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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! (114368 Views)
Can A Physically Abused Woman In A Marriage Work Things Out With Her Husband ? / Help! I Am Being Physically Abused By My Wife! What Will I Do? / Wives, Girlfriends, Partners Please Tell Me You All Have Experienced This Too. . (2) (3) (4)
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Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 1:25pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Exactly... But not many people realised it. If one has poor grade, it is also an effective method to break into the industry; over my period on nairaland, I learnt that method here from various testimonies. Though it won't be easy but one can use it to build solid network, not just CV but also related, effective and needed skills to operate within one's specific field. It works because it's FREE and it is cost-effective in terms of operations to companies and firms, a win-win. Aunty me, you no like free things? We all do... The sad part is that so many NIGERIAN graduates do not know this. Thank God for nairaland. Chillisauce: |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 1:29pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Based on naija blood... E dey your body sef. Cathaliya: |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 1:37pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Chillisauce: Don't worry, some that are here raining insults might be a chicken real life. No be nairaland again. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 1:40pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
You just sent me a PM. Please note that PMs don't get to me cos I have deactivated the email attached to this handle. My email is doyen2fine gmail.com once I get your email, I will delete it from here. You know yourself, buddy. Thanks. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 1:43pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
2s£xy:I was born into it...studied under it..and now, I am living it. Abum akwa okwulu... |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 2:09pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
You can survive anywhere in world. Cathaliya: |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by pickabeau1: 2:10pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Soffri sofri Una don turn this thread to gist hangout Ok ooo |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 3:10pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
chai, sorri o... |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by francafrank(f): 3:23pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Maybe the originator of this thread should do another one on abuse. it looks like we have missed the point here. 3 Likes |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Prettielle(f): 4:00pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
bia! umu gals a unu tk kwa time here..unu ge gbu mmadu ebea.. Ochiatogbuem na threadia. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by swagqueen(f): 4:05pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
francafrank: Maybe the originator of this thread should do another one on abuse. it looks like we have missed the point here. Aunty Franca, loooong time. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 4:14pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
alutacontinua: I have talked to her before about this site, I didn't see her making any effort. Just that I am hurt if not I would have left her alone. I will still discuss with her over the issue. Thanks all the same |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by yummyMummy(f): 5:39pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
U have actually taken a bold step to freedom and unstoppable happiness. Concrats. swag queen: ^^^^^^ i quickly told her that as long as Jesus lives,i'll never suffer with my children! My mum has made that much clear to me. Everybody's in support of my decision now. I thank God for the will to take this bold step! |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by uchetobi(f): 7:29pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Ayee Idris: Last week, a friend confided in me that her husband was hitting her. I directed her to this page hoping she can get some info/relief or guidance. She just got back to me saying that "abuse" on the page isn't what she had in mind. I didn't get her until I read all the pages. If every victim of abuse is going to be this scrutinized,doubted and judged, there is no way anyone is going to participate. A new thread has to be created. One clean of all tthe side talks, insults and judgmental people and one that won't be on the front page. IMO Merkki: Shame on all the fighters on this thread. Big shame! pickabeau1: Soffri sofri francafrank: Maybe the originator of this thread should do another one on abuse. it looks like we have missed the point here. this thread is so so so important especially for women in Nigeria...it is a big shame how it has become trivialized....a big shame really 3 Likes |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by uchetobi(f): 7:35pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Icherishu: I don't even know how to direct my cousin who is abuse to this thread with all the insults abs abuse going on hear. I really wish she can come in read this because I don't really know how to help her again. The hubby hit her again on Sunday, slapped her on both sides of her face. Now she can't face the sun and she can't bite anything with the jaw. I spoke with her this morning and she doesn't even want to discuss with the mum. She traveled for a program at home. Told her to use this opportunity to discuss with the mum, but she refuse saying the mum will start thinking. I don't know how to help her again. First, I counsel that since the man has a bad temper she should learn to ignore when he starts ranting but she wouldn't hear. To me if she response, the man will use the opportunity to say she is disrespectful and hit her. For now, she isn't working and I wouldn't know whether she likes being at home. Though she is learning a skill now after 7 years of being tormented in that marriage. I really feel for her because if I were to be in her shoes, I sure know I wouldn't be able to take that kind of abuse. pls she should stay of this thread! the advice you have given her is on point...since the man have anger issues and no self control...immediately he starts she needs to get herself out of the vicinity physically!!! this cannot be over emphasized before the man kils her She also needs to get a defense tool e.g. pepper spray or something to have handy!!! just in case it gets out of control and she cannot get herself physically out for any reason good for her that she is learning a skill, she and every woman needs to be able to fend for her/themselves...the less dependent you are on any human being especially financially the more equipped the person is to walk out of a bad situation Lastly, she needs to speak up, involve her parents or family and his as well.. the biggest mistake in an abusive situation is to keep quiet,...most abusers are banking on the fact that you are too ashamed to speak out...I perfectly understand not wanting to involve her mother because mothers tend to overworry a lot but she needs to believe that the last thing her mom wants to see is her dead body! pls her safety comes first p.s you never said if she has kids for this man 3 Likes |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 7:47pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
3 Likes |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Vure(f): 8:23pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Awww... See what our beautiful thread has turned into. Not nice! |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by swagqueen(f): 8:39pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
uchetobi: I don't think so. uchetobi: She also needs to get a defense tool e.g. pepper spray or something to have handy!!! just in case it gets out of control and she cannot get herself physically out for any reason. This one got me cracking. Biko where i fit get the pepper spray? |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by swagqueen(f): 9:45pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
It is with nostalgia that i remember the 18th day of September when i sat on my bed,thought of the entire situation that i was in and decided to bring my story to a public forum. I've always wanted to speak out so that Women and men would listen,learn and live. I thank God immensely for this platform. Before i brought my story here,i read through the posts of certain people on this forum that i admired greatly. I sent PMs to them but none responded except one man. He gave me the needed strength to be here today. He spoke to me and encouraged me. He asked me to separate for sometime and i was strong again. (Madam C.C had just arrived in Nigeria and the network was messed up and she couldn't reply on time). I want to say that i know people don't like responding to PMs,but you never know who's life depends on your response. At some point,i was feeling suicidal because i don't have friends and my mum who i confide in thinks i should "stay for the kids". My sister who has been my paddy would say "i told you!". It was that man who gave me the much needed strength. I want to thank EVERYONE who came out for me and my fellow women in this bondage. I can't mention all the names but if you are oppurtuned to go through tis thread from page 1,you will see the love we got. God will bless all of you in His infinite mercy and meet you at the points of your needs. IJN,AMEN. There are usually fights in every family talk more of a family as big as the one i see here. Please let no one be afraid of letting off the pain she feels in an abusive marriage or relationship here. There are people willing and able to help. If you don't want to tell your story,it's your call but I'll encourage you to read from the first page to the last one. Wise and Godly counsel is here. Once again,i say a very biiigg THANK YOU. I love you all more than words can say. God bless. (This is not my suicide note o.) 12 Likes |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Les: 10:30pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
this is the sound of victory, yeyyeyeyeyeyeye ye I can see the colors of the rainbow.. swag queen: It is with nostalgia that i remember the 18th day of September when i sat on my bed,thought of the entire situation that i was in and decided to bring my story to a public forum.lalala lalala lalala Lala x3 amenmmmn. 1 Like |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 10:50pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
Swag queen, have you separated from him now? How are you coping with the kids currently? Is he trying to bully you into coming back? I know you are working on getting a job and getting independent but I may have missed the status of the relationship right now. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Tgirl4real(f): 11:21pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
@ OP, is this the end of the thread now? Do u wanna close it, so that we can open a new one and link it up? |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by eugenedarron(m): 1:10am On Oct 18, 2013 |
Royal Roy: I have already solved this issue and the problem no longer exists. I packed my belongings, her family intervened before I left, and after several hours of chit chat, they persuaded her to see reason (so they say). I did however get all of my demands met, I am no longer saddled with the overwhelming portion of the bills and the house is on hold. Her father spoke to her at length about herself and her actions and how she was being. I seems to have worked because I have not had a problem with it since this occurred. Thank you for your comments, her affliction was that she was attempting to gain the life that she saw in Naija movies that some of the characters had due to her family here mistreating her. I am however adding to my hidden assets just in case it is time to leave. Also, I think the reality of me leaving was something that set into her very badly. She did not think I would, she also did not think I would stop contributing assets to her. I can be just as vengeful when I make up my mind to be, I just try not to because it is hard to stop once you get going. 7 Likes |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 5:30am On Oct 18, 2013 |
eugene.darron: Congratulations Mr. Eugene! Way to go!!! At the bold, very smart move. Most abusive partners have a tendency to pretend when they realise that they might lose their victims, & just when you think they've changed for good, they just snap back to their old ways. Keep a watch on her every move just till you're sure that she's genuine. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by kreamidiva(f): 6:06am On Oct 18, 2013 |
theLORDreigns: Gbam Gbammer Gbammest!!! |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by passionate88: 6:27am On Oct 18, 2013 |
Beware, that reconciliation might just be a smokescreen. I remembered a movie I watched with my mom "Sleeping with the enemy" starring Julia Roberts, I was a kid then but I still recollect some scenes from that movie. The little I know about abusers is that when/if there victim(wife) flee from them, they will do whatever it takes and say whatever people wants to hear just to get her back and when they are back, the abuse continues. They would rather see the wife dead than be happy. Some men are just SICK A 33 year old man, Sunday Eze is on the run after murdering his wife with acid, on Friday October 11th. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 8:05am On Oct 18, 2013 |
2 Likes |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 8:36am On Oct 18, 2013 |
uchetobi: Yes she has two kids for this man. When she had one, I told her to put it on hold and find a job to do but she was busy worrying herself that she wants to have another one. The second one came and the child is almost 2years now and she is already worried that she wants to have another one. She says she wants to have her children at once. I told her she needs to be financially independent. I must tell you it isn't only physical abuse but verbal and emotional abuse. I have told her repeatedly that the solution to her problem is in her hands. Well thank God that she has started learning a skill and I pray she will put the pregnancy on hold. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by kreamidiva(f): 9:21am On Oct 18, 2013 |
Icherishu: Maybe she hopes the situation will change for the best. She should confide in her mum. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Nobody: 9:43am On Oct 18, 2013 |
kreami diva: She has told her mum before but the woman is usually very worried. The man will call sometimes to talk to the mum but not to beg o and he will use style to send her money. The woman rejected his money the last time he beat her and says if it is the money that is making him to beat the daughter, he should keep it. He was mad and was abusing the wife and her family. See that man it is only God that will change him. She has written him off but am not seeing her with the courage to walk away. |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by Cathaliya: 10:14am On Oct 18, 2013 |
hmm, all these talk for person no too dey work o. somwetimes, that tiny insult can be motivating o. me don experience am, but not in this context sha |
Re: For Abused Wives, Girlfriends & Men!!! by francafrank(f): 10:19am On Oct 18, 2013 |
Read this please and reply on the basis of fact, experience or measurable quality. Is it an abuse for a wife/girlfriend/ man/hussy/boyfrend to be denied good, pleasurable quality sex? i got this question during counseling and i was lost for a suitable reply. could you help? |
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