MrJavaS:

I really appreciate,I'll try my best to move around different circles of people and circulate more often.I would also brush up my social skills.

Thanks

You're welcome. I'm glad I could be of help.

PS: the journey is going to be a long and arduous one. You're going to work against your very nature but it's necessary if you're to survive in this world. You're going to feel exhausted but don't ever give up, for the world recognises and rewards extroverted behavior.

Anyone having issues with the introvert personality should read

1. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Dr Stephen Corvey

2. Quiet - Susan Cain

3. The Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Mark Henson

4. Making Friends and Influencing People - Dale Carnegie.

kennybelle:
I guess I'm late, better late than never sha.

I'm also an introvert. my case was that worse that when i speak to my family members, my immediate family o, i cnt look up into their eyes, i cnt speak at length, as my voice will betray me (breaks and shakes) and smtimes when i'm alone I cry my eyes out, because i dnt lik my condition, i see it as a defect in my being.

I spoke to a confidant abt it, worked on suggestions, though things changed a bit but i'm still there, i just wish things would change completely.

Most times, i happen to have a lot of ideas, but always scared to express myself. can anyone help on how i can speak in d midst of people without my voice betraying me?

How old are u?
Are u male or female?

Rubbiish:

How old are u?
Are u male or female?

30s female

Xzbit91:


Yes it's a defect, one you should not rest until you've completely eliminated from your life. Don't mistake introversion for shyness. Anyone can be shy.

You can be a shy introvert or a shy extrovert. You'll know if you're introvert if social activities drains you and you find yourself leaving parties early so you can have an alone time to recharge.

On the other hand if social activities boosts your energy, you're buoyed by highly charged environments and you wish the party never ends then you're extroverted.

Introversion is often mistaken for shyness because the lifestyle and life choices of an introvert is akin to those of a shy person. The way we process information and our responses to stimulus are internal and how we feel while an extrovert focuses on the environment.

There are introverts who have gone on to live the "supposed" extrovert life. People like Barack Obama, Bill Gates to mention a few. You'd notice these people are not shy, but that doesn't make them extroverts.

Your shyness is worse because you're exhibiting it in front of family, people whom you should be the most comfortable around. They are the ones who should know you in and out.

The only reason I can point out is you come from a family that abused you emotionally or at the very least did not encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Or they never thought you could amount to anything good.

As humans, we all need validation to boost our self esteem. When we don't get it, we feel inadequate as though we'd never amount to anything good. The more this continues, the more confidence we lose.

You can't wish it away. You have to work at it everyday of your life starting from today. My advice to you is that you should do you. You're the only kennybelle out there, everyone else is taken. Begin to love yourself deeply and seek out your self interests. No one will love you if you don't love yourself first.

Don't be afraid to seek out the the things you desire without fear or favor. Forget about what others think of you, it only exist in your head. That's not to say you should become an insensitive prîck.

So I want you to take out a sheet of paper and write all of your good qualities on it. Write out ten qualities for a start and recite it till it sinks in. Now put that paper under your pillow and recite it every morning before stepping out.

Read books on self confidence and apply what's written within it's pages. Don't just read, apply. I would have sent you some if I hadn't formatted my laptop recently. Check the first ten pages of this thread, you will find some useful resource materials to download. Engage in activities that test your confidence. Join debate groups, go for evangelism if your church does such. Volunteer to take readings in large gatherings.

Basically, I want you to put yourself in the exact situations you try to avoid. You'll fail, you'll stumble, you'll feel embarrassed but ultimately you'll improve. Self improvement is what we all strive for and no one is the finished article.



I used to be like this way back in primary school even when I had the right answers to questions because I was afraid of prying eyes. Even to this day I hate been the centre of attention. But I realized it's a necessary evil if I'm to amount to anything in life.

The key here is to know your onions. I feel more comfortable discussing issues where I have above average knowledge. I noticed over time that it doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it that matters. If you believe strongly enough in what you say then you will get people who will believe you.

Think of how scammers operate. Do you think if they approach their mark feeling unsure of themselves, probably sweating and stuttering all through, they'd be able to pull off great heists?

Check Adolf Hitler who was able to convince a whole nation that they were a superior race and the perceived inferior races had to be exterminated. Do you think he would have gathered much support if he was wavering and unsure of himself?

Having butterflies when you're about to face an audience is natural. It also happens to extroverts. Even the best public speakers get flustered meeting a new audience.

Practice speaking in front of a mirror and project a confident body language. Progress to speaking in front of someone familiar, it could be friend or family. Then move on to small groups and if possible a larger group until you're completely rid of shyness. Shalom.

Jeez! I love this! Never been this encouraged and motivated. Thank you so much!

I know I have improved, I had d best seminar presentation and project defense back in school (with d help of prayers, practice and menthol sweets to calm my nerves ), to say d least. i guess my problem is comparing myself to others and the fear of making mistakes like u said. I'll work on your suggestions and see how it goes. I'm indeed grateful

kennybelle:

30s female

30+ ? What are your challenges now, so i can relate it with ur age?

It's not about changing rather it's about understanding yourself and accepting yourself. Be a confident introvert instead of being a timid and shy introvert. We should be working with what we have instead of wanting to change ourselves in order to fit in.
I like that I'm quiet and I enjoy intellectual conversations so I don't feel a need to join in on a conversation that doesn't interest me. I'm more popular because of my quiet nature and those who are comfortable in their own skin are comfortable around me and those who are insecure and have something to prove stay away from me.

It's okay to be who you are. Be the best version of You.

Admin401:
I think it's safe to say that introverts are all dog lovers, yeah? Raise your hand if you are introverted but hate dogs.

I don't hate dogs..but I don't like them either.....dogs are common pets..I prefer rabbits

Xzbit91:


Yea, you're right "Isolation is dangerous". If you're a loner people tend to forget your existence. How do you intend getting a first class if you're always all by yourself?

Na naija you dey o. I've not met anyone more introverted than myself, yet I've always had at least two close friends at any point in my life. I didn't force it either. I just noticed that like minds gravitate towards each other. I made friends with people who we engaged in similar activities or whom I shared similar interests with.

Try make some friends. Go play sport, video games, study groups and engage in church activities, you'll definitely make friends. In a Nigerian institution where sometimes assignment and tests are given without your knowledge, who'll remember you when such info is circulating?

Asides from that, you'll need the contact after school. Remember school is just a small chapter of your life, there is a whole world out there. You might make connections that will aid you job search or provide accommodation for you when travelling.

I won't be so hanged up on first class if I were you. There are many first class graduates without jobs. Seek first to be a balanced person, socially, mentally and emotionally. Don't become a mindless robot by reading all the time in the name of first and thus become a social misfit.

@bolded. Shall we say we won't travel by air or land due to possibility of plane crashes or accidents? Certainly not.

Being nice is one of the banes of the introvert. Usually such niceties are acts to cover up our insecurities, getting people to like you, because we feel we don't have other endearing qualities. This is simply not true.

Most introverts tend to be nice to the point of subservience which makes us prone to being taken advantage of. I learnt this the hard way when people I trusted failed to reciprocate when I needed help most.

Since I realized no one owes me anything, I have lived a happier life. That's not to say I've become cold, I just don't go out of my way to please people anymore. There are people I still go the extreme for, but they are those whom I consider worthy.

agree with all except you saying how do you get a first class by been lonely....?... lots of loners make first class bro

babyfaceafrica:
agree with all except you saying how do you get a first class by been lonely....?... lots of loners make first class bro

There's a world of difference between being alone and being lonely.

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You must be neat and calm plz

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used as New, Just a few Clicks.
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Need an female chat mate (we may not get to see)

Introverted perhaps.


07085013051 WhatsApp

Been a while here.

I'm an introvert, people think i'm proud, but they dont know dat i've been carried away by hundreds of thoughts running thru my mind. Even my friends when they visit me my room will be locked they may think i'm out but i'm in, they always say i belong to a secret cult, (cos i always lock myself inside) but who cares what they may think or say, i love to be alone if u dont like me d way i am then go hang urself.

My childhood made me so. The damage has been done long b4 now. It cannot be fixed. It is sooo bad. i have always prefered indoors than 2 go out. When i go out i just wish no one would noticed some1 passed. I just prefer to be with myself indoor, though i would begin to feel so lonely when it has become too much.lol. I am a very shy type that in my shyness you will think i'm a snub,lol. i don't just want wahala.

babyfaceafrica:
I don't hate dogs..but I don't like them either.....dogs are common pets..I prefer rabbits

I love cats

Estellar:
I love cats

I love cats too

iomoge2:
I love cats too

So I stumbled on this thread while surfing the family section. Wow. I never knew there was someplace like this here where I could seldom feel good about myself.

Well, it's better late than...

Like y'all, I am also an introvert. I am also a full-time freelancer which means I'm indoors most of the time. I work in the comfort of my own home, cook, eat, listen to good music and sleep. I find my peace staying indoor eventhough it feels lonely. Once in a blue moon, I drag myself to the mall but I quickly get fed up of the fun - (read: distraction).

I certainly will be visiting this thread often and hope to meet other weirdos like me.

Please embrace me with a warm hug