4 Him:

pray and how does this help the situation?

Unless you want to live a cat and mouse marriage, this is a most unreasonable attitude.

Cadet:

Beat a man that's twice your size?
Ever heard of this yoruba phrase, "Abara kekere fun abara nl"? meaning, big slap for small slap. A man's hand is usually twice the size of his woman and firmer. When that man hits that woman back gan, she go think thunder hit her

A knife gets the job done.

~Antidote~:

@StephenP
DOn't fool yourself dread, Men are great pretenders. During the courtship they can be angels, as soon as they place that ring on your finger then it's a whole different ball game. The truth is, one can never tell. While there may be some warning signs, most times there arent. It's a risk some of us ladies are not willing to take,

StephenP:

[size=13pt]That's why I said if you can, do it and if you can't, don't. Some women are bigger than their husbands yet they (the women) let their men beat them.[/size]

Cadet:

So what's your solution? that she should let him continue slapping her? Lay low? Talk to a heedless man?

~Antidote~:

[/b]

That is ONLY my opinion, It may work, it may NOT work, It's left to be seen.  No one dreams or wishes to be in an abusive relationship, but shit happens.  Who knows, maybe caught in such a situation I may not even know what to do. But as it stands now, I would rather fight back Who knows maybe he will see I am NOT an easy pushover and rethink before lifting his hands,

~Antidote~:

@StephenP
DOn't fool yourself dread, Men are great pretenders.  During the courtship they can be angels, as soon as they place that ring on your finger then it's a whole different ball game.  The truth is, one can never tell.  While there may be some warning signs, most times there arent.  It's a risk some of us ladies are not willing to take,

4 Him:

Read my post again, there is a caveat there that indicates the woman should take drastic action if the man is a chronic abuser.

4 Him:

Ditto for women. I'm tired of all this "men this men that . . ."
Women pretend the most. They are all nice and cuddly while dating, soon as they become installed as wives the headaches, tiredness, nagging, snapped replies, bitchy claws come into the equation.

StephenP:

[size=13pt]That's why I said if you can, do it and if you can't, don't. Some women are bigger than their husbands yet they (the women) let their men beat them.[/size]

4 Him:

Ditto for women. I'm tired of all this "men this men that . . ."
Women pretend the most. They are all nice and cuddly while dating, soon as they become installed as wives the headaches, tiredness, nagging, snapped replies, bitchy claws come into the equation.

4 Him:



Bull. Try showing a 6ft 3in 220lb guy that you're not a pushover.

Ditto for women. I'm tired of all this "men this men that . . ."
Women pretend the most. They are all nice and cuddly while dating, soon as they become installed as wives the headaches, tiredness, nagging, snapped replies, bitchy claws come into the equation.

~Antidote~:

I am NOT even going to waste my time going down that road with you, Saying women pretend the most, is like saying ALL Nigerians do fraud. In other words, Men pretend and Women pretend as well. There are NO winners where this is concerned.

~Antidote~:

And what is so wrong about a 5ft 4in woman standing up to a 6ft 3in man? Yea, he may beat the crap out of her, but the fact that she showed him she's no coward would stir something inside of him.

~Antidote~:

AS I earlier said, I do NOT condone physical, verbal or psychological abuse in anyway, However, I won't just dump my husband on the first sign of trouble, I would try to work things out and if it persists, then I take other steps,

~Antidote~:

I am NOT even going to waste my time going down that road with you, Saying women pretend the most, is like saying ALL Nigerians do fraud. In other words, Men pretend and Women pretend as well. There are NO winners where this is concerned.

And what is so wrong about a 5ft 4in woman standing up to a 6ft 3in man? Yea, he may beat the crap out of her, but the fact that she showed him she's no coward would stir something inside of him.

AS I earlier said, I do NOT condone physical, verbal or psychological abuse in anyway, However, I won't just dump my husband on the first sign of trouble, I would try to work things out and if it persists, then I take other steps,

4 Him:

finito. Enough of blaming men for global warming.

It is just so wrong on too many levels. Being a bully and trying to slap your husband is not a mature way of showing you're not a coward . . . infact it merely cements the fact that you're a kid in adult skin.

[b]Dont lets beat around the bush, the above is bull. you're a very abusive person so stop pretending with all these theory.[/b]My point on topic, you're husband may hit you by mistake . . . let him know its wrong, make him appologize and make it up to you . . . then bury the hatchet and move on as a family.
If he's a chronic abuser then he needs help, get out of his house before he kills you.

StephenP:

[size=13pt]Huh? You just said all men are pretenders, and now that he said women pretend, you say he's being stereotypical.[/size]

LadyT:

Men can be monsters but girls we arent too far behind!

~Antidote~:

Can you show me where I stated such??PLEASE,
Look here, don't EVER lie on me, If you have a problem with my OPINION( NOT Scriptual) then attack that, but don't go around posting shit about me without getting your facts straight,

4 Him:

give us all a break hypocrite. You do this all the time don't you?
Need me to give u just one or two reminders?

bawomolo:

given nigerian culture, all that needs to be done is to beg one of the in-laws to bring the woman back. shh there are many cases of nigerian women who are abused for decades but refuse to file for divorce due to cultural or religious reasons. most women would stick it out all in the name of "love". this includes the independent women of nairaland.

whatup islander, i'm still waiting for my fish dinner

bawomolo:

given nigerian culture, all that needs to be done is to beg one of the in-laws to bring the woman back. shh there are many cases of nigerian women who are abused for decades but refuse to file for divorce due to cultural or religious reasons. most women would stick it out all in the name of "love". this includes the independent women of nairaland.

whatup islander, i'm still waiting for my fish dinner

~Antidote~:

Can you show me where I stated such??PLEASE,
Look here, don't EVER lie on me, If you have a problem with my OPINION( NOT Scriptual) then attack that, but don't go around posting shit about me without getting your facts straight,

bawomolo:

there are many cases of nigerian women who are abused for decades but refuse to file for divorce due to cultural or religious reasons. most women would stick it out all in the name of "love". this includes the independent women of nairaland.

LadyT:

I just realised who Antidote was.  Her and 4Him have a long history

I just hope we don't try this into a Islander and 4Him WWpart 78!

StephenP:

[size=13pt]Whoa, my bad. You said MEN are pretenders. Same difference. By the way, you need to calm down, we are exchanging ideas not insults.[/size]

~Antidote~:

And yes we were exchanging Ideas( NO insults) until Nairaland Mr.Put-to-right, came on, Don't know when some people would learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, and that sometimes people just cannot be bothered with their half-baked opinion,

LadyT:

Stephen don't please. Leave it  

LadyT:

Stephen don't please. Leave it  


I just realised who Antidote was.  Her and 4Him have a long history

I just hope we don't turn this into a Islander and 4Him WWpart 78!

4 Him:

nah, 4 Him is a new man . . . i've got better things to do than scuffle with intellectual dwarfs who think shouting is synonymous with debating.

Back to topic please.