Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,132 members, 7,814,952 topics. Date: Thursday, 02 May 2024 at 01:37 AM

Lessons From My Marriage - Family (10) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Lessons From My Marriage (76855 Views)

'I Left My Marriage After My Wife Sat On Me And I Fainted' - Man Reveals. Photo / I Almost Lost My Marriage Over ‘april Fool’ Prank –woman / My Marriage Has Finally Ended (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MaxGraviton: 8:05pm On Sep 20, 2015
I'll suggest you guys should just exchange genitals. So he can become the caring HOUSE WIFE that he is. . .since all he knows how to do is to complain and take care of babies. Nonsense undecided
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 8:06pm On Sep 20, 2015
kaboninc:


Loool cheesy cheesy cheesy

Where does God visits if not Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?

Very funny

am glad at least somebody see the joke I was trying to pass across. seems people are so highly strung around here.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 8:06pm On Sep 20, 2015
kaboninc:


Loool cheesy cheesy cheesy

Where does God visits if not Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?

Very funny

am glad at least somebody can see the joke I was trying to pass across. seems people are so highly strung around here.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by kaboninc(m): 8:11pm On Sep 20, 2015
francizy:


Nwanne'm nwoke, kedu ka eke si anya anwu?? cheesy

Nna....biko speak Engilish! cheesy
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by ehix89(m): 8:12pm On Sep 20, 2015
queenfav:
Kpele @op..Well I thank God I am already pretty,so I am not so big on landing a handsome man...Over the years,I have learnt to look skin deep into a man to know if he can be in my life.Who e fine face help?lol.The main focus is his attitude generally and compatibility.But sha, @op the feeding him thing before marriage is a bit too far o.That was a big red flag!A real man would not allow his girl feed him.He would take on menial jobs,meet friends sef to help.He would only ask his lady for help when his cards are all burned out.And even then he doesn't turn her into a paymaster.I drew a lot of lessons from the story sha.I can relate to the nagging part.That's a very big God forbid!That means we would be two women in the relationship na.Well, being prayerful cannot be overemphasized before getting married.Because we can't have a person all figured out,until you marry him/her.
we dnt mean beauty built on Mary Kay's foundation
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MrsChima(f): 8:26pm On Sep 20, 2015
francizy:


Muhahahahaha!!! Why did you change the bolded from "pímp" to "love-vendor"?? Oh, it was NL that did that.. grin

Yeye Femi-niece... grin

olosho cock sucker!
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MrsChima(f): 8:27pm On Sep 20, 2015
MaxGraviton:
I'll suggest you guys should just exchange genitals. So he can become the caring HOUSE WIFE that he is. . .since all he knows how to do is to complain and take care of babies. Nonsense undecided

Harsh. angry
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Emodeee: 8:33pm On Sep 20, 2015
Missmossy:

Go and sit down biko.

Really!

To marry u dey hungry me.

U luk like a wife material bt in real life u might be a tigress though.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by matingo(f): 8:47pm On Sep 20, 2015
francizy:


@bolded, Married men and the ones intending to get married nko? sad
Also to the men grin
Happy now grin

1 Like

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by queenfav(f): 9:10pm On Sep 20, 2015
ehix89:
we dnt mean beauty built on Mary Kay's foundation
very funny!
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Missmossy(f): 9:11pm On Sep 20, 2015
Emodeee:

Really!
To marry u dey hungry me.
U luk like a wife material bt in real life u might be a tigress though.
Thank you smiley
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 9:59pm On Sep 20, 2015
goldenruby:
Hmmmmm. Looks to me like there's really no rule that governs the marriage institution.
Well for me, A man's physical Beauty is absolutely irrelevant! Give me a 'gorilla-looking' man if he's got the most handsome heart and ready to lay down for his family, I'd be ready to compliment his looks
that is me,don't mind any other guy here.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Emodeee: 10:00pm On Sep 20, 2015
Missmossy:

Thank you smiley

How abt dat stuff?

Pm me
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Honesty007(m): 10:03pm On Sep 20, 2015
Its a pity.ao am so sowi ma, take heart.But i only ask you a question!

DO YOU LOVE HIM? IF U DO JUST KEEP PRAYING FOR HIM.THE REASON IS BECAUSE U R THE ONE THAT MARRIED HIM AND NOT HIM MARRYING YOU.
I REMEMBER IN INDIA,WOMEN MARRY MEN.OMG.
WELL IT COULD HV BEEN BETTER IF U HAD 1CHILD.I FEEL UR PAIN BECAUSE AM SURROUNDED BY WOMEN IN MY LIFE.THEY R MANY,XO ANYONE TALKING OF MARRIAGE MAKES ME REMEMBER ISAIAH.7 WOMEN WOULD TAKE HOLD OF ONE MAN
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Zenanted(m): 10:25pm On Sep 20, 2015
Godforbide I support your Hubby oo,How I wish he will tell his own version of the story becuz its one sided...but since he won't ,lemme just ask this question (1. Are you sure you didn't force him into marrying you (2.Did he get married to you out of His self-will or pity


I believe there is a rational explanation , make una no crucify me oo
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Turan10: 10:37pm On Sep 20, 2015
bisifoundation:
I lived a very religious life in campus, and was not in any relationship at all. After school , I met this young handsome guy in 2006. Sincerely, I felt I didn’t not merit him because he is very handsome, while I am on the average beauty wise. The only thing that attracted me to him was the look. He was an hustler and lived a low income life. Throughout our courtship of 18months, He never gave me a dime. I came from a financially buoyant famiy, I therefore saw no need in asking him for anything, rather I was feeding him with three square meal. We got wedded in the year 2007, and I gave him the flower of my womanhood (virginity) but I was not really excited for just no reason.

My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.

I got a job before he did, but one thing I discover is that my husband spends his money without thinking about tomorrow and always depend on my salary to survive the family. In 2008, I gave birth to a set of triplet, and had to quit work to nurse my angels. He was very supportive then. He provided for all our needs and life was good. In 2012, my husband lost his job, I had to take over the family expenses again. I was running a masters degree program, doing many businesses, and still raising kids. I travelled every week in a bid to keep the family running. Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing through, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.

This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep. Every biz you introduce to my husband is downgrading to him. I am currently on my PHd degree, I am nursing a set of triplet, and still work hard to survive my family.

It is now that I realize that I married my husband because of his handsomeness, and that he is mentally very shallow. My husband thinks like a child and has virtually no plan for his family.

My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks (handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up.

Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.

To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision.




Who fine boy don help? Lol....Oshiomole 2015
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MaxGraviton: 10:44pm On Sep 20, 2015
MrsChima:


Harsh. angry

Oops ! I'm sorry.
I'll write him an apology letter right away. . .


LETTER OF APOLOGY
Dear Mr. "Op's husband" I sincerely apologise for my earlier post to you, my fellow Nairalander just pointed out to me, that I wasn't harsh enough on you. I promise to be cruel next time, Wish you all the strength you need in life, especially when your children grow up and start beating you up on daily basis.
With Love
Graviton
.
.
.
Pls tell me how Kindhearted I am now. undecided
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MaxGraviton: 10:57pm On Sep 20, 2015
Zenanted:
Godforbide I support your Hubby oo,How I wish he will tell his own version of the story becuz its one sided...but since he won't ,lemme just ask this question (1. Are you sure you didn't force him into marrying you (2.Did he get married to you out of His self-will or pity


I believe there is a rational explanation , make una no crucify me oo


Force a guy into marriage? I've not seen one before.
Especially if the lady wasn't pregnant before marriage.
Bros, whether the story is 1-sided, or 20-sided, the koko be say, the Bush Man siddon for house, him pikins dey go school, and his wife+father-in-law are paying their fees. . . tomorrow when they become Celebrities, he go wan carry him bicycle seat head go take selfie, if I hear say I no pieces the camera for him head. Diot!
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by tpiander: 10:58pm On Sep 20, 2015
I guess the op's "husband" doesnt do full body massage as explained here:


https://www.nairaland.com/2402182/guys-should-learn-how-full#38214285
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by greenalwaz: 11:32pm On Sep 20, 2015
bisifoundation:
I lived a very religious life in campus, and was not in any relationship at all. After school , I met this young handsome guy in 2006. Sincerely, I felt I didn’t not merit him because he is very handsome, while I am on the average beauty wise. The only thing that attracted me to him was the look. He was an hustler and lived a low income life. Throughout our courtship of 18months, He never gave me a dime. I came from a financially buoyant famiy, I therefore saw no need in asking him for anything, rather I was feeding him with three square meal. We got wedded in the year 2007, and I gave him the flower of my womanhood (virginity) but I was not really excited for just no reason.

My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.

I got a job before he did, but one thing I discover is that my husband spends his money without thinking about tomorrow and always depend on my salary to survive the family. In 2008, I gave birth to a set of triplet, and had to quit work to nurse my angels. He was very supportive then. He provided for all our needs and life was good. In 2012, my husband lost his job, I had to take over the family expenses again. I was running a masters degree program, doing many businesses, and still raising kids. I travelled every week in a bid to keep the family running. Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing through, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.

This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep. Every biz you introduce to my husband is downgrading to him. I am currently on my PHd degree, I am nursing a set of triplet, and still work hard to survive my family.

It is now that I realize that I married my husband because of his handsomeness, and that he is mentally very shallow. My husband thinks like a child and has virtually no plan for his family.

My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks (handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up.

Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.

To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision.
lesson learnt
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by jaydude(f): 12:24am On Sep 21, 2015
Generalk007:
mi sister u better b tnkful to ur God because many women outdere were prayin to God for dem to v a man dt wil stay wt dem to b called mi husbnd dnt care abt money .glorify God for ur lyf n train ur kids

I can't imagine I'm hearing this for this 21st century? I would have said more if only I knew your sex
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Richardonald(m): 12:27am On Sep 21, 2015
judedwriter:
Hmmm...dis marriage thing sef...It is a complex relationship. My heart goes out to all women who are taken advantaged by lazy men who Shamelessly feed fat on their women's wealth without contributing nothing. HOWEVER; LOVE is the foundation of marriage! Women, don't marry a man you don't love no matter how much he begs you-because your love for him is going to be tested seriouisly when u wed. If a woman truly loves a man, she will be willing to endure with him no matter the storm and see they cross the storm. Not d kind of bread and buitter marriages we got today where women marry men for funny reasons. How can the OP marry a man just for his looks its is laughable grin
but dnt blame them many galz fall in love 4 man looks..nt minimum but maximum
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Richardonald(m): 12:35am On Sep 21, 2015
bisifoundation:
I lived a very religious life in campus, and was not in any relationship at all. After school , I met this young handsome guy in 2006. Sincerely, I felt I didn’t not merit him because he is very handsome, while I am on the average beauty wise. The only thing that attracted me to him was the look. He was an hustler and lived a low income life. Throughout our courtship of 18months, He never gave me a dime. I came from a financially buoyant famiy, I therefore saw no need in asking him for anything, rather I was feeding him with three square meal. We got wedded in the year 2007, and I gave him the flower of my womanhood (virginity) but I was not really excited for just no reason.

My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.

I got a job before he did, but one thing I discover is that my husband spends his money without thinking about tomorrow and always depend on my salary to survive the family. In 2008, I gave birth to a set of triplet, and had to quit work to nurse my angels. He was very supportive then. He provided for all our needs and life was good. In 2012, my husband lost his job, I had to take over the family expenses again. I was running a masters degree program, doing many businesses, and still raising kids. I travelled every week in a bid to keep the family running. Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing through, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.

This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep. Every biz you introduce to my husband is downgrading to him. I am currently on my PHd degree, I am nursing a set of triplet, and still work hard to survive my family.

It is now that I realize that I married my husband because of his handsomeness, and that he is mentally very shallow. My husband thinks like a child and has virtually no plan for his family.

My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks (handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up.

Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.

To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision.
just say d truth u forced him 2 marry bcuz he is fine..relevant 2 ladiez outa there sayin man beauty is this and that when it land now they wil start pusuein d innocent guy diein 4 them...cuming here and write trash
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by AreaFada2: 5:07am On Sep 21, 2015
This life is ironic o.

See serious dream wife material go marry fyn boy without plan. And as a virgin too. shocked

And many wonderful men fall for one chance ladies, chai!

Love and all that are crucial. But love & family have to be sustained with hardwork & money.

Never marry a spouse that does not share, understand or support your dreams.

He sees OP as omo baba olowo. Daddy can always come to the rescue.

OP for now just focus on your life, kids & education (you dey try sha).

Your man's background is playing a role. He comes from a struggling, day-to-day life background. You came from an organised and aspirational family. Big difference.

In a university environment, the illusion that all are same may persist. But we have largely been "formed" and set in our ways before coming to university.

Lots of people marry for the "wrong" reasons. That greatly increases the chances of couples later growing apart.

Hopefully your man will rediscover himself as a husband and father that should provide, nurture and support.
Put it in prayer.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 6:13am On Sep 21, 2015
MrsChima:


You be worwor?

Funny enough, my name is chima and your name is mrs chima. Do you think that chimas are ugly?
Check my facebook account madam, the name is onyebuchi chima udorego

1 Like

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by 5minsmadness: 6:58am On Sep 21, 2015
freecocoa:
Okay then, good luck in your quest.smiley
Thanks.
Onward ho! grin

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by jabojafa(m): 7:45am On Sep 21, 2015
Aitee1:

Yours tongue
if i hear amshocked
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by PonmileMistress(f): 7:54am On Sep 21, 2015
The[color=#006600][/color]
To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision.[/quote]

They ll nor share with us... When most of them have bragged about the kinda husband they have and insulted other's relationship.. Shame n regret ll not allow them share their experience(s).
Thank you for the brief...
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by 5minsmadness: 7:54am On Sep 21, 2015
Toks2008:



Hmmm,my lady i must confess that im indeed touched by your story and i can relate with every bit of it having been part of that institution called marriage.

Now i would like you to calm down and read my advice deeply

Woman first and foremost you must realize that there is nothing like a good ore bad choice of spouse but what we have is your choice and when you make that choice you must be prepared for any form of eventualities such as this.

A million years of courtship does not guaranty that the caring guy while dating will turn cold and just as you wrote up there,he was caring at a time asides from the nagging aspect which is a defect and trust me everyone has a defect including you and i.

I will not use the word unfortunately rather i will say fortunately for you the case is not the one that has to do with him sleeping around or beating you up which is a good ground for divorce so in this case please throw the taught of divorce outside the window.

Yes their are some businesses that are degrading fore a graduate no matter how profitable they may seem and there are some businesses that can totally divert the aspiration of a man so the fact that he knows the type of business or job he wants is not a bad thing but the bad side of it is not doing enough to actualize the business or job he desires.

Dear sis,you made no mistake in choosing a spouse,not at all, you simply followed your heart and you must know that every marriage is like a black market and no matter how sweet the courtship may look and no matter how caring sweet,romantic the man or woman can be,people do change and i know what i am talking about.

Your husband is not really lazy as you think,not every one of us has the hustling spirit and some of us would rather do a 40k monthly job and grow old with it while some of us will rather look for a poo business that makes huge monthly take home.

In conclusion dear,this is a cross you have to bear.Pray to GOD to provide him a job,be good to him, encourage him and trust me his heart will melt towards you.

With prayers i believe GOD will provide a way out and he will get back to his feet. Better still,sit him down and ask him what he would like to do because every man out there have a plan but the problem is not having enough financial power to actualize it.

If you can help him invest once again into a good business of his choice and i believe that most men usually become a shadow of themselves when they are in financial lack so relax, you have no issue at all. Just tune your mind to be happy and i must congratulate you for the wonderful gift GOD gave to you through this same man.

The best way to be happy in any marriage especially when you have children is to focus on the children and yourself and ignore the man if he is a philanderer but in this case,he only seem to appear to you as lazy but trust me, you just might be wrong,every man has his dream career,business or job. So help him actualize it by encouraging and praying for him and with GOD all things are possible.

GOD BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE.

Cc bisifoundation
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by tolulope0(m): 7:59am On Sep 21, 2015
Don't give up my sister, talk to him and pray to God, things will get better.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 8:23am On Sep 21, 2015
kaboninc:


Nna....biko speak Engilish! cheesy

Amaghi'm asu oyibo... cheesy
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 8:25am On Sep 21, 2015
MrsChima:


olosho cock sucker!

And you're the olosho right?

(1) (2) (3) ... (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (Reply)

Woman Married To Dead Man For 5 Years - The Sun (Photo) / Is It Okay To Give Babies All These Peak, Nido, Dano Kind Of Milk From 9months? / "My Husband Sleeps With My 16-Year-Old Sister, Impregnated Her & Aborted": Woman

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 86
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.