Woman you people dey mourn too much. You don crucify the guy as if definately he will do it again take arm easy now.

As you have said, follow your heart, give him all the chances. It was a mistake that will never happen he said. Believe him and move on. Whatever you decide on is up to you, you know what you can tolerate so keep smiling.

If it is true he wants to leave there is nothing you can do about that he is an adult and he knows what he wants, he might love but marriage is more than love. You need to look at the fact that he wants to leave more that is unfaithfulness. He might one to leave and choose to be unfaithful but got a bit unlucky by coming home with Clamydia while clubbing.

when it comes to men, women and marriage no one can really understand. Men love adventures. If i dey your shoe ( i dey wear mine and i know where it hurts me most), I will ask him why he wants to leave? why he think he does not deserve you probing questions. He might be going through more than what he is saying out.

I wish you all the best and wisdom.

@Poster, irrespective of what people on this forum express, no one here knows your husband better than you do. People may base their judgement on irrelevant experiences. It's very easy to destroy a good relationship, but difficult to build one. Those asking that you forgive him, should not be viewed as advocating unequal treatment because you are a woman. Afterall women also cheat their spouses. Yeah, most guys find it more difficult to forgive a cheating spouse especially if the guy has been faithful. But many still forgive, if they truly love their wife (depending on the circumstances).

Your husband's case was out of plain stupidity , getting drunk. You are lucky you've found someone whom you truly love and who feels the same about you. I don't believe one 'screw up' is enough justification to dump a good relationship. I'm sure he's ashamed of his actions. If he truly loves you, he'll mend his ways. I'm sorry you have had to pay in more than one way for his miss-deed (getting infected et al).

Give him a second chance and hopefully time will heal your hurt and pain. Good luck with your marriage.

No wonder most men goes to hell

gabrywyl:

No wonder most men goes to hell 

How do you know?  Have you been to hell before?

@poster

Its all psycology.
The fact that he says he wants to leave is a tactic that immediately puts you on the defensive. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine was caught cheating by his wife and he used the exact same tactic. He came home apologizing, saying , since he had been caught, she deserved better, he would have to leave, she in turn started to beg him no to go, that she was willing to work at the marriage. This now is a standing joke which we constantly reminisce over when we hang out. This guy has you where he wants you. If you love someone, you do not hurt them, period. Thats my belief and no phantom or silly reason anybody comes up with can change that. I am human and I have urges and desires which I candidly would tell my wife, so we do take joint action to rectify the situation rather than hide and jump at every opportunity a girl throws at me. I love my wife too much to want to make her sad or hurt, its enough of the excuses, real men dont do stupid.

Its appears to me that your man has you wrapped around his finger, he knows you can't leave him, and dont be fooled thinking this is the only time he has been unfaithful, just accept that this is the one that got blown over cause of the STD he infected you. At the end of the day, no one on any forum can really advise you. The situation is your cross to bare, you know him, is he in your life for you or is he in your life for himself? If for you, then maybe it really is an aberration otherwise do the right thing.

gamechange:

@poster

Its all psycology.
The fact that he says he wants to leave is a tactic that immediately puts you on the defensive. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine was caught cheating by his wife and he used the exact same tactic. He came home apologizing, saying , since he had been caught, she deserved better, he would have to leave, she in turn started to beg him no to go, that she was willing to work at the marriage. This now is a standing joke which we constantly reminisce over when we hang out. This guy has you where he wants you. If you love someone, you do not hurt them, period. Thats my belief and no phantom or silly reason anybody comes up with can change that. I am human and I have urges and desires which I candidly would tell my wife, so we do take joint action to rectify the situation rather than hide and jump at every opportunity a girl throws at me. I love my wife too much to want to make her sad or hurt, its enough of the excuses, real men dont do stupid.

Its appears to me that your man has you wrapped around his finger, he knows you can't leave him, and dont be fooled thinking this is the only time he has been unfaithful, just accept that this is the one that got blown over cause of the STD he infected you. At the end of the day, no one on any forum can really advise you. The situation is your cross to bare, you know him, is he in your life for you or is he in your life for himself? If for you, then maybe it really is an aberration otherwise do the right thing.

Bravo!!!

springss:

How do you know? Have you been to hell before?

I saw South park the other day.

gabrywyl:


I saw South park the other day.

ROFLMAO!!!!

*can't breathe*

Honorable.  KUDOS

gamechange:

@poster

Its all psycology.
The fact that he says he wants to leave is a tactic that immediately puts you on the defensive. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine was caught cheating by his wife and he used the exact same tactic. He came home apologizing, saying , since he had been caught, she deserved better, he would have to leave, she in turn started to beg him no to go, that she was willing to work at the marriage. This now is a standing joke which we constantly reminisce over when we hang out. This guy has you where he wants you. If you love someone, you do not hurt them, period. Thats my belief and no phantom or silly reason anybody comes up with can change that. I am human and I have urges and desires which I candidly would tell my wife, so we do take joint action to rectify the situation rather than hide and jump at every opportunity a girl throws at me. I love my wife too much to want to make her sad or hurt, its enough of the excuses, real men dont do stupid.

Its appears to me that your man has you wrapped around his finger, he knows you can't leave him, and dont be fooled thinking this is the only time he has been unfaithful, just accept that this is the one that got blown over cause of the STD he infected you. At the end of the day, no one on any forum can really advise you. The situation is your cross to bare, you know him, is he in your life for you or is he in your life for himself? If for you, then maybe it really is an aberration otherwise do the right thing.

@ poster,

ur nationality's trippin innit? british/american, u no well, kilo nwa kiri?, who u dey dull?

@ topic

yea, evri1 deserves a second chance, at-times more,

gabrywyl:

No wonder most men goes to hell

+ your father, ooloshi

a second chance means that you are setting yourself up to be heartbroken again. marriage is a serious business that sometimes love does not factor in decision making of this magnitude.
I sense some self esteem  issues here. This guy has not fully pledged  to be faithfully, instead you are hoping that he doesnt cheat on you. The ball is our court. You do not need a man in your life to feel loved, but want a man. Ok. good luck

Let me gt dis straight u married a 9ja man, who cheatz on u,confesses 2 u,and says e doesnt deserve u so he would like 2 leave u.Re u sure u re ok physically mentally and d rest.If so.Ur 9ja man is tryin 2 , Catch ma drift

dremoney:

+ your father, ooloshi

ehmm Ehmm Ehmm. . .

arramyjay:

Dont give him another chance,lnfact never marry a nigerian.

shut up,im sure jaybee has broken ur heart or prolly dumped u,dats why u think u can come on here and advise smone against marrying a nigerian

idiot

LOCATION: 5 minutes from Yaba Left . . . . .

gabrywyl:

No wonder most men goes to hell

haba hw dare u say such a thing eeh

hurtin:

Yes, He's Remorseful.
He Broke into tears when He told me he didn't deserve me (and thought he should leave me) because he'd been unfaithful.
He's told me it will never happen again. And That he won't ever get that drunk again unless I'm with him.

ahhahaahhahahahahha no wonder naija men use u pple"s head,u lot believe anything u see,not confirming if it  is true or not,or if it is real or fake

fender:

haba hw dare u say such a thing eeh

no blame me ooo, Blame South park  

gamechange:

@poster

Its all psycology.
The fact that he says he wants to leave is a tactic that immediately puts you on the defensive. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine was caught cheating by his wife and he used the exact same tactic. He came home apologizing, saying , since he had been caught, she deserved better, he would have to leave, she in turn started to beg him no to go, that she was willing to work at the marriage. This now is a standing joke which we constantly reminisce over when we hang out. This guy has you where he wants you. If you love someone, you do not hurt them, period. Thats my belief and no phantom or silly reason anybody comes up with can change that. I am human and I have urges and desires which I candidly would tell my wife, so we do take joint action to rectify the situation rather than hide and jump at every opportunity a girl throws at me.I love my wife too much to want to make her sad or hurt, its enough of the excuses, real men dont do stupid.

Its appears to me that your man has you wrapped around his finger, he knows you can't leave him, and dont be fooled thinking this is the only time he has been unfaithful, just accept that this is the one that got blown over cause of the STD he infected you. At the end of the day, no one on any forum can really advise you. The situation is your cross to bare, you know him, is he in your life for you or is he in your life for himself? If for you, then maybe it really is an aberration otherwise do the right thing.

Awww. . . . . this is so sweet.

I have read some of our comments with interest and it amazes me how sad a lot of us are, i mean whats the big deal about the guy cheating on the wife,apologises and stuff. Marriage is something that can either get beautiful or sour but its our prayer that ours should always be beautiful, but because of this westernization bulls**t disvorce is what readily come to some of our twisted minds. I mean for Christ sake we are human and are prune to making mistakes and error and thats the reason the word FORGIVENESS is in the dictionary. We should not always be quick to give advice that will bring about sadness, we were not there when they said i do, so let them continue to do what they said they will do. A lot of us have not really experienced fantastic relationship thats why we are always quick to destroy what other people have, for them to be sad just like us.
A real man that loves his wife would not cheat on her but since our John Doe does cheat on her shame on him and his love, but the quarrel, the fights,the making up and the good,good S** is what make any relationship worthwhile. So please HURTIN take your man back and put in  your best in making this marriage work,ok. God luck in this endeavour.

For all you NIGERIAN HATERS take the next available chartered private jet to hell and wait there till hell starts snowing.

If you are not a Nigerian then why are you in here? Mumu!

oops

maddock:

I have read some of our comments with interest and it amazes me how sad a lot of us are, i mean whats the big deal about the guy cheating on the wife,apologises and stuff. Marriage is something that can either get beautiful or sour but its our prayer that ours should always be beautiful, but because of this westernization bulls**t disvorce is what readily come to some of our twisted minds. I mean for Christ sake we are human and are prune to making mistakes and error and thats the reason the word FORGIVENESS is in the dictionary. We should not always be quick to give advice that will bring about sadness, we were not there when they said i do, so let them continue to do what they said they will do. A lot of us have not really experienced fantastic relationship thats why we are always quick to destroy what other people have, for them to be sad just like us.
A real man that loves his wife would not cheat on her but since our John Doe does cheat on her shame on him and his love, but the quarrel, the fights,the making up and the good,good S** is what make any relationship worthwhile. So please HURTIN take your man back and put in  your best in making this marriage work,ok. God luck in this endeavour.

For all you NIGERIAN HATERS take the next available chartered private jet to hell and wait there till hell starts snowing.

Tanx for the advice really learnt something from it all, good reply.

@ Maddock,

I like your idea of relationship cum marriage.

Its all about working it out by granting forgiveness where it is needed and forging ahead with life.

These are daily experiences of life and I cant understand why pple wont learn,
Divorce is never a solution rather it causes more harm to the society expecially where children are involved.

maddock:

I have read some of our comments with interest and it amazes me how sad a lot of us are, i mean whats the big deal about the guy cheating on the wife,apologises and stuff. Marriage is something that can either get beautiful or sour but its our prayer that ours should always be beautiful, but because of this westernization bulls**t disvorce is what readily come to some of our twisted minds. I mean for Christ sake we are human and are prune to making mistakes and error and thats the reason the word FORGIVENESS is in the dictionary. We should not always be quick to give advice that will bring about sadness, we were not there when they said i do, so let them continue to do what they said they will do. [size=18pt]A lot of us have not really experienced fantastic relationship thats why we are always quick to destroy what other people have, for them to be sad just like us.[/size]
A real man that loves his wife would not cheat on her but since our John Doe does cheat on her shame on him and his love, but the quarrel, the fights,the making up and the good,good S** is what make any relationship worthwhile. So please HURTIN take your man back and put in  your best in making this marriage work,ok. God luck in this endeavour.

For all you NIGERIAN HATERS take the next available chartered private jet to hell and wait there till hell starts snowing.

the idea of a beautiful, peaceful, forgiving and loving relationships is allien to most nigerians and NLders. everything is fight and fire for fire as if that is all life is about.

[size=18pt]marriage is hard work[/size] like i have always said. stop believing mills and booms and those rubbish films.

forgiveness is the bridge we must all walk one time or the other.

JJYOU:


[size=18pt]marriage is hard work[/size] like i have always said.

forgiveness is the bridge we must all walk one time or the other.

I think you're right

@poster
Take your case to CHEATERS for more video evidence before crucifying him just joking!!! If i may ask why the hell have you not have kids for him for 6yrs now, maybe that is one secret you did not want to share with us? Maybe you lie to him and now he has found out that you cannot have a baby for him, I beleive there is always a reason before a Man start cheating on their spouse.

so please clear this doubt of mine before i proceed with my advice!!!

a man dosen't say i don't deserve you cus i cheated and so i'm leaving you, after 4yrs. he tries to make up if he really love you.  is he trying to be the victim. and how come you let him live a life of a single when his married. a man that does not know how to be responsible after drinking, why not try breast feeding him.

too_soon:

@poster
Take your case to CHEATERS for more video evidence before crucifying him just joking!!! If i may ask why the hell have you not have kids for him for 6yrs now, maybe that is one secret you did not want to share with us? Maybe you lie to him and now he has found out that you cannot have a baby for him, I beleive there is always a reason before a Man start cheating on their spouse.

so please clear this doubt of mine before i proceed with my advice!!!

We've Not Had Children yet, as we've not had the money to raise a child. we seem to spend a lot of our hard earn money on family in Nigeria.
And have only just started to try for a family now.

Trust women, they always fight over everything.
Now they are fight themselves over who has the right to cheat or not to cheat.

Na wa o.

@ poster, who cares if your husband cheats on you?
Thats you own cup of tea.
Its up to you to take a decision whether to divorce the guy, forgive him or even revenge by cheating on him too.

hurtin:


We've Not Had Children yet, as we've not had the money to raise a child. we seem to spend a lot of our hard earn money on family in Nigeria.
And have only just started to try for a family now.

we seem to spend a lot of our hard earn money on family in Nigeria.

Girl, u've got ur life to live, u know. Wake up