Muslim Sisters Circle - Islam for Muslims (4) - Nairaland
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| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Sissie(f): 10:40am On Sep 19, 2013 |
ameenahz: Salam sister I pray you ace the exam. I think the most important is following the rules of hijab irrespective of the type you choose, be it khimar, jilbab, abaya, flowing skirts e.t.c. different organizations with its rules, and you have to dress to suit the job interview (within the limits set by Islam). 1 Like |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Nobody: 4:37pm On Sep 19, 2013 |
ameenahz:funny you. Lol Pipo get jobs wit dia jilbaab/ hijab sef. Lemme even ask, if ur field is ol dis uniform job related( in dat case u know d hijab falls in line wit org dress code; for example u c doctors dat use jilbaab have to start thinking of using khimaar n skirt, nurses can't use jilbaab on dia uniform; it is above d shoulder khimaar if dey r interested in clinical practice) but if it is an administrative work, I don't tink d use of jilbaab is totally ruled out( notice I used d word totally, of course some organization wouldn't want to take dem, in dat case it means dey r not taking dem cos dey r muslims) There's dis story of a bro I know(abi heard sef) he was invited for interview, and cos of dis d bro had shaved his beard. The peeps were like he was actually called cos of his beard, they felt he was d God-fearing type... To cut d story short sha, he didn't get d job. Errm abt ur level of faith, I aint judging ur level of imaan o. I'm just tryn to encourage u. All d best 2 Likes |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by harmeenart(f): 11:18pm On Sep 19, 2013 |
ameenahz:Assalam alaykum.I think u should stick to what u wear,prepare very very well for the interview then put ur total trust in Allah.If u dress d way they want on that day,do you think they would ever accept you with your jilbaab when you start work?U might have to continue dressing that way to work forever.Compromising still doesn't guarantee u d job sef.Remember the hadith of d prophet dat states that whatever Allah has destined for you will never pass you by,and whatever isn't yours won't reach you. My dear sister,this might even be a test from Allah to see how tough u can be.Try to stabilize ur eeman by putting it at the back of ur mind that whatever happens to a muslim is best for him.May Allah make us steadfast on the straight part.Amin And as for getting a job with the jilbaab,YES,but it might not be easy.Most jilbaab sisters I know are self employed and a few number work with government establishments.Its actually not easy securing jobs with a jilbaab,I must confess. Just put in ur best and rely solely on Allah as d director of your affairs.I pray Allah eases our affairs and grants us the best in both lives.Amin 3 Likes |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by CERKEYNAH: 1:45pm On Sep 30, 2013 |
Hello sisters, hope dis is not late, @ ameenahs and every1 dt as contributed. @ ameenahs, our society allows jilbab, just very few though. I'll advise dt u dress d normal way u dress or u dress in a way oda sister suggested dt's if u're ready to start dressing lyk. Buh above all, it shld be in comformity wt islamic modest way. Again, wot will be best 4 u n ur deen will not leave U n vice versa so I'll advise u just be ursef, prepare very well 4 d job as well as d interview, present ursef intelligently. In Shaa Allah all will be well. Finally, we sisters shld consider establish oursef n be our. Own enterpreneur by starting small, not just selling of islamic attire, a lot of pple had venture into it. Let's be creative. May Allah increase us in Eman |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by ummsulaym(f): 6:30pm On Oct 11, 2013 |
my beloved sisters, assalamu aleikum, I really love this thread and do hope it will achieve the reason for which it was created i.e learning and sharing in shaa Allah... I need an advice but before i ask, i want to state that am aware of the rulings of Islam on the issues of women and non-mahrams but something is not clear and now the issue is ''In school, I study with a non-mahram and I study at night because I assimilate better at night but the study is done in a big hall where other students come to read over-night too... My sister kicked against it even though she knew my reasons'' the question now is what's your take on that? You may want to know somethings before answering me so pls, feel free to ask 'any' question and by Allah, I'll answer in truth... Jazakallahu khayran!!! |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Sissie(f): 9:01pm On Oct 11, 2013 |
ummsulaym: my beloved sisters, assalamu aleikum, Wa alaykum salam, do you have to study with the non mahram? Why don't you have a female study partner? |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by deols(f): 9:07pm On Oct 11, 2013 |
Since there are many other people in the hall, I see nothing wrong with it. Just make sure you are never alone with him. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by kubby04: 12:18am On Oct 12, 2013 |
Asalamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatu. I'm so glad I found dis interesting site. May Allah reward those behind it. On d issue of Mahram,my sister(& her 2kids) wouldn't travel down home wit her brother-in-law and his family cos he cnt be her Mahram(even wit her husband's consent),cos he ws travelling. People wit more knowledge HELP! |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by ummsulaym(f): 4:25am On Oct 12, 2013 |
Sissie: |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by ummsulaym(f): 4:39am On Oct 12, 2013 |
@sister Deols, Kubby and Sissy: jazakallahu khayr [quote author=Sissie] The ratio of males to females in my school is like 10:1... Though that doesnt make it impossible for me to get a female study partner *who must be from same dept and level* but we have very few ladies and they live far from school, so they don't come to school @ night even the one who is a muslim and leave nearby says she only read when she has test, exam or quiz... The main reason is that those 'classy chics' do not really mingle much with the hijabi sisters especially if yours is the full lenght... |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Nobody: 5:06am On Oct 12, 2013 |
kubby04: Asalamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatu. I'm so glad I found dis interesting site. May Allah reward those behind it. On d issue of Mahram,my sister(& her 2kids) wouldn't travel down home wit her brother-in-law and his family cos he cnt be her Mahram(even wit her husband's consent),cos he ws travelling. People wit more knowledge HELP![quote author=kubby04]Asalamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatu. I'm so glad I found dis interesting site. May Allah reward those behind it. i dont know, i found this 1. What is the position of a woman when her husband invites his brother to dinner, does she eat dinner with them, can she serve him? 2. Is the husbands brother maharam, can she travel with him? Praise be to Allaah. 1. A wife is permitted to serve her husband and his guests if she is wearing complete hijaab and nothing of her body can be seen. She is also permitted to sit with them so long as there is no sitting alone with one non-mahram* man, wanton display or other cause of temptation involved. As far as eating with them is concerned, if this involves uncovering some part of her body, then she should not eat with them. 2. The husband's brother is not a mahram. The various types of mahram have been described in the Qur'aan, and this matter has already been explained under question # 316. On this basis, it is not permitted for her to travel with him. In view of the seriousness of the matter of non-mahram men, especially the husband's relatives, entering upon women, and the fact that so many people take this matter lightly, there follow a few words of important advice: Warning against non-mahram relatives entering upon women in the absence of their husbands Some homes are not free of the presence of relatives of the husband who are not mahrams of his wife. They may be living with him for a number of reasons, such as brothers who are students or bachelors. These men enter the house without there being any sense of something strange, because they are known to the neighbours as relatives of the head of the household. The neighbours know that this is a brother, or nephew or uncle. This casual approach leads to many immoral deeds that earn the wrath of Allaah because the limits that He has prescribed are not being adhered to. The basic principle in this matter should be the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "Beware of entering upon women." A man of the Ansaar asked, "O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think about the brother-in-law?" He said, "The brother-in-law is death." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 9/330) Al-Nawawi, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: This hadeeth refers to all the relatives of the husband apart from his father and sons, who are mahrams for the wife and she is allowed to be alone with them; they are not described as "death." It refers to the brother, nephew, uncle, cousin and other relatives of the husband whom she would be permitted to marry if she were not already married. Because people customarily treat this matter so lightly, and a man may sit alone with his brother's wife, the brother-in-law is likened to death, and he is the foremost among non-mahram men who should be prevented from doing so. The expression "the brother-in-law is death" may have a number of meanings, such as the following: That being alone with a brother-in-law may lead to religious doom if it results in sin. That it may lead to actual death if an immoral deed is committed that dictates the punishment of stoning. That it may spell disaster for the woman if her husband's jealousy leads to divorce. That you should fear being alone with a non-mahram woman as much as you fear death. That being alone with a non-mahram woman is as terrible as death. All of this stems from the fact that Islam wants to preserve families and households, and prevent anything that could lead to their destruction. What do you say now, after hearing the warning of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about those husbands who say to their wives: "If my brother comes and I am not here, show him into the sitting-room" or a woman who says to a male visitor: "Go into the sitting room" - when there is no-one else present in the house? To those who take the idea of trustworthiness as an excuse, and say things like, "I trust my wife and I trust my brother or my cousin," we say: do not trust too much and do not doubt too much, but know that the hadeeth "No man sits alone with a (non-mahram) woman, but the Shaytaan is the third among them" (reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1171) includes both the most righteous of people as well as the most immoral of people, and that Islam makes no exceptions whatsoever in such reports. A real problem This is the problem: a man marries a woman and brings her to his family's home, where she lives happily with him, then his younger brother starts to enter upon her when her husband is absent, and they begin to talk in an affectionate or even passionate manner. This leads to two things: she begins to detest her husband, and grows attached to his brother, but she cannot divorce her husband, or do what she wants to with the other. This is the grievous torment. This story represents one aspect of corruption, besides which are other kinds which reach the level of immoral sexual conduct and illegitimate children. In answer to the second question, a woman is not permitted to travel with her husband's brother, who is not her mahram, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A woman should not travel unless she is with a mahram, and no man should enter upon a woman unless she has a mahram with her." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 1729). Among the conditions of a mahram for travel purposes are: he should be someone whom she is permanently forbidden to marry, such as her grandfather, father, brother, paternal uncle, nephew, etc. And Allaah knows best. * Translator's note: "mahram" refers to a blood-relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden, such as a woman's father, brother, son, uncle, etc. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid[left][/left] |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Sissie(f): 7:18am On Oct 12, 2013 |
ummsulaym: @sister Deols, Kubby and Sissy: jazakallahu khayr Since you can't easily get a female reading partner and the hall is filled with others who came to read, I think it's ok, like deols said just make sure your not alone with him. Wa yakkum. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Sissie(f): 7:23am On Oct 12, 2013 |
kubby04: Asalamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatu. I'm so glad I found dis interesting site. May Allah reward those behind it. On d issue of Mahram,my sister(& her 2kids) wouldn't travel down home wit her brother-in-law and his family cos he cnt be her Mahram(even wit her husband's consent),cos he ws travelling. People wit more knowledge HELP! Wa alaykum salam. Amin. True her brother in-law is not her mahram, and ideally a Muslim woman should travel with her mahram, and I was also told in the situation when there's no mahram, she can travel with other sisters in a group. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Nobody: 10:42am On Oct 12, 2013 |
Sissie: jst adding, u mite also still want 2 consider other options that can get u a female study patner too, but if not then perhaps u mte want to avoid at night,(issues lyk, returning back 2 room from hall, pple end up not coming 1 nite nd its jst u two) nd i think u can also find another lady too to join in d studying too, cos no matter what, u know none of us is free from temptation, we only pray Allah saves us from it. nd #sis, lets not forget islamic etiquettes ...dressing, manner of talking, keep enough distance...`~~~ |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by tbaba1234: 2:41pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
Sissie: I am sorry to intrude but i'd just make a brief comment. It is not ok at all, There is something absolutely wrong with this. Last week, i was reading a story about this, the exact same thing. Sister was studying all the time with a non-muslim/mahram but as it usually goes, she begins to build strong feelings. Ofcourse, she doesn't tell him. Then, one day he tells her that he likes her. She gets really confused and she writes seeking advice on what to do. It is a messy situation because we are talking emotions here. The more time you spend with him, the more likely this is. At least for one of you. Hopefully, you have not started having those feelings. This is not right at all. Please find girlfriends to read with or read alone. 3 Likes |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by deols(f): 8:45pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
the best thing is to find someone else to join at it. If you are three, things are better. I don't buy the idea of them having feelings as a reason to keep away. You have feelings when you want to. and what if she does have the feelings and it leads them to something good? Are we going to keep away from everyone for fears of having feelings?. In fact they don't even need to have this tutorial together before feelings can develop. It appears extreme to even assume that that can happen. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by tbaba1234: 9:01pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
deols: the best thing is to find someone else to join at it. If you are three, things are better. Simply observing the limits. Free-mixing with non-mahram is not acceptable so whether they are having tutorials or not does not matter. It is not extreme at all, actually it happens all the time. The man's brain is differently wired form that of a woman, that is why a man and a woman can not be 'just friends'. It doesn't work. Only girls seem to think, this works. This video was an experiment in this regard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA Notice the response of the guys when the girls were not there. That is how 80% of men think. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by ummsulaym(f): 9:28pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
ibit-abid-qudrt: conscious of that... One cannot be conscious enough though, but am trying... Shukraan jazeelan |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by deols(f): 9:46pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
tbaba1234: I can not see it now. I dont think that Islam is against one on one interactions between a man and a woman when they are not behind closed doors. But maybe because they would be seeing each other for long is the reason it is being viewed in this manner. That they may have feelings is really somehow to me. That it happened in A case does not mean it has to apply with everyone. It sounds even ridiculous- like someone cannot contain their emotions and falling for whoever they have long interactions with. She is in school now but will eventually find herself in a larger society with co workers. Would it be right to assume that she'd get into a feelings having spree? Is having feelings even haram. provide proof please, if yes. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Sissie(f): 10:03pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
If you say they shouldn't study together in public because they are non mahram, that I understand, but because they will develop feelings to me isn't, they can develop feelings even without studying. Are we to run away from feelings, you made it sound like developing feelings is wrong, how then do people get married? |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by ummsulaym(f): 10:05pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
To my sisters and bro tbaba, I appreciate... @sis sissy & sis Deol, regarding this issue, my sister and bro Tbaba think a same direction. I remember telling her she was extreme the day she aired her thoughts to me when I told her what happened in class that noon... What simply happened was that after lecture that day, I was packing to leave the hall when my reading mate saw a sister with a short hijab and he called my attention to her after which he said ''To me that girl is modest enough. With that lenght and who you are, you will still remain that muslimah u want to be.'' I just smiled and told him I'm aiming higher... When i got to the masjid for zuhr, I told my sister jokingly but hey, she understood it 'upside down' and told me she is smelling a rat. I was angry and told her she was extreme and that the rat she smells doesnt and wont exist... @bro Tbaba, but sincerely, none of us think that side @ all not even for once... His behavior is not questionable too... |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by tbaba1234: 10:07pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
deols: This was written earlier: Please see it when you can. It will probably give you some insight into what i am talking about. You have to understand male psychology. It is like playing with fire and expecting not to get burnt. She does not have to read with this man, there are surely several options. It is not a necessity In the Sharia, Allah addresses norms not exceptions. If a boy feels he can be with a girl chatting without any thing towards her. He is not the norm, he is the exception.... The sharia deals with the norm not the exceptions. Islam also says do not go near any forms of shamelessness. Not just Zina. Zina is extreme point but there are steps to Zina. It is one thing to greet and say salam to a work colleague... It is another to to be involved in long discussions/gist with a non mahram. There should be limits if you are not related. That is not right. 1 – Haram gaze. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal intimate acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do. 31. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts (from illegal intimate acts) and not to show off their adornment except that which is apparent…” [al-Noor 24:30-31] In Saheeh Muslim (2159) it is narrated that Jareer ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: I asked the Messenger of blessings of Allaah be upon him) about an accidental glance and he ordered me to avert my gaze. How do you avert your gaze when you are chit-chatting? What about the other person? 2 – It may result in haraam touching., which includes shaking Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” Narrated by Tabaraani from Ma’qil classed as saheeh by Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 5045. 3. Another of its evil consequences is when a man becomes infatuated with a woman, or vice versa, which is due to mixing and prolonged interaction. It is important to note that there is another extreme to this, where they do not even interact with any female. It is important that we do not go into extremes because if you close the doors to what is permissible, people will transgress. There was interaction and communication between genders at the time of the prophet BUT it was respectful and limited to what was necessary. We are not permitted to be in solitude, or to flirt or to expose anything from our hijab (boys and girls). So what if your intentions are pure? something wrong with my intentions are pure is the fact that you do not know the intention of the other person. Men and women are wired differently. A guy would understand this better. As long as, a man is biologically a man, he is attracted to a woman. Sometimes, we are not what you think, we are. Allah addresses the norms not the exceptions. Even when it comes to marriage, the model islam provides means you engage your brain before your heart. 1 Like |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by tbaba1234: 10:09pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
^ copied from the singles thread |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by tbaba1234: 10:16pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
ummsulaym: To my sisters and bro tbaba, I appreciate... His behaviour does not have to be questionable. Men are not always what you think we are. How do you know his thoughts? |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Sissie(f): 10:18pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
May Allah (SWT) increase our iman and make us better muslims. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by tbaba1234: 10:24pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
Sissie: If you say they shouldn't study together in public because they are non mahram, that I understand, but because they will develop feelings to me isn't, they can develop feelings even without studying. The bolded is enough for this to stop. I only gave an example that happened recently. Are they ready for marriage? Two young people with feelings not ready for marriage and seeing each other regularly is a recipe for disaster. Is it more likely for people who are always together to develop feelings?? |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by ummsulaym(f): 10:37pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
Sissie: May Allah (SWT) increase our iman and make us better muslims. ameen... When ASUU/FG free us to go back to school, I will have to learn reading alone esp @ night cuz day just doesnt work for me... Am not scared of 'zina' trap but just to avoid ambiguities... I pray it works this time cuz when my sis literally compelled me to stop, I tried but just couldn't cuz nothing was working... Thanks for your contributions and pls, remember me in your prayers... |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by tbaba1234: 10:45pm On Oct 12, 2013 |
ummsulaym: We are similar, i prefer reading at night. I am a bit nocturnal. Please make it work this time. May Allah grant you the best, my sister. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Nobody: 7:23am On Oct 13, 2013 |
Sissie:[quote author=Sissie] actually, a woman cant travel in the company of other sisters, mahram(maening a male person she is forbidden to marry or her husband). but as Allah has made it easy for us, mahram extends to her brothers, her husband's father(even if one's divorced d son), her father's brothers, her foster suckling brothers..., lyk that.... i dont know if d sis can try possibilities of other mahrams first, May Allah provide the path of abiding by His rules at ease for us. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by Sissie(f): 10:38am On Oct 13, 2013 |
[quote author=ibit-abid-qudrt][/quote] There are rare situation when a woman has no mahram, yes has no mahram, and in such cases the woman can travel in a group, I have forgotten my references and will check for it. |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by ummsulaym(f): 3:02pm On Oct 13, 2013 |
tbaba1234: And you too bro... Ameen |
| Re: Muslim Sisters Circle by ummsulaym(f): 3:17pm On Oct 13, 2013 |
mahram issue... In a situation where someone from your husband family(a male) lives with you and your husband, he isn't your mahram but because he still underage makes him one... Years later, he's matured enough and normally, if he was an outsider, you should not display your adorements before him nor come in physical contact with him or staying alone with him in a place but since he grew up under your custody and now turned a non-mahram but yet, lives with you, being on hijab 247 in your husband's house wont just work neither will staying in ur room 247 just to avoid being together when ur hubby goes out and some other stuffs like that... What's your advice under this circumstance? Send him out or live such a pressurizing life in your habibi's house? |
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