tope2000:

lol . . .
WHAT MADE U SO SURE U WILL BE THE ONE PAYING FOR THE MARRIAGE it might as well be the woman and for the surname I'm not losing it for anyone. I'll be bearing both my maiden names as well my husband's 2gether

You so dont wanna go there on this thread.
Start a thread with this topic and watch the reaction.


PLEASE I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW> How many of us here on this thread were raised by housewives??

I was. A semi-housewife.

I'm sick of hearing Nigerian women trying to talk the yankee independent woman talk. If your husband askes you to quit your job and you don't, don't bother about proceedings, custody hearings or alimony, your ass would be out the door faster than you can say career.

I respect women who have built reasonable careers such as Politicians, Bankers, e.t.c. but when a man speaks, his word is LAW.  


This is exactly why alot of "yankee women" think twice about marrying Naija men.your thinking. Rubbish talk! I am an American woman, who loves and respects my Naija Hubby and he never ask to do something that will belittle my exsistence as his wife.

I can't believe Okija juju just said that.
This marriage thing becomes less appealing daily. I need a break from NL.

j-girl:

Oh NO HE DIDN'T!
Someone tell me Okija was on crack when he posted this.
Even if I'm bearing his name. . . will my parents spend so much money to train me to this level and I'll make use of it catering to one useless insecure pig?
No woman is a property of any man. Your word is your law in your house, fine!
But let's see if the woman is "wise" enough not to cheat on you out of absolute boredom.

Look at who is calling us men insecure. Just because we asked to to quit you job for the sake of the kids and you switch into hyper-PMS mode.
sweetheart get it into your head now, You are your husbands property. Thats why you change your name to his after the dowry is paid.
Now the only reasonable part of your post is the cheating part which could really be a problem. But then, the shit is the same, a working class lady has more reasons and more avenues to cheat than a stay at home mum.
Your parents gave you an education so you dont end up a dumbass. This whole education thing is way over-rated. I would rather have an illiterate but good wife than an educated pain in the butt, who cares about nobody but herself.
And yes, Your husbands words are law. If you doubt me, ask your mum.

This is exactly why alot of "yankee women" think twice about marrying Naija men.your thinking. Rubbish talk! I am an American woman, who loves and respects my Naija Hubby and he never ask to do something that will belittle my exsistence as his wife.

Jesus!! What the heck are my hearing?? Your husband asking you to be a stay at home mum is now belittling?? So my ancestors up till the last generation have been belittling our mums?? What the hell are you talking about??

I'll be damned to let my kids be raised by househelps/nannies.
You are the wife, your job description includes house-keeping/breeding/upbringing.

*Morenike:

No, you wait.
I still can't believe what I read on NL last week; The bride's family pays for the wedding.
So, boy, if you ain't paying for that wedding, she's actually buying U.

And I hope you know that your wife can easily retain her last name in the marriage.

Your words are not LAW, but you may continue to believe so. Respect is 50:50. It's not a one-way traffic, now if you chose to demand respect from her by the cliche "my words are law", then baby, divorce will be rolling down your lane in a SUV

I'll cut my nuts off before I marry a woman who will bear/retain her maiden name. In what deluded world are you living in?? I am old school Nigerian, I paid the bride price, my surname. chikina.

And just so you know dear, I aint scared of divorcing your disobiedient ass any minute dear. What do I have to be scared of?? This is naija, I get sole custody of the children, pay no alimony and could still marry a 22 year old graduate with my money. You on the other hand would end up a frustrated single/divorced sister/usher in some church somewhere.

uuu

God,i looked back and rembr hw frustratin it was wen i didnt av a job.I'm sure housewifery as a career is nt 4 me.hw low can one get,avin to ask 4 evrytin?NO!

OH!my mum is still workin till date. Woman have to be veryyyy wise in combining career and the home.

all of u saying ur husbads would not do it,hehe dont be too sure.
what if your husband wakes up one morning and says he is taking care of u and is able to do more if u as, but what he is asking u for is take better care of your child.
he is insisting, and there is no more peace in the house!!!

@chaircover, thanks for the example you gave. it also happened to a lady that married a cousin of mine. if you see her now, men, i usually pity her. she has been carrying the children up and down and they have dropped from school. she used to be a beauty but now, let's not say more than that
ur post was gud!!

@stillwater, if he wakes up with the idea after 6years,what would you do if it threatens ur msarriage. i have come acccross well educated men that will still ask their wives to sit at home later in the marriage

Hello ladies, what if your husband agrees while you were dating that ok, you can keep your job when you guys eventually marry but after marriage and a baby comes in,then he puts his foot down that you have to quit your job or else, its big trouble , infact he will rake one day and threathen that he might send you to your parents if you are not ready for the motherly responsibilties in a marriage, what will you do? ( and mind you, he does not want a nanny)So what will you do?
Quit your job OR accept your husband's bluff that he might want a separation, then go ahead with your job?
Dicey right? ,

The rule will be pretty simple.

Its either she ouits her job and takes care of the kids or quit mine and she takes care of us.

@angeleyez, u sabi say if fight happen , d luxury ends u would be thrown out without a pin to ur name

If the reason is "reasonable", the wife should comply. The most common reason is to take care of the kids. Though the woman earns no wage for that, but she's working for her family instead of for the government or some corporate entity. Finance should be considered too. If the family will not get into a financial mess as a result of the wife playing her traditional role of house-keeper and nurturer of the kids, then I see nothing wrong in it.

I'll advise the guys to discus this possibility with the woman before marrying her. You don't want to marry someone and later find out that she's anti-common sense!

I wonder what our nigerian women are turning into,seriously,are we still trading the paths of our fathers?i cant imagine asking my wife to quit work inorder to be there for the kids and she comes up with some flaming excuses that she cant and say my word aint law ah i no sure se e fit happen.
this should be planned out before marriage,for me you aint working, i prefer you have a shop,boutique or something close to the house,where youll go when the kids are in school and close when they return home so atleast you can support no matter how small while i do the collar job,i really cant imagine having my kids under the care of a househelp,nanny or my mum or whoever when my 'wife' is alive and healthy
ahh peeps cmon


@okija
rightly said mehn
feeling your posts

i cant remember very well. is it small or big dogs that hangs itself with ropes?

sss

Aba. who wants to marry a lady with no ambition.Abi which man wul;d marry a woman who cant be of help to the home.Its not advisable for men to do that cos that kind of situation is only common to men who are xtremely jealous.

chaircover:

The staying at home to look after children argument.

Please take time to read this argument properly before jumping to conclusions. I do sometimes believe that in some cases It is not always in the children's best interest than mum stays at home indefinitely to look after the kids.

If mum gas been "forced" to be a stay at home mum giving up a good job simply because her husband has threatened to divorce her and she is doing it against her will, then she wont be in the right state of mind emotionally to be the best she can be. She will in time become resentful and bitter.

Stay at home mums are sometimes isolated at home with their children thus depriving the kids of social skills especially if there are no other children in the vicinity. At children's parties you can easily spot the independent kids from the housewife kids. The housewife's kids are the ones who cry when someone new enters the room!

Your stay at home mum housewife generally speaking has no time to read or familiarise herself with what is going on in the world outside of the price of nappies & SMA because she is busy tending to all the needs of the home. Then she stands the risk of losing her husband anyway to the bright 23 year old first class graduate "IT consultant" as she seems more interesting and intelligent than the frumpy one at home. (there is no point dressing to the nines each morning when you wake up if all you will be doing is snapping egusi seeds and adding scoops of milk to bottles)

From my experience I find that I work harder at home than at work. . . . At work you can delegate and plan your workload at home you can't delegate to anyone especially if oga insists on the no housegirl policy & he wont help with any housework. At work I look at the clock and look forward to going home to see my family. I get involved in all the childrens activities and the whole family talks & plays from the moment we get in until bedtime.

I love my job and the people I work with and this is a part of my life that makes me a complete person. I also love the fact that I am able to contribute to my families well being.

Darling hubby thank you so very much for letting me be me. God Bles you. Love you lots & lots, a ma lo ara wa gbo gbo gbo Amin.

any ladies agree with this?

I agree with most of your points. Interesting view.

chaircover:

The staying at home to look after children argument.

Please take time to read this argument properly before jumping to conclusions. I do sometimes believe that in some cases It is not always in the children's best interest than mum stays at home indefinitely to look after the kids.

If mum gas been "forced" to be a stay at home mum giving up a good job simply because her husband has threatened to divorce her and she is doing it against her will, then she wont be in the right state of mind emotionally to be the best she can be. She will in time become resentful and bitter.

Stay at home mums are sometimes isolated at home with their children thus depriving the kids of social skills especially if there are no other children in the vicinity. At children's parties you can easily spot the independent kids from the housewife kids. The housewife's kids are the ones who cry when someone new enters the room!

Your stay at home mum housewife generally speaking has no time to read or familiarise herself with what is going on in the world outside of the price of nappies & SMA because she is busy tending to all the needs of the home. Then she stands the risk of losing her husband anyway to the bright 23 year old first class graduate "IT consultant" as she seems more interesting and intelligent than the frumpy one at home. (there is no point dressing to the nines each morning when you wake up if all you will be doing is snapping egusi seeds and adding scoops of milk to bottles)

From my experience I find that I work harder at home than at work. . . . At work you can delegate and plan your workload at home you can't delegate to anyone especially if oga insists on the no housegirl policy & he wont help with any housework. At work I look at the clock and look forward to going home to see my family. I get involved in all the childrens activities and the whole family talks & plays from the moment we get in until bedtime.

I love my job and the people I work with and this is a part of my life that makes me a complete person. I also love the fact that I am able to contribute to my families well being.

Darling hubby thank you so very much for letting me be me. God Bles you. Love you lots & lots, a ma lo ara wa gbo gbo gbo Amin.

any ladies agree with this?

interesting. do you think some women who dont want to work after child birth should be allowed the choice without being made to feel guilty?

fff

Hmm,

The reasons better be valid.

Thanks to the flexible nature of my Career/Profession

i can work anywhere.

Staying at home, is very welcome.

The answer is YESSSSSSSSS

*raised eyebrow*

Housewifery is the best profession for the feminine gender

So quit your job and start a new one at home and even your kids will be impressed

Yea. . . . and how old are you?

*Morenike:

Yea. . . . and how old are you?

I am in my thirties, so don't be scared. Being a fulltime housewife gives me joy because the educated ones (corporate

woman) we have nowadays are the most frustrating species of the feminine folks

Cipriani:

I am in my thirties, so don't be scared. Being a fulltime housewife gives me joy because the educated ones (corporate

woman) we have nowadays are the most frustrating species of the feminine folks

Do you have a hard time deciding your sex?

LMAO@Morenike

Its a transgendered! Dont be mean

*Morenike:

Do you have a hard time deciding your sex?

thot u were gone morenike?

eh en, really?

LadyT:

LMAO@Morenike

Its a transgendered! don't be mean

lol

*Morenike:

Do you have a hard time deciding your sex?

No, I only took time off

LadyT:

LMAO@Morenike

Its a transgendered! don't be mean

transgendered ko, maleshe ni,

Na you be hefemale