fuckshit:
FÜCK!! this is the FÜCKING truth. straight to the FÜCKING point.

@OP i have been in the same FÜCKED up shït. You've got to FÜCKING think with your head in this one. With the series of FÜCKING chats, she has seen your weakness; you still FÜCKING care for her. Forgive her, FÜCKING yes; take her back, that's your choice to make.
It's a FÜCKING hard one. Just FÜCKING reason with your head & not your heart on this one.

I repeat, FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE from this eveeeel

@Op

kpele o.

she's 21 and ur 31.
Ur ready to settle, while she's in the peak of her sexual drive. If you were her age mate, you'd probably be more around her school environment and be able to calm her down or follow am do hot body.
..with such a case, her cheating is not strange.

You've let your family know about her cheating. If you guys go ahead, they will always look down on her with contempt. Are you ready to tolerate this.

From one bad 9ja man to another:
Why bother the pastor na? If you're trying to prove a point that he is desecrating his position, then go ahead
but he wasn't screwing your wife naw
after all, if she were screwing Ramseh Noah you no go tok say u wan report am to him wife and actors guild
Its different if you're warning him to keep off her, then it would be cool to play that card


there are 2 things that you can do now.

1) break up with her neatly and quickly without much drama. This will hurt both of you
2) Continue with her but gradually let her go so you guys can emotionally adjust slowly

no need sitting on the fence for too long

EyeKandy:
Yeah right!!! **Rolls eyez** By their fruits we shall know them "shes extremely pretty so she gets alot of attention even when im with her". <<--This is clearly your problem. I'll keep saying this: If you can't handle a pretty woman, don't date or marry one. That's not an excuse for promiscuity, but be aware that side distraction will always be there. You are/were her boyfriend, not a guardian angel! Baby girl needed a break from you.

I don't see you as the good guy you portray yourself. You come across as a vindictive, jealous, revengeful and controlling guy. A man ready to build a home forwards incriminating messages to "third parties" and thinks he's justified. Really? Even if she fvcked a priest! If my husband sleeps with a reverend sister, I should forward their messages to his family and entire Catholic Church?

Now rethink this, in the end, what did you achieve with that vindictiveness? ...except your mum asking her to get tested, made your relationship an open book, her mistakes an avenue for humiliation and all kinds of BS all because you were heated? In all your rants to this lady, I'm yet to feel a sincere apology on your part for acting so immature because, of course, her reputation means nothing to you!

Let's assume you're such a great guy, it's either she's loose, hungry for attention or tired of being in bondage so ask her. Your action reduces the bulk of the blame on your girlfriend. Maybe reconciliation would have been easier if you handled things like a grown man would. Maturity in a relationship is not about age or how long you've dated a person. Keep people out of your business. Lastly, you can't force genuine commitment. Forgive her, take a break and re-evaluate your relationship. If she's not willing to be loyal, let her go.

Your love for her seems like an obsession.
(Let's agree to disagree).

i lost control of rational thinking when i saw those messages. consider i only posted part of it. my intention was to bring her down totally and walk away. i wanted to leave. i sent the message to some of her friends and two other guys begging to marry her. i was not thinking straight.
as for the pastor, she quickly called him and i think he was able to get the message off his wife's account. my family is not aware. it only happened that they were on the verge of agreeing.

i'm actually possessive-- i guess that's not bad considering i give her anything she asks for. i spend a good chunk of my earnings taking care of her so she wont look outside. leaving her wont be as easy as every one is saying. shes got her really good sides too. shes very pleasant and courteous and highly sociable. shes does so much-- more like my third arm. those thoughts keep playing in my head. will i ever find a second her?

her parents have called to apologise and just yesterday she did all the tests and sent me the result. she says she'll take a blood oath if i want. im still so confused.

even a new girl will have some history which might be worse. really, what do i do next. i ve moved on. but i hope i wont look back to regret this.

thanks everyone

She is not likely to change. I have seen all these... She will only change when she gets desperate to marry.

Fear randy girls.. haha

boxer022:
My brother this case is a very difficult one, but that not withstanding I will try my best to advice you to the best of my knowledge. Currently I am in your shoe feeling exactly what you are feeling. My advice for you is this, as you said you still love her, and from what she wrote let's believe she loves you. I will give you 2 options to choose from, the first one is to forgive her and give her one final chance. In doing this I will like you to give her one final warning telling her that if this issue repeats its self again, you will not listen to her even if she cries out blood. The second option is letting her go as you do not want to continue with her. I must commend you for being a very matured guy and not cheating on her as a revenge.I know you don't trust her anymore, but I will like you to allow her earn your trust oncemore. I will like you to advice her to go for all form of medical tests so as to be sure she is not infected.

Ever updated an app and realize that the "fixed issues" were all a lie and it will never be the same? That's what giving her a second chance is like.

She loves him, thats true, it is clear but she does not deserve his love.

The relationship is doomed to fail, He will never forget what happened.

He will never trust her again.

He will never take her serious again.

Leaving her is the best option.

eightsin:
Blackmail the pastor and milk him totally dry. Let that be his punishment... as for ur girl... Abeg free her. make she move! Luv no dey finish.. u go luv again. PM me if u need assistance!

really want to get at him. but i feel it will bring her down too as it will be the whole church.you need see some of the dirty things he wrote. damn.... and his congregation will see him as a God of some sort. well, i'm leaving him to God.

Married Pastor-12:39am
Apart from the fact dat u are beautiful, first and foremost I love the fullness of ur thigh and secondly, the way u twist ur ass

My Girl-12:39am
really?

Married Pastor-12:39am
But ......
......there is one thing I'll love to do which u said u don't like

My Girl-12:40am
what

Married Pastor-12:42am
Bury my head in btw ur beautiful and sexy laps

this guy has probably healed some blind and raised a dead. too bad.

neuralnets:


really want to get at him. but i feel it will bring her down too as it will be the whole church.you need see some of the dirty things he wrote. damn.... and his congregation will see him as a God of some sort. well, i'm leaving him to God.

Married Pastor-12:39am
Apart from the fact dat u are beautiful, first and foremost I love the fullness of ur thigh and secondly, the way u twist ur ass

My Girl-12:39am
really?

Married Pastor-12:39am
But ......
......there is one thing I'll love to do which u said u don't like

My Girl-12:40am
what

Married Pastor-12:42am
Bury my head in btw ur beautiful and sexy laps

this guy has probably healed some blind and raised a dead. too bad.

You won't be making it public... u ain't gonna publish d history if he pays. if he doesn't, then u might. If u don't involve d pastor, then he won n u n ur girl lost everything. Even the bible says there are consequences for every action n inaction. D summery is that he has to buy to cover his a.ss n secret.


On a lighter note... this pastor get sweet mouth... he knows what girls wanna hear.

Apart from the fact dat u are beautiful, first and foremost I love the fullness of ur thigh and secondly, the way u twist ur ass

neuralnets:


i lost control of rational thinking when i saw those messages. consider i only posted part of it. my intention was to bring her down totally and walk away. i wanted to leave. i sent the message to some of her friends and two other guys begging to marry her. i was not thinking straight.
as for the pastor, she quickly called him and i think he was able to get the message off his wife's account. my family is not aware. it only happened that they were on the verge of agreeing.

i'm actually possessive-- i guess that's not bad considering i give her anything she asks for. i spend a good chunk of my earnings taking care of her so she wont look outside. leaving her wont be as easy as every one is saying. shes got her really good sides too. shes very pleasant and courteous and highly sociable. shes does so much-- more like my third arm. those thoughts keep playing in my head. will i ever find a second her?

her parents have called to apologise and just yesterday she did all the tests and sent me the result. she says she'll take a blood oath if i want. im still so confused.

even a new girl will have some history which might be worse. really, what do i do next. i ve moved on. but i hope i wont look back to regret this.

thanks everyone

If you let her get away with this one, she will subconsciously register u as a mugu in her mind and will do more to test your limits. She has shown her colours during courtship and you would have to be really stupid to take her back and marry her. If she does the same thing after marriage, you would have no right to accuse her of anything because you knew she was promiscuous and yet you went ahead and married her. If its payback you want, take her back and propose to her and chop everything chopable from her, including your money. Then dump her. But don't marry that one o! Else na regret and maybe HIV.

arsetalks:
I had similar experience. I played "forgiving boyfriend" she abandoned me for another guy while I was planning our introduction.

She came to my house, slept with me non stop for one week in my house with my parents around, got wed to another guy less than 2 weeks later.

A girl who can't be trusted should not be trusted.

At least you sample waist for one week.

Some girls and their strands of HD lies, so much so that some times it will take only God to unravel it. It reminded me of someone chai. I can't shout

Op this is really serious oooo. But I will love to commend your smartness for getting her caught.
One thing I want you to understand every women are the same, even every body are the same . We got attracted to opposite sex easily. How we control is the test of maturity. You are so matured to had able control the cheating temptation. Take a look at her age, 21 she's growing up. How she feeling at the moment, will makes her not thinking of cheating again.

You can still take her back if you really love her as proclaimed. Afterall love is part of forgiveness, you made her realized the wrong enough . And I'm sure the pain will be there on her memory and can never think of cheating on you again., except if she's forgetfully type.

You can see most girls that are advising to move on. They will do worse and will never see it wrong doing, they will even fight you for taken access of their fb account. That you not married to them yet. This girl bitterly regretted her action. Try and forgive.

Just give some conditions at first sha, and stop the benefit you think she enjoy, that makes her stay in the relationship. I'm sure she loves you from what I read so far, she's just trying to be smart. More so, check her friend too , and stop her from bad friends. Best of luck.

OP,just bone d babe.My reason for dis is dat trust is gone;u'll always suspect her.Itz nt good for her,u and your health.

I undastand a bit hw u feel.Two yrs is a long time and it seems u'll neva get over her-Lie!!!
All u nid is time,distance and sincerity.I'm sure in some yrs time,u'll look back and smile cos u'lld neva av tot u could forget abt her.

millos:
"Pls dunt leave me i am ready to hit my head on stone tell anifin u want to mk u forgive but pls dunt leave me alone"

Did she go to school? Better be careful but I think she loves you. .

lmao @ did she go to school? I dont think her apologies are from the heart

Op my own advice for you is to leave her and move on with ur life,and if u want 2 continue, don't get married to her until maybe 2 or 3yrs time

It is now dat she got caught dat she is sorry when she was doing she didn't not know abi or she was possessed...married man 4 dat matter

UjSizzle:
What an epistle

Biko leave that girl alone and move on with your life. I don't think I'll ever understand the science behind cheating

It's an art not science because science is logical and explainable, unlike arts... . Jes kidding

100Cents:
She is not likely to change. I have seen all these... She will only change when she gets desperate to marry.

Fear randy girls.. haha

This is quite thoughtful. You just spoke to me (about someone) now...

Tallesty1:
Ever updated an app and realize that the "fixed issues" were all a lie and it will never be the same? That's what giving her a second chance is like.

She loves him, thats true, it is clear but she does not deserve his love.

The relationship is doomed to fail, He will never forget what happened.

He will never trust her again.

He will never take her serious again.

Leaving her is the best option.

Not totally correct: you see, true love covers multitude of sin. It's hard to let go when you truly love someone...

darlingnuel:
Not totally correct: you see, true love covers multitude of sin. It's hard to let go when you truly love someone...

What is true LOVE?

neuralnets:


really want to get at him. but i feel it will bring her down too as it will be the whole church.you need see some of the dirty things he wrote. damn.... and his congregation will see him as a God of some sort. well, i'm leaving him to God.

Married Pastor-12:39am
Apart from the fact dat u are beautiful, first and foremost I love the fullness of ur thigh and secondly, the way u twist ur ass

My Girl-12:39am
really?

Married Pastor-12:39am
But ......
......there is one thing I'll love to do which u said u don't like

My Girl-12:40am
what

Married Pastor-12:42am
Bury my head in btw ur beautiful and sexy laps

this guy has probably healed some blind and raised a dead. too bad.

Chai! This makes it much harder to forgive...

Tallesty1:
What is true LOVE?

It's love that is true... Hehehehehe...

Hmmmm
Relationship wahala.
I think she loves you a lot and if given another chance she won't hurt you again.
The choice is yours.

Dat's not love, d girl is just been stupid, she will never change,

i have one in my area who left her 9 month old, and 2 yrs old daughters,

wit a neighbor, that she was going to the market, that was d end of everytin,

for good 3 weeks, kno calls from her,

people were thinking dat maybe sometin bad has happened to her,

not knowing dat, she was enjoying herself somewhere wit some1 else,


after good 3 weeks, d lady came back,

can you imagine dat her guy dat she had dose kids for,

accepted her immediately witout asking questions....now wat is d probability dat she


won't leave those children and still run away someday?

We should learn how to make use of our head some times!

And this is a lady of 25 to 26 yrs old, still behaving like a kid.

Most ladies dn't want to be control by any1, they prefer surviving with runs, and notin serious!

Usually i read sob story in the romance section and pass by but due to the nature of this case i had to stop by & throw in my own advice.

I am starting off with the fact that u want to ruin the pastor by bringing his congregation into his private matter. i will not advice u to do that.
You already made ur point when u sent the message to his wife, anything after that is an overkill. Caution urself, when u are angry don’t take actions you will regret later.

as far as i am concerned u have no business with the pastor. all you should have focused on is ur cheating girlfriend.
She knew he was married and was fooling around with him. it annoys me when a guy decides to attack the person ur babe is cheating on u with. What if the man didn’t even know you were dating? What if ur babe had told him the relationship with u wasn’t serious as such?

Dude u totally goofed by bringing her friends and family members into this. It is rash and misguided but then i understand cuz it was an emotional moment. i have been in this kind of situation before. i am forever proud of how i handled the whole thing even though i wanted to go all batshit mental like u did. Just don’t aggravate things more than you already have.
Should u take her back? Man that is a story for the Gods oh!! lolz

If i were in your shoes (being there, done that), i wouldn’t even if she cried the river Thames. Why?
1. For starter's you deserved better.

2. She swore she would never cheat on you. She is cheating with a MARRIED man. That shows what level of a scum she is, this girl will mess ur neighbours, best friend or brother when you get married. (Examine Exhibit C below)
My Girl-10/23, 12:14pm
"I dunt knw, I wanna stay wif u, I want us to continue but so scare"
Married Pastor-10/23, 12:39pm
"I hope we won't eat each oda raw wen next we see" In MI's voice "Married Men chopping them (ur Babe) like biscuit"

3. She only sorry she got caught. This would have continued till after you have married her. it disgust me to think about it that the man's wife introduced her to her husband and she has been fuccking him eva since. she even wanted to move to the company house.
Dude i didn’t catch my Ex @ her game. Guilty conscience made her fess up to me & i still booted her out.

4. Lets say you are Jesus, u forgive her & take her back. How do u handle all the people you sent the message to? Friends, family, her people. U will be the worst wimp & pucci in the world. A man without balls, controlled by emotions. You would lose face & respect; you will become an object of pity.

5. Cheats rarely change; they just get better at the game. The story of my cheating ex is a point of reference. I am still fucckin her even though she is now in a serious relationship with the guy she cheated on me with. (That was my own game plan after breaking up). Yes i am vindictive! There is retribution in my dictionary.
You would think she would have learned a lesson from what happened between me and her. i always feel sorry for the new guy when i am cummin but then karma is a bitch. i am just glad i didn’t take her back cuz she would have continued (based on future actions) & know how to hide it better like she has been doing with the new guy.

Man all i can tell u is you are scared for life. i feel ur pain cuz u love her but please take time off to heal. Don’t even consider goin back to that kinda relationship. Forgive her and move on! Dont get into issues with the married pastor, he didn’t destroy ur relationship. ur babe did, it could have been the mallam selling sweet on ur street fucckin her or anybody else for that matter. Don’t make the man ur scape goat, let his wife deal with him.

That being said, there are more than 3 billion other girls on the planet, why waste ur time with a cheat?

neuralnets:
i'm actually possessive-- i guess that's not bad considering i give her anything she asks for. i spend a good chunk of my earnings taking care of her so she wont look outside. leaving her wont be as easy as every one is saying. shes got her really good sides too. shes very pleasant and courteous and highly sociable. shes does so much-- more like my third arm. those thoughts keep playing in my head. will i ever find a second her?

When I comment on a thread, I barely go back to continue any discussion, but I'll say this. The easiest way to lose a woman is lack of affection. Don't use money or gifts to buy affection. When we give love and respect to people, reciprocity is expected because they genuinely love us. Possessiveness is my No. 1 turn off in a man. I've experienced the same thing all because he's trying to "protect" me.

If you can get past her sins, give her a second chance. From the messages, she's the needy type and likes compliments/attention. Feed her with words of affirmation and spend quality time with her.

If anyone else quoted me, sorry, too busy to be bothered. *un-follows thread*

Something very similar happened when I was in my early twenties with a girl I thought I loved. She cheated and somehow, I discovered. It was a painful but a very necessary decision I took then to let her go after several pleadings including sending emissaries. Bro, I weighed the options left; the insult, my small ego that has been crushed as a man and all that and the possibility of trusting her again. In all, I concluded we are better off apart.



Truthfully, even if you allow her into your life again, your mind will continuously flash back to this incident. You'll be completely insecure in the relationship as you'll always suspect her every move to meaning hanging around some dude. You don't need all this wahala I swear. ALLOW HER TO GO. Painful as it is, be a man and stick to your decision. Bringing her back will backfire.

I got disapointed when I got to the part where you asked if you should take her back

She's got no hrt. For the very fact that she stil wanted to go ahead with a relationship with a married pastor even when it was clear his wife was already suspecting , is totally beyond me

Shez callous and has no respect for God.
And your right, she's only sorry coz she got caught.

Finding it hard to move on coz you tink she's the prettiest you'd ever get
Oh broder plssss!

First thing first, stop acting childish. No need to involve his wife and church members.

Second, discontinue the back and forth chats and messages with your gf atleast for now.

Give yourself some space and time to heal. See if you can forgive her geniuely and when n if only when your head is truly clear can you make a rational decision to accept her back.

I wish you luck

neuralnets:


i lost control of rational thinking when i saw those messages. consider i only posted part of it. my intention was to bring her down totally and walk away. i wanted to leave. i sent the message to some of her friends and two other guys begging to marry her. i was not thinking straight.
as for the pastor, she quickly called him and i think he was able to get the message off his wife's account. my family is not aware. it only happened that they were on the verge of agreeing.

i'm actually possessive-- i guess that's not bad considering i give her anything she asks for. i spend a good chunk of my earnings taking care of her so she wont look outside. leaving her wont be as easy as every one is saying. shes got her really good sides too. shes very pleasant and courteous and highly sociable. shes does so much-- more like my third arm. those thoughts keep playing in my head. will i ever find a second her?

her parents have called to apologise and just yesterday she did all the tests and sent me the result. she says she'll take a blood oath if i want. im still so confused.

even a new girl will have some history which might be worse. really, what do i do next. i ve moved on. but i hope i wont look back to regret this.

thanks everyone

Possessivenes = insecurity = weakness
Pls when next you fall inlove, learn to love and be loved freely.
Posssivenes is never good. It could lead to choking and push your partner away from you.


If you let yourself, you will find someone better its no rocket science.

But like I stated in my previous post, take some space and think it through. But make sure your headz doing most of the thinking and not your hrt

Hmmm well I believe she wnt change move on with ur life guy and find some1 dat deserves u,the magic is nt in getting married it is in staying married.