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My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by toksbisola: 10:49pm On Sep 04, 2015
@Op; Huh! What can I say; well, first of all it’s really sad that you are being dealt with emotionally by your hubby; very very sad indeed. But do you think taking revenge is what would sort this current problem out?

Your husband isn’t showing any remorse for his actions rather it appears he’s justifying himself with the analogy of “Men are polygamous in nature therefore they will cheat”. One thing to note here is that a man cheats only because he wants to and not because he has to. There is something called self-control; and if you resolve in your heart that you would not cheat on your spouse no matter what; then you certainly would not and this analogy applies to both men and women.

The environment that one finds themselves in sometimes may make it hard for one to walk away; but that does not mean that one cannot avoid the temptation to cheat. It is simply a silly excuse to say I want to explore out of the marital bond as “The marriage bed should be without defilement”.

Now listen up gurl; if you kill yourself because of a philandering husband; I pity you; as I will only give your husband 3 months max; and there would be another Mrs somebody by his side. And if I may ask you this question, what makes you think that the new wife would look after your kids the way you look after them currently if you allow his philandering ways to kill you?

In all, there are only 2 options here;

1) Either you leave him and let him carry on with his philandering ways and have a less stressful life along with peace of mind or;
2) You stay with him and continue to forgive him as he continuously cheats on you again and again.

The choice is totally yours; you are the one wearing the shoes and only you know how it pinches. No one else can tell you if to leave or stay.

Be careful with toiling the part of cheating with another man; as if your husband finds out you might not remain in your marital home. Statistics has shown that a wife is willing to forgive a philandering husband than it is for a husband to forgive a philandering wife.

Moving forward, part of the problem might be because you depend on him financial; that gives him the freelance to cheat as he knows you would always need money from him for your upkeep as well as that for the kids. My advice to you would be to get a job/business you are involved in to garner some income for yourself and the kids. Spending all your time checking his phone (don't get me wrong; you're entitled to check his phone) would not create income for you.

At this moment in time, the most important thing here are your kids; stick around to care for them whether you decide to stay with your husband or not. BE WISE AS YOU SEEK GUIDANCE ON A WAY FORWARD TO HANDLING THIS MARITAL ISSUE AT HAND.

From a medical point of view, I'll advice you to go for an STD test IMMEDIATELY and check to make sure that you are not carrying any disease(s) as HIV AND AIDS ARE REAL AND IT IS NOT WRITTEN ON ANYONE'S FOREHEAD. I'll ADVICE that your husband should do the same.

In all, you have received a lot of advice from here; be sure to choose wisely what you would follow; AND I REPEAT; you are the only one wearing the shoes and only you know how it pinches. ALL THE BEST.


PS: I read a thread on NL where a woman died of a heartbreak because her husband was a chronic philanderer and now her children are without a mother all because she was fighting hard to stop the husband from cheating on her with different women.

I just mentioned this for you to be aware that a person can indeed die from a heartbreak. So please beware and be wise.

I rest my case

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by angelchinny: 10:50pm On Sep 04, 2015
I hv read up, I hv been searchin 4 a job since I finished my NYSC 2013. I stay @ home 24 hours everyday and dats why he treats me dis way..I must confess I didn't knw him well b4 rushin in2 marriage with him cos we barely dated up2 6 months. But when we were datin he hide part of him perfectly well cos assuming I suspected any rubbish, would hv left him..he was all over me, he was leakin my feet then actin as if his life depended on me
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by kunle75(m): 10:51pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

please its better you pray than to cheat or punish him in any way cos you will be at the receiving end at the end of the day.

trust me
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by adesbreath: 10:52pm On Sep 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

Hehehehehe grin
Good one!

It seems his friends are also a major issue. Can't u find a way to keep him away from them? Don't do it directly cos it will have a negative result, rather insist on him being home early and raise hell if he isn't. OR Call him at odd hours when he's outside and send him message e.g "pls dear buy banana and groundnut for me on your way back. ". Tomorrow it could be 'since u r outside could u buy bread and garri on your way back, also add bathing soap cos the kids have not had thier bath... Etc"

Men HATE being sent messages like these but have no concrete reasons to refuse them. Soon he would prefer being at home early instead of letting u spoil his fun outside.

Na secret I don blow for u oh!


Your so right and funny too. Weldone

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by AfroKnight: 10:57pm On Sep 04, 2015
Lol. She wants to punish him. cheesy cheesy cheesy As if that will work.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by islandmoon: 11:02pm On Sep 04, 2015
i keep telling you ladies!!! pretend like you don't care, leave the kids for him to take care of , exactly what emeka Ike's wife did!

then he will seat tight, tell him you are no longer interested in the marriage as long as he has proved to be selfish! disappear for just two weeks!

i once gave a lady such advice and the selfish husband got confused immediately after bathing the kids, cooking for them and caring for them alone, he them realized life is not just about sleeping with girls around alone , Family is more important.



how ever , that approach may not work for a rich many who doesn't really love you and can afford a Nanny or house girl,

but still made emeka ike to surrender and now begging around.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by kandiikane(m): 11:04pm On Sep 04, 2015
lastpage:


Big "NO"!... and l never said that!
Where did you get that idea from .... or are you "manufacturing things" in your head?

Take your Meds please or book an appointment to see your Shrink..... I cant be responsible for how you're feeling today! :-



Lastpage!


BTW: Some of you really need to understand the meaning of polygamy, whether "serial polygamy" or "conjugate Polygamy"... it is still polygamy.
That "some" will want more than one woman is not new or strange. Ditto some women who cannot stay with one man.
That some people will cheat in a marriage is not new, even the King of England did it, if you know your history!
That it is acceptable to some while not acceptable to others is not saying anything new or ground-breaking!

getting worked-up over it is simply stewpid because that has never changed the behaviour, even from biblical times!
Each person to their own choice/luck in life

Utter rubbish! Don't know why you even quoted me because all you did here is talk shyt without really expatiating on your reasons for quoting me.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by raayah(f): 11:13pm On Sep 04, 2015
stonecoldcafe:


I knew you were not working. Ask me how i knew you were a stay at home mum? 9 out of 10 times, a man disrespects and continously cheats on a woman who depends solely on him for every single damn thing. He knows you cannot and will not go anywhere cos you are wholly dependant on him. A Man also misbehaves when his wife works but he tends to hide or break the thing off entirely when the woman is equally powerful in her own right. He knows she will not eat nonsense from him. He will rarely flaunt it in her face because he knows the repercussion is grave.

Madam, get something to do with your hands. Go and learn a trade or something; there is power in a woman who can stand on her own two feet. Stay at home mum is so old school!

GBAM!

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by CrazyMan(m): 11:13pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:

Okay will do jst dat. What if I fake calls and make him jealous as well cos I told him recently dat my 1st love re-sufaced n he is realy hrtbroken dat am already married cos he came bk 4 us to rekindle our love. He got realy mad n couldn't sleep dat night
I would advise that you don't follow this path...you should know that two wrongs don't make a right.

Making it look like you're trying to cheat on him when you're not, will only worsen the situation.

You already complained of how abrasive his friends are, imagine if he tells them that you've started cheating on him...they might encourage him to turn you into a punching bag. And then you'll have a cheat and a wife beater to deal with.

Also, you stated that the major reason why you can't leave is because you wouldn't be able to cope with the financial burden of you and your kids.

You just have to be independent if you want your man to respect you...you cannot keep depending on him for everything and expect him not to misbehave. There are lots of petty trading that fetches a reasonable income with very little capital. Ask your friends to put you through so that at least you'll have something you and your kids can survive on if worse comes to worse.

Finally, in the area of sex, my advice; buy condoms, and stop him from sleeping with you...if he insists, give him one of them (the condoms) and tell him point blank that you're doing this to protect yourself cos you cannot trust him anymore.

Good luck.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by mdfaruk: 11:20pm On Sep 04, 2015
well spoken!! but don't forget if she refuse him sex, she herself will still feel the urge some day. so what will she do? for the period she can endure sex, let her ask for devours with a plan to remarry and see his reaction.
MISSNORA:
Sorry op... better lock up before he gives you HIV
Someone I know was in the same
predicament and hoped things would get
better. She only found out she was HIV
positive when she got pregnant. Turned out
hubby had been on ARTV for over one year.
The saddest part is that even the
secretary to her hubby also tested positive
to HIV. No need asking who the culprit was.
Be careful OP, if you're not financially
dependent on him then reject everything
from him but don't relent in your duties
except for the lock up, let him know the
reason. Tell him you're scared, you can't
have rest of mind because you don't know
the s*xual history of his other s*xual
partners so you might as well protect
yourself..... Copied from AdaNri1
MISSNORA
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by raayah(f): 11:21pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:
I hv read up, I hv been searchin 4 a job since I finished my NYSC 2013. I stay @ home 24 hours everyday and dats why he treats me dis way..I must confess I didn't knw him well b4 rushin in2 marriage with him cos we barely dated up2 6 months. But when we were datin he hide part of him perfectly well cos assuming I suspected any rubbish, would hv left him..he was all over me, he was leakin my feet then actin as if his life depended on me

I am sorry for your situation. Its difficult to get a job these days.

Take this as a lesson. Make sure your daughters are well-educated and tell them consistently that they are worth a lot. Tell them not to marry until they get a career.

Sadly, there is nothing you can do. You have no-where or no finance to move on. I will advice you to keep looking for a Job or open a shop. Do things you love. Stop having sex with him (Be very firm here, tell him that since he keeps cheating on you, you cannot risk your health). Don't cook if you are tired. Don't wash his clothes. Move out of the Bedroom. Let him see how life is without you.

Find a friend that will take you in if he kicks you out, save up some money.
Stop Caring about him. Be very indifferent. Its easier to survive this way. Educate your kids , they might help you get out of this situation in the future.

Just live life and see where it takes you.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by mdfaruk: 11:24pm On Sep 04, 2015
be careful so he didn't infect u with HIV. tell him u will devours him and remarry and see his reaction and u can also claim to take the matter to his family as well and tell them ur fear and that of ur kids for any infections.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by superfour(m): 11:27pm On Sep 04, 2015
Please with out waiting go for deliverance fast. It only God can change Man like this... Look MFM church around seek for

deliverance before it too late....
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by sleekman(m): 11:33pm On Sep 04, 2015
Angelchinny has anything good ever come out of revenge? Scheme from now till tomorrow u'll only regret in the longrun.
If u'll listen to d advice I have for u perhaps u'll get a better result than u have. First of all, its all about prayer. You need to pray ceaselessly. Fervent, intense prayers availeth much. Take some days in the week to fast every week. What fasting does is to weaken d efficacy of d devil in ur members and constantly keeps u in tune with God. When u observe something u don't like speak little, channel ur anger to meditation and prayer.
As regards ur husband, prepare very tasty meals for him, encourage ur kids to go to him. Let them make jokes, play family games, play family mind games. Call him frequently, try to know how he fared for the day. When ure spiritual u'll be pre-warned through visions, dreams. Most might involve him. Get involved in church activities. Share ur problems with older and wiser women. Get very busy with taking care of God, ur husband, kids, extended family (his and urs), alms and philanthropy, and soul winning. Make sure u play with ur family regularly. Impose some rules. Savings, vacation, dinner together, Sunday lunch with friends, variety in meals, bedroom games(if u don't know google is ur friend) and monthly Saturday barbecues with friends. Buy books and make sure u read together and develop d art of storytelling through each others senses.
Ur hubby is an adventurer hence u must be creative, look sharp and sexy. Make sure u invite his friends let him see the hunger in their eyes during bbqs. Stroke him seductively, feed him with ur fingers. Create a bond and not a gulf. Learn from d internet how courtesans kept kings and d nobles spell bound to do their bidding. Mastery cookery, instill discipline, master self and make ur hubby lord.
If u do all these I believe u'll owe me a bbq treat or a very hearty thank you. God be with u as u make a uturn in ur circumstances.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by marv1: 11:54pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:

Thankz 4 ur advice, his parents and mine are aware of d suituation, even I traveled to anoda state my dad didn't even talk sence in2 him. My parents where jst advicin me not to leave my matrimonal home 4 any reason, infact I jst don't undastand them..My husband has a group of useless friends dat doesn't hv value or respect for there wives
His friends? Thats why it will only take God for him to change. A dog is a dog no matter what. Make sure u keep ur body frm stds. When a man doesnt have regard for God, wife, marital values then he is worthless.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by chenn(m): 11:55pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:

Thankz 4 ur advice, his parents and mine are aware of d suituation, even I traveled to anoda state my dad didn't even talk sence in2 him. My parents where jst advicin me not to leave my matrimonal home 4 any reason, infact I jst don't undastand them..My husband has a group of useless friends dat doesn't hv value or respect for there wives

Madam, this were the headaches lies! As far ur husband keeping hanging those dudes of his, there will never be any tangible change in him!


My Advice! join the the LORD CHOSEN CHURCH! so that GOD will work on his soul, becos he has already defiled the bed, he has made many openings for the devils into the sanctuary of you guys home
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by DSuperWoman(f): 12:04am On Sep 05, 2015
couldnt have said it better. Lady get a job and be your own woman. Concentrate on your work and kids and fill fulfilled. The man is a serial cheater like someone said so dont try to change him, just pray for him, God will change him. Your concentration on your job or business will give you a sense of fulfillment and take your mind off him. You cannot wrap your life around him, yes you are a wife and a mother but you are also an individual. while you are at it, dress to kill, if you are fat, get back in shape. wear attractive clothes at home and avoid tying wrapper on your chest at home (yuck). makeup, carry your self with confidence and feel good. you have just one life to live
player007:
When a man cheats, it could be for a variety of reasons
1) the Friends he keeps
2) the woman may be pushing him out without knowing.
3)it could be that the sex isn't as excitn like it used to me
4) your dress sense might have changed etc.
Every man and woman had a sort of preferences of what or how they want their significant other to look like. And if they end up with someone who dosent fall into that category they will definitely cheat.
Did you see traces that he was a cheat before you said Yes but choose to to overlook because you thought he would change over time?
Make him see what he's missing by cheatn on you.
Pray for him always. Because there is NOTHING impossible for God to do.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Faraidi(m): 12:15am On Sep 05, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?
Very simple.Just give me your number let me be calling you so as for him to die of jeolousy.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Faraidi(m): 12:24am On Sep 05, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?
Very simple.Just give me ur number let me disguise as ur boyfriend.I shall be calling 24/7 that way he will know ur worth

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Olanike88(f): 12:27am On Sep 05, 2015
i'll recommend this book for you
"Things I Wish I'd Know Before We Got Married"
By Gary Chapman
With effective prayers he'll Change

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by conquerorsegun(m): 12:28am On Sep 05, 2015
My advice thou

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Olanike88(f): 12:28am On Sep 05, 2015
i'll recommend this book for you
"Things I Wish I'd Know Before We Got Married"
By Gary Chapman
With effective prayers he'll Change
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Olanike88(f): 12:28am On Sep 05, 2015
i'll recommend this book for you
"Things I Wish I'd Know Before We Got Married"
By Gary Chapman
With effective prayers he'll Change
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Nobody: 12:29am On Sep 05, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

You have to be bold on this, approach him without emotions (no crying or any signs of weakness), Tell him in a very controlled tone not angrily or in sorrow, that if he does not desist from his actions you will either do exactly what he is doing or you will divorce him without any regrets. if he starts getting agitated and angry, dont budge, just keep your cool, Dont even reply a word, just remain calm, the message has already been passed..... If he does not change, do exactly as you have promised, walk out on the marriage cos a man who sets out to cheat after being caught will not stop until he wrecks his own life (disease or bankruptcy), if you want to be a part of that, you can remain with him. Im a man and i know staying faithful to your woman isnt as hard as people make it appear..... Woman! Be strong....

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by 6fit(f): 12:35am On Sep 05, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

very simple...just apply "Magun"....aka Thurnderbot. Apply is on him and d rest is story

or better still, apply 50naira Otapiapia to his food...d rest is story
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by jaydee87(m): 1:01am On Sep 05, 2015
my advice is stop going tru his phone cos the more u go tru it the more u feel cheated...
reminds me of a girl that said her relationship was perfect and someone told her nobody is perfect...
pls Angie pray he changes cos its eaten deep into him.... just focus on ur children and be a better mother...
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by jpphilips(m): 1:04am On Sep 05, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

Punish him you want? just get pregnant for the security man.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by DedeNkem: 1:49am On Sep 05, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

You get what you deserved because if you didn't deserve a cheating husband you won't still be with him? If you don't want to tolerate sh*it from your husband, you won't take sh*it from him. He's a compulsive cheater and don't even think you'll change him. A cheater is always a cheater.

Make sure you document evidence of his cheating and dump his as*s in the Court. With the evidence, court will grant you full custody of the children and spit the family wealth (if family is wealthy) between you and him, and still force him to contribute financially for the welfare of the children.

If you continue staying with him, don't complain!
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Nobody: 2:09am On Sep 05, 2015
angelchinny:

Okay will do jst dat. What if I fake calls and make him jealous as well cos I told him recently dat my 1st love re-sufaced n he is realy hrtbroken dat am already married cos he came bk 4 us to rekindle our love. He got realy mad n couldn't sleep dat night
That is not an option. Don't try that because it will hurt you the more since you are faking it. Just try and protect youself. Buy condom and keep don't ask him to buy. Listen to his yearning during love making. Step up and give it to him as he would want it. Deviate from traditional style. Be naughty with him during love making. Watch pornn since you are married. There are a lot of dickkk pullers out there.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Obiwiz(m): 2:29am On Sep 05, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?
Sorry, is he okay at all? Sometimes, we need to screen people thoroughly before allowing them into our lives. Peace
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by engrshakespeare: 2:45am On Sep 05, 2015
MosakuAW:


Good, but not always good to involve 3rd party in a relationship or marriage. No matter the problem, the 2 people involved should be able to solve their personal problem. 3rd party will only add more to it. My thought thou.

U don't want 3rd party yet u sort advice on nairaland
How many parties dey nairaland?
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Allisonrichy(m): 3:06am On Sep 05, 2015
Pray that God changes his ways
It's not always easy cuz he's already addicted to it but I believe prayers can solve this issue
And make sure he uses condom before having sex with u cuz u don't know how many girls he sleeps with daily

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