thank you deols you're my type. say no to abuse joor,nonsense bros
how shildren @deols

mysticgal: thank you deols you're my type. say no to abuse joor,nonsense bros
how shildren @deols

A big NO to abuse!!

Lol @Shildren . Ayam single.

deols:
If she had slapped him, fine.
But she didn't.

so he should have waited for the first blood to be drawn before reacting? come on - the art of self defense doesn't work that way. she was confrontational & she was moving closer to the dude. was she going to hug him or land him a slap?

The op has laboured for him and his wife. She can get angry and make mistakes as a human being. That is not a reason for anybody to assault her.

she started the assault. raising her voice & waving a finger in someone's face is also an assault.

Cooking for them is not her responsibility but she did so anyway. And because she could not do what they wanted once, they became vindictive.

they had cooked the food when the OP went out. the OP was angry they didn't include her ration & she transferred the aggression to the brother in law.

Husband was simply angry that he could not eat beans early enough. No amount of disrespect from her should have warranted him beating her up. She is not even his wife and owes him NOTHIng. Not even the respect he is asking for. That, he needed to earn. And now he has shown himself to be not deserving of it.

husband had moved on from the initial incident. he was reading his book quietly when the OP accosted him & took the book from him.

As the op, I'd made him PAY in every way that I can. The last thing I will take from anyone is this kind of abuse.

hahahaha
in nigeria, the side with the money would win. it's their word against hers. the hubby has a witness, the OP doesn't. so how do you make him pay?

Op, tell your sister and husband to leave your house, and stay away from them.

so he should have waited for the first blood to be drawn before reacting? come on - the art of self defense doesn't work that way. she was confrontational & she was moving closer to the dude. was she going to hug him or land him a slap?

What is the probability that she would have hit him?

she started the assault. raising her voice & waving a finger in someone's face is also an assault.

And you think it is the same as slapping her twice and removing his belt to beat her more?

they had cooked the food when the OP went out. the OP was angry they didn't include her ration & she transferred the aggression to the brother in law.

What about all the other things she had done for them. Taking care of the wife and their child? Should all of those not count? should they even have cooked without considering her? Both husband and wife appear to be bad people and deserve each other imo. There is nothing wrong with her being angry at the time. That is very normal.

husband had moved on from the initial incident. he was reading his book quietly when the OP accosted him & took the book from him.

It is her book though. And she has every right to it, however she wants it.

hahahaha
in nigeria, the side with the money would win. it's their word against hers. the hubby has a witness, the OP doesn't. so how do you make him pay?

And that is a good thing abi. At least she used a kettle on him. I hope he will have to nurse it for long or develop an hematoma as a result.

If he does not apologise, it is unforgivable.

Sissie: Op, tell your sister and husband to leave your house, and stay away from them.

I think it's her parents house.

deols:
What is the probability that she would have hit him?

she said it herself - she was "boiling" & she overreacted. at that point, she has lost control totally.

And you think it is the same as slapping her twice and removing his belt to beat her more?

that's just a ploy to make him look bad. learn to separate the wheat from the chaff. so he slapped her twice, waited for him to remove his belt & started hitting her & she stood there like a statue.

i have a dinosaur in dugbe market, you wanna buy?

What about all the other things she had done for them. Taking care of the wife and their child? Should all of those not count? should they even have cooked without considering her? Both husband and wife appear to be bad people and deserve each other imo. There is nothing wrong with her being angry at the time. That is very normal.

it's one thing to be angry, it's another thing to let the anger becloud one's senses to the extent of misbehaving & provoking others. she could have just walked away from the situation & break glass cups at the backyard to destress.

It is her book though. And she has every right to it, however she wants it.

including being disrespectful when she asked for it back? hahahaha. the dude didn't steal the book from her. he took permission before taking it from her - respect beget respect & i think women get shamelessly brazen when they confront men thinking a man is not supposed to hit them.

And that is a good thing abi. At least she used a kettle on him. I hope he will have to nurse it for long or develop an hematoma as a result.

both parties should lick their wounds & move on. women should never confront/provoke men into violence.

If he does not apologise, it is unforgivable.

goodluck on that.......

Maybe the younger brother is really young but if you are beating any of my sisters for any reason. I'd be smashing your head in... There is no excuse for this, walk away.. It is not even your house.

When my sister was about to get married, My dad warned her husband that if he ever hit her, he would come over and break his legs. . Those are the ones that are married o! Imagine hitting the one that is not even married to you.

There is more to this story but there is no excuse for this.

Phema:

I think it's her parents house.

If it's her parents house, she needs to avoid them.

coogar:

cöck & bull story....
you did nothing at all, this enraged, psychopathic, brutish, flesh-eating brother in law just came from nowhere & started beating you for no reason. i would have joined them in beating you too if i were there.

Welcome back coogar I've missed your poetic and descriptive responses on NL.

coogar:

i don't support violence too but it's sometimes necessary. she provoked the bro-in-law & she was pointing finger at him. he was only defending himself - what's he meant to do? wait for her to strike the first blow?

Did a human being write this.? Na wa o! So its better he strikes the first blow so she doesnt?

Parents pls train your children well....that is all i will say

Violence is never NECCESSARY in any situation...

If my husband should raise his hands at my sister, its disrespectful to me, and my parents not just my sister REGARDLESS of the provocation

Worse case he says to me we should pack our bags and go and we do but to get physical? Hmm...that kind of man will get physical with me too if he is angry

@op...hope you and your mom has thrown them out? Let them go to their own house and fight box themselves to death there

Mschewww. Some men are just cowards...fullstop

uchetobi:
Did a human being write this.? Na wa o! So its better he strikes the first blow so she doesnt?

don't go about provoking people to hit you. even if you are in control of your anger, you cannot control the anger of the individual you are provoking. if she wasn't so confrontational, the matter would have been avoided.

Parents pls train your children well....that is all i will say

it's one thing to train & another for the kids to listen. i implore you practise what you preach. if you were trained well, you wouldn't have asked if a human being wrote a comment. who else could have written it? an alien or the louse entangled in your cornrow?

Nutase:


Welcome back coogar I've missed your poetic and descriptive responses on NL.

how'dy?

ohhhh,d guy shouldn't have slapped u or anything of such...he shld av reported u to his wife,since he was In ur family house. if ther was gonna be any slapping,it shld av been by ur Sister n not ur in law.

Am sure he slapped u cos he sees u as a younger sis dat needs correction( u stated yourself that you have known him over 10years).that not withstanding,he shouldn't av beat u up..

he shld av walked away when u were rude to him.

@OP for how long av u been pointing at him anytime he confronts u??

hahahaha... coogar

I am reacting to your 'necessary some times' because there is no time violence against a woman is necessary!

Anyways im not even bother trading words with you...your thinking mentality is already on full display for all to see...so carry on

@op,is it your house or family house? why is your mum not reacting ,cos I know Nigerian parents are over protective of their children,what's your brother take on these,who owns the food?answer this questions we can take it up from there.

uchetobi: I am reacting to your 'necessary some times' because there is no time violence against a woman is necessary!

this is the nonsense you people keep telling yourself. there's no time violence against women should be tolerated but women should be free to use violence against men? well done. the hypocrisy is complete 7.5 minutes later when these same women want sex equality.


naturally many men are very reluctant to hit a woman, even in self defence, because it is considered very unmanly. in fact, this is something that many violent women like the OP depend upon. they go ahead waving finger in a man's face cos they naturally expect the man not to react - after all, men are emotionless zombies, right?

Anyways im not even bother trading words with you...your thinking mentality is already on full display for all to see...so carry on

yes, we cannot trade words.....
you are intellectually out of my league on issues like this one. when it's about which part of chicken should be hacked or what brand of vegetable is the most delicious, i would be needing your expert advice.

pickabeau1: hahahaha... coogar

women who display aggression towards men stated that they expressed aggression toward their male partners in part because they wished to engage their partner's attention, particularly emotionally. also, assaultive women did not believe that their male victims would be seriously injured or would even retaliate. this is why you would see a tiny woman clutch at the shirt of a big man screaming "you must kill me today"

^^^ true... in some cases women always believe men will be chivalrous and let it slide but i still doubt it was so in this case

She is helping your wife with a new birth and you do that...
No gender has a monopoly of violence abd Violence is not the answer

Having an argument with coogar is like wishing for your brain cells to commit suicide. This guy is stubborn!!!
back to the topic, what the Op did was wrong and even she , knows it. Th truth is that in rage, common sense at time goes out the window. that being said, two wrongs don't make a right. she didn't even touch the in-law, so how is that self defence. if after slapping or hitting the in law, he beat her up, then that is self defence.
the in law is a shameless, immature tout and I pity the OP's sister. Violence is wrong, irrespective of what caused it!!

and op is 29 years old!! What kind of correction is that..

Op's mother is only acting like many in her generation would. She probably does not want the sis in law to be a cause of a problem in her sister's marriage.

@Op, you need to update us o. Is that excuse for a man still living in your house?

chaircover: coogar eku ishe o!
you seem to love trolling these days. Just let lleoba catch you there, I am sorry for you

trolling? should a man take the first blow before reacting? what if that first blow blinds him permanently?

steph7: Having an argument with coogar is like wishing for your brain cells to commit suicide. This guy is stubborn!!!
back to the topic, what the Op did was wrong and even she , knows it. Th truth is that in rage, common sense at time goes out the window. that being said, two wrongs don't make a right. she didn't even touch the in-law, so how is that self defence. if after slapping or hitting the in law, he beat her up, then that is self defence.
the in law is a shameless, immature tout and I pity the OP's sister. Violence is wrong, irrespective of what caused it!!

the OP initiated the violence - waving a finger in one's face & raising one's voice are all parts of violence. they don't have to be physical to qualify as violence. she started it, he ended it.

chaircover:

coogarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Pointing is now equal to blinding blow

Talk about drama LOL

You remind me of my male hairdresser. Always gesticulating wildly when he talks . . . drama incorporated

pointing & moving closer can only lead to one thing if she wasn't stopped in her tracks.

coogar:

pointing & moving closer can only lead to one thing if she wasn't stopped on her tracks.

As u are talking... i just dey laff for hia

You talking to me
You talking to me

Pokes eye

But seriously now... violence is not justifiable in any event especially in this scenario

coogar:

trolling? should a man take the first blow before reacting? what if that first blow blinds him permanently?

If this had happened in the US..would waving a finger have counted as violence?

This is one of the reasons Nigeria HAS to CHANGE.

deols:
If this had happened in the US..would waving a finger have counted as violence?

This is one of the reasons Nigeria HAS to CHANGE.

yes - it would have been. issuing threats & being verbally abusive are parts of domestic violence. the hubby has a cooperative witness(his wife) so i am sure both of them would have slept in jail that night if they had both pressed charges.

coogar:

yes - it would have been. issuing threats & being verbally abusive are parts of domestic violence. the hubby has a cooperative witness(his wife) so i am sure both of them would have slept in jail that night if they had both pressed charges.

What in the Op says she issued threats??

You are trying by all means to justify what he did. She did not even say that she abused him.

@thread
the BIL should not have laid his hand on OP, he has no right whatsoever.

that said, OP comes across as rude to me:

she told the sis she has started something and should be prepared to finish it, isn't that a petty statement?(we all make such statements, I know...doesn't make it right)

She said she didn't know when she started moving towards BIL, if that isn't a provocation, what is? everyone knows those rude girls that stand in your face and shout at you, what are they asking for? love and affection? (once again BIL was wrong to have slapped her).

OP wants us to tell her BIL was wrong and castigate him all the while ignoring the fact that she contributed her fair share to the whole scenario...rubbish and nonsense.

@OP
be the bigger person, apologize for the part you played in the mess(I did not say for being beaten) then stay away from them.