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Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Why Men Scared Of Getting Married / Why Men Should Only Do Traditional Marriage / Why Women Treat Side Guys Better Than Husbands (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by freecocoa(f): 5:37pm On Jul 06, 2015
crackhaus:

It's okay if you think I'm arguing in support of cheating and breaking vows.

What other marriage vows do you know?
Please share the words with us as it is said.

The point is, the man took a vow and should abide by it...same way a single woman needs to be responsible to herself and not have a relationship with a married man.
Morality is not gender-specific.
I haven't in any way suggested you are supporting cheating, the word "unless" should tell you that, it is your place to indicate if you are or not.

Seriously? What other marriage vows do I know? How does my knowledge of marriage vows come into play? Does it mean you don't agree that not all marriage vows are biblical? Dude some people write their own vows and so far in all the wedding ceremonies I've witnessed, none includes allowing a partner cheat.

The point remains that, you can't tell a single lady how to be responsible for herself, what you consider irresponsible, might be responsible to her, cheating can ruin a man in a law court but I am yet to see/hear that any single lady was taken to court for sleeping with a married man.

I believe I have not opined that morality is gender specific, I have only said it is subjective.

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by freecocoa(f): 5:38pm On Jul 06, 2015
cococandy:


Well I don't know how others see things but if I cheat on my husband, the fault is all on me in my opinion. No blaming the society or the guy who got the permission from me to come between us.
As should be.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by cococandy(f): 5:38pm On Jul 06, 2015
mredwifeosband:
ya friend no get name grin tongue


make i hook you guys up grin cool

We are still in touch. smiley
She's my namesake too. (Native name)
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by crackhaus: 5:40pm On Jul 06, 2015
edwife:
.





gringringrin
Can't believe it got 15 likes....

Wow wow wow

So a man is a head and for- runner? So when it comes to a woman happiness,a man must be responsible?
Where is the equality here? embarassed embarassed

@BABE3 and crackhaus... cheesy
I don't usually go check on people's post history, but I was moved to check that posters' - he/she loves to type and tries very hard.

There were so many things wrong with the post and I just didn't want to deal with it, hence my GIF.... and to think the poster was trying hard to make sense made it even more embarrassing. gringrin

4 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by mredwifeosband: 5:40pm On Jul 06, 2015
cococandy:


We are still in touch. smiley
She's my namesake too. (Native name)
lie lie grin grin grin
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by cococandy(f): 5:43pm On Jul 06, 2015
mredwifeosband:
lie lie grin grin grin
it's true.

That's how you doubted me the first time I told you. Ok forget it sha.

1 Like

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by crackhaus: 5:46pm On Jul 06, 2015
BABE3:

You mean western men don't cheat on their wives? What planet that west dey, abeg? I'm tired of these cheating fùckboys. grin
Lmao... gringrin

How dare they?
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by yorubadelta(f): 5:53pm On Jul 06, 2015
babygirlfl:


To answer your question, The man, the side chic and the society is to be blamed. The man because he is married and has to live with the decision he made to spend the rest of his life with his wife. The side chic because you should do unto others as you wish to be done to you. The society for tolerating both a cheating man and a side chic.

However, blame never solves any problem. The part I know most people are always interested in is how to solve this problem that is fast becoming a menace to society. All the parties blamed have to be addressed but in my opinion, the man has a much higher percentage of work to do. Self control is very important. It is much easier for a man to make a decision not to cheat than for us to change the minds of all the side chics or society. The man is the single most powerful and effective person that can break the circle. You fight a side chic and another one rears her ugly head tomorrow. How many can you fight? Do side chics deserve to be punished? Absolutely yes but the person who should get the biggest punishment is the man. It is absolutely stupid for the wife to fight the side chic and then come home to play the dutiful and loving wife to the husband.

Babygirl, you get sense.. smiley

6 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by yorubadelta(f): 5:53pm On Jul 06, 2015
crackhaus:

I don't usually go check on people's post history, but I was moved to check that posters' - he/she loves to type and tries very hard.

There were so many things wrong with the post and I just didn't want to deal with it, hence my GIF.... and to think the poster was trying hard to make sense made it even more embarrassing. gringrin



Lool. Well unfortunately this is Nairaland where people will 'like' anything they see on front page.

3 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by BABE3: 5:56pm On Jul 06, 2015
cococandy:


Of course people cheat everywhere in the world.

See question o grin.

But by default (law) you can do something about it if you want to. At least that keeps some of them in check.

Imagine a state governor PUBLICLY keeping a mistress and beating his wife for questioning him.
You know the difference.
No fear of consequences.

which kind check? Chei coco... grin Upon all the checks and balance you'd think western men will be less shiesty. But surprise, surprise, Infidelity is still a leading cause of divorce in the west. If Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce, imagine the number of western wives that are still living with cheating husbands coz of the emotional stress of divorce....

Humans are the same everywhere. Yes there are laws here in the west compared to Africa but that's all on the surface. No difference between a modern african marriage and a western marriage; the bullshìt is just packaged differently.

The number of cheating men hasn't reduced because of those laws , btw. I can even argue that it has increased.
I've lived in the west for a while, I've never seen where a western wife divorced her husband coz he cheated once. The men usually get a pass; the women proceed to divorce if the man is unrepentant, or if he's rich, or if there are other issues apart from cheating.

Bottom line is, it's not all black and white. We (westerners and Africans) have more similarities than differences.

6 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by edwife(f): 5:56pm On Jul 06, 2015
crackhaus:

I don't usually go check on people's post history, but I was moved to check that posters' - he/she loves to type and tries very hard.

There were so many things wrong with the post and I just didn't want to deal with it, hence my GIF.... and to think the poster was trying hard to make sense made it even more embarrassing. gringrin

You know i didn't get your gif at first,but after reading through the post,i was like? shocked shocked shocked

They don't care to understand or anything,as long as it is the man who takes the blame.That guy was practically saying that the world revolves around MEN. grin
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by ABEngine(m): 5:58pm On Jul 06, 2015
Money rules morality, I believe it's often the case with man's insatiability, men and women alike.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by babygirlfl: 6:02pm On Jul 06, 2015
yorubadelta:


Babygirl, you get sense.. smiley

Thanks

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by babygirlfl: 6:03pm On Jul 06, 2015
yorubadelta:




Lool. Well unfortunately this is Nairaland where people will 'like' anything they see on front page.

Some people like a post not because they like every single word or sentence in the post.

1 Like

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by crackhaus: 6:05pm On Jul 06, 2015
freecocoa:
I haven't in any way suggested you are supporting cheating, the word "unless" should tell you that, it is your place to indicate if you are or not.
It doesn't matter.

Seriously? What other marriage vows do I know? How does my knowledge of marriage vows come into play? Does it mean you don't agree that not all marriage vows are biblical? Dude some people write their own vows and so far in all the wedding ceremonies I've witnessed, none includes allowing a partner cheat.
No marriage encourages cheating, vows or not.
Agreed!

The point remains that, you can't tell a single lady how to be responsible for herself, what you consider irresponsible, might be responsible to her, cheating can ruin a man in a law court but I am yet to see/hear that any single lady was taken to court for sleeping with a married man.
Is a married man taken to court for sleeping with a side-chic?

You can't tell a single lady how to be responsible by staying away from married men...same way you shouldn't tell a married man how to be responsible by keeping his vows.

I believe I have not opined that morality is gender specific, I have only said it is subjective.
I have always agreed on the obvious, which is that morality is subjective.

So remind me why you're putting all the blame on the man... is his idea of morality supposed to align with yours or with the vows he may have made in Hindu, Chinese, or Igbo?

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by troy20(m): 6:06pm On Jul 06, 2015
FrancisTony:

No one else could have said it better. Dayuuuuum!!!

As a fellow man, I vehemently concur, endorsed, cosigned and dusted. gringrin

THREAD CLOSED
always needing to leave in a statement of being a man eh? Something tells me you are even beginning to doubt your sex

9 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by yorubadelta(f): 6:06pm On Jul 06, 2015
edwife:
.





gringringrin
Can't believe it got 15 likes....

Wow wow wow

So a man is a head and for- runner? So when it comes to a woman happiness,a man must be responsible?
Where is the equality here? embarassed embarassed

@BABE3 and crackhaus... cheesy


Granted a man has to carry his own share of blame in this situation. However, that poster threw me off when he said:

"a woman today that is happy or sad, or hurt or mad, it is a man that made her so and not another fellow woman."

Such a doltish statement.

3 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by cococandy(f): 6:10pm On Jul 06, 2015
BABE3:


which kind check? Chei coco... grin Upon all the checks and balance you'd think western men will be less shiesty. But surprise, surprise, Infidelity is still a leading cause of divorce in the west. If Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce, imagine the number of western wives that are still living with cheating husbands coz of the emotional stress of divorce....

Humans are the same everywhere. Yes there are laws here in the west compared to Africa but that's all on the surface. No difference between a modern african marriage and a western marriage; the bullshìt is just packaged differently.

The number of cheating men hasn't reduced because of those laws , btw. I can even argue that it has increased.
I've lived in the west for a while, I've never seen where a western wife divorced her husband coz he cheated once. The men usually get a pass; the women proceed to divorce if the man is unrepentant, or if he's rich, or if there are other issues apart from cheating.

Bottom line is, it's not all black and white. We (westerners and Africans) have more similarities than differences.
@bold, that happens huh? Summarizes my point.
Wil she be blamed for it or will the man have the audacity to beat her up for complaining too?


Anyway we are going to another topic. Like who cheats more or stuff like that which needs extensive research to prove beyond reasonable doubt.

My post was in response to 5mins post that western influence is the reason why Nigerians cheat on their wives. Seriously angry

I'm surprised nobody saw anything wrong with that but when I said in the west men are more prone to respect their wives (which is true) the thread wants to come to a halt? grin

Let the earth open up and swallow the west so that some people will accept not everything bad comes from there.

Ok no problem. I agree. It's not the African men's fault. The west and the women are responsible for their behavior.

5 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by edwife(f): 6:10pm On Jul 06, 2015
yorubadelta:



Granted a man has to carry his own share of blame in this situation. However, that poster threw me off when he said:

"a woman today that is happy or sad, or hurt or mad, it is a man that made her so and not another fellow woman."

Such a doltish statement.

The guy is something else, i tell you.... gringrin
I have to bookmark it. grin

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by freecocoa(f): 6:15pm On Jul 06, 2015
crackhaus:

It doesn't matter.


No marriage encourages cheating, vows or not.
Agreed!


Is a married man taken to court for sleeping with a side-chic?

You can't tell a single lady how to be responsible by staying away from married men...same way you shouldn't tell a married man how to be responsible by keeping his vows.


I have always agreed on the obvious, which is that morality is subjective.

So remind me why you're putting all the blame on the man... is his idea of morality supposed to align with yours or with the vows he may have made in Hindu, Chinese, or Igbo?
Yes a married man can be taken to court for cheating, the person he cheated with is the side chic in this case, which is why we are talking about her.

I don't have to tell him how to be responsible, his vows or just being married has done that for him. If we gave agreed that no marriage the world over, encourages cheating, why does it matter what language the vows was made in?

His morality is ofcourse supposed to align with what comes with being married, which is simply "no cheating"

I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this, as I've been practically saying the same thing, just in different words.

1 Like

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by 5minsmadness: 6:17pm On Jul 06, 2015
cococandy:
Nobody is going after the men. They are going after the girls themselves. The way some married men deny their marital status, take off their rings and pursue young girls is alarming sometimes. If I didn't experience it, i'd have thought it was a lie.

As usual blame the west undecided

Western men respect their wives. You don't mess with your wife like a fool around here or you will have grave consequences if she wants to drag your ass to court.

Pls blame who's to blame.
From blaming the girls, you've turned to blame the west. African men are no longer polygamous?

Will it hurt you for once to apportion blame where it belongs? Ugh! Jeez!

Where was the term "side chic" coined from?
Who glamourised the term "Baby mama"? And made it such a thing of pride that our ladies started making headlines with it?
Are those African terms?

Sure we have always had mistresses and the philandering husband and secret wives but we didn't glamourise it. It was a thing of shame actually. Unfaithfulness occurs everywhere, even in your precious west. In fact it became so rampant in the West that laws had to be enacted to discourage such behaviour. Hence your "respectful" western men who are only respectful because they fear the law courts. It doesn't stop cheating though as evidenced by the TV series of "cheaters" I watch daily and the level of divorces still at an all time high in the US.

I know this might come as a rude shock to you but the US is a festering cesspool of unfaithful men and women. I know, I know, have a hankie cry



As per your example of men going after the girls sure that happens. But for you to deny that girls also go out of thier way to chase married men shows you being biased (as usual, nothing new here), or you must have gotten married really young and had innocent friends as well. There are frequent reports in my office of single girls throwing themselves kamikaze-like at married men whether or not they wear rings and it's really tasking and laborious trying to discourage them or push them away. These girls know the said target is married but are undeterred, in fact some have admitted it's a kind of turn-on for them as they view married men as more "responsible" and "matured".

All men have the tendency to be polygamous of they can get away with it, even your precious white men in the West. It's just the courts like you said that holds them back.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by crackhaus: 6:19pm On Jul 06, 2015
edwife:


You know i didn't get your gif at first,but after reading through the post,i was like? shocked shocked shocked

They don't care to understand or anything,as long as it is the man who takes the blame. That guy was practically saying that the world revolves around MEN. grin
Sensationalism at its best...I honestly couldn't make sense of anything on there. grin

What's wrong with my GIF? angry
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by BABE3: 6:21pm On Jul 06, 2015
cococandy:

@bold, that happens huh? Summarizes my point.
Wil she be blamed for it or will the man have the audacity to beat her up for complaining too?


Anyway we are going to another topic. Like who cheats more or stuff like that which needs extensive research to prove beyond reasonable doubt.

My post was in response to 5mins post that western influence is the reason why Nigerians cheat on their wives. Seriously angry

I'm surprised nobody saw anything wrong with that but when I said in the west men are more prone to respect their wives (which is true) the thread wants to come to a halt? grin

Let the earth open up and swallow the west so that some people will accept not everything bad comes from there.

Ok no problem. I agree. It's not the African men's fault. The west and the women are responsible for their behavior.

I didn't even see the post you're talking about. I don't read everyone's posts on here. I see some usernames and just jump and pass. grin

I read yours, that what why quoted you. Not that I'm picking on you. cheesy

Anyways, cheating isn't a western or African trend. That's obvious enough.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by Nobody: 6:22pm On Jul 06, 2015
troy20:

always needing to leave in a statement of being a man eh? Something tells me you are even beginning to doubt your sex
Na so my post pain you reach? You sound bitter!.

Oya, smack your head on the wall or jump inside third main-land because I am not the cause of your predicaments. smiley

14 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by crackhaus: 6:25pm On Jul 06, 2015
freecocoa:
Yes a married man can be taken to court for cheating, the person he cheated with is the side chic in this case, which is why we are talking about her.
A married man can be taken to court to initiate divorce proceedings as a result of cheating, not for cheating itself - cheating is not a crime one can go to jail or serve community service for.

I don't have to tell him how to be responsible, his vows or just being married has done that for him. If we gave agreed that no marriage the world over, encourages cheating, why does it matter what language the vows was made in?
Okay.

His morality is of course supposed to align with what comes with being married, which is simply "no cheating"
Okay.

I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this, as I've been practically saying the same thing, just in different words.
Okay.

Thanks for your time...

3 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by babygirlfl: 6:29pm On Jul 06, 2015
cococandy:


Well I don't know how others see things but if I cheat on my husband, the fault is all on me in my opinion. No blaming the society or the guy who got the permission from me to come between us.



You are right however the fact that the side chic is not entirely blameless* means that they share in the blame however little. The man obviously has the biggest part of the blame and is the person that can most effectively put a stop the cheating. People sometimes needs a form of punishment to deter them from doing something. Sincerely, I don't know the best way to punish side chicks as we all know the wife beating and fighting the side chic is a waste of time I do know that they deserve to be purnished for causing another so much pain. More emphasis should be put on the man for this menace to stop.

* as far she is aware the man is married

Just like you said, a society frowning at something might discourage some people from doing it. The ex governor did it shamelessly because the society doesn't frown at it.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by cococandy(f): 6:30pm On Jul 06, 2015
Thanks for agreeing with me @bold.
Humans are basically the same everywhere.
So where the laws are strong, people behave better. Or hide their misbehavior better. Hence my stand that they are more prone to respect their women.

I'd be quite naive to say people there don't cheat but you come on a public forum and say they are to blame for others cheating in other parts of the world? Really?

I don't have any shares in any western nation but I find it annoying that some of you manage to make soup that goes sour in your house the fault of the 'west'

Seriously accept your faults and move on.
@last bolded, you don't even know what you're saying. Are all men Polygamous or are the western men corrupting you innocent ones.
You even agree something holds them back.
Pls decide what you're saying.

But for now married men cheating is their fault and not the fault of the so called west and the girls.


5minsmadness:

Where was the term "side chic" coined from?
Who glamourised the term "Baby mama"? And made it such a thing of pride that our ladies started making headlines with it?
Are those African terms?

Sure we have always had mistresses and the philandering husband and secret wives but we didn't glamourise it. It was a thing of shame actually. Unfaithfulness occurs everywhere, even in your precious west. In fact it became so rampant in the West that laws had to be enacted to discourage such behaviour. Hence your "respectful" western men who are only respectful because they fear the law courts. It doesn't stop cheating though as evidenced by the TV series of "cheaters" I watch daily and the level of divorces still at an all time high in the US.

I know this might come as a rude shock to you but the US is a festering cesspool of unfaithful men and women. I know, I know, have a hankie cry



As per your example of men going after the girls sure that happens. But for you to deny that girls also go out of thier way to chase married men shows you being biased (as usual, nothing new here), or you must have gotten married really young and had innocent friends as well. There are frequent reports in my office of single girls throwing themselves kamikaze-like at married men whether or not they wear rings and it's really tasking and laborious trying to discourage them or push them away. These girls know the said target is married but are undeterred, in fact some have admitted it's a kind of turn-on for them as they view married men as more "responsible" and "matured".

All men have the tendency to be polygamous of they can get away with it, even your precious white men in the West. It's just the courts like you said that holds them back.



Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by Kimoni: 6:31pm On Jul 06, 2015
BABE3:


which kind check? Chei coco... grin Upon all the checks and balance you'd think western men will be less shiesty. But surprise, surprise, Infidelity is still a leading cause of divorce in the west. If Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce, imagine the number of western wives that are still living with cheating husbands coz of the emotional stress of divorce....

Humans are the same everywhere. Yes there are laws here in the west compared to Africa but that's all on the surface. No difference between a modern african marriage and a western marriage; the bullshìt is just packaged differently.

The number of cheating men hasn't reduced because of those laws , btw. I can even argue that it has increased.
I've lived in the west for a while, I've never seen where a western wife divorced her husband coz he cheated once. The men usually get a pass; the women proceed to divorce if the man is unrepentant, or if he's rich, or if there are other issues apart from cheating.

Bottom line is, it's not all black and white. We (westerners and Africans) have more similarities than differences.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by crackhaus: 6:32pm On Jul 06, 2015
yorubadelta:

Lool. Well unfortunately this is Nairaland where people will 'like' anything they see on front page.
Just another day on Nairaland grin
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by troy20(m): 6:33pm On Jul 06, 2015
it really is a shame on men who treat their side chicks better than their wives.but thats not to say their isnt much more decent men who know how to place the varying situations as this on the appropriate priority chart.
Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by freecocoa(f): 6:37pm On Jul 06, 2015
crackhaus:

A married man can be taken to court to initiate divorce proceedings as a result of cheating, not for cheating itself - cheating is not a crime one can go to jail or serve community service for.
Lol cheesy, I don't see how you can take cheating out of it, he cheated which is why there is going to be a divorce, the crime in the marriage/divorce court is cheating and the punishment for that is divorce oga sir.

There won't be a sitting, if there was no cheating.

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Treat Side-Chicks Better Than Wives by cococandy(f): 6:39pm On Jul 06, 2015
babygirlfl:




You are right however the fact that the side chic is not entirely blameless* means that they share in the blame however little. The man obviously has the biggest part of the blame and is the person that can most effectively put a stop the cheating. People sometimes needs a form of punishment to deter them from doing something. Sincerely, I don't know the best way to punish side chicks as we all know the wife beating and fighting the side chic is a waste of time I do know that they deserve to be purnished for causing another so much pain. More emphasis should be put on the man for this menace to stop.

* as far she is aware the man is married

Just like you said, a society frowning at something might discourage some people from doing it. The ex governor did it shamelessly because the society doesn't frown at it.



I'd think the bold was implied in my post. Seems I had to spell it out.

@ the rest of the post, the reason why I too can't think of a good way to punish side chicks is because they don't have much to lose in such a situation. How do you punish that kind of person?

The person who's married has more to lose.
And the married person has more power to prevent the situation from getting deep to start with.

If things go south, the single person walks and leaves the married one with the mess,heartbroken kids,wives and husbands to deal with.

Even if one can think of a good punishment for them, it won't solve the situation. The most effective solution is for married people to take their vows more seriously.

1 Like

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