donnypool:

i know your type, looking for who to pick insults with....

gtfo my D*CK

You're crazy. And I wasn't even riding on you yet. Stop acting like the dude you're not.

MsNas: 11. The dirty mechanic that will wear his oily, grease-stained and filthy workshop clothes. Enters the bus and sits beside you like that. God help you if you're putting on white clothing, you will nearly enter the body of the next person beside you in a bid to avoid contact with them. The most annoying part is that they will feign ignorance and sit as comfortable as ever.

12. The one that will buy boiled eggs, gala, Lacasera, pure water and so on eat all through the journey. They will chew like locomotive engines when they eat their bounty and if you're lucky they might even throw grenades (Farts)

13. The fat woman that is supposed to pay for two seats but will pay for one and you will be squeezed like tuna in a can.

14. The newspaper borrower

Oh, I could go on and on!! Lagos is in a class of its own mehn. I don miss

15) The 'liars on call'- they get calls and say they are at allen junction whereas they are still at mangoro/cement. Most of us are guilty of dat, except me


16) silent releaser- they 'shuffle' the air and i dey pity the person wey no get hanky to cover nose- sometimes might be those well-dressed/suited up fellas. Its a no respecter of persons.

17) trader- this ones enter after a passenger had dropped halfway thru the destination of d bus. They always bargain over sacks/loads with d conductor, sometimes delaying everyone. Not to talk of d stench if its a meat-seller/butcher.sometimes u wished 'molue' was still around to transport these passengers instead. You can percieve the squeezed faces of some passenger when they enter, sometimes singing 'pasuma'



18) 'Olopa superior'- theses once are police officers that just enter any danfo anyhow, speeding or in traffic jam. Mind you they wont even pay. They love the front seats besides the driver(with that bag) they even hang with the conductor if there's no space.

i can think of 5 more, but il stop here

ucheokpara100: although dis tins sounds funny, bt d truth is d way nigerian behave i dnt undastnd lik untamed goat. u 'll ce bus conductor shoutin 4 no reason jst 2 disturb public peace.

ROTFL!!!!!!!!! #CLASSIC .

MsNas: 11. The dirty mechanic that will wear his oily, grease-stained and filthy workshop clothes. Enters the bus and sits beside you like that. God help you if you're putting on white clothing, you will nearly enter the body of the next person beside you in a bid to avoid contact with them. The most annoying part is that they will feign ignorance and sit as comfortable as ever.

12. The one that will buy boiled eggs, gala, Lacasera, pure water and so on eat all through the journey. They will chew like locomotive engines when they eat their bounty and if you're lucky they might even throw grenades (Farts)

13. The fat woman that is supposed to pay for two seats but will pay for one and you will be squeezed like tuna in a can.

14. The newspaper borrower

Oh, I could go on and on!! Lagos is in a class of its own mehn. I don miss

Hahahahahah , I miss the lawlessness in lasgidi mehn

;DU guys have forgotten dat passenger that comes inside d danfo to play music from his phone thinking he has d latest song in his phone...

Onegai: Craziest story from a danfo coming up now!

On a sunday, decided to go pick up my hard-drive from my brother (he's on the island, I was then in S/lere). I got to Shitta and instead of taking a cab, decided to do alaroro and enter bus to the island.
At CMS, I boarded a bus going to Lekki. The woman beside me was smacking her lips on a sachet of pure water and was dressed like a "busstop geh" (not ashi, but like someone who hangs out with area boys). As soon as the bus was full and the conductor started taking fares, she calmly and loudly began to ask each person to pay her fare (with no shame and no begging). She argued with the conductor until out of "let this noise end", another customer paid. Me, I jejely brought out my phone to keep busy (and not make eye contact).

She made a point of helping me announce my b/stop (I didn't ask her o!). I dropped off at the stop and she got off too. Me, I walked quickly into the estate. Like 20 mins later, I was home and decided to get some chicken from the fridge. Our flats have windows facing out the kitchen in front (Lord knows why 1004 is designed with no privacy in mind). Suddenly someone started ringing and banging our neighbour's door, it was made. I tried to look out and that was when THAT SAME LADY FROM THE BUS spotted me! Immediately she came to our door and started doing the same. I told my bro (he got angry) and he answered the door. Same brazen, cocky manner from this lady: she said she knew me, we were friends, she had business with me, they should tell me to come outside to meet her! She refused to leave till we called security and even then she sat by the crescent gate, waiting for me to come out. My brother ended up driving me home.

Trust my mama to have sharp Nigerian mama tongue: "you'll be carrying natural hair up and down, wearing ankara with oily face, she thought you were poor and at her level!"

Maybe she wanted to date you...she fell in love at first sight

MsNas:
You're crazy. And I wasn't even riding on you yet. Stop acting like the dude you're not.

what's up girl?

That moment when the Danfo you are in is overtaken by another Danfo only for a certain passenger in the other Danfo to smirk at you like "we dem boss".

That moment when a Danfo driver shouts at a private driver (probably driving an SUV) "shey u no go carry that your pangolo comot for road!!?"

The Preacherman Annoys me the most,its not only in Danfo u'll get dem,I was Travellin to Owerri frm Lagos the other day on one of this Hummerbus,then suddenly this man started preaching all d way frm lagos,he didnt stop till we got to Benin meanwhile i had wanted to make calls but i cudnt cos the receiver wont believe am in a bus(they will think i went to church)

the Jjc made me laugh cos it happened to me recently.......(though i was born & breed in lagos)i was going to visit my cousin who just moved in at Ijegun(Ikotun)though have nevr been there before so he directed me.i took danfo frm Oshodi to Ikotun,stop at jakande estate to enter another danfo going to Ijegun,when i got inside d danfo i was sitting in d middle of 2 beautiful girls who i think its their lst time of also going to ijegun,so one of the girls asked me if estate junction is not far,instead of me to tell her i dnt knw where estate junction is i pretend like i knw and told her its not far,so d other girl thinking i knw d rd well now asked me if her junction is not far too,i also said d same,i cudnt bring mysef to tell d driver to alert me when i get to my "so" junction cos d girls will knw i dnt knw d Rd and i lied,so i keep Quiet,after some time those girls came down to their various bustops,when we got to d last busstop,evrybody came down i now went to d driver to tell him i wanted to stop at "so" busstop,then he shouted in a yoruba accent "arrggh we don pass der tai tai,enter Keke N200 go back"

Op Add this to d list,people that likes struggling to enter front seat with driver,even if they sit in d bck they will want to enter d front seat when they notice its vacant,as if it their calling to sit in d front seat with driver

UuzbaGuuzba:

You will sit in the middle and the bus engine will be overheating and burn your nyash through out the journey.

some driver wil even join a small chair(apoti) to d normal chair nd d person sityn in d middle wil sit wit 1 yansh

Epathra: Normally, I don't give cognisance to comments like this buh we have too many of your breeds running loose hence, the need to curb ΐτ̅. Mind you, ΐτ̅'s usually safer to consult Ʊя̩̥̊ brain before Ʊя̩̥̊ mouth and fingers but I'm not surprised coz I've been warned not underestimated hediots esp on a faceless forum and on the keypad.
You shld have just given Ʊя̩̥̊ desription.

haba..... take it easy . whqt did he/she say dats insulting that u had to throw all dis insult? d reply even sounds like a joke not that an insult.
take it easy o. dnt take life oo serious na

rusher14:

Better than the guy that reads over your shoulder and holds your hand as you flip the page....Na you and am buy the paper?

lol..lord have mercy

donmalcolm21: What about the girls you chat up in the bus and the next minute they keep silent when conductor tell them "owo da" expecting u to pay. This story happened to my colleague in the office, he was transferred from Enugu to lagos and he do come to work from Egbeda. One day he asked me how much is Egbeda to Ikeja? I told him its 150, he now screamed that the conductor do collect 300 from him, he said when people are paying they do say "meji" so when he also want to pay he do tell the conductor "meji" that he tought MeJi was his bus stop.

haha chai

Can't stop laughing ere

chinex276: U 4got d football fanatics, now dat 9ja drew yesterday, dey'll argue till d end of their journey.

LEMME SHARE DIS STORY WITH U::

one day while coming frm wrk, i wanted 2 enta a danfo, bt d only place i lyk siting is @ d frnt with d driver nd anothe passenger, so when i reached d bustop i headed 4 d frnt sit, only 2 find a man neatly dressed with suit there, so i joined him after about 20mins d man angrily left d bus nd went 4 another one becos one we were in was taking tym 2 full, after abt 5mins. I too left d bus nd went 2 another one sat at d frnt, lo nd behold it was desame man, after sometyms he angrily left 4 another bus which i unknowingly followed him 2, and met him at d frnt seat, wen d man looked at me, he said "guy na wetin na, y u dey follo me lyk dis, see anybody wey send u tell u no see me", mehn i vex coz oda pple don dey luk me one kind, den i told him, "shebi d moto na ur own, if u no wan siddon 4 public moto go buy ur own na", he den left 4 another bus, wen i thought abt it i jus cant help but laff out LOUD!

Ol boy you want kill somebody here with laughter. It took me a long time to finish reading this ur post because my eyes were misty with laughter tears especially when the man asked you that very important question. Lagos na was oo.

MsNas:
You're crazy. And I wasn't even riding on you yet. Stop acting like the dude you're not.

ok

Hahahahahaha...Lagos na wah oo. How I miss that city.

MsNas: 11. The dirty mechanic that will wear his oily, grease-stained and filthy workshop clothes. Enters the bus and sits beside you like that. God help you if you're putting on white clothing, you will nearly enter the body of the next person beside you in a bid to avoid contact with them. The most annoying part is that they will feign ignorance and sit as comfortable as ever.

12. The one that will buy boiled eggs, gala, Lacasera, pure water and so on eat all through the journey. They will chew like locomotive engines when they eat their bounty and if you're lucky they might even throw grenades (Farts)

13. The fat woman that is supposed to pay for two seats but will pay for one and you will be squeezed like tuna in a can.

14. The newspaper borrower

Oh, I could go on and on!! Lagos is in a class of its own mehn. I don miss

you forgot the Fishers, the pick pockets: they don't enter the bus... Dey pretend to be among the passengers when their deal is done the jump out of the bus.. You only learn that you are one of their victims when you want to pay for your fare...

And those passengers that those not know what deodorant is.

That moment u enter danfo and all other passengErs dn sleep... U go fit jump 4 window... Na kidnappers village u dy head to

tchidi:

Go. Away!!! I have un-partina'd you....

Why

This topic na die! Really made my day!

CharlieMaria: What is danfo ?

Same thing on my mind

Onegai: Trust my mama to have sharp Nigerian mama tongue: "you'll be carrying natural hair up and down, wearing ankara with oily face, she thought you were poor and at her level!"

Why do Nigerians ridicule poor people ??

chinex276: U 4got d football fanatics, now dat 9ja drew yesterday, dey'll argue till d end of their journey.

LEMME SHARE DIS STORY WITH U::

one day while coming frm wrk, i wanted 2 enta a danfo, bt d only place i lyk siting is @ d frnt with d driver nd anothe passenger, so when i reached d bustop i headed 4 d frnt sit, only 2 find a man neatly dressed with suit there, so i joined him after about 20mins d man angrily left d bus nd went 4 another one becos one we were in was taking tym 2 full, after abt 5mins. I too left d bus nd went 2 another one sat at d frnt, lo nd behold it was desame man, after sometyms he angrily left 4 another bus which i unknowingly followed him 2, and met him at d frnt seat, wen d man looked at me, he said "guy na wetin na, y u dey follo me lyk dis, see anybody wey send u tell u no see me", mehn i vex coz oda pple don dey luk me one kind, den i told him, "shebi d moto na ur own, if u no wan siddon 4 public moto go buy ur own na", he den left 4 another bus, wen i thought abt it i jus cant help but laff out LOUD!

Dude, you is a STALKER.

Once I sat on dat seat close 2 d door,the one they lift up i.e.d last chance or one chance seat,somebody wanted get @ his b/stop,so I had 2 get down first 4 him 2 come out,when he got down driver just drove off leaving me behind
Anoda tin I hate is when dey stop u miles away frm ur b/stop or even stop @ d nxt b/stop all in d name of running frm d police & all dey can say is ejo mabinu without any compensation

I was in dis danfo & it started to rain, d passenger @ d back closes d window,d guy infront drags it sheild himself too,den d back passenger says "but oga ur window is closed now" d guy infront replies "madam I reject it IJN it is ur own window dat is closed"

Funny but true

rusher14:

Better than the guy that reads over your shoulder and holds your hand as you flip the page....Na you and am buy the paper?

both people wey neva reach lagos b4 2 dy drop dia testimony.... Chai chai diaris ......

You guys forgot to mention the music noise makers.
These are the guys that play music from their phones (most of the times na chinko oo) and increase the volume so high that everyone must know say na upcoming DJ dem be.
God help you if you are sitted close to one of these guys and you complain, you hear something like " bros, you pay my money join your own ni" and if you press further, omo na insult ooo.