angelchinny:

I undastand ur point, but my second pregnancy produced twins. Dats why I hav 3 children with 4 yrs

angelchinny:
I believe he does dat becos he knws I forgive him easily, dats why I wanna punish him

mutter:
Please instead of thinking how to punish him you should be thinking on how to save youself from this agony.
You need to focus all your energy on getting out of his mess.
It`s either he changes for the good and you have the heart to forgive him or he doesn`t.
With kid` you can`t jut get up and leave without planning it. The plans you need to make will at the same time aim you more respect and maybe even save your marriage.
So start trying to make some money of your own. Try to earn some money no matter how small. IT will give you some level of independence and be vey focused on saving. Insist now on getting into a job or biz. Get your family and his to support you. That they will probably do. Please get active. IT is very good for one to identify with something, church or an organization.
As long as you are not sure of his sexual habits abstain or insist he uses a condom.
Focus your energy on building yourself that is the best way to punish him. Punish him with success.
Sorry but that man is mean and heartless. May God touch his heart. He doen`t deserve a wife.

MISSNORA:
Sorry op... better lock up before he gives you HIV
Someone I know was in the same
predicament and hoped things would get
better. She only found out she was HIV
positive when she got pregnant. Turned out
hubby had been on ARTV for over one year.
The saddest part is that even the
secretary to her hubby also tested positive
to HIV. No need asking who the culprit was.
Be careful OP, if you're not financially
dependent on him then reject everything
from him but don't relent in your duties
except for the lock up, let him know the
reason. Tell him you're scared, you can't
have rest of mind because you don't know
the s*xual history of his other s*xual
partners so you might as well protect
yourself..... Copied from AdaNri1
MISSNORA

Vig86:

That is not an option. Don't try that because it will hurt you the more since you are faking it. Just try and protect youself. Buy condom and keep don't ask him to buy. Listen to his yearning during love making. Step up and give it to him as he would want it. Deviate from traditional style. Be naughty with him during love making. Watch pornn since you are married. There are a lot of dickkk pullers out there.

islandmoon:
i keep telling you ladies!!! pretend like you don't care, leave the kids for him to take care of , exactly what emeka Ike's wife did!

then he will seat tight, tell him you are no longer interested in the marriage as long as he has proved to be selfish! disappear for just two weeks!

i once gave a lady such advice and the selfish husband got confused immediately after bathing the kids, cooking for them and caring for them alone, he them realized life is not just about sleeping with girls around alone , Family is more important.



how ever , that approach may not work for a rich many who doesn't really love you and can afford a Nanny or house girl,

but still made emeka ike to surrender and now begging around.

raayah:


I am sorry for your situation. Its difficult to get a job these days.

Take this as a lesson. Make sure your daughters are well-educated and tell them consistently that they are worth a lot. Tell them not to marry until they get a career.

Sadly, there is nothing you can do. You have no-where or no finance to move on. I will advice you to keep looking for a Job or open a shop. Do things you love. Stop having sex with him (Be very firm here, tell him that since he keeps cheating on you, you cannot risk your health). Don't cook if you are tired. Don't wash his clothes. Move out of the Bedroom. Let him see how life is without you.

Find a friend that will take you in if he locks you out, save up some money.
Stop Caring about him. Be very indifferent. Its easier to survive this way. Educate your kids , they might help you get out of this situation in the future.

Just live life and see where it takes you.

MosakuAW:


Good, but not always good to involve 3rd party in a relationship or marriage. No matter the problem, the 2 people involved should be able to solve their personal problem. 3rd party will only add more to it. My thought thou.

angelchinny:

I undastand ur point, but my second pregnancy produced twins. Dats why I hav 3 children with 4 yrs

MISSNORA:
Sorry op... better lock up before he gives you HIV
Someone I know was in the same
predicament and hoped things would get
better. She only found out she was HIV
positive when she got pregnant. Turned out
hubby had been on ARTV for over one year.
The saddest part is that even the
secretary to her hubby also tested positive
to HIV. No need asking who the culprit was.
Be careful OP, if you're not financially
dependent on him then reject everything
from him but don't relent in your duties
except for the lock up, let him know the
reason. Tell him you're scared, you can't
have rest of mind because you don't know
the s*xual history of his other s*xual
partners so you might as well protect
yourself..... Copied from AdaNri1
MISSNORA

angelchinny:

Okay will do jst dat. What if I fake calls and make him jealous as well cos I told him recently dat my 1st love re-sufaced n he is realy hrtbroken dat am already married cos he came bk 4 us to rekindle our love. He got realy mad n couldn't sleep dat night

thelish:
UNTIL THEY GET A CAREER? So no career, no marriage. This is serious

INTROVERT:
Before you come here... go to the pastor/imam, in-laws and relations and his friends and seek advice from them.

angelchinny:
What am I going to do to save him from his friends..His following there foot steps, they r too wayward 4 my liking

angelchinny:

I would hv left him a long time ago but I jst think twice cos of two reasons
1) Cos of my children, hw I will take them along wit me
2)Cos am not working yet, I can't provide 4 myself n my children

MISSNORA:
Sorry op... better lock up before he gives you HIV
Someone I know was in the same
predicament and hoped things would get
better. She only found out she was HIV
positive when she got pregnant. Turned out
hubby had been on ARTV for over one year.
The saddest part is that even the
secretary to her hubby also tested positive
to HIV. No need asking who the culprit was.
Be careful OP, if you're not financially
dependent on him then reject everything
from him but don't relent in your duties
except for the lock up, let him know the
reason. Tell him you're scared, you can't
have rest of mind because you don't know
the s*xual history of his other s*xual
partners so you might as well protect
yourself..... Copied from AdaNri1
MISSNORA

raayah:


yes.. you should not depend on a man for money. Look at OP , she's stuck with a man who is cheating on her and treating her without respect because he knows she can't leave. She cannot survive without him.

No Career/Job.. no Marriage

sinizia:


Number 2 is the main reason you haven't left him all these years. In fact, 90% of women like you who stay back and get cheated on and emotionally abused over and over again are not financially independent, and the cheating heartless men knows this, that's why they use it to their advantage knowing that y'all have no place to go or one to hold onto. It's the sad reality. This is the reason why i'd always implore every lady to be financially dependent BEFORE getting married so if their men are cheats, they'd find it easily to work away.


Sorry dear, but until you are financially dependent, or determined to leave irrespective of your financial status, you'll keep getting emotionally abused and cheated on. The key to your happiness is divorcing him and it lies with you. Do whatever makes you happy, legally though. Cheers.

Onegai:


Next time don't tell him. Simply start looking good and enjoy a flirtation with your male friend (I said flirtation o, for now). Don't tell him who's calling and password your phone. Get a life away from him. Start saving up spare change from what he gives you and insist on using a condom. You need to build your confidence and self-esteem back. Your husband and every man out there know that no-one will advise you to leave him so his apologies are just stories to absolve himself of guilt. What will terrify him is the thought of losing you to another man. His ego will be dented. You don't need to tell him you're enjoying gist with an ex, just simply do it and watch him have sleepless nights wondering whether you go waka. A cheat is always scared that someone will do it back to them.

People will come and say "don't listen this will break your marriage", please is your marriage not already broken? he's not just cheating, he's pretending to be single. My dear, if I give you the gist of other women who were in your situation (husbands whose cheating became emotional and they were pretending to be single), you will run away in fear for your life. Those that ended up with HIV, those that almost got arrested by the family of the single girls being deceived, those that ended using their salary to pay off pregnant girls and girls who demanded the money for travel that the husbands promised them when he was pretending to be single (blackmailing the wife so she will chase the man away), those that were subjected to social media taunts when they confronted the babe privately...

thelish:
my friend used this method, and it worked. just leave d kids with him n move out for sometime.

thelish:
sorry for my curiosity, can u make love to a man ur angry with?

raayah:


yes.. you should not depend on a man for money. Look at OP , she's stuck with a man who is cheating on her and treating her without respect because he knows she can't leave. She cannot survive without him.

No Career/Job.. no Marriage

MsGlobalwonder:
pardon my ignorance, but will this be d same advice u'll dish out if it were d other way round?

Mrs0J:


If my hubby annoys me i won't bulge to his sexuall advance, but if he apologized in which the Op's case the hubby will apologize after she confronts him. She can't say No to her hubby everytime he wants to make love, that is why i advised her on insisting on using condom