Rajy00:
flow...flow... flow... y u go use one full update analyse mess na?

No vex abeg. The memories were at that moment infectious like Nostalgia Disease.

good morning in the morning to flow1759 and to all forumite following this thread keenly

Flowey baba ooo. Its been Longtime mehn! Am happy to see this ur new promising ribscraking blockbuster this morning which am 100% sure will meet previous stories popularity.

My main man flow is here again......have being waiting for you to resume back since 1759......welcome back home.....still you flow,still i flow,still i follow

"this Bilikisu girl carry load for front oh" Amos'es mouth was ajar.

"abi Flow how you see am?"

"i no see anything oh"

"guy i don repent oh"

I had repented from chasing girls a little, but the bad company i kept made me drew back. I fought hard against such temptations when they surfaces, but my strenght failed me sometimes.



"na my babe na?" Segun informed.

"no dey lie for us abeg!!! na every girl be your babe??"




Bilikisu was the kind that fought Lion, her chin could attest to that, and i detested such. She had this Nocturnal beauty that fades at the dawning of the day. Her body structure looks attractive from the front view but unpalatable from the rear. If Beauty were measured in Height, then she would be the most beautiful girl in the World, in her Local Government Area rather.


"i don solve maths for on top that girl na" Segun said.

He had truly done that, and severally i must say. I had a beef for Segun. Not only beef, i could add Kpomo if the need be.

Reasons being that all girls were always his: fat, tall, slim, dark, fair, old, young and even K-legged.

When K-leg is mentioned, what comes to my mind is the K-legged sister of a dreaded military man that Segun tried d'isvirginning. That was the day i thought i had lost Segun.



It was a sunny Sunday afternoon in the Cantonment, i had just returned from Iba Estate were i assumed to be my second home, so i decided to pay Segun a visit, on my way to his house, i noticed that the Kunu seller close to his house was out, so i sat for a bottle of chilled Kunu. Before i could take two sips, i saw the dreaded "Sir White" heading towards Segun's House. I took my eyes of him for a while thinking he might as well be heading to the viewing centre close by since there was a football match on, but then on remembering that there was a famous Adage from where i am from that says: "A Toad doesn't just hop in the afternoon, its either it is chasing something or something is chasing it", so i looked to see that nothing was actually chasing Sir White, so i concluded he was chasing something; maybe the Football match between Chelsea and West Ham, or maybe not. But then, I noticed Sir White was holding his "legendary" Jack knife, so i thought twice.

Nneka was the younger sister to Sir White, my brain couldn't lie to me.

There was no gainsaying that Segun was a dead meat, Suya to be precise.

Segun had earlier told me he loved "solving maths" on girls mainly on Sundays when his parents and siblings would still be in church.

His Father was a Pastor, his Mother; a Deaconess, his Sisters; Ushers, his brother; a Keyboardist, so it was obvious that Sundays were Working days for the Oni's except Segun that was an Idol worshipper. He had once told me he worshipped the god of women.



I tried dialing Segun's Number to inform him of the danger that lies ahead all to no avail, so i wept bitterly.

I wept for Segun becuase he had been warned severally by Sir White that if he doesn't leave his sister alone, he would die soon. And for the dreaded Sir White to make such a threat, it was sure not an empty threat


At that moment i thought of either going to buy a Coffin or going to book a space in the Mortuary where Segun's body would be deposited, or better still going to both places at the same time.

I ran, leaving my Tasty Kunu on the table for Natty to have a field day.

That was the day i discovered being a 100metres athlete was in my gene. Within seconds i was close to Segun's Window.


I confirmed my curiousity that Segun was with Nneka, so i cried with a loud voice; "Segun!!! Sir White dey come".

"ehn!! ehn!! which White clotheeeeee? i no dry any white Clothe forrrrrrrrr outside jorrrrrrr!!" His voice sounded like he was at O'rgasm.


Sir White berged in on the Maths solving and the equation was balanced.




The Jack knife saw Segun's Heart.





So sad!!


That was the blackest Sunday i had experienced.

I saw a River Nile of Blood.



He was rushed to the Hospital, and..............................






and..............................................................





He kicked the...................................................




He was able to kick...........................................







He was able to Kick Football in the next two months.




The knife did not drive too close to his Heart to kill him. The Doctors said if he had just but sneezed, He would had Died.


Thank God he didn't sneeze, because if he had sneezed, who would had borrowed me 45,000 naira when i lost my boss'es 50,000 naira, if he had sneezed, James wouldn't had live up to celebrate his 28th birthday, if he had sneezed, Amos would had lost his child to Malaria.


Thank God he didn't sneeze.


And all thanks to the Medical Response System in the Cantonment as at then.




"you get mind to chyke that girl?" I doubted.


"i say, i don solve that maths" Segun pointed at Bilikisu.


"ok we don hear you" I envied the G'igolo a bit.




We left Mama Sikiru's place by about 1930 Hours.


I, Segun and James headed to the Cantonment while Amos headed to his Beloved home in Shomolu.

Emperortj93:
good morning in the morning to flow1759 and to all forumite following this thread keenly

How you dey? Long time mehnnnn.


where are the likes of Mazi, Ishilove, Chistar, etcetera

FLOW......I'm enjoying it...I love the style of the story,very simple nd funny

Floooooooooooow! #The boss has arrived# STAND UP EVERYBODY & SALUTE. #Man wey dey reason was bomb# #This one will be bomber#. Oni popcorn! Oni popcorn! Fun gbo gbo eyan wey dey here Pop-corn 1000 naira.























#After that! Collect your money# Welcome everybody# let's comment steadily! So as to shoot this thread for the #Best Thread of 2015# Flow! Oya come here! Oya salute the boss! #Nice Story#

Lance Corporal Chibuzo Eze aka Sir White was the most dreaded Soldier in the cantonment. He scared everyone, even his fellow Soldiers, little wonder he was always kept on duty at the cantonment gate. Being very fair in complexion, infact he could best be described as an escaped Albino, he was nicknamed "White", he later added the "Sir" suffix for respect sake. He does his job with all dexterity, and wickedness also. If curses where Peanut, he had eaten about 70 bags. He beats people at ease. Frog Jump was his special drill, he gave out frog jumping orders like the comedian Basketmouth tell jokes.

I will never forget the day he told an old woman to do Frog jump just because she littered the floor. I was the sacrificial Lamb that day.

I told him i would help the old woman do the drill, and he was like: "you wan help am abi? you don buy job be that".

I bought a job indeed that day.

10 minutes, and i had gone 10 times to and fro a 15metres distances, and Sir White was cheering me with his usual Frog jump slogan; "jump like nwa awo!!".

I really jumped like a "soon to be roasted" nwa awo.

I know the Yoruba folks will interpret "Nwa Awo" to be "Son of Awolowo", but no, that isn't the meaning, it means: "Son of a Frog".

The old woman in question had left as ordered by Sir White.

20 minutes, and i had gone 15 times. I was beginning to feel my intestine coming up towards my throat.

At that moment i saw my spirit left my body.

I was seeing myself in heaven. I saw the angels saying: "welcome!! welcome!! you are indeed a Good Samaritan".


"pooooooerrr!!" the thundering slap of Sir White brought me back to reality from heaven.

"common!! stand up Onye oma Emeka"

I stood up but couldn't walk. I saw stars flew round my head like Tom and Jerry would, at some point, the stars changed to birds, and then to what looked like Fishes.

"vamoose for here!!" Sir white thundered.

But at that moment i couldn't feel my leg, i felt two logs of wood instead.


Since that day i thought twice when helping someone serve a punishment, especially when one Sir white was involved.

Eya i pity u o,anyway nyc update

i know that was short. i was kind of busy..................... make una no vex

flow1759:
i know that was short. i was kind of busy..................... make una no vex

it isnt easy typing... hoping u'll drop another one soon sha...

"aehhhhhhh! stop there!! where your gate pass?" The voice was familiar.

"i leave am for house" James spoke before he thought. He always did that most time.

"ehen!!! that one mean say you don buy market be that" I could figure out the voice, it was no other than Sir White.



His fair complexion glowed in the dark that night.

"oga White na me na, na you man Sege, the Mathematician"

Since the Nneka Saga, Segun and Sir white were best of friends. Segun sometimes helped him fetched Girls in his ocean of beautiful girls.

"eahhhhh! my main man!! the Mathematician" Sir white hailed.

Segun had always sang to whoever cared to hear that he studied Mathematics in School, but graduated with a third class, but in another Mathematics, he was a graduate of first class, first class upper if possible. That was the Mathematics of women.

"how you dey na!!!" That was the first day i saw Sir White smiled, he had a glowing dentition, that could serve as my Mirror.

"where una dey come from?" He inquired.

"we dey come from work" I answered.

"wetin una carry for bag?"

"na CDs" James answered.

"CD!!!!" Dogo inquired.

"Yes sir!!" I answered

"una dey sell C'ondom fa?"

"Yes!! ehhhhhh sorry i mean, No" I stammered.

"oga Dogo no be C'ondom, na CD" The annual reports were in Cd form.


Dogo was the Iroko tree we had in the Cantonment. As tall as he was, he still wore a very high Army boot to work, and whenever he wore such, he was almost equal the height of an Electric pole.

If wickedness was measured in Centimeters, Sir White's Wickedness would be 97cm while Dogo's would be 89cm.


"Dogo! allow them make them pass, them be my people" Sir White commanded.


Immediately we stepped into the Barracks, it started raining, so we quickly hopped into the next available Keke. If only time could speak, it could had told Segun not to board that particular Keke.




We were about 200metres away from the Cantonment gate when a Man that sat in front brought up a topic based on the Politics of the Day, I am a Political Fanatic to the core but that day, i kept my cool, because i had warned myself long ago that i would never argue politics when i was Hungry, it was unhealthy to the brain, and the stomach too; it could cause stomach Ulcer, infact it had once caused me stomach Ulcer.



All of a sudden, another Keke carrying what looked like Manure rode roughly close to ours.

"you no go drive well abi!!" I yelled at the rider.

It still rode roughly, trying to overtake.




"gboooeeer!" from no where, it collided with the right side of our Keke and the Manure aka Fowl s'hit fell on Segun who was at the extreme right.


If that was all, i wouldn't had laughed at Segun.

The Manure sack had an opening that poured out its content baptising Segun, with baptism name Segelico Manurelico.

I laughed like i was watching "i go die" say comedy.


Segun's beard turned Manure in colour, making him looked like father Christmas.





Home was indeed a sweet home, but for the call i received the next day

I thought I saw 4kizo viewing?

baba flow the badest boss, chai I miss you

flow1759:
I thought I saw 4kizo viewing?

I still remain ur die hard fan,
abeg who dey front seat shld make way for me before I repeat what happened in 1943........
oya barman give me one bottle orijn with fish pepper soup and give flow one big 1759

**********************************************************
FOR THE "JJC's"

...---Flow1759---... Is an Idol here incase you dont know,,,,,So sit ur but down & enjoy the Story,,,,If u have anymore question "LIFT" ur hands and ask "NICELY"...... Pls we don fight here & "FLOW1759" doesn't compete with any writer,hes just himself....(d last time i checked)......
:
Guys if theres any babe ur eyeing here,,,,Kindly say it OPENLY here so ur ministry can be helped.......Same 4d babes..
:
:
: Plzzzzz Dont Drink while reading this Story,,,,,,if U must Drink ,,,,,,,Drink 'Origin'
:
:

& Kindly note that "Flow1759" has his WAEC Certificate intact.....
.
.
.
.
Tenks,,,,,,,'Origin in d system' )8
**********************************************************

horpe132:
**********************************************************
FOR THE "JJC's"

...---Flow1759---... Is an Idol here incase you dont know,,,,,So sit ur but down & enjoy the Story,,,,If u have anymore question "LIFT" ur hands and ask "NICELY"...... Pls we don fight here & "FLOW1759" doesn't compete with any writer,hes just himself....(d last time i checked)......
:
Guys if theres any babe ur eyeing here,,,,Kindly say it OPENLY here so ur ministry can be helped.......Same 4d babes..
:
:
: Plzzzzz Dont Drink while reading this Story,,,,,,if U must Drink ,,,,,,,Drink 'Origin'
:
:

& Kindly note that "Flow1759" has his WAEC Certificate intact.....
.
.
.
.
Tenks,,,,,,,'Origin in d system' )8
**********************************************************

and support am with fish pepersoup

4kizo:
and support am with fish pepersoup

so d campaign wud continue with a plate of bread and beans




#buy ur bread and beans here«-»

"Grnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" my phone rang.


"Hello!! Peter are you out working already?"

"No......eh! I mean..... Yes" I lied.

"Report at the office pls" The GCFR had spoken.

"Any problem?" I inquired.

"No problem, just come to the office now"


"but i dont have transport fare, I am in Surulere Already" I told a Bloody lie.

"don't worry your transport fare will be sorted out"


I thought i was receiving that call in my dream. But no, if i wanted someone to call me in my dreams, it woulnn't be Kel.

I glanced at the clock, and it said 11:34am. I had woke late, i was very very weak, like i had hangover. Like the Coke i drank the previous night was 70% alcoholic.

I had woke earlier by 6:45am to join my Family in the usual morning devotional, but after the devotional, i went back to continue my sweet dream.

I had dreamt that i was a running mate to a presidential flag bearer of a political party, and that the presidential flag bearer died mysteriously and i was chosen to be the flag bearer. My party won the Election, so i became the president automatically. But one funny thing was that the country i was elected to lead cannot be located in present day Planet Earth, maybe it could be found in Jupiter or Saturn, i told myself. The Country was Federal Republic of Sapota. Something was just not right about that dream; the name of the political party was out of this world; it was FFP - Food For the People.


But after the morning devotion, i dreamt of an entirely different thing: I saw myself n'aked, playing with Monkeys, then all of a sudden, one of the Monkeys grabbed my b'alls bringing it close to it's mouth. Then i saw my p'enis changed to a ripe Banana. I screamed as the Monkey brought the Banana close to its mouth.


Then Kel's call saved me.




45minutes later, i was in the office, but before i entered, i had made sure i kicked as much dust as possibe while walking so they would be convinced i had been out working.


"Good morning Kel" I thought it was still morning.

"Good afternoon Mr Peter"

"which day this one begin call me Mr Peter" I said to myself.

"why did you call me here? hope no wahala?"

"yes, no wahala, or do you want one?"

Kel was the best wahala giver since Osama Bin Laden. She gave me serious troubles on per Seconds billing. But i wouldn't blame her, i started it all.



It all started when i was in school. One day i saw the biggest a'ss i had ever seen since Mercy Johnson. I fell for the a'ss and not the carrier so i asked her out. When i was asking her out, i did it like "play play", i never expected her to agree to date me. But like "play play" also, she agreed, and since that day i had never dried tears.


It was in first semester Final year, and since i broke up with my last girlfriend when i was in 2nd year, i made a decision not to date any other girl till after school. Then the dare devil came.


She started by showering me undiluted Love, so i fell for her. We were like love birds; sharing everything, even p'anties. Yes, i started secretly wearing female p'anties beneath my boxers because she told me the food i ate made my p'enis grew bigger and every other part of my body was reducing in size.

She gave me Money, i gave her Honey in return.

I hated that she was so jealous a lover. The degree at which she was jealous was 270 degrees Fahrenheit. She was so jealous that if she saw me walking hand in hand with my Mum, she would be thinking we just had s'ex. The ocean of jealousy in the relationship was raelly drowning me.





Then one day..............................





There is always a one day..........................


She met the Course rep of my department in my house. That was the day my whole world came crumbling down.



She gave me two dirty slaps that made me started speaking Swahili garnished with Hausa instantly.


Saying my Course Rep was the most beautiful girl in Campus was an understatement, she was the most beautiful girl in three Nigerian Campuses put together. She's got Beauty and Brains. Very very intelligent. She was every man's dream girl in my Department. Some guys would love to change their course of study to Industrial Physics in other to be close to Chinonso my course rep.


What happened that day was that; Chinonso came to see her female friend in my Hostel, so on seeing her, i told her to come know my room; i thought she would say No, but to my greatest surprise, she obliged. So i used the opportunity to tell her to continue teaching me the Schrodinger Equation she was explaining to me the previous day at school, she also obliged. I thought i was dreaming.


While she was lecturing me, i sat very very close to her; too close for comfort, and moving closer and closer, like i was about swallowing her like Eba.


Then she asked: "why are you moving too close to me?"

I answered: "because i like the texture of your skin, can i touch it?".

Her skin shone like the morning Sun.

"you can touch it only in one condition"

"whatever the condition is, i will do"

"i want your head cut of" She giggled.


"can i get knife?" I was ready to cut of my head just to touch her beautiful skin.


"no ooooh!! the condition is that; after touching, you will move a bit far from me"


I moved so far from her that i was few Centimeters away from the door.



She laughed and said: "you are such a comedian"


"why i no go be comedian? infact i go talk joke wey Bovi and Basketmouth not fit talk as far as you go gree make i touch your skin" I said to myself.



"ok! ok! you can now touch my skin" she agreed. I thought i was deaming


Just when i was about touching her fresh skin...........................




Kel berged in..................................................... gave me two hot dirty slaps and left promising to "show me"


"show me what?" I thought.



Show me in a distant time i suppose.



Show me in Wilo Courier Services.



"you wrote wrong reports Yesterday" She brought out my reports.


I wept bitterly.

nice 1 fflow... u 3 much

waslead300:
nice 1 fflow... u 3 much

Thank you........................................ Pls can someone pls bring ishilove here, tell her i just want to say hi

my guy flow9ooooooooooo I miss u pass my babe for village o. welcome and happy new year to the best brother on narialand.com who keep me awake. hope say these one go remove my skull o

4kizo:
and support am with fish pepersoup

1bottle of orijin please,
am lovinq the atmosphere of the thread.

flow1759:



Thank you........................................ Pls can someone pls bring ishilove here, tell her i just want to say hi

Ogar of "Man where deh reason" i double throway salute 4 you, long time more ink to your e-pen.

@ madam Ishilove pls ur attention is needed here o...

Ishilove de do politics! Mehn its good to have u back!!! I feel so much joY right now! Its like having ur fav soap back after such a long hiatus!

flow1759:



Thank you........................................ Pls can someone pls bring ishilove here, tell her i just want to say hi

"so u have refused to fall for my advances abi?" she rolled her eyeballs s'edutively.

"i am not interested in you again" I eyeballed.

"but we once loved each other" she moved close.


"i once loved you, but this love is a lost one, i can't find it, don't you get?" My lips were close to kissing her, and i percieved her breath stinked.



"thats a big lie" She pushed me away, as i nearly fell into the trash can in the office.




"see! i think its high time you come to terms that i am no longer yours"


"you left me accusing me of cheating on you, without allowing me to explain, just because you a saw a girl in my room?"

"see, i think you have to move on with your life, i have"

"so who are you seeing now?" She needed to know.

"thats none of your business, you left me three years or so ago, and fortunately or unfortunately we meet again here, i wonder what devil brought you to me, i wonder".

Woo betide the Devil that traced Kel to me. After the Chinonso saga, i never saw Kel again, she refused picking my calls, and she barred me from coming to see her in her Hostel with this text message: "Mr Flow, if i as much as see you come close to my Hostel or Department, the B'lack a'xe confraternity will roast you alive, and i will have your meat for Dinner........Bye".

Since that day, i dreaded anything "Victory", not to talk of "Hostel", as well as i dreaded anything "Micro", not to talk of "Biology" department. Infact, if one made a statement like: "Victory Hostel Micro Biology Department", i would run to Somalia and preferred it peaceful. Why? You would ask. The reason was simply because Kel's elder brother was the head of the B'lack a'xe confraternity in my school, and also that i had turn a new leaf as per activities of a secret cult.



"i guess it's your Course rep that you are seeing now?"

"i don't know, or better still, you can ask Google for all i care" That statement really pissed her of, i saw her face frowned making her uglier.


"but i want you back" She grabbed me tight and placed my hand on Mountain Kilimanjaro. Her Kilimanjaro!!. My Aso rock stood like it was on parade.




Just then.......................


Funmi berged in on us.


"so this is what you guys do during office hours?" My Aso rock was still on parade, Funmi took a glance at it, she added one more glance.


"gen gen!!!!!!!!!!!! i done die today!!!!!" My heart beat increased.

"has it zipped!" Kel tried covering up, like i was helping her zip her dress.

"no!!!yes!!! it has zipped" I stammered.

"Mr zipper!! clap for yourself" I almost clapped.

"you can as well come help me zip my own too" She turned.



Funmi Akeju.............. The first daughter of Wole Akeju, a graduate at 24, she Managed all her Dads strings of Businesses in Lagos and beyond. Tall,Dark; the kind of dark skin that made the late Tupac Shakur sang "The Blacker the Berry, the sweeter the Juice, The Darker the Flesh, the deeper the Roots".


Roots!! that was what Funmi lacked, she lacked firm roots, she lacked discipline, a spoilt brat indeed. Her Dad provided all she wanted; she attended the best of private Universities in Nigeria, go to the best of places to have fun with her friends lavishing her Dad's money, Silverbird Cinema Lagos was like her sitting room. The type that ate Breakfast in Tasty Fried Chicken, Lunch in Tantalizers, and Dinner in Big Treat. Her Dad's Favorite amongst his Three girls.


She was very very rude, infact "ruder" than Ruud Van Nesteroy.


Yet she was another trouble to Flow's soul. A Bigger trouble.



"eheeeeeeen i wasssssssss....."

"shut up!! you p'ervert!!!" Funmi cut me mid way my saying gibberish.

"so this is what you do everyday! office romance, my Dad must hear this" Like her dad was God.

"and you will both lose your job" She threatened.


"hahahaha!!! and you believe he will sack me?" Kel laughed out loud.

"why not? you both better start looking for another job"

In my mind i had started looking for another job; i thought of joining my friend Niyi to fry Akara for his Mum.

"i know you both will be joining the unemployment market in the next 24 hours" Funmi boasted.


At that moment I saw a crown on Funmi's head, she had become the Queen of England in my mind's eye.


"i dare you Funmi" I was shocked at Kel's boldness. I wondered what gave her the effrontery to dare the Apple of Mr Wole's eyes.


"you a'shawo girl!!" Funmi cursed.

"and you tutored me in the Federal University A'shawo" Abuses were raining Cat and Dog.


"stop insulting yourselves na!!!" I said that about a hundred times.


"you think i don't know your secret?" Kel threatened.

On mentioning the word "secret" Funmi's abuses stopped abruptly, and i wondered why.


Kel had a field day abusing Funmi who rushed into her Dad's office and shut the door.


The "secret" Kel spoke of was what i tried grappling with.

"make i no dey involved for this secret oh" I thought.


"you!!! you see what you have caused abi?"

"this little girl exchanging words with me" Kel pointed fingers at me.


I thought of the rate of Unemployment in Nigeria, so i cried:"abeg make una no make me lose my job oh".

Kel hissed and said: "you better continue your work, or you get out of my front!!" I was becoming worthless to Kel by the day.

Something in me told me i would soon loose my Job, but another thing deep inside told me as far as Funmi remained the daughter of Mr Wole, i would never loose my job.

Or so i thought.

nice update... abeg wen d next update go be... STILL U FLOW

Still he flows AND still I follow

Warlord3000:
Still he flows AND still I follow

You be correct.................................................................... You don go War before Mr Warlord?

Still i flow with my flow who is also flowing. Together we flow.

hahahaha, u wan fry Ankara