@
deen4me & mr aboki, jazakumlahu khairan. @ deols, i agree wt u bt
nt until i say ds, plz dont lets mix up issues, u talkd about societal
ills arising 4rm taking a 2nd on lustful grnd.
1) i thnk it is impossible to marry some1 cos of lust, cos lust is jes
dt u wana av sex, das all, but to marry because of beauty is by far
possible and permisibble in islam, jes lyk deen4me as rightly put it,
and its actually impossible 4 anyone to say authoritatively dt anoda
person is marryn on d grnds of beauty alone, as intention cannt be seen.
2) societal ills, lyk u said. it is tru dt some undesired thngs may
arise out of polygamy, but lets be carefull so that we dont see wot is
meant 2 be TRIAL 4rm God as EVIL. i believe that anyone who does a thng
4 d wrong reasons and in the wrong way would surely face a lot of prob.
if u thnk avn 1 wife is problem & 2 is more prob, so be it, if u
thnk odawise, so be it. i also thnk dt nt all men are actually fit to
marry a 2nd wife.

G.12:
Don't let ur religion enslave u. Convert to christianity if you want to be free. I already felt sorry for you, judging from the tone of confusion and bitterness in your writeup

And christianity have not enslaved you??

Confused fellow.

Divorce is NOT allow in bad marriage - christianity

Look @OP let me tell you this.

In Islam, a woman has right to make decisions for her needs in advance. The issue of marrying 4 wives is not obligatory because the only verse that is used to back this practice is verse 3 of Surat An-Nisah which is always quoted out of context. If u look at that Surah, it is a revelation that is actually dedicated to giving instructions on how to take care of orphans.

In that verse (Quran 4:3) which is always quoted out of context, there is a condition with which u are allowed to marry up to 4 wives and u will find the condition in the previous verses. So this exception is only given to men who have custody of orphans and it is very clear. Based on that, there is no justification for a Muslim man to marry 4 wives unless he meets the conditions in the previous verse of which the quoted verse qualifies. However, it is also not very clear that marrying 4 wives is a sin in Islam but what is clear is a sin is as follows:

1) If u married 4 wives out of consent of all or any of the wives, u have gone against the rule.
2) If u married 4 wives and are not able to equally meet ur obligations
3) If u married 4 wives and are not taking care of orphans or even if we generalize it a bit, u are not into any form of philanthropy whereby u take care and feed the less privileged of which the task of doing so may overburden ur wife.

So all u need to do is let ur would be husband know that u will never be giving consent to his decision to marry another wife in case he is willing to attempt it in future.

Now what does marriage entail in Islam, There has to be consent between u and ur would be spouse, both parents and there has to be a contract.
That contract is the most important. The man and the woman will both agree on their expectation in the marriage and that agreement must be kept in any form. So if Islam allows contract which also actively exists in western laws called Prenuptial Agreement or "Prenup" it is left to u to agree in advance what u want in a wedding. All u need to do is not get married to a man who will not include in the contract that he is ready to be with only you.

Checking the logical connection of prenup in Islam with requirement for divorce in Islam, Divorce is allowed if one of the spouse is no more keeping their conjugal obligations, wants and needs. So the question is, how would u determine that a party is defaulting in a marriage if there was no prior definition of obligations? Therefore, bear it in mind that u can have ur wants clearly defined in advance of a marriage and do not let some Alfas railroad u into believing that it is what u have to accept without choice. The man can of course also have his wants defined.

Islam is not any barbaric as some of these clergies always want to make it out to look.

Deen4me: This one na banger ooo

On a more serious note, Lets look at the facts

Polygamy : a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse

Polygyny : where a man marries more than one woman (Allowed in Islam)

Polyandry : where a woman marries more than one man (Not Allowed in Islam)


1 Islam did not introduce polygyny

Moses 2 wives (Exodus 2:21 , Numbers 12:1)
Abraham at least three wives (Genesis 16:3 ,Genesis 25: 1-5)
David -12 Wives , 3 Concubines (1 Samuel 18:27 ,1 Chronicles 3 1-5)
Solomon 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 kings 11:3 ,Songs 6:8 2 Kings 10:1)

2 : The Qur'an is the only religious scripture in the world that says, 'marry only one'

"Then marry those that please you of women
two or three or four.
but if you fear you will not be just, then (marry only) one " Q 4:3

3. Polygyny protects the interests of women and children in society. It requires men to spend on their additional wives and their offspring.

The Prophet(PBUH) says,
“When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down (paralyzed) Abu Dawud

4.Only a minority (10-15 %) of Muslims practice polygyny because of additional financial and psychological burdens of handling more than one family.

PERFECTO!!

Seriousbusiness: This question should be directed to matured men not boys.When I was younger,I hate polygamy with passion but now that Ve grown up,I think I can support polygamy.If you ve ever been heart broken b4 as a man,nobody will tell you to go for polygamy.
Moreover,why is it that polygamous men always live longer than monogamous men?
So I go for polygamy 100% so far you are capable.

Yes, matured men shud contribute not boys, infact having 2 wives is far better than having one wife with experience

Fazhy: [size=18pt]Second wife?[/size] [size=18pt]NO WAY!!![/size]

first?

@ topic big yes

nbright: True... I have Muslim friends that vowed never to marry more than one wife... I don't think a man can love four women equally...

Let him marry d first wife b4 he can decide maybe to stick with one or more

Can someone love all his children equally? If NO, then you can't love all ur wives equally

nikegbade: To sisters, please whatever it is halal in islam, don't let us make it haram via our mere worldly interest. May Allah giv us d strenght to pass all d test of dis dunya. If my husband wake me tomorrow $ tell me he's interested in mohsna. Toh! Bismilahi. I'l support him. May Allah guide us right

Good sermon

Okija_juju:


I see your problem...


You are mistaking sex for love..

Ask Ashawos.. They understand this principle very well.

I hope you won't feel bad if you wife sleeps with her boss...

it's just intimacy, not love

bukatyne:

I hope you won't feel bad if you wife sleeps with her boss...

it's just intimacy, not love

I told my wife the only way I would not forgive her is if she sleeps with a person that is lesser than me 'generally'.. Sex is not the problem, love is.

A prostitute has a partner she loves dearly. But she sleeps with men for money. Sex not love. My wife has said it that her greatest fear isnt that I would cheat on her sexually, but that I would cheat on her emotionally..

Plus! My wifes bosses are women. Her male boss that I know, I will forgive her instantly becuase if I was a girl, I would f|uck him as well..




Infidelity is not the worst thing in a marriage.

Ask those muslim women.. They would rather have their homes all to themselves and have a husband that f|ucks around, rather than share their home, husband and everything with 4 - 20 other women.

bukatyne:

@bolded, interesting!

The only aggrieved party is the first wife

At second bolded, you are kidding right?

The seconded bolded is actually right!!

eightsin: I wont like to marry more than one woman bt i'd keep at least one concubine especially whn my wife is pregnant jst to keep conji away from the body.
Cos Conji is very dangerous.

Nothing stops you from having sex with a pregnant woman. Sex is in fact good for her.

Area-Fada:


4.Only a minority (10-15 %) of Muslims practice polygyny because of additional financial and psychological burdens of handling more than one family.

[/size]

If only 10-15% of Muslims practice polygyny, why have they been telling us the population of Northern Nigeria is more than South because Northerners marry generally marry up to four wives. Where did you get your figures from?

If true then the census fraud is bigger than we thought.

Each man his own.

Personally polygamy is too troublesome. I want my peace of mind.

Muslims generally have a large number of Children. An average Muslim, from what I have seen has 5 in a monogamous setting. Now imagine how much that becomes in a polygamy.

It sounds somehow that you use northern Nigeria as an example of Muslims. The population of Nigeria is not up to the population of Muslims in India..and here you are using Northern Nigeria as a representative of Muslims.

satellitedaisy: I will marry another man if he is richer than my husband.

Stoopeed thread

I am barely managing to keep one wife happy,how in the world will i survive with two women (irrespective of the nomenclature )?
Irrespective of religion, i struggle t ounderstand how a man can marry two or more wives.

nikegbade: To sisters, please whatever it is halal in islam, don't let us make it haram via our mere worldly interest. May Allah giv us d strenght to pass all d test of dis dunya. If my husband wake me tomorrow $ tell me he's interested in mohsna. Toh! Bismilahi. I'l support him. May Allah guide us right

NO One is making it haram. I dislike it when you leave the issue and start yo drive on emotions.

And well done as you allow the mosna..people like you are rare. But in many cases, the likes of you end up having the bigger problem with the new wife.I don't pray that that happens to you though.

I dont think that a woman who loves her husband would want to see him with someone else. But of course, not everyone marries for love.

khattab02: Suppose let agree with the philosophy one man One woman and suppose my sister or your sister is in America and the market is saturated every man has found a woman for himself yet there will still be 7.8m women who will not find life partners. And we all know every man can't marry for some many reasons. Now the option left for these 7.8m women is either marry a man who has a wife or become public property. Which will any modest woman opt for?

The thought that men are more than women is faulty. In China, there are 105 men for every 100 women. Would polygamous men not appear greedy in such a situation?

Of course, as Muslims the other options of gay marriage is not legit. But in a western society, like you have used as an example, where such marriages are legit, you may not entirely base their problem of inability to find partners on polygamy nor make it a solution to their problem.

#justsaying

Marrying two wives brings respect and make women know their position in the home.. but living with one wife God cant imagine my self doing that... its not in my family linage sha!!!


with one wife you have more problem because she has the autonomous power over the man


but with two wivies and above, the respect is very high because if she misbehave she has competitors that would correct the mistake with Joy


My father's tried it and they lived longer than their age..


the only principle i see with polygamy is that the Man should work extra hard to provide the basic needs of the family.

and share the money and playtime equally, and don't put the the wives under one roof, thats suicide if you try that...

ALVA 001: @
deen4me & mr aboki, jazakumlahu khairan. @ deols, i agree wt u bt
nt until i say ds, plz dont lets mix up issues, u talkd about societal
ills arising 4rm taking a 2nd on lustful grnd.
1) i thnk it is impossible to marry some1 cos of lust, cos lust is jes
dt u wana av sex, das all, but to marry because of beauty is by far
possible and permisibble in islam, jes lyk deen4me as rightly put it,
and its actually impossible 4 anyone to say authoritatively dt anoda
person is marryn on d grnds of beauty alone, as intention cannt be seen.
2) societal ills, lyk u said. it is tru dt some undesired thngs may
arise out of polygamy, but lets be carefull so that we dont see wot is
meant 2 be TRIAL 4rm God as EVIL. i believe that anyone who does a thng
4 d wrong reasons and in the wrong way would surely face a lot of prob.
if u thnk avn 1 wife is problem & 2 is more prob, so be it, if u
thnk odawise, so be it. i also thnk dt nt all men are actually fit to
marry a 2nd wife.

You did not get my point, obviously.

What if a man does it for that reason. Is there a law stopping him? NO.

And in other situations where young girls would rather be 2nd or 4th wives to rich men, leaving young men hanging and feeling sorry for their poor state..Is there a law guiding against that? No.

So I am saying that polygamy does not necessarily go with the intent of solving societal issues and many widows are single and plenty orphans unmarried. If the condition for marrying second wives was for widows and orphans and not open to others, I'll totally reason with that factor of polygamy solving those societal issues. I think it does so mostly on paper.

Okija_juju:


I told my wife the only way I would not forgive her is if she sleeps with a person that is lesser than me 'generally'.. Sex is not the problem, love is.

A prostitute has a partner she loves dearly. But she sleeps with men for money. Sex not love. My wife has said it that her greatest fear isnt that I would cheat on her sexually, but that I would cheat on her emotionally..

Plus! My wifes bosses are women. Her male boss that I know, I will forgive her instantly becuase if I was a girl, I would f|uck him as well..




Infidelity is not the worst thing in a marriage.

Ask those muslim women.. They would rather have their homes all to themselves and have a husband that f|ucks around, rather than share their home, husband and everything with 4 - 20 other women.

I dont agree with the last one.

I think Muslim women would rather have him marry the other women than have him sleep around.

And majority would rather have him to themselves than share him with other women.

i wil marry two wife if only i want to die young

It seems like the position matters for a lot of women, most want to be the first. don't know why tho .
Anyway I have always wanted to take part in an orgy. Doing it with my wives would b not only safe but fun to say the least. So polygamy here I come
Lemme check my bank account first

haha,,

seems the trend of the thread is to stick to one partner but have side dishes as the case may be

Having a mistress does not even consider the option of sex tourism

lmao...


It will take two generations before monogamy is ingrained in some male folk...

deols:

NO One is making it haram. I dislike it when you leave the issue and start yo drive on emotions.

And well done as you allow the mosna..people like you are rare. But in many cases, the likes of you end up having the bigger problem with the new wife.I don't pray that that happens to you though.

I dont think that a woman who loves her husband would want to see him with someone else. But of course, not everyone marries for love.

@ bolded

You make it sound as if its a bad thing

pickabeau1: haha,,

seems the trend of the thread is to stick to one partner but have side dishes as the case may be

Having a mistress does not even consider the option of sex tourism

lmao...


It will take two generations before monogamy is ingrained in some male folk...

they still have side chicks in polygamy. Men are only being men . You must accept us the way we are

Deen4me:

@ bolded

You make it sound as if its a bad thing

Each to their own.Everyone would have to deal with the consequences of their decisions.

Okija_juju:


I told my wife the only way I would not forgive her is if she sleeps with a person that is lesser than me 'generally'.. Sex is not the problem, love is.

A prostitute has a partner she loves dearly. But she sleeps with men for money. Sex not love. My wife has said it that her greatest fear isnt that I would cheat on her sexually, but that I would cheat on her emotionally..

Plus! My wifes bosses are women. Her male boss that I know, I will forgive her instantly becuase if I was a girl, I would f|uck him as well..




Infidelity is not the worst thing in a marriage.

Ask those muslim women.. They would rather have their homes all to themselves and have a husband that f|ucks around, rather than share their home, husband and everything with 4 - 20 other women.

@first bolded, maybe not the worst but one of the worst things... I doubt if I can forgive my man for that(may Allah distant us from infidelity)...

@second bolded, better agreed upon if you had typed women and not 'muslim' women... As much as I'd want my man to myself(not shared), I wouldn't mind 3 more rivals if infidelity becomes an option... Women are possessive of their men(ofcourse, we should be) but a muslim woman should not put her husband's aqeeda in jeopardy because of her emotions...

^^^ You gotta love the spirit. I like Muslim girls because they are submissive and always want to please their husbands.

ummsulaym: [/b]

@first bolded, maybe not the worst but one of the worst things... I doubt if I can forgive my man for that(may Allah distant us from infidelity)...

@second bolded, better agreed upon if you had typed women and not 'muslim' women... As much as I'd want my man to myself(not shared), I wouldn't mind 3 more rivals if infidelity becomes an option... Women are possessive of their men(ofcourse, we should be) but a muslim woman should not put her husband's aqeeda in jeopardy because of her emotions...

If only life were ideal..

I do however agree that 'muslim' didnt need to be in my post as the feeling cuts across board.

Deen4me: This one na banger ooo

On a more serious note, Lets look at the facts

Polygamy : a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse

Polygyny : where a man marries more than one woman (Allowed in Islam)

Polyandry : where a woman marries more than one man (Not Allowed in Islam)


1 Islam did not introduce polygyny

Moses 2 wives (Exodus 2:21 , Numbers 12:1)
Abraham at least three wives (Genesis 16:3 ,Genesis 25: 1-5)
David -12 Wives , 3 Concubines (1 Samuel 18:27 ,1 Chronicles 3 1-5)
Solomon 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 kings 11:3 ,Songs 6:8 2 Kings 10:1)

2 : The Qur'an is the only religious scripture in the world that says, 'marry only one'

"Then marry those that please you of women
two or three or four.
but if you fear you will not be just, then (marry only) one " Q 4:3

3. Polygyny protects the interests of women and children in society. It requires men to spend on their additional wives and their offspring.

The Prophet(PBUH) says,
“When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down (paralyzed) Abu Dawud

4.Only a minority (10-15 %) of Muslims practice polygyny because of additional financial and psychological burdens of handling more than one family.

Please Note.
The Bible does not support polygamy.
God says "A man should be united to his wife not wives"
and Jesus re-emphasized this fact "Mathew 19:4-6" and He says what God has joined together let no one put assunder.
It is clear that Monogamy is the best system, where then did prophet Muhammad get his revelation from?
God never said a man can have more than one wife in the Bible, please prove it if you can. Every one who married more than one wife
thought it was the best thing to do but see what it caused them.