Chinum:


Wow

babyosisi:


The girl bu asa mpete

bukatyne:
@Hotstepper:

Asanwa baby, Omo to chun, Omo pupa.

You look So beautiful with a beautiful story you have got.

God bless your home.

I am an ambassador of building together.

Hotstepper:

I bia kwa

Hotstepper:

MarvellousGod:
After two kids?? .. Mehn you gats be my role model, how did you retain your shape even after childbirth? Or you don't just naturally go fat after birth?

You're cute...

sunvick:
@ Hotstepper
you are really a good stepper and hot you stepped it.

@ evina HML and Jah's blessing to you family

100pages and counting. very few encouraging marriage experiences.



BTW
@BB the initiator of this thread and other elderly ladies here.
Can you guys can put up dedicated thread to teach younger ladies on how to set their priorities straight (concerning choosing a man, dev marriageable xters ) and wake themselves up from the fantasies of some imaginary utopia..


God bless you all....

Hotstepper:
Thanks! I naturally go back after 1 week

Chinum:


Kai. I went back to take an additional peep but the pix disappeared.

Hotstepper:
Thanks! I naturally go back after 1 week

PearlO:



Thank u very much bt I fink u came late coz I had long left n ve arrived ma new destination......

sunvick:
@ Hotstepper

BTW
@BB the initiator of this thread and other elderly ladies here.
Can you guys can put up dedicated thread to teach younger ladies on how to set their priorities straight (concerning choosing a man, dev marriageable xters ) and wake themselves up from the fantasies of some imaginary utopia..


God bless you all....

babyosisi:


Elderly kwa
E don reach like that?
Efemenaxy please come o
Insult don enter

Just kidding

sexynne:
sorry guyz...i'm new at dis so u all shld pardon my mistakes. you are all doing a gud job.
Here is my own wahala...my husband blows hot and cold air. sometimes he is sensitive, most times he is not. Every little mistake has to be me. a perfectionist yet cant help me with chores at home, always complaining, has temper issues. Infact my list plenty. But then, all of a sudden he will become lovey dovey for a little while before going back to status quo.

gleatz:
@Hotstepper;
I am encouraged with your story. Would share my beautiful story soonest.
Your Angel is beautiful and from all indications she took after you in that department.

God bless your home dear.

@bukatyne & Cococandy, welcome back to the thread.
Expecting to read from @Efe & jennykandry.

Hotstepper:

Lol! U have to wait another 6 yrs to see another one

babyosisi:


Elderly kwa
E don reach like that?
Efemenaxy please come o
Insult don enter

Just kidding

Ngokafor:




..Lol @imaginary utopia

@Hotstepper I love your story...stay blessed dear.

Madampinkolo:
from christianpostdotcom

Recently, one of my relatives confided to me, "I've just realized that I've been verbally abused all of my married life. I'd never heard of verbal abuse until recently. I didn't know what it was, much less, what to do."
As I talked with Georgia (not her real name), I heard what had been happening behind closed doors – for decades. Ultimately, the longer we choose to live in an emotionally abusive relationship, the more we're inclined to view an abusive lifestyle as "normal." Then we find ourselves living fear-based lives, being powerfully manipulated by our abuser.

Six-Step Strategy to Stop Abuse

To curtail the abuse, Georgia needed a plan. [b]"You can't change someone else, but you can change yourself so that the abusive tactics are no longer effective." [/b]I shared with her the following six-step strategy:

#1: Clearly state what you are willing to accept and are not willing to accept from the abuser.

Communicate your position in positive terms. Keep your statement short and succinct. Don't justify and don't apologize. Simply state your boundaries.

"I want our relationship to continue, but I'm not willing to listen to name calling. … I'm not willing to hear your accusations. … I'm not willing to endure any longer the onslaught of profanity."

#2: Announce the consequence you will enforce if the abuser violates your boundary.

Consequences are part of God's divine plan that what we sow, we will reap. Galatians 6:7 (NIV) states, "A man reaps what he sows." Repercussions should include disengaging or distancing yourself from the abuser. You can't change the abuser, but you can remove yourself from frequent exposure to unacceptable behavior.

"I want to be with you, but if you call me any kind of name again, I will leave for a time. … If you persist in making that accusation, I will end our conversation. … If you choose to use profanity, I will choose to be with others where we can share positive, healthy conversations."

#3: Enforce the consequence every single time the abuse occurs.

Do not bluff! The abuser needs to know that you will follow through consistently. Plan on being tested multiple times. In your mind and heart, say no to manipulation, no to pressure, no to control. Eventually, there's a good chance your abuser will stop … but only after the behavior proves to be ineffective. James 5:12 (ESV) says, "…let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no."

#4: Absolutely do not negotiate.

Since abusers do not use words fairly, negotiation will not work. Instead of "talking out" the problem, your abuser will seek to wear you out! Therefore, state that when the negative behavior stops, you look forward to a renewed relationship.

"I am not willing to discuss this topic further. … I've stated clearly what I will not accept. … When you're ready to respect my requests, let me know. I look forward to being together at that time."

Keep your words brief and to the point. Proverbs 10:19 (NIV) warns that, "Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues."

#5: Never "react" when your boundary is violated … only respond.

Expect your boundary to be violated again and again! If you react, you will find yourself back under the abuser's control. Respond by detaching yourself from the abuser and enforcing your repercussions.

Expect your abuser to use manipulative maneuvers. Don't cry. Don't beg. Don't explode. Expect your abuser to have emotional ups and downs. Expect your abuser to be angry with the boundary you have set. But don't seek to placate – it won't work.

Take to heart Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 (NIV): "The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools."

#6: Solicit the support of one or two wise, objective people to help you through this process.

Include supporters as you analyze the problem, formulate your plan and enforce the repercussions. Trusted individuals – friends, mentors, counselors – can help you through this critical period.

Discuss the situation with your supporters, including tactics used on you. Proverbs 19:20 (NIV) says, "Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise."

Once Georgia began implementing this plan, reinforcing her boundaries every time, her husband's abuse began to subside. His tactics no longer worked!

Consider your strategy similar to undergoing cancer surgery. You must get rid of the malignancy or else it will spread to other areas of your body. Likewise, this painful procedure provides the only hope for healing in order to have a new, healthy relationship.

Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) promises, "… the tongue of the wise brings healing." In truth, no one wants to have surgery – but it can save your life!

THis one at least portrays that there's hope for change..and you really have to have the patience of job..note that physical abuse isn't mentioned here.Plenty of helpful articles on google.
Good luck dear!

thorpido


post=33439371:
Hotstepper,ebe bu foto?
Yours is a beautiful story.

Hotstepper:

Thanks! Foto don disappear till 6 yrs to come lol
U came.late lol

babyosisi:


Couldn't say it louder
People should look for character first
An upright man with a good character and a drive to succeed is priceless even if he had nothing at the time you meet him
Money can come later
Those who go chasing money forgetting everything else or thinking they will change his character after marriage end up with major regrets

It feels good to know that whatever we acquired we acquired it together as a team

Hotstepper:

Thanks! Foto don disappear till 6 yrs to come lol
U came.late lol

thorpido:
Okay o.That 6yrs will be after you have had all your babies.

Hotstepper:
Lol lol! 1 more by the special Grace of God. I will now hand the baton to the next person

thorpido:
lol,ji si ike.

moca:

It's fear. Some tremble too.
When ur self esteem is not intact, u cower.

True, more than 50% of folks married are not meant to marry.
Marriage is not for everybody.
It's d society.
No freedom.
U can be single and adopt or give birth or do surrogacy or don't even care about children.

See all people pass tru bc of marriage.
Pouring food on a pregnant woman.
Chei!
Some people r heartless even if she is not pregnant.
How anry can he be?
He should have gone out and hit his car na