chauvinist if you want, the truth remains what it is. If you think this entitles you to also cheat, you are on your own. Gender equality my foot.

grandlexuz:

And the good book also said a man may not divorce his wife except in the case of adultery. Chai the good book even knows how painful a woman's adultery is!

lorretta u: from all your posts here,it's evident that you'd expect to be forgiven,even tolerated when you cheat.but cannot even for a moment entertain the idea of forgiving your wife if she does the same.if that's not hypocrisy,I don't know what is.even trying to justify why a man cheating is better than a woman cheating(by supporting obadiah's post)ok let's put the anatomy And antigen,bal bla issues aside.I don't even want to start analysing that.if I do both of you will see how wrong you're.BUT
How about your wife's feelings that you're gonna hurt,isn't that enough reason to consider absolute faithfulness the way you expect from her as well?if the hypocrisy in your arguement isn't clear to you,I doubt if anyone can make you see it.
Suffice is to say that whatever you give,is what you gonna get.SIMPLE.

ileobatojo: *bold faced lies*

lorretta u: you need to come out from that cave you live in.no right thinking woman will stay on in a relationship or marriage where battering occurs.it's only hopeless and helpless women who do that.there's no shame in leaving a marriage where your worth as a person is undermined and your personality trampled upon.wake up and smell the coffee.it might have happened to your mother and sisters and they bore it,doesn't mean it happens to every family.or that all mothers will encourage their daughters to bear battery just to stay married.you and your likes spoil the santity of marriage,and with this your mentality which I'm sure you must somehow exhibit in your character,I can assure you that your wife won't stay faithful to you.and you most likely won't find out.u can doubt that all you want.but it's true.
And men don't do all the spending in a relationship unless of course like I said,you're still living in a cave.wake up wake up wake up.the train is leaving you behind.I wonder why guyz like u are busy trying to keep this aspect of culture alive when there's so much parts of our beautiful culture that has been wiped away without you guyz lifting a finger to sustain them.but when it comes to matters of the loin,you all spring up and start clamoring culture.someone like you will want a wife who cooks,cleans,takes care of the home and kids,do all the menial chores keeps you satisfied and still earn money for the family upkeep.but to stay faithful,you remember culture.who do you think you're fooling?you don't care about any culture .you care about nothing apart from sex/ual satisfaction from as many sources as possible.and that's the simple truth.

olmzerfemi: It is amazing how much energy each person has used to defend or express a point. In African culture, a man can marry as many wives has he wants. In Biblical terms. a man is entitled to only a wife!!! Even when African culture supports marrying more than a wife, cheating is still not permitted***. It is equally important that women are scared human beings because of the value placed on them. Likewise the Man as the head of a woman.

Now to the issue under discussion, what is bad is bad. Nothing can make a man forgive an adulterous wife. A wife is different from a girlfriend or mistress or whatever. Please equally note that a woman will never forgive his man for cheating on her. If she said she has forgiven you, you have a life time of work to do to earn her trust back except that she cant ask you to move out of the house just like in Europe/America.

In short, spend your time loving your wife, she really needs little to be happy. Likewise, woman love/respect and make your husband happy. It takes very little to keep your partner focused on you. Once you can do that, adultery wont set it.

Unhappy partners are ones we need to worry about. It takes two to tango. Leave no room to the devil.

lorretta u: you do make sense.but you're getting me wrong too.and frankly I'm tired of arguing about this.in the past I used to be of the school of thought that cheating was worse in a woman than in a man.seeing as it's quite irritating to let someone else other than my man even touch me innocently how much more sexually,but I've come to see that men take this view which many women have as a license to mess around.now if I find it irrittating to let another man touch me,how do you think I'll feel if a man who sleeps around is my man.it's just the same as sleeping around myself(ugh.how disgusting)I didn't misquote OYIN50.her view is that it's worse for a woman to cheat which I don't agree with.it's the same sin.whether you like it or not.and the consequences are the same.God has no bias.there's no twisting this into a gender war except it's what you guyz want.as for those singing internet feminism,I'll say it once again.I'm no feminist.I appreciate the differences in men and women.it's one of the beauties of life.so because a woman doesn't take cheating from men as a common thing,she's now a feminist?many guys on this forum have ego problems.makes me wonder if their fathers actually loved and respected their mothers.

plaetton:

You shut up!.
Do you have comprehension problems?
You need to retake your Waec english.

In all my posts on this thread, I have never advocated, supported or indrectly implied that it was okay for men to cheat or that men should be held to a different standard.
I am simply addressing the issue based on the facts presented by the OP.
Comprendo?

livebullet:

becos by nature , a man has more than 1 slot for a wife. God made it so. Each woman is made just 4 1 man.

grandlexuz:

And the good book also said a man may not divorce his wife except in the case of adultery. Chai the good book even knows how painful a woman's adultery is!

grandlexuz: A few months back I was discussing with my kid sister and she was very furious on why male adultery was lightly looked upon in Africa. This was my explanation to her. If she told mum she has seen the man of her dreams, what would be her first question?? "Weti dey man di work?" Why? Because a mans first role is to provide for his wife and family. On the other hand when a man tells the mum he has seen the woman of his dreams, what is often the first response, " I hope say no be na dis Lagos girls"-lol I never heard any mum refused the son from marrying a girl because she got no job..lol Their major concern is uprightness and a morally backup family or village..lol True talk right? I am not saying it is close to right for a man to cheat, but the repercussions when a woman cheats is higher. Women, did you know in most cases if your man was cheating with the girl next door, that girl would be scared of you and unable to look at you in the eyes. Try cheating with the guy next door and check out his swag when he meets with your husband at the corridor..lol

obadiah777: CHEATING IS DIFFERENT WITH MEN AND WOMEN. SEE THE WOMAN IS A RECIEVER. SHE IS GETTING FOREIGN MATTER INTRODUCED INTO HER BODY. THE SPERMATOZOA IS A FOREIGN BODY AND IT CHANGES THE COMPOSITION OF HER AND THEN SHE CREATES ANTIGENS TO THE GUYS SPERMATOZOA SO THE GUY IS WITH HER FOREVER. EVERY GUY A WOMAN HAS EVER SLEPT WITH REMAINS WITH HER FOREVER. SHE HAS ANTIGENS OF ALL THE MEN SHE HAS EVER HAD SE-X WITH. THATS WHY A WOMAN LOOKS HAGGARD THE MORE PARTNERS SHE HAS. HER IMMUNE SYSTEM GETS JACKED UP FROM ALL THE ANTIGENS CREATED IN HER. EVERY MAN A WOMAN HAS YANSHED IS IN HER FOREVER. FOR MEN ITS DIFFERENT. FOR MEN IT IS MORE OF A SPIRITUAL WEAKENING. FOR WOMEN ITS BOTH PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL

juleze:
and if a man can't provide for his family due to a setback, he can then lose his wife's respect?

pro01:

Is this a question, a rhetorical question, or a statement of fact? I'm convinced that some of you people live on the internet, or perhaps in some remote society somewhere around Antarctica. Anyone that lives in Nigeria and is not detached from the reality of Nigerian culture and environment would not make these ridiculous arguments. That was how the other one was deceiving herself that men are no longer required to do all the spending in relationships. Granted that there are always a few exceptions, but what is the norm? People should stop distorting reality - there is a big difference between the internet and the real world. One shouldn't resort to baseless lies merely because she wants to sound smart or win an argument.

Of course a man almost always loses his wife's respect when he is no longer able to provide for the family. Some women are more patient than others, but ultimately, they ALL get tired of waiting for the man to overcome his "setback", and they then proceed to disrespect him in every way imaginable, including sleeping with other men.

Princess zoe: Saolab you cannot divorce if you have been unfaithful to your wife except if you have made restitution in which if that is the case, you will forgive her the first time out of the reason that you were once unfaithful. Bible never gave that instruction in matthew 19 vs 9 to adulterous men but faithful men that was why they said "if the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry". Coming to your second question. If you are a good and pratical christian you wouldn't have asked me that question. In the beginning God made them man and woman. Adam and eve and not adam, eve and evangeline. That alone should tell you the original plan of God. Apart from deuetromy 17 vs 17; 1 timothy 3 verses 12: Almost all the instructions given by God on marriage grounds throughout the new tastament were based on one man, one wife ideology. Ephesians 5 verses 28 reads HE that loveth his WIFE (not wives) loveth himself; verses 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, shall be joined unto his WIFE(not wives) and they TWO(not three) shall be one flesh; verses 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his WIFE(not wives) even as himself and the WIFE(not wives) see that SHE(not they) reverence HER(not their) husband. I have quoted enough. The scripture says something about some men "perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth.....i hope you are not one of them.

isale_gan2:

This is just common sense. But God forbid they allow that to be taught in schools on in mass media.

Re OP, I think you're more likely to hear of a husband reacting this way (below) than offering forgiveness to a cheating wife.
http://gawker.com/5989819/riflemans-journal-host-shot-and-killed-by-jealous-husband-in-murder+suicide

plaetton:


Lord Obadiah 777, na you biko.
Tell them jare.

grandlexuz:

You have a good point, but the issue was not about God forgiving the sin. It is more about how society looks at it. Our African society. If you are an exception, believe me most married woman will readily forgive their adulterous husband with something as small as a new dress. Thankfully you appreciate the differences in man and woman. Did you know a man could get sexually arouse just by listening to the voice of a woman in the next room. Believe it or not most cheating men still adore and worship their wives. On the other hand when a woman starts cheating you risk having the bile of a python for breakfast..lol

juleze:

Not adultery, but fornication.
Fornication in this case refers to marriages that are wrong, for instance, incestuous marriages that were discovered to be so later, or marriages to divorcees, as Jesus said that he that marries a divorcee is committing adultery. He/ she's another's until death do them part.

bukatyne:

Dear,

Except adore and worship has taken new meanings, please don't put them in the same sentence with an adulterous husband.