pickabeau1:


Which impression

Why should a woman be compensated for her time with a man
Are the sexes not equal again

They want to be independent yet kept at the same time

Does it make sens

Alimony is from an era when women had no choice but to be subservient to men in marriages so if they were thrown out they had nothing

Now they re empowered yet marriage is an office to them

I cant see you not reading me at all, sir..... let us take a example of 2 couples.
Mr and Mrs Joe.... oth working, husband making 100k $ a year, wife only 35k a year
Mr and Mrs Ada... husthusband making 50k$ a year and wifey maing 45k $
Tell me if both have been married for 10 years with 3 kinds ages 10,7, and 3.
Things fall apart and divorce happens.
Be the judge, how should things be..... woman did not commit adultery oh

pickabeau1:


Madam

Make your point rather than asking roundabout questions

rman:


Stop trying to convince Fhemmy.

Women want equality with men, but they always approach all issues with men from a position of weakness.

They wait for the men to approach,they prefer older men, richer men, stronger men. They also want to profit by dating or marrying men. Even the biological role of mothers that they all crave, men must be made to pay.

I still do not understand the twisted logic!

Make your own damn money and do not see your relationship/marriage as a get away ticket away from poverty and everyone will be happy.

You can imagine some listing sex and taking care of the baby as things they should be compensated for in marriage. So these things do not bring joy anymore the moment the male figure is out of it?

rman:


Stop trying to convince Fhemmy.

Women want equality with men, but they always approach all issues with men from a position of weakness.

They wait for the men to approach,they prefer older men, richer men, stronger men. They also want to profit by dating or marrying men. Even the biological role of mothers that they all crave, men must be made to pay.

I still do not understand the twisted logic!

Make your own damn money and do not see your relationship/marriage as a get away ticket away from poverty and everyone will be happy.

You can imagine some listing sex and taking care of the baby as things they should be compensated for in marriage. So these things do not bring joy anymore the moment the male figure is out of it?

bukatyne:

My question is very simple
Who owns the baby in standard Nigerian society?

Fhemmmy:


I cant see you not reading me at all, sir..... let us take a example of 2 couples.
Mr and Mrs Joe.... oth working, husband making 100k $ a year, wife only 35k a year
Mr and Mrs Ada... husthusband making 50k$ a year and wifey maing 45k $
Tell me if both have been married for 10 years with 3 kinds ages 10,7, and 3.
Things fall apart and divorce happens.
Be the judge, how should things be..... woman did not commit adultery oh

pickabeau1:


Answer the question yourself
she is working and has a source of imcome yet she wants to latch on the man for more money?

Fhemmmy:


Now i see your stand, the woman should walk away with nothing and the man takes the house and the kids I guess according to your "she has an income" theory.....
if you're the man, you would sleep at peace in such home?
Lemme guess, you probably throw those kids out too for her to sort them out and you do big boys in club at night, while kids that are used to family income of 135k$ per year will now have to depend on 35k$ per year.....
I hail, sir... na you biko.

ferdimako:

When you were begging jennykadry to let your brother marry her sister-in-law, were you having this in mind? We're all hypocritical.

pickabeau1:


Should a woman be compensated for having a child, her own child

bukatyne:


Answering my question with another question?

Fhemmmy:


Here is a scenario for you...
Ada and John are fresh graduate, got a job, married and start life together from nothing, Ada making 100k Naira a month while John making 150K Naira a month.... they have 2 kinkids ages 2 and 3.... yawa gas and have to go separate ways......they have buildbuilt a nice house...
Ada gets home before John daily and cooks while getting kids ready for bed.

Who should take the house
Who should take the kids to take care?

pickabeau1:


i never said such. you are inputting that yourself

is it fair that a woman is entitled to wealth she did not participate in

Should assets pre marriage be shared

No need to be sensationalist to impress our ladies here

Chairman, I am not here to impress NO one, I have a mother and the only boy in my family.... I dont wanna raise my son to thinknit is fair to kick his wife into the cold with nothing, and if you are worried about losing the house you built before marriage, sign a prenuptial agreement BUT pal, I just gace you a scenario and your response tells it ALL, she has income of 35k $ a year compared to the man who is making 100k$.
like i sail, I hail you..... AGAIN, I dont go fpr cheap publicity, but I stand behind what is right and fair.....
U know you one of people I respect on this forum and trust me, it wont change.... only that I won't allow anyone I cared for to marry you...., but still love and respect you.

pickabeau1:


it is your right to answer or not

rman:


You can not use the exception as the norm.

The norm is girls always want to marry established guys. And that is a fact.

Amhappy:
Fatal attraction comes to mind. No wonder most of the crimes shown on it are committed by humans in black skin and i do wonder if white skin doesnt kill their partners. There is no justification for a premeditated cool blood murder of any other human being whether you are provoked or not. Dont these men provoke their wives? So why where they not killed first. Wives in Nigeria provoke their husbands and vice versa yet we dont see a killing spree. Abeg all this argumentative essay should park well. When this evil befall your sisters or daughters in future please dont even call for the man's arrest,shake his hand,bless him and let him go. This shows no regard or santity for human life. Thou shall not kill says the Lord. He who take a life must answer for it. Why take what you cannot give?

Fhemmmy:


Chairman, I am not here to impress NO one, I have a mother and the only boy in my family.... I dont wanna raise my son to thinknit is fair to kick his wife into the cold with nothing, and if you are worried about losing the house you built before marriage, sign a prenuptial agreement BUT pal, I just gace you a scenario and your response tells it ALL, she has income of 35k $ a year compared to the man who is making 100k$.
like i sail, I hail you..... AGAIN, I dont go fpr cheap publicity, but I stand behind what is right and fair.....
U know you one of people I respect on this forum and trust me, it wont change.... only that I won't allow anyone I cared for to marry you...., but still love and respect you.

rman:


You can not use the exception as the norm.

The norm is girls always want to marry established guys. And that is a fact.

Chillisauce:


This man you fuuny sha.

LMAO @being joyful spending all your life taking care the kids that when they turn 18yrs, will find their way. Continue being joyful, when you spend all you career peak and tomorrow, sent packing by one of your joys (husband) who practically takes everything in divorce, because you were so joyful in taking care of the kids that you forgot that joy will be your paycheck later in the yr.


You go fear reasoning na!
Things bringing joy indeed. When dem pursue you for house, we go know how far the joy go last.

bukatyne:


How many 'established' guys do we have around

jaybee3:

Plenty

babyosisi:

The cases we have read in America haven't been more than ten
In just one LGA in Nigeria,you can easily find ten cases of men killing their wives or vice versa
There is no killing spree here so let's not blow it out of proportion
I have lived in America for years and it is not at all common
Many bad marriages end in divorce and the people move on,the psychopaths who go ahead and kill are few and far between,there is no epidemic

pickabeau1:
You know i respect you too bro.. Thanks for the hailing

You still dont get the point

This is the fundamental issue here

You are talking of sentiments and what sounds good
I am talking of what is logical

afterall modern marriage is not about what is nice but based on logic

You are saying a working woman should still be placed on crutches because she had the fortune of marrying you
She is equal to you

That is insulting to our empowered ladies

Except you now say you believe in male headship in marriage
Then i support you

bukatyne:


How many 'established' guys do we have around

What is your definition of 'established'?

Fhemmmy:


If you were logically looking at the scenario, you would see that, it is not about the fortune, it is about the right and wrong which is what law is all about..... the woman is not parting with no fortune cos 100k $ a year is no fortune.... they probably still paying mortgage, car finance, kids still in school. .. bro, that money is nit enough to be called wealth.
so the logic here is, in that scenario, she will need more than what she is making to make ends meet and look after YOUR children, or should she take up second job?

rman:


You completely missed my point.

Make your own money. If you feel having a husband and babies will prevent or limit your ability to make it, do not go into marriage or have babies.

Asking to be compensated for being married and having kids is what I do not understand. Build your own house, buy your own car....forcing a man to part with his wealth because of marriage or kids is extortion in disguise.

It is quite simple.

bukatyne:


LOLS!

The ones selling pepper or the ones that are on low level employees?

Where are the 'established' guys that all girls want to marry?

Fhemmmy:


Always in your statement is not true, you could say MOST and we wont argue, but I dont even have to argue sef, cos you said "girl" a girl is too young to understand marriage, try and say "lady" then we could talk of many that dont need your money cos they just want a happy home

Chillisauce:


If you dont want to part with your small money. Don't get married or sign a pre-nup. It's that simple.

pickabeau1:


At the bolded.. i rest my case
She does not see the kids as hers' but the man's

Simple

Chillisauce:


Everything is all about money to these folks. See them shouting my money, my money. Some of them the wives dont even know their bank or property details in and out of the country.
when they die sudden death, the bank takes all, extended family takes the rest.
Fish brains, they only think of the immediate, not the future.

Butcher your wife and end up picking soap in jail. Children end up in welfare. Penny wise, pound foolish and you think these are the people answering "head of the family". With these kind of reasoning.
Twah!!!

rman:


Then you agree with me women see marriage as a business investment.

pickabeau1:
You know i respect you too bro.. Thanks for the hailing

You still dont get the point

This is the fundamental issue here

You are talking of sentiments and what sounds good
I am talking of what is logical

afterall modern marriage is not about what is nice but based on logic

You are saying a working woman should still be placed on crutches because she had the fortune of marrying you
She is equal to you

That is insulting to our empowered ladies

Except you now say you believe in male headship in marriage
Then i support you