Chillisauce:

Especially in Nigeria where jobs are limited. Working free increases your chance to build your CV, gain experience and most times if you are dedicated,the company tends to consider and give you an offer.

Cathaliya:
Thank God I get immunity over any harsh condition..... It is well, even in the well.

Chillisauce: Don't worry, some that are here raining insults might be a chicken real life. No be nairaland again.
Where everyone Is a Lion

2s£xy:


Based on naija blood... E dey your body sef.

Cathaliya:
I was born into it...studied under it..and now, I am living it.

Abum akwa okwulu...

francafrank: Maybe the originator of this thread should do another one on abuse. it looks like we have missed the point here.

alutacontinua:

I think it's better if she comes in here herself!
I cannot assure u dt pple wld not pounce on her, but I can assure u dt some pple are willing to help!
Just prepare her mind dt stuffs happen on here but she shld focus on d good part. Dats all!

swag queen: ^^^^^^ i quickly told her that as long as Jesus lives,i'll never suffer with my children! My mum has made that much clear to me. Everybody's in support of my decision now. I thank God for the will to take this bold step!


All these courage,na for nairaland i get am o! To think that i didn't know this kind of forum ever existed. Na my sis monicker i dey use sef! Lol. The devil is a biiiigggg liar

Ayee Idris: Last week, a friend confided in me that her husband was hitting her. I directed her to this page hoping she can get some info/relief or guidance. She just got back to me saying that "abuse" on the page isn't what she had in mind. I didn't get her until I read all the pages. If every victim of abuse is going to be this scrutinized,doubted and judged, there is no way anyone is going to participate. A new thread has to be created. One clean of all tthe side talks, insults and judgmental people and one that won't be on the front page. IMO

Merkki: Shame on all the fighters on this thread. Big shame!

pickabeau1: Soffri sofri

Una don turn this thread to gist hangout

Ok ooo

francafrank: Maybe the originator of this thread should do another one on abuse. it looks like we have missed the point here.

Icherishu: I don't even know how to direct my cousin who is abuse to this thread with all the insults abs abuse going on hear. I really wish she can come in read this because I don't really know how to help her again. The hubby hit her again on Sunday, slapped her on both sides of her face. Now she can't face the sun and she can't bite anything with the jaw. I spoke with her this morning and she doesn't even want to discuss with the mum. She traveled for a program at home. Told her to use this opportunity to discuss with the mum, but she refuse saying the mum will start thinking. I don't know how to help her again. First, I counsel that since the man has a bad temper she should learn to ignore when he starts ranting but she wouldn't hear. To me if she response, the man will use the opportunity to say she is disrespectful and hit her. For now, she isn't working and I wouldn't know whether she likes being at home. Though she is learning a skill now after 7 years of being tormented in that marriage. I really feel for her because if I were to be in her shoes, I sure know I wouldn't be able to take that kind of abuse.

@all let's come in and offer help to her. I will relay every advice to her.

uchetobi:

pls she should stay of this thread!

uchetobi: She also needs to get a defense tool e.g. pepper spray or something to have handy!!! just in case it gets out of control and she cannot get herself physically out for any reason.

swag queen: It is with nostalgia that i remember the 18th day of September when i sat on my bed,thought of the entire situation that i was in and decided to bring my story to a public forum.

I've always wanted to speak out so that Women and men would listen,learn and live. I thank God immensely for this platform.

Before i brought my story here,i read through the posts of certain people on this forum that i admired greatly. I sent PMs to them but none responded except one man. He gave me the needed strength to be here today. He spoke to me and encouraged me. He asked me to separate for sometime and i was strong again. (Madam C.C had just arrived in Nigeria and the network was messed up and she couldn't reply on time). I want to say that i know people don't like responding to PMs,but you never know who's life depends on your response. At some point,i was feeling suicidal because i don't have friends and my mum who i confide in thinks i should "stay for the kids". My sister who has been my paddy would say "i told you!". It was that man who gave me the much needed strength.

I want to thank EVERYONE who came out for me and my fellow women in this bondage. I can't mention all the names but if you are oppurtuned to go through tis thread from page 1,you will see the love we got. God will bless all of you in His infinite mercy and meet you at the points of your needs. IJN,AMEN.

There are usually fights in every family talk more of a family as big as the one i see here. Please let no one be afraid of letting off the pain she feels in an abusive marriage or relationship here. There are people willing and able to help.

If you don't want to tell your story,it's your call but I'll encourage you to read from the first page to the last one. Wise and Godly counsel is here.

Once again,i say a very biiigg THANK YOU. I love you all more than words can say.

God bless. (^{This is not my suicide note o.})

Royal Roy:

Beautiful Response!!

@Eugene, I guess you have got some answers to your troubled mind here.
Feel free to ask more if you wanna.

@All Abused Men, this thread is opened for you too, as the title suggests.

eugene.darron:


I have already solved this issue and the problem no longer exists. I packed my belongings, her family intervened before I left, and after several hours of chit chat, they persuaded her to see reason (so they say). I did however get all of my demands met, I am no longer saddled with the overwhelming portion of the bills and the house is on hold. Her father spoke to her at length about herself and her actions and how she was being. I seems to have worked because I have not had a problem with it since this occurred. Thank you for your comments, her affliction was that she was attempting to gain the life that she saw in Naija movies that some of the characters had due to her family here mistreating her. I am however adding to my hidden assets just in case it is time to leave.
Also, I think the reality of me leaving was something that set into her very badly. She did not think I would, she also did not think I would stop contributing assets to her. I can be just as vengeful when I make up my mind to be, I just try not to because it is hard to stop once you get going.

theLORDreigns:

Congratulations Mr. Eugene!
Way to go!!!
At the bold, very smart move. Most abusive partners have a tendency to pretend when they realise that they might lose their victims, & just when you think they've changed for good, they just snap back to their old ways. Keep a watch on her every move just till you're sure that she's genuine.

A 33 year old man, Sunday Eze is on the run after murdering his wife with acid, on Friday October 11th.
Sunday Eze who hails from Obiofia Nnewichi Nnewi in Anambra State, went to his father-in-law's house at Edoji Uruagu to see his 23-yr-old estranged wife, Ebere Eze (Nee Agwuncha) who had moved back to her father's house after a quarrel with her husband.
The victim's in-law said Sunday came to the house that Friday and claimed he had recently bought new plots of land he wanted his wife to see, he managed to convince Ebere to go with him to go see the land.
The clueless Ebere who never suspected anything followed her husband and as they approached Oraifite/Ichi axis in Ekwusigo Local Government, Sunday Eze turned on his wife and attacked her.
He beat her with iron, poured acid on her and then forced some of the acid down her throat.
It was her sreaming that attracted some policemen who were passing by the area but by then, her attacker was long gone.
m.naij.com/news/49706.html

uchetobi:

pls she should stay of this thread! the advice you have given her is on point...since the man have anger issues and no self control...immediately he starts she needs to get herself out of the vicinity physically!!! this cannot be over emphasized before the man kils her


She also needs to get a defense tool e.g. pepper spray or something to have handy!!! just in case it gets out of control and she cannot get herself physically out for any reason

good for her that she is learning a skill, she and every woman needs to be able to fend for her/themselves...the less dependent you are on any human being especially financially the more equipped the person is to walk out of a bad situation

Lastly, she needs to speak up, involve her parents or family and his as well.. the biggest mistake in an abusive situation is to keep quiet,...most abusers are banking on the fact that you are too ashamed to speak out...I perfectly understand not wanting to involve her mother because mothers tend to overworry a lot but she needs to believe that the last thing her mom wants to see is her dead body! pls her safety comes first

p.s you never said if she has kids for this man

Icherishu:

Yes she has two kids for this man. When she had one, I told her to put it on hold and find a job to do but she was busy worrying herself that she wants to have another one. The second one came and the child is almost 2years now and she is already worried that she wants to have another one. She says she wants to have her children at once. I told her she needs to be financially independent. I must tell you it isn't only physical abuse but verbal and emotional abuse. I have told her repeatedly that the solution to her problem is in her hands. Well thank God that she has started learning a skill and I pray she will put the pregnancy on hold.

kreami diva:

Maybe she hopes the situation will change for the best. She should confide in her mum.