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Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives - Family (12) - Nairaland

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Why Men Scared Of Getting Married / Why Men Should Only Do Traditional Marriage / Why Women Treat Side Guys Better Than Husbands (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 9:26am On Jul 09, 2015
babygirlfl:


I did not want to reply but please stop this talk of knowing your parents for 26years before you knew her. Does she not have parents that she knew for whatever number of years before she knew you? You have no respect or regard for your wife. I hope she realises how much you don't value her and do something about her life. If I were her, I will do my own investments with my own parents. What selfishness.
What this one saying? So you want me to start taking order from her before i do anything so as to show respect for? What nonsense is this one saying? Did your father take order from your mother before doing anything or did your father prostrate for your mother every morning to show respect? Mind you I set my wife up with her own business and i never even ask how she run the business, I still make she never touch her business when something is needed.. I also make sure i perform my role as a son inlaw to her parent every Xmas and New year i bought them everything they needed including Ram for new year and mind you she and parents went behind my back to buy land and started building house without even letting me know and you want me to share my personal life with her.. And it's your likes that always fight with their sister inlaws every time saying the woman no want make your brother help her family.... Well i won't be surprise, If a mad man was given a hoe he will never cultivate to other side instead he will cultivate to his side...

3 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by 5minsmadness: 9:28am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


All my thoughts are in my posts. Pls read objectively.

His concept of marriage that his wife is inferior to the mother just because he has known his mother longer is what attracted me to his post and what I addressed.

I dont think I understand what you are driving at or where you are coming from.

@bolded is actually true, although it would be understandable that the wife would take offence at this since women want to be viewed as Number 1 in the man's life.

You can't just marry a man and then expect him to choose you over his mother. It wont happen(unless he had a bad mother).
I am not saying he should disregard his wife entirely but she shouldn't bring about stumbling blocks by making him see his mother as inferior to her either. Simple.

Also she insulted him in front of his mother. His rants (and yes I agree they are rants) are in reaction to his wife's behaviour which I hope you will agree with me is bad.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by babygirlfl: 9:30am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
What this one saying? So you want me to start taking order from her before i do anything so as to show respect for? What nonsense is this one saying? Did your father take order from your mother before doing anything or did your father prostrate for your mother every morning to show respect? Mind you I set my wife up with her own business and i never even ask how she run the business, I still make she never touch her business when something is needed.. I also make sure i perform my role as a son inlaw to her parent every Xmas and New year i bought them everything they needed including Ram for new year and mind you she and parents went behind my back to buy land and started building house without even letting me know and you want me to share my personal life with her.. And it's your likes that always fight with their sister inlaws every time saying the woman no want make your brother help her family.... Well i won't be surprise, If a mad man was given a hoe he will never cultivate to other side instead he will cultivate to his side...

Again learn how to talk to people without insults. I will stop this discussion here with you since you don't respect your parents enough to know that you don't bring peoples parents into discussions in that manner.

1 Like

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by 5minsmadness: 9:32am On Jul 09, 2015
winner01:
Lie from the devil, men are not polygamous...There is a prevalent madness rampant among many and society isnt helping either, that doesnt justify the fact that all man are polygamous....This is a lie to justify irresponsibility...I know responsible and ive learnt that virtue....its sad that sleeping with as many women as possible gains respect by society....it will only get worse but definately der r good people out der.

Men are polygamous by nature.
https://www.nairaland.com/2434831/men-naturally-polygamous#35603631

Cc Queenedo
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by babygirlfl: 9:42am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


He is just a typical African man...their concept of marriage no be here...

It is well jare kiss


It is well my sister.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 9:42am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


Where do I even start from?

You have got the whole concept of marriage wrong, your wife is your better half, your most trusted partner in this life journey and not your mum. The day you got married to her is the day you got a new mother so she is not in any way inferior to your mother and should not be treated as such. I am not saying your mother is useless or you shouldn't confide in her but not at the expense of your wife.

God bless your family.
Don't give that concept of marriage crap, You ladies come up with this same story she is your other half and the most trusted partner but you will never confide or tell him about your day to day life, 95% of married woman will share anything private in her life with mother before she even think of her father not to talk of her hubby... Mind you i never get a new mother in marrying her but a partner I have seen alot happening in relationship even way before i got married, I have seen a case where the wife will kill her hubby so as to inherit his property... I have seen alot within me mostly my friends not that close and how that got hook up with that mess called marriage....I have a friend who work hard and make money, We advice him to buy land and start building house but the wife say no she want them to stay in Lekki and uptil now the guy never buy half plot and could not afford even the rent anymore if the guy has seek his parent advice instead of the wife things would have been better for him now and mind you at the end the woman left him when things went bad for him..

I have seen lady got married to a guy without any kid yet the guy bought her a Rav4 2013 model, bought a storey building and convert it to super market for her at the end her family advice her to victimise her hubby and make sure she know her hubby worth please tell me why did they want to know or what are their plan? mind you my guy is very close to his parent and share the story with them and today they are not together anymore.. Now tell me with all this story up there if those guys happen to be your brother what will be your advice for them in first place...

3 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by Kimoni: 9:50am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
Don't give that concept of marriage crap, You ladies come up with this same story she is your other half and the most trusted partner but you will never confide or tell him about your day to day life, 95% of married woman will share anything private in her life with mother before she even think of her father not to talk of her hubby... Mind you i never get a new mother in marrying her but a partner I have seen alot happening in relationship even way before i got married, I have seen a case where the wife will kill her hubby so as to inherit his property... I have seen alot within me mostly my friends not that close and how that got hook up with that mess called marriage....I have a friend who work hard and make money, We advice him to buy land and start building house but the wife say no she want them to stay in Lekki and uptil now the guy never buy half plot and could not afford even the rent anymore if the guy has seek his parent advice instead of the wife things would have been better for him now and mind you at the end the woman left him when things went bad for him..

I have seen lady got married to a guy without any kid yet the guy bought her a Rav4 2013 model, bought a storey building and convert it to super market for her at the end her family advice her to victimise her hubby and make sure she know her hubby worth please tell me why did they want to know or what are their plan? mind you my guy is very close to his parent and share the story with them and today they are not together anymore.. Now tell me with all this story up there if those guys happen to be your brother what will be your advice for them in first place...

If you have seen all these evil about women and believe marriage is very bad, why did you get married?

1 Like

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 9:57am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


If you have known your mum for 26 years and your wife for only a short while, why didn't you choose your mother to bear your children but chose your wife instead? That doesn't make sense right? Exactly! And it's the same reason why that your argument is invalid. It's not about how long you have known your wife and mother, it's about whose responsibility it is your build a home with you, that's your wife and not your mother. You may not realize this but you are the one that is actually sowing the seed of discord between your wife and mother by making them rivals.

God bless your family.
You got it all wrong again, 90% of ladies of recent time will never want her inlaw around most especially mother inlaw. if the wife see the closeness of the mother and son especially if they discuss something privately she will always want to know what they talk about. Now please tell why is it private? If they want her to know what they discuss they would have invited her to the meeting in the first place. Again I choose her to be my partner and am only helping her you know why? alot of better girls than her are roaming the streets with no hope of getting man to even call them, Go to Redeem, Winner's, Christ Embassy etc you will see them there getting old and still praying for a hubby reason for you woman to be serious and calm.. Stop mingle in affair that they did not call you.. You will never see man man i mean complete man to be asking what his wife and mother discuss behind him.. A man who will be thinking of how to make money will never even have time asking except she say it herself someone like me? I am a kind of man that never mingle in affair you did not invite me to, Sometimes i see my wife acting somehow and when i ask her what happen or what's going and she said nothing i will never ask her again.. i believe if there is anything she will tell me and if she say nothing happen then to me nothing happen even if she like make dey cry blood as far as she no want tell me so be it and my wife know me for that...

Now tell me how taking care of my mother, Seeking advice from my mother because she is more expose to life than me and my wife, or discuss with my mother privately make me cause discord between them or make them rival? Like i said we need to drop this yeye western mentality and all will be well because all this is happening because you want to have equal right as your hubby you wanna know how he make and spend his money... Mind you my dad always said don't let any woman know your worth cos the day she know that day is the beginning of your downfall because from that day her down will pass your supply.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 10:10am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


A mother's blessing is good but trust me, it doesn't take the place of your wife's blessing. I have seen men who had problems in their businesses and careers and the solution has been for them to go back to their wives for prayers and blessings. Don't underestimate your wife pls, work in harmony with her to maximize the God-given potentials God has deposited in her to bless her family with.

It's great that you are providing for your family, but it doesn't take the place of the love, respect and peace you should also give to them.

God bless your family.
Now this... seems you know me and the problem i faced before separating with my wife... Well let me tell you this, In any case where your business, careers etc is crumbling and you were asked to go and beg your wife then your wife has 98% hand in your problem, She want to ruin you completely cause woman never think with there brain, I satisfy my wife with everything that even our neighbors in my area (Women) always jealous about her and i get to know after we separated and mind you none of this people has even come to ask me about it since Feb 2014.. My wife and her mother take me through hell between 2012 and 2014 and she never hide it ooo she give me condition if i want things to get back to normal and you know what i always tell her? I always tell her let keep it going this way, No matter what if i go out and make #1.000 before i remember you at home i go don spend #800 for my self so madam keep it coming am equal to the task.. I also tell her someone who spread his/her hand to block you from passing can unlock where the hand reaches.. Mind you between this 2 years i did not see my mother, She always call me to come see her and i never go i keep praying for things to be alright mind you the day i see solution to my problem she move out the next day without me even knowing cos i wasn't around now tell me what do you have to say about this.... and mind you i went to my mother and she pray for me over naked.. She pray to God to deliver me from whoever is behind my problems cos they never know when she conceive me nor when she give birth to me and about 2 month after all lost came back in folds.. Now the woman that left house without my consent is begging to come back.. Now if i am your brother that cannot perform my brotherly role for you over 2yrs caused of her what advice will you give me?
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 10:12am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


You need to work on yourself brother to make a better husband and father. At the end of it all, it is your family. They all bear your surname right? She is your wife and they are your children. So if your family gets disintegrated, the biggest loser is you!

You and your wife are not rivals, your family and her family are not rivals nor competing for anything. Your family is not more important than her and vice versa. Everybody (your family, her family, your, her, your children ) has one goal - for you guys to be successful and happy as one family. It seems you are the only person who doesn't have that goal. You need to change your aggressive way of thinking. You won't bring out the best in your wife if this is the same way you approach matters at home. Treat every family member like you love them equally.
Her family and mine never have same goal if not parent will connive with to buy land and started building house without my consent so they have mission and it failed.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 10:15am On Jul 09, 2015
babygirlfl:


Learn how to talk to people. Just to let you know, I work for my money and do what I can for my parents. I don't wait for my brother to send money to me or leave my brother alone to take care of my parents. It does not stop my husband from taking care of his inlaws ( my parents) just like it does not stop me from taking care of his parents.
You want to teach me how to talk to people? I only comment about her challenging me of taking care of my sick mother and not hers.. well all that was in the past sha.

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by 5minsmadness: 10:16am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
You got it all wrong again, 90% of ladies of recent time will never want her inlaw around most especially mother inlaw. if the wife see the closeness of the mother and son especially if they discuss something privately she will always want to know what they talk about. Now please tell why is it private? If they want her to know what they discuss they would have invited her to the meeting in the first place. Again I choose her to be my partner and am only helping her you know why? alot of better girls than her are roaming the streets with no hope of getting man to even call them, Go to Redeem, Winner's, Christ Embassy etc you will see them there getting old and still praying for a hubby reason for you woman to be serious and calm.. Stop mingle in affair that they did not call you.. You will never see man man i mean complete man to be asking what his wife and mother discuss behind him.. A man who will be thinking of how to make money will never even have time asking except she say it herself someone like me? I am a kind of man that never mingle in affair you did not invite me to, Sometimes i see my wife acting somehow and when i ask her what happen or what's going and she said nothing i will never ask her again.. i believe if there is anything she will tell me and if she say nothing happen then to me nothing happen even if she like make dey cry blood as far as she no want tell me so be it and my wife know me for that...

Now tell me how taking care of my mother, Seeking advice from my mother because she is more expose to life than me and my wife, or discuss with my mother privately make me cause discord between them or make them rival? Like i said we need to drop this yeye western mentality and all will be well because all this is happening because you want to have equal right as your hubby you wanna know how he make and spend his money... Mind you my dad always said don't let any woman know your worth cos the day she know that day is the beginning of your downfall because from that day her down will pass your supply.


Bro sounds really pissed! grin

Ejo bros, ema bi nu. How old is your marriage? Maybe you need to communicate all these things to your wife, tell her what you like and what you don't like and why. This one you are saying you did her a favour by marrying her shows deep resentment. Once again,how old is the marriage and how old is she? I guess you are a young couple since you r 26yrs . Any kids yet?

You both need to he patient with each other and take out time to iron out your differences. Let her see that your well being is her well being so if she is taking money from you always to feed/cater to her family how will both of you progress as a couple?

You can try this exercise, call her one day and tell her to write down on a sheet of paper all the greviances she has against you while you do for her. After that write all the good you see in her and let her do the same for you. Then take out time to relax and go through the list objectively and together without quarrel.

Marriage can be tough but as soon as you iron out your differences it can also be a smooth ride.

Cheers.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 10:17am On Jul 09, 2015
babygirlfl:


Again learn how to talk to people without insults. I will stop this discussion here with you since you don't respect your parents enough to know that you don't bring peoples parents into discussions in that manner.
Please show me the insults in my post and i will apologize, Oh.. you mean What this one saying to be insult?
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by Kimoni: 10:18am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
You got it all wrong again, 90% of ladies of recent time will never want her inlaw around most especially mother inlaw. if the wife see the closeness of the mother and son especially if they discuss something privately she will always want to know what they talk about. Now please tell why is it private? If they want her to know what they discuss they would have invited her to the meeting in the first place. Again I choose her to be my partner and am only helping her you know why? alot of better girls than her are roaming the streets with no hope of getting man to even call them, Go to Redeem, Winner's, Christ Embassy etc you will see them there getting old and still praying for a hubby reason for you woman to be serious and calm.. Stop mingle in affair that they did not call you.. You will never see man man i mean complete man to be asking what his wife and mother discuss behind him.. A man who will be thinking of how to make money will never even have time asking except she say it herself someone like me? I am a kind of man that never mingle in affair you did not invite me to, Sometimes i see my wife acting somehow and when i ask her what happen or what's going and she said nothing i will never ask her again.. i believe if there is anything she will tell me and if she say nothing happen then to me nothing happen even if she like make dey cry blood as far as she no want tell me so be it and my wife know me for that...

Now tell me how taking care of my mother, Seeking advice from my mother because she is more expose to life than me and my wife, or discuss with my mother privately make me cause discord between them or make them rival? Like i said we need to drop this yeye western mentality and all will be well because all this is happening because you want to have equal right as your hubby you wanna know how he make and spend his money... Mind you my dad always said don't let any woman know your worth cos the day she know that day is the beginning of your downfall because from that day her down will pass your supply.

I ask you again, if women were this bad, coupled with all your friends who had bad wives, and your father telling you more havoc women can cause, why did you get married?

You need a re-orientation of what marriage what really is. Look further around you and see the immense value women can bring into the marriage institution. It is not all bad news my dear. You need a total change of mindset, until that is done, it's a waste of time addressing issues with you.

Have a nice day bashydemi and good luck in your marriage.

1 Like

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 10:23am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


If you have seen all these evil about women and believe marriage is very bad, why did you get married?
You will never know until you get into the boat of marriage, Mind you women can pretend, Woman can pretend to love you for the next 20yrs and she will be the that will kill you at the end, Take the story of Alhaji Razak Aremu Gawat for example...
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 10:28am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


I ask you again, if women were this bad, coupled with all your friends who had bad wives, and your father telling you more havoc women can cause, why did you get married?

You need a re-orientation of what marriage what really is. Look further around you and see the immense value women can bring into the marriage institution. It is not all bad news my dear. You need a total change of mindset, until that is done, it's a waste of time addressing issues with you.

Have a nice day bashydemi and good luck in your marriage.
Well i got married before my friends so i have the experience before them... Secondly my father is coming after gotten married started having problems.. Well Thank God i have 3 kids already so i have put marriage behind and focus on a great future my kids that's i care for now....
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by Kimoni: 10:28am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
Her family and mine never have same goal if not parent will connive with to buy land and started building house without my consent so they have mission and it failed.

Lol...I don't know your wife nor the genesis of her issues with you. But one thing I know is, no woman will be happy with the kind of mentality you have and brought into the marriage. It will only make her more defensive and she will be afraid to open up to you 'cause she feels threatened and insecure in her own home.

Well...good luck again bashydemi, but remember, you will most likely reap what you have sown in your marriage.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 10:33am On Jul 09, 2015
5minsmadness:



Bro sounds really pissed! grin

Ejo bros, ema bi nu. How old is your marriage? Maybe you need to communicate all these things to your wife, tell her what you like and what you don't like and why. This one you are saying you did her a favour by marrying her shows deep resentment. Once again,how old is the marriage and how old is she? I guess you are a young couple since you r 26yrs . Any kids yet?

You both need to he patient with each other and take out time to iron out your differences. Let her see that your well being is her well being so if she is taking money from you always to feed/cater to her family how will both of you progress as a couple?

You can try this exercise, call her one day and tell her to write down on a sheet of paper all the greviances she has against you while you do for her. After that write all the good you see in her and let her do the same for you. Then take out time to relax and go through the list objectively and together without quarrel.

Marriage can be tough but as soon as you iron out your differences it can also be a smooth ride.

Cheers.
Well no need for that anymore sha, beside about me saying i did her favor, I said that because i am boiling when i see some relationship how the woman treat the man, I have seen so many people taking good care of their wife ans still she go about fornicating and when she hear about her hubby having affair she will be spitting fire, have seen lots of married woman taking to bars restaurant by another man.. so when ever i see this I get so upset will want the world to just come to an end.. haahaha.. Well to be honest my wife (Ex) never done that, I have never for once caught her or hear anything like that about her so i still have that respect for her...

About the favor it's not easy take a woman out of her parents house, Build house for her to be staying, Set her up with nice buinsess and at the end she end up back in her parents house... we call that back to square one.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by babygirlfl: 10:38am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
You want to teach me how to talk to people? I only comment about her challenging me of taking care of my sick mother and not hers.. well all that was in the past sha.


After reading your posts, All I can say is good luck to you. I don't know you or your wife but with what you have written this morning, I totally understand why your wife acted the way she did. I am not in anyway saying that she is an angel but from what I can deduce from your posts, you left her with no choice.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by Kimoni: 10:39am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
Now this... seems you know me and the problem i faced before separating with my wife... Well let me tell you this, In any case where your business, careers etc is crumbling and you were asked to go and beg your wife then your wife has 98% hand in your problem, She want to ruin you completely cause woman never think with there brain, I satisfy my wife with everything that even our neighbors in my area (Women) always jealous about her and i get to know after we separated and mind you none of this people has even come to ask me about it since Feb 2014.. My wife and her mother take me through hell between 2012 and 2014 and she never hide it ooo she give me condition if i want things to get back to normal and you know what i always tell her? I always tell her let keep it going this way, No matter what if i go out and make #1.000 before i remember you at home i go don spend #800 for my self so madam keep it coming am equal to the task.. I also tell her someone who spread his/her hand to block you from passing can unlock where the hand reaches.. Mind you between this 2 years i did not see my mother, She always call me to come see her and i never go i keep praying for things to be alright mind you the day i see solution to my problem she move out the next day without me even knowing cos i wasn't around now tell me what do you have to say about this.... and mind you i went to my mother and she pray for me over naked.. She pray to God to deliver me from whoever is behind my problems cos they never know when she conceive me nor when she give birth to me and about 2 month after all lost came back in folds.. Now the woman that left house without my consent is begging to come back.. Now if i am your brother that cannot perform my brotherly role for you over 2yrs caused of her what advice will you give me?

Waoh!!!

I didn't realize your story is this deep oooo

Whatever it is, I can only pray for God to restore all you have lost and the joy in your marriage. But remember, a woman can be the best thing that happens to a man. I have seen that several times. It's not all bad news. You definitely need a change of mindset.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 11:13am On Jul 09, 2015
babygirlfl:



After reading your posts, All I can say is good luck to you. I don't know you or your wife but with what you have written this morning, I totally understand why your wife acted the way she did. I am not in anyway saying that she is an angel but from what I can deduce from your posts, you left her with no choice.
Thank you, You are a woman and that what you will say even if i say i caught her cheating.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 11:14am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


Waoh!!!

I didn't realize your story is this deep oooo

Whatever it is, I can only pray for God to restore all you have lost and the joy in your marriage. But remember, a woman can be the best thing that happens to a man. I have seen that several times. It's not all bad news. You definitely need a change of mindset.
Thanks God have vindicate me and return all my lost an still doing more... About the marriage i never for one minute pray over it.. all i care for are my kids.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by crackhaus: 11:24am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
Thank you, You are a woman and that what you will say even if i say i caught her cheating.
cheesycheesy
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by crackhaus: 11:27am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


Waoh!!!

I didn't realize your story is this deep oooo

Whatever it is, I can only pray for God to restore all you have lost and the joy in your marriage. But remember, a woman can be the best thing that happens to a man. I have seen that several times. It's not all bad news. You definitely need a change of mindset.
I'd like to hear more men say this themselves... I'm sure you understand why.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by 5minsmadness: 11:39am On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
Thank you, You are a woman and that what you will say even if i say i caught her cheating.
grin
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 11:43am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


Lol...I don't know your wife nor the genesis of her issues with you. But one thing I know is, no woman will be happy with the kind of mentality you have and brought into the marriage. It will only make her more defensive and she will be afraid to open up to you 'cause she feels threatened and insecure in her own home.

Well...good luck again bashydemi, but remember, you will most likely reap what you have sown in your marriage.
Well i have been a very good husband and anyone any woman would pray for, In the past i never do anything behind her back, Sometimes whenever i want to give my brother's money senior of junior she will be the one to give them so as to make them like her more and none of my family ever mingle into our affair, My parent my might not even visit us sometimes close to 2 yrs, She stays in the house i build with her 2 junior brother and 1 junior sister, I provide for them none of my family stays with us i swear with the day i was born. But i change my way when she and her family went behind my back to buy land and started building house without even discussing this with me... After i get to know her father now called me that i should not be annoy that he try to tell me but it's because am too busy and i ask what happen to briefing me on phone will i ever ask her not buy afterall i am the one that gave her the to compensate her for not been around for her Birthday.. After this i change and stop discussing about my business, life or anything with her since she dint discuss with me either... So that was the genesis of the problem.. The main issue is She is a christian and i am a Muslim and her mother stood her ground that we can never get married but she is pregnant then and i hate abortion.. Still i try everything but her mother is the main enemy of the family and i should just let her go. I no wan die young oo.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bukatyne(f): 11:54am On Jul 09, 2015
Kimoni:


I ask you again, if women were this bad, coupled with all your friends who had bad wives, and your father telling you more havoc women can cause, why did you get married?

You need a re-orientation of what marriage what really is. Look further around you and see the immense value women can bring into the marriage institution. It is not all bad news my dear. You need a total change of mindset, until that is done, it's a waste of time addressing issues with you.

Have a nice day bashydemi and good luck in your marriage.

@bolded: Lol!

@bashydemy: if you think your mom is more important, you can marry her.

1 Like

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by cococandy(f): 5:45pm On Jul 09, 2015
And here they come with the western bullshyt again.

@bold but if she's behaving abnormal, then the same parents will encourage him to get another wife?

If the man is behaving funny and the girl's parents support her to go find another man, won't you call it 'western' grin?
But when the tables are turned, it is suddenly African for the man's parents to encourage him to find another wife of his wife behaves bad.

But you're right sha.
Funny two face hypocrites.

Very funny how something can be western and African at the same time depending on who does it.
bashydemy:
Like i said in my previous comment, Forget about those western nonsense that is ruining our sense of reasoning. A sane parent will never even want their son to get another woman if his wife is good wife and behave normal, You cannot expect parent most especially the mother to support a wife who disrespect her son in front of everyone always... for instance, I have seen so many cases even here on NL where a lady will say she don't her mother inlaw to be coming over to there house, Some will never wanna see any family member around their hubby.. Some will not want you to go out with your friends trying to control you everytime and in most cases this happen because the lady support of her mother... The only people you will be seeing around are mostly her family, Sometimes when any of your family come to say hello she will want to know their mission what they have come for.. some will even be telling you how much to give your mother, Someone will be acting funny when the hubby family come visiting and you want the family to just sit down and watch?


In my own case I call my wife when she misbehave saying she know my mother is controlling, If i want to go into any imvestment of buy any properties or do anything My (our Lives) why will always go and talk to my parent about it first so what's her mission in the house.. and my response is.. Woman you can't tell me what to do, I am performing my role as a husband and making sure you never lack anything.. But concerning my other normal stuff, Like my business, my investment etc i have to seek the opinion of elders and the most trusted are my Parent father and mother... then she will start nagging... I never get angry and my responses are always brief and direct and one of the response she always get is, Woman, I have known my Father and Mother for good 26yrs before i even know you exist so you can turn my back at them cos i get married to you. Shikenna.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 7:14pm On Jul 09, 2015
bukatyne:


@bolded: Lol!

@bashydemy: if you think your mom is more important, you can marry her.
You see the direction you take this to? Ok she confide in her parent and they plan to buy land and start building house for her what do you call that? that shows her parent is more important can she go and marry her Dad?

1 Like

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bashydemy(m): 7:54pm On Jul 09, 2015
cococandy:
And here they come with the western bullshyt again.

@bold but if she's behaving abnormal, then the same parents will encourage him to get another wife?

If the man is behaving funny and the girl's parents support her to go find another man, won't you call it 'western' grin?
But when the tables are turned, it is suddenly African for the man's parents to encourage him to find another wife of his wife behaves bad.

But you're right sha.
Funny two face hypocrites.

Very funny how something can be western and African at the same time depending on who does it.
Hahaha Well no matter what this is Africa, and we have our culture and we have to respect our culture, Now tell me if you and your mother went to visit your brother and your sister inlaw started giving attitude and rude to your mother will you say because they are married you will just sit down looking like slowpoke? I know you won't even take it lightly with her.. I know how you woman react, If it happen to another family you will blame the husband and possibly the mother inlaw, But if the same happen to your family most especially your sister inlaw insulting your mother or giving to show you guys should not visit there house or treating your mother bad i know even will fall... I know what am saying and have seen alot.

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by cococandy(f): 8:29pm On Jul 09, 2015
I hear you.

So what about when the man is being rude or nasty to the wife or her family? Is there a portion of 'your culture' that addresses that?

No let me guess. It doesn't matter.
Your culture is not interested in respect for a wife.

If she mentions it, it is western grin
Respect for a spouse is only African when it is directed to the husband and his family.

Yeye things.

bashydemy:
Hahaha Well no matter what this is Africa, and we have our culture and we have to respect our culture, Now tell me if you and your mother went to visit your brother and your sister inlaw started giving attitude and rude to your mother will you say because they are married you will just sit down looking like slowpoke? I know you won't even take it lightly with her.. I know how you woman react, If it happen to another family you will blame the husband and possibly the mother inlaw, But if the same happen to your family most especially your sister inlaw insulting your mother or giving to show you guys should not visit there house or treating your mother bad i know even will fall... I know what am saying and have seen alot.

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by bukatyne(f): 8:34pm On Jul 09, 2015
bashydemy:
You see the direction you take this to? Ok she confide in her parent and they plan to buy land and start building house for her what do you call that? that shows her parent is more important can she go and marry her Dad?

If she cannot confide in you her lover and husband, you who she shares a bed with then she is better off married to her parents/father.

Maybe you both should just get a divorce and marry your family

OR

Go Back to the drawing board, divorce your parents/family and start cleaving to each other.

If your parents did not leave their own parents and cleaved to themselves, you might not have them as a support system today.

My husband comes first before kids or family.
I come first before our kids or his family.

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