franciskaine:
bros! you really wish yourself this? People are indeed funny. I don't wish myself such. Women are more than what you see on their faces, they are chameleons.

tell am well well. He think na four years course wey e do for university. Dem no dey graduate from marriage at all. It is d only institution wey u dey get certificate before u start and no graduation

Second hands goods.

I jst want to encourage all the single mother to alwaz package themselves well not to see their self as used made they shld alwaz present themselves well, who tell u that guys will not be running after a cute nd pretty ladies dnt be outdated(my advice though)

Shey women enjoy deluding themselves with gender equality so I will let them answer this one.
But this ish here is gender reality.

ls not TRUE for all (single mothers). Speaking fm my experience. l had three suitors. Had to choose from. Now happily married. Some were begging, it depends on value and God's grace

Fourwinds:
tell am well well. He think na four years course wey e do for university. Dem no dey graduate from marriage at all. It is d only institution wey u dey get certificate before u start and no graduation

Hahaha. You indirectly defined marriage.

itops:








honestly there are no words...... i just tire sef

You look like a single mom in your profile picture?


No offence

Jusome:
supose the young girl...aborted the baby and appear single....how wil u know...the fact she save the baby shows she values life....once you love the woman wht big deal does it make to marry her....mariage is all about Gods blessing there are 1million single dat has had sex and abortion and stil clame single and decent marrying............there is aways two side of a coin at list d fact she has a baby shows she.can give birth than marry a baren woman who has removed her womb during process of abortion

in d first place, y she open her legs if she is not ready for marriage?? Can u see what wayward can lead someone into. D curiosity of dese small boys and girls to sex will lead dem to where dey never expected

egbedore:
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes at one time or the other. And as the adage says "To sin is human,but to forgive is divine"

But I have noticed that it is always difficult for ladies that have issues out of wedlock to get a man that will love and marry them. After all,having a child isn't a disease.

Why is this so?

First of all, not every single mother considers what she did a mistake. secondly, in nigeria the 'taboo' around being a single mother is not in every culture. My grandfather married my grandmother as his first and only wife when she already had a child and he hadn't any. He had no deformity, he wasn't broke and she was not rich. There was no special circumstances. It is not ideal but it is just not as big a deal as it is in some cultures. We don't all share the same culture.

donnypool:


I agree with you, but you mention the word "society" now, who is the society if not we humans and other animals. Who are the men in question if not you and I? If you did not or will not marry a single mom, who are you expecting to marry them?. Leave people with their decision. Sire

Thank you. But just to set the record straight, I have no problem marrying such a woman - depending on the circumstances surrounding her single motherhood. And moreso, if she's a lady of strong character and class and has been able to 'build herself' over time.

Dyt:
Duh!!!
Who says its hard to get suitors?

They keep rolling in in triple folds
U attract what u want biko
I know lots of single mums that men are pleading to marry them
Even singles never get that kain attention
Bikonu speak for yourself alone
Its no freaking challenge
Accept me with my baggage or take a long walk
No time to waste
*whistling*
And wiggle comes to mind

babes, d worst thing u can ever do to urself is "fooling ursef" pls stop it, its unhealthy

osystein:
Second hands goods.

sexyseun:
babes, d worst thing u can ever do to urself is "fooling ursef" pls stop it, its unhealthy

You still don't understand?
Do you?
I give you 5years darling

Confilass:
ls not TRUE for all (single mothers). Speaking fm my experience. l had three suitors. Had to choose from. Now happily married. Some were begging, it depends on value and God's grace

l was once a single mum. Any man that doesn't want to marry u and ur child stays with u. ls not worth it.

Dyt:
Duh!!!
Who says its hard to get suitors?

They keep rolling in in triple folds
U attract what u want biko
I know lots of single mums that men are pleading to marry them
Even singles never get that kain attention
Bikonu speak for yourself alone
Its no freaking challenge
Accept me with my baggage or take a long walk
No time to waste
*whistling*
And wiggle comes to mind

how many of them? wat is d %

lt's not the case with all (single mum). By God's grace l was one l did had 3 suitors with abeg. Had to choose one and NOW HAPPILY MARRIED. My son stays with us. lt also depends on value

Akamaka:

how many of them? wat is d %

At least
This you know
Over 80% don't reason like you
Do you agree?

@op woman get flexible heart, if the previous husband come pleading for forgiveness she might forgive him for the sake of child btw them which will be bad market for new man-in-charge

This is because of our culture; our culture influences marriage to the extreme, in some cases our parents tells us that, all of them in their family all got married to people speaking thesame language, and i see it as prejudiced approach, how much more single mums, your parents wouldnt even buy the idea , all our cultures in Nigeria are similar, it is very difficult for a single man to get married to a young woman with a child outside wedlock or a widow, its also depends on how the individual sees it. Personally in my own perception there is nothing wrong in marrying a single mum or a widow. Thank You.

It depends if she has second hand value then I guess it wont be difficult.The value must be based on her morals, attitude and her fear of God.I have met alot of single mothers who remarried and are settled in there homes...

single mother issue again? seems people won't let this be. There are so many reasons why guys do not marry single mothers.
Single mums come with a lot of baggages. some guys just can't handle them.
I used to think that way, but I realised it ain't their fault.
They never wanted something like that.

Op.

Once upon a time, I would have opened a thread like this because I honestly believed it to be true but look at me now..

I have dated 3 single mothers and they were amongst the best relationships I ever had. The stories behind the babies ranged from r-ape at the age of 15 to juvenile delinquency that resulted in a pregnancy. I am older now and understand the complexities of the world a little better now that is why i advocate legalization of abortion cos some of these girls would have aborted these babies if they could do it legally and safely.

However I will address your post for what it is.

The reason is seems like single mothers don't find suitors are as follows;

1. The single mothers themselves.. If the women let's herself go just because she is a single mother, then she only has herself to blame for not attracting ant suitors. In fact whether she is a mother or not, if she does not packages herself to be attractive, she will not attract anyone. Some women just wallow in self pity or what have you and just let themselves go. They are not attractive, don't seem to be pushing themselves to achieve any goals and tend to blame their situation on the kid.

2. Only a handful of men and mostly boys have this mentality of not marrying single mothers. I use to be one of them, then I grew up.

3. For the handful of guys who hold this line of thought, it is based mostly on the fact that they would have to raise another man's child. Also that child would always be the elephant in the room in that relationship and the child is very likely to complicate the marriage. Issues with regards to discipline, love, respect and more are issues that make most guys who hold this view abstain from marrying a single mother. Another key reason is also acceptance by extended family members like his mother and co. These I believe are the reasons why the few guys who feel this way would rather not marry a single mother and I can't fault them as such.


To the single mothers; You are seen by men as what you present yourself to be. If you see having a child out of wedlock as a problem then that's what that child would be. Men (not boys) mostly don't care about such especially when the mother has a good head on her shoulder and seems to be doing very well for herself and her kid. My advice to you is simply to accept the child as a part of your life which they are and start pursuing a future for them. Raise the child well so their attitude isn't appalling to your dates. Take care of yourself and look as sweet and sexy as possible. Be focused and watch men fall all around you.


Shout out to Dyt. If we were in a different place and time, you would be my other wife and I would nickname you Wiggles...

egbedore:
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes at one time or the other. And as the adage says "To sin is human,but to forgive is divine"

But I have noticed that it is always difficult for ladies that have issues out of wedlock to get a man that will love and marry them. After all,having a child isn't a disease.

Why is this so?

I will not and will never recommend anyone to marry a single mother or a woman that grew up without a father in her house.

Why?

Too much emotional baggage and no real home training. Yeah I know there will be a long line of women and effeminate so call men that will rush in to attempt to show how they're different and that I'm the spawn of the devil. Please spare me your spiel and just post your own opinion.

MadCow1:
Op.


Shout out to Dyt. If we were in a different place and time, you would be my other wife and I would nickname you Wiggles...

osystein:
Second hands goods.

Absolutely.

With all the drop dead gorgeous women that litter Nigeria, why would any confident man marry preowned goods?

The truth be say women are like commodity.

You can't sell fairly use products as new, you either fake it or rebrand the product.

Is Just that the sociality can't accept a fairly used products which some of the part might not work or the company of that rebranded products may sue a new firm for copyright (the child).


So most new company tend to avoid copyright, so them either go for new products or made in China (non Virgin)

zeusdgrt:
Strange!how will U do a job and don't get paid but yet claim it to be the best job?well hungry neva wire U sha

I suppose your parents were not been paid for raising you yet if you ask them they will probably tell you that they enjoyed raising you from childhood to adulthood. You don't need to get paid for every job you do now. I doubt if you're been paid for being in this site right now. Some things are just worth it in the end

I think it's because the men pay the bride price, lets turn tables around and see single mums go for whomsoever they want to marry.

sexyseun:
babes, d worst thing u can ever do to urself is "fooling ursef" pls stop it, its unhealthy

Lol..

Let me stop you here and say; You and Dyt come from two very different neck of the woods.

The girl is very correct in her post. Because I have to be discreet, I would have thrown a few verifiable names of single mothers who are on top of their game. My former neighbour was one. And that girl has a million problems and getting a husband ain't one.

Maybe in your neck of the wood, being a single mother is a big problem, but in mine not necessarily so.

franciskaine:
well said friend. Single mothers are a no go area for me.

My papa no marry single mother


My grandfather no marry single mother

My great grandfather no marry single mother

My fore fore father no marry single mother


My ancestors no marry single mother


Why I go come break the rule marry single mother?


Na course

bimbor:


You also forget that after your wife's first childbirth she qualifies for all your above qualities. Will you divorce her then or you will tell her not to breastfeed because you want her breast to remain standing? Every woman will eventually give birth to children, and the husbands still keep loving them. So what makes the case of the single mother special and abnormal?

d essence of all dese are...... Marriage is sacred. D weight is more on d girls.
1. Avoid all dese corner corner sex if u are still single and unmarried. It will take u nowhere. D consequences are terrible oooo.
2. Learn how to take care of urself and home. Dis is y u nid to spend ur energy assisting ur mom. U will definitely learn some things.
3. As u grow, learn to control ur temper. Dere is no trophy to show case what u are made of. To prove urself?? If gbege happen, u are on ur own.
4. Be mindful of d friends u keep. Dey have d power to influence ur mind.
5. Do according to God's will. U own nobody explanations when it comes to decency. People will talk but ask urself, are u in d rite track.
6. People will see u weired if u are doin d rite thing. Don't be shaken. I can testify to dis because i experience dis alot but dese same people have no natural proof or backing to prove me wrong. Im open to criticism.

softysparky:
I think it's because the men pay the bride price, lets turn tables around and see single mums go for whomsoever they want to marry.

no not true. If u go to page 4 of dis tread u will see where i listed 4 cogent reasons y marrying a single mother might be dicey.