The end of me began with a call. It was so many years ago. Could you borrow me 40k she said, it is for some business. I will pay you back in two weeks. Alright I said, just make sure you return it because it is money meant for my school fee.

Fast forward to many months later and this person still hadn’t returned the money. I missed a semester exam and thereby ended my university education. I couldn’t tell anyone; not my mother, not my father. This person was a trusted person, family and telling them would have caused a huge disturbance in the family. I decided to keep mum and find a way out on my own. I got admitted again the next year but after paying the acceptance fee and some other petty fees, there was no money left for the school fee. I couldn’t write exams at the end of the semester. I was back to square one and yet, there was no one I could talk to.

Days ran into months and months into years and I was still in the same spot. People back home thought I was in school, I came home for holidays and acted like a normal student but deep inside me, I was lost and confused and was so depressed that I contemplated on suicide so many times.

It was better, I thought, dying. ‘Iku ya ju esin lo’; death is more honourable than shame. For all those years, I was too cowardly to do it but now, with the year ending and with another coming, I think the time is right. I have told lies, solid lies about why I hadn’t yet gone for service and those lies have saved me up until this moment. But now, I don’t think they can stand for long thus my stance –except a miracle occurs.

I have been depressed for a long time due to that mistake but my smiles and jolly self shrouds my mind and thoughts. I am a walking corpse, an effigy with a soul. I portray the image of a man without worries, a man without problems but my mind is in turmoil, my head is a raging sea of thoughts. I need help but who can I talk to?

Though I don’t have a formal certificate, I think I am far educated than most average graduates. I read at least four books in a month, speak very good English, look educated and presentable. I am a normal guy whom a little act of kindness has ruined. I just didn’t want to go without stating my story and to advice people about how not dealing with problems once it arises can turn their life into a tangled mess. Maybe if I had come out to my parents that long ago, I wouldn’t be writing this today.

I’d like to keep this short to not bore anyone...

I am writing this epistle as a buoy to keep adrift. Maybe someone would read this and proffer me with a solution. This is the first time anyone is hearing this from me. I have bottled it up in me for years.

I need help before I do the unthinkable; a job to keep me away from home, something to keep me alive....

and yea, I am a regular nairalander. just had to open a new account.

Ciao

Magic Bishop: Do it!

You don't deserve a second more on this planet!

hw cn yuu b so heartless ndd stupid...hw wuld yuu say sumfin like daht.if anyfin happens to him his blood wuld b on yur head.dnt yuu make mistakes? no 1 z prefect start tinking like a human nd nt an animal pls.

@op dnt do it....every single day brings hope.
...tell yurr parents d truth.wait a min,hv yuu bin collecting fees nd allowances during those wasted years?

OP. Evolve or die.

You ruined your life because of 40k?

Anyway, Bill Gates was a drop out so all hope is not lost.

Why don't you try something else before you kill yourself? Go to the nearest army barracks and enlist. You will start earning money immediately and get respect from your family and everybody on the street. You can even take an exam and become an officer after a year or two. What is wrong with you?

bbro; I understand ur plight; I do very well; buh if I could put some word of true reasoning to u ; U'll understaand dat only cowards n lil livered men take the easy way out; if u are a man(a true man) as u claim, it is tthis time or adversities u get to prove it.. Suicide is an easy way out; only cowards toe that path...

I'V had friends in ur shoes, d bestt yu can do, n I'll advice yu to, is to go back to ur parents, tell dem d whole truth, take it or leave it, they re the onlyy 1ce that can stand with u tru this trying times, u need to fall back to them; n tell them the whole truth; every situation is salvageable; urs will not be an exception!!! Delaying to come clean, is only dealying n prolonging d rainy days!!! U can PM me!!

and you think by commiting suicide your problems will be gone.

So many wish they were alive today and here you are thinking of hw to commit suicide.

My guy let me tell you my story.

Got addmission into a polytechnic in 2009, all through my Nd I was never serious, so when I was in Nd 2, the year I was suppose to round up my National diploma. I got a carry over, it was unlike me because in my household we dont tolerate it,so I couldnt bring myself to tell my mom,I was suppose to have graduated 2011 but I couldnt cause of the carry over and I never told anybody. My mom ask me if am not going to go back for my HND i just kept giving out excuse now fast forward to 2013 i had no choice but to tell her, yes she was angry cause my dad was late,and her second son for that matter misbehaving, she wanted to disown me but I cried and begged her,then I was offered a second chance to start allover again and I dont plan on miss using it.
It could still happen to you, just bring yourself to tell your parents the truth.

My brother suicide is not an option

@magic shop.....bro, u wicked oo!

I smell a scam. A person already committed to suicide would not take the time to pen a long rambling dissertation that revolves around money.

This is a routine "sympathy seeking" angle used by many internet scammers today. Best of luck dude, but I doubt you will get the cash from anyone on this forum.

I advise u to PRAY
and then talk to a psychologist and a priest or pastor.
With life there is hope, if everybody commits suicide in every hopeless situation, the population of the world would reduce by 50%

Remember: though time never last but though people do.

What do you need? - money or advice?

I honestly don't know if this is a scam or not. However, taking your own life is cowardly - it's never too late to start afresh. Just take whatever happened to you in the past as an experience and destiny.

Any body wey use him Education play,na monkey!!!

@op is what we call in igbo language,'Onye nzuzu'

Magic Bishop:
Mistake that ran into years that resulted in him dropping out of school.

Have you also considered the fact that his parents or whoever it was that was paying his school fees continued to provide for him even though he was not attending classes?


As I earlier said OP can go and DIE in any way he chooses to end it and you can join him

You are calling magic bishop heartless, OK. But what of the OP, who stewpidly took money from him parents and dashed it to a LovePeddler. Like that wasn't enough, he continued to milk his parents in the guise of being a student while he probably was visiting drinking joints with girls of all manner.
Like Bishop said, if you decide to take your life now, your death won't be a loss to this world. But I recommend that you take Alfa Seltzer's advise and join the army or police. At least you could put some direction back in your miserable life.

I really need to go into fasting and prayers,that God should not give me an efulefu for a child. :


May we eat the fruit of our labour from our children in Jesus name,Amen

lynpetra: Any body wey use him Education play,na monkey!!!

@op is what we call in igbo language,'Onye nzuzu'

Exactly. I couldn't even imagine doing that even with how cheap education was in my time.

What help do you need bro?

Send us an email => nairalandcharity@gmail.com

edoyad:

Exactly. I couldn't even imagine doing that even with how cheap education was in my time.

Just imagine!!!40kThe op wasn't serious back in school.The assssss.hole played his parent,for years.