waley007:
4.i do not have any complexity issue and am neva boring
5.they av bin frends b4 we met bt shes a bad infleunce.my gf even dated 2guys tru her before we met and the frend dont believe in relationship or love.its nt her way and shes wild.

Hmmm... Going by the infos supplied, I think these are the 3 issues;

- Trust issues (you)

- Peer and friends issues (your fiancé)

- commitment issues (your fiancé)


So, to tackle 'em

You need real honest and intense discussion on tha relationship; Your fears , your expectations , bla bla bla and how her attitudes her affecting you... From this she will open up I suppose... Mind you, take it easy on her... Initiate tha talk when tha mood is cossy and try not to be too naggy .. It should be a conversation (sweet one) at that...



Also, if it were that all these you said you're doing were enough, issues like this won't arise.. So, step -up yo relationship game a notch . Maybe mk it more interesting and sweeter than that she had with her ex ...


If possible, try to be her friend's friend so she might dance to the tune af your own music.


Most importantly, use your own discretion too . You have tha brains gademit!

MzNelly:
What do you do when you find yourself in love with two people?

Pick the better one

mayreeh215:

Pick the better one

Thanks.

But better in what aspect?

MzNelly:


Thanks.

But better in what aspect?

Depends on your preferences...maturity, character, looks, etc

MzNelly:
What do you do when you find yourself in love with two people?

Dump them both. Dump them both. Listen to good counsel

Anyway did you know today's my bday?

Krystalxxx:


Dump them both. Dump them both. Listen to good counsel

Anyway did you know today's my bday?

No.

Happy birthday darling!!!!!

I just saw your diary. Wow!!!

Did you have fun?

mayreeh215:

Depends on your preferences...maturity, character, looks, etc

Thank you

How does one cope wit a monitoring spirit...

MzNelly:


No.

Happy birthday darling!!!!!

I just saw your diary. Wow!!!

Did you have fun?

Oh yes I did dear.
I strolled around

Thanks for the birthday wishes

Krystalxxx:


Oh yes I did dear.
I strolled around

Thanks for the birthday wishes

Strolled around?

Lol

At least you had fun.

It is quite easy for everyone to give relationship advice and i have no problem with that except for the fact that as i wrote on the thread "Mature minds" and age is not about maturity but the experience we have gathered in life.

Nevertheless i would want people who share their issues here to use their discretion in weighing different advices here but as the creator of this thread, i will always give you my personal opinion on any issue you share so for my prompt response please always mention my ID (Toks2008) for prompt response.

Thanks

Cutehector:
How does one cope wit a monitoring spirit...

Monitoring spirits are spiritual and spiritual matters should be channeled to the appropriate quarters like deliverance ministers so look for any MFM church and go for prayer session.

You can also pray and fast for 7days say from 12midnight to 6pm next day praying everyday for GOD to deliver you.

MzNelly:
What do you do when you find yourself in love with two people?

Its quite normal to have peripheral feelings for two people and not the love you think it is.
Unfortunately i cant continue with this advice until i know your age because as i wrote before,age plays a major role in the way we think and act towards issues of the heart. So please state your age.

Toks2008:


Monitoring spirits are spiritual and spiritual matters should be channeled to the appropriate quarters like deliverance ministers so look for any MFM church and go for prayer session.

You can also pray and fast for 7days say from 12midnight to 6pm next day praying everyday for GOD to deliver you.

lmao.. Not dat kind of spirit jooor.. I mean someone who monitors ur online activities all the time...

Toks2008:


Its quite normal to have peripheral feelings for two people and not the love you think it is.
Unfortunately i cant continue with this advice until i know your age because as i wrote before,age plays a major role in the way we think and act towards issues of the heart. So please state your age.

18

stan241:
Uncle toks o wey u


I'm attracted to what I've now grown to term "emotionally unavailable" ladies

I'm a very sad romantic, the little things like the suprise/unannounced visits, out of the blue texts at nights, PDA and what have you i love those things, the last meaningful relationship i had we dated for around 6months and we would talk every single day and more than once too plus the chats maybe I'm still hung up on her but its been close to 2yrs now

Every other lady I've met since are just not available emotionally, I'm the one who remembers to call, wants them to visit,texts e.t.c

Warris wrong with moi uncle toks?

You wrote that you are in your mid 20s so i can imagine its not about teenage emotional rush.

This is one thing you must understand about ladies.

Most ladies get attracted more to guys who show them that he has a life and i mean a real busy life other than make them a focal point.

You need to really mellow down on the attention you give them.

Yes ladies love caring,romantic and readily available guy but make them miss you and make them want you and if you can painstakingly do this, you wil realize how affectionate ladies will be towards you.

The bottom line is that ladies have subconscious complex issues and they will naturally gravitate towards guys who shows less attention for them so get busy and be less clingy to any new lady you will come across without losing your romantic touch and you will likely get more appreciation from the lady.

My humble advice.

MzNelly:
What do you do when you find yourself in love with two people?

Sorry what are the ages of these two guys?

Cutehector:
lmao.. Not dat kind of spirit jooor.. I mean someone who monitors ur online activities all the time...

Then apparently the person likes you so just check out the person and see if you can spark off a good relationship and go for it.

Its a privilege to be adored by the opposite sex and we must never take advantage of them as well as make them feel cheap,If you like the person then go for it but if you don't please ignore and don't ever take advantage of the person.

Toks2008:


Sorry what are the ages of these two guys?

You know what? Nvm

MzNelly:


Strolled around?

Lol

At least you had fun.

Yeah I did. Good night dearie

MzNelly:


You know what? Nvm

Its quite unfortunate that you want a very profitable advice yet you refuse to provide the essential info to ensure you get the best advice.

You are not doing me a favor by providing these info but yourself so you its your call.

Have a nice week ahead.

Toks2008:


Its quite unfortunate that you want a very profitable advice yet you refuse to provide the essential info to ensure you get the best advice.

You are not doing me a favor by providing these info but yourself so you its your call.

Have a nice week ahead.

No, it's not what it seems.

I just feel like I would rather PM you for advice rather than out here in the open.

Please if you can not provide your age info and that of the other person concerned i wil advice you don't bother posting your issues here.

The age info is very very vital and i can't stress this enough.

Thanks

MzNelly:


No, it's not what it seems.

I just feel like I would rather PM you for advice rather than out here in the open.

It is allowed to open a new id if you want to be anonymous and i really can't cope giving advice on watsup except for any other reason.

Its better we discuss every issue here so that others can learn.

Hope you get.

Toks2008:


It is allowed to open a new id if you want to be anonymous and i really can't cope giving advice on watsup except for any other reason.

Its better we discuss every issue here so that others can learn.

Hope you get.

19 and 21.

Mine is am in relationship wit a lady that I love so much everything was going fine just of a sudden she sent me a text dat she want a break in the relationship. Wat baffle me most is dat we are a long distance relationship I ask her reasons she told me she want focus on writing her books even duo we do communicate almost everyday I don't disturb her either so I find it hard to believe am an obstacle for her to achive her goals goals

MzNelly:


19 and 21.

Ok now get this vital advice from me.

Unfortunately in my opinion,there is a high possibility that none of these two may provide you with a purposeful affair except you are extremely lucky because the age gap seems too close but you may not understand now until when you are probably some years deep in the affairs and these guys might still be unready for real commitment at 28 while you will be at your prime at 25/26 but that is by the way.

Now to your main issue i guess you are probably having a normal feeling of indecisiveness considering your age and that is perfectly normal and YES there is a possibility that one of these two guys may not really feel that real deal so don't rush it.

Don't feel like you need to make a decision right away. Your decision could take some time. During that time, hopefully, one of the guys will do something good or bad to make the decision much easier for you. As long as you haven't committed to either guy and don't feel like you're being disloyal to one guy by hanging out with the other, then you should take some time to make the decision.

Just don't drag it on too long and you can just observe for about 8 months and please during this time avoid sexual intimacy with either of the two which will make your decision easier to make because once you allow sexual contacts then if at the end you pick one guy, but he finds out that you've been hanging out with another guy for the last few months, then he may feel hurt or slighted and will not waste a second bringing you down with the sexual acts he has with you and in-case you have been allowing both of them to be sexual with you then its time to stop and take time out to choose wisely.

But be sure to look out for the guy that truly loves you and not the one you love.


My candid advice

Toks2008:


Ok now get this vital advice from me.

Unfortunately in my opinion,there is a high possibility that none of these two may provide you with a purposeful affair except you are extremely lucky because the age gap seems too close but you may not understand now until when you are probably some years deep in the affairs and these guys might still be unready for real commitment at 28 while you will be at your prime at 25/26 but that is by the way.

Now to your main issue i guess you are probably having a normal feeling of indecisiveness considering your age and that is perfectly normal and YES there is a possibility that one of these two guys may not really feel that real deal so don't rush it.

Don't feel like you need to make a decision right away. Your decision could take some time. During that time, hopefully, one of the guys will do something good or bad to make the decision much easier for you. As long as you haven't committed to either guy and don't feel like you're being disloyal to one guy by hanging out with the other, then you should take some time to make the decision.

Just don't drag it on too long and you can just observe for about 8 months and please during this time avoid sexual intimacy with either of the two which will make your decision easier to make because once you allow sexual contacts then if at the end you pick one guy, but he finds out that you've been hanging out with another guy for the last few months, then he may feel hurt or slighted and will not waste a second bringing you down with the sexual acts he has with you and in-case you have been allowing both of them to be sexual with you then its time to stop and take time out to choose wisely.

But be sure to look out for the guy that truly loves you and not the one you love.


My candid advice

Thank you.

MzNelly:


Thank you.

He forgot to tell you to grow up. Focus more on things that'll push you to greater glory tomorrow and dwell less on whatever affection you've got for these dudes, cos truthfully, it'll all end in a flash.

FactsTruths:


He forgot to tell you to grow up. Focus more on things that'll push you to greater glory tomorrow and dwell less on whatever affection you've got for these dudes, cos truthfully, it'll all end in a flash.

This was totally uncalled for, just so you know.

kinda much pals. here's is what I'm going through: we had a misunderstanding, the cause really was that I didn't call her just for a whole day, she normally seems to get upset and tryna avoid me whenever I behave as if of don't have her time. so I called late in the night around 10pm, her phone rang and the next thing she did is switched off her phone. then the second day around 12pm she so my me an sms, but I replied her with a blasting text, which I told her I'm different from other guys that follow her around like pigs, that I trully love her, but if she wants to be behaving like, then to hell with love and told her that to hell with whatever she stands for, actually I insulted her cause that wasn't the first time she did what she did. after all these, she called I didn't pick, then she text me on whatsapp saying "thanks for the message, that she loves it" especially the "to hell with whatever she stands for, that was why she called. I ignored the message and gave her of a week, I decided to get her upset and upload females pictures and status inserting other femAles names. which I think got her angry, she started updating status saying she doesn't care about, nagging all sort. so yesterday I typed her, she didn't reply, then I asked why she ignored it she asked if it hurts, I said No. pals, she's been behaving stupidly, updating males name on her status and uploading pictures with her male friends, she's really doing shit presently. avoiding me. I decided to ask if the relationship is still on or has ended. guys, she wouldn't reply to that question instead she will twist it and says she's busy.. I'm tired, I love her.. the way she's behaving might just make me move on with someone else, which of don't wish to.. while chatting with her, she update a status saying, "have you ever looked at someone and just gets annoyed? " I'm just Know what to do. whenever I tell her to stop all these, she asks whether it's hurting me or not. well, av decided to leave whatsapp and let her do her shit for sometimes.. I mean she's too arrogant, she plays mind games, she's from Benin. while this fight is ongoing she told me, I'm fun to chat with but not fun to be with, cause I'm already getting upset with her on whatsapp. I need advice pals, whether to ignore her and move on. moreover, she told me, she didn't get hurt while I was behaving that way, but she does get hurt I know, I've given given her several excuses, but she's adamant on behaving that way. advice please

e's is what I'm going through: we had a misunderstanding, the cause really was that I didn't call her just for a whole day, she normally seems to get upset and tryna avoid me whenever I behave as if of don't have her time. so I called late in the night around 10pm, her phone rang and the next thing she did is switched off her phone. then the second day around 12pm she so my me an sms, but I replied her with a blasting text, which I told her I'm different from other guys that follow her around like pigs, that I trully love her, but if she wants to be behaving like, then to hell with love and told her that to hell with whatever she stands for, actually I insulted her cause that wasn't the first time she did what she did. after all these, she called I didn't pick, then she text me on whatsapp saying "thanks for the message, that she loves it" especially the "to hell with whatever she stands for, that was why she called. I ignored the message and gave her of a week, I decided to get her upset and upload females pictures and status inserting other femAles names. which I think got her angry, she started updating status saying she doesn't care about, nagging all sort. so yesterday I typed her, she didn't reply, then I asked why she ignored it she asked if it hurts, I said No. pals, she's been behaving stupidly, updating males name on her status and uploading pictures with her male friends, she's really doing shit presently. avoiding me. I decided to ask if the relationship is still on or has ended. guys, she wouldn't reply to that question instead she will twist it and says she's busy.. I'm tired, I love her.. the way she's behaving might just make me move on with someone else, which of don't wish to.. while chatting with her, she update a status saying, "have you ever looked at someone and just gets annoyed? " I'm just Know what to do. whenever I tell her to stop all these, she asks whether it's hurting me or not. well, av decided to leave whatsapp and let her do her shit for sometimes.. I mean she's too arrogant, she plays mind games, she's from Benin. while this fight is ongoing she told me, I'm fun to chat with but not fun to be with, cause I'm already getting upset with her on whatsapp. I need advice pals, whether to ignore her and move on. moreover, she told me, she didn't get hurt while I was behaving that way, but she does get hurt I know, I've given given her several excuses, but she's adamant on behaving that way. advice please