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Lessons From My Marriage - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Berrylite: 12:19pm On Sep 20, 2015
Hmmmm
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 12:19pm On Sep 20, 2015
Interesting.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Fernandowski(m): 12:19pm On Sep 20, 2015
Na handsome face u go chop??
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by walemoney007(m): 12:21pm On Sep 20, 2015
K
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by edwife(f): 12:21pm On Sep 20, 2015
MoltenMagma:

Sometimes, infact most times your fingers run faster than your brain.

If you don't understand what the op wants then read the post again and stop the crap.

gringrin

3 Likes

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Dragonking: 12:22pm On Sep 20, 2015
Super story!
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by HopeAlive14(m): 12:22pm On Sep 20, 2015
Love covers multitude of sins..

Let Love Lead!

1 Like

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by edwife(f): 12:23pm On Sep 20, 2015
Kimoni:
Not sure I can blame your husband here.

You were feeding him 3 square meals before marriage shocked shocked After marriage, he would squander your money and depend on yours for survival. Till date, you are 100% responsible for the family upkeep.

So what has changed? Why should he suddenly change from the norm? Or why are you suddenly expecting something different?

I honestly don't get. Anyways, you've learnt your lesson, pass it on to your kids.

#Neverbeanenabler

Good one!

I also don't get this post.It is rather too late for her or maybe she is trying to teach the younger ones not to follow her footsteps.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by mhizzpatra(f): 12:23pm On Sep 20, 2015
Too bad... I can't live that kind of life.. Even if the love is still dere.. U have to do sth to bring out the man in him..

1 Like

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 12:24pm On Sep 20, 2015
That is me, i am a gorilla grin grin grin grin and hardworking
goldenruby:
Hmmmmm. Looks to me like there's really no rule that governs the marriage institution.
Well for me, A man's physical Beauty is absolutely irrelevant! Give me a 'gorilla-looking' man if he's got the most handsome heart and ready to lay down for his family, I'd be ready to compliment his looks
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by ronald4lif(m): 12:26pm On Sep 20, 2015
Some guys no get shame sha. I wonder how it will feel like depending a woman for livelihood. I'd rather starve or push barrow if it comes to that than depend on a woman, wife or not. Geez!

7 Likes

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Eldorado01(m): 12:26pm On Sep 20, 2015
hmm
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by kuljayms1(m): 12:26pm On Sep 20, 2015
thorpido:
Handsomeness is one of the least reasons to marry a man.You have definitely learnt that by now.
Unfortunately,there are still many young girls who make decisions on who to marry by these poor reasons.
Tell them o.. Girls b lykin mundane tins since garden of eden
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 12:27pm On Sep 20, 2015
bisifoundation:
I lived a very religious life in campus, and was not in any relationship at all. After school , I met this young handsome guy in 2006. Sincerely, I felt I didn’t not merit him because he is very handsome, while I am on the average beauty wise. The only thing that attracted me to him was the look. He was an hustler and lived a low income life. Throughout our courtship of 18months, He never gave me a dime. I came from a financially buoyant famiy, I therefore saw no need in asking him for anything, rather I was feeding him with three square meal. We got wedded in the year 2007, and I gave him the flower of my womanhood (virginity) but I was not really excited for just no reason.

My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.

I got a job before he did, but one thing I discover is that my husband spends his money without thinking about tomorrow and always depend on my salary to survive the family. In 2008, I gave birth to a set of triplet, and had to quit work to nurse my angels. He was very supportive then. He provided for all our needs and life was good. In 2012, my husband lost his job, I had to take over the family expenses again. I was running a masters degree program, doing many businesses, and still raising kids. I travelled every week in a bid to keep the family running. Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing through, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.

This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep. Every biz you introduce to my husband is downgrading to him. I am currently on my PHd degree, I am nursing a set of triplet, and still work hard to survive my family.

It is now that I realize that I married my husband because of his handsomeness, and that he is mentally very shallow. My husband thinks like a child and has virtually no plan for his family.

My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks (handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up.

Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.

To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision.

How does posting this on Nairaland help your marriage weather the storm? instead of you to post your problems to God you are posting it here, were you told that God visits Nairaland ni?

4 Likes

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by maestroz: 12:27pm On Sep 20, 2015
dis write up just gives hope to worwor nairalanders

2 Likes

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by freecocoa(f): 12:30pm On Sep 20, 2015
I'm still marrying a handsome man though.cheesy

Seriously though, who marries a person simply because of looks? Looks can be the attracting factor but c'mon, he/she has to have something upstairs.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 12:31pm On Sep 20, 2015
1. He was handsome.
2. It is PhD not PHd
3. Is he still handsome after 8years?
4. Do you plan on increasing the family size beyond 5pax.
5. Employ a maid at home so that your husband can get another job. Try this. It would work.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Richy4(m): 12:31pm On Sep 20, 2015
Op you were not looking after three kids. They are four.

And the fourth one hmmmmm. .... lord have mercy.. undecided

2 Likes

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by omisakint: 12:33pm On Sep 20, 2015
Ioannes:


How does posting this on Nairaland help your marriage weather the storm? instead of you to post your problems to God you are posting it here, were you told that God visits Nairaland ni?


She didn't post her problem on nairaland... Rather it was an advise.. Can't you read and understand?

17 Likes

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by omodayomi(f): 12:33pm On Sep 20, 2015
GOOD ONE, MY FRIEND YOU HAVE TRIED BUT PRAY TO GOD TO CHANGE HIS HEART, AM SURE HE WILL TURN A NEW LEAVE.
KEEP IT UP, SO MANY ARE IN YOUR SHOE BUT IT A MATTER OF TIME.
cool
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Yeeyo: 12:34pm On Sep 20, 2015
goldenruby:
Hmmmmm. Looks to me like there's really no rule that governs the marriage institution.
Well for me, A man's physical Beauty is absolutely irrelevant! Give me a 'gorilla-looking' man if he's got the most handsome heart and ready to lay down for his family, I'd be ready to compliment his looks
. Lady u ar jst talkin.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by marked10(m): 12:34pm On Sep 20, 2015
mmmm
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Xbee007(m): 12:35pm On Sep 20, 2015
Visit this thread to keep informed about the current onslaught against Boko Haram.
www.nairaland.com/2239266/battle-field-discussion-picture-video
I am 100% sure you would love it. It was created by Bidexii and has been on for quiet sometime.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by humbleLad(m): 12:35pm On Sep 20, 2015
Take heart dear.. If nobody will God will reward you. Don't look it from dat perperstive, just take it in such a way dat ur like a caddle dat shine in d darkness of this life... Dat such a profund act

1 Like

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by anselm791(m): 12:39pm On Sep 20, 2015
Oh trust me, this generation is a lot wiser now, they practically worship money.

1 Like

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Godmother(f): 12:40pm On Sep 20, 2015
raayah:


Madam just keep living! It will get easier. Your children will grow and take care of you.
You are working, taking care of triplets and doing a p.h.d?? You are super woman !

It will get better!


You are not a Lazy woman. A good man will be appreciate you!

This is a good advice but biko OP dont take it o, look for alternatives. Your kids are just four, how many more years before they start taking care of you? Which means you will continue to be 100% responsible for the family upkeep for at least 15 more years.
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by nayoubiko: 12:42pm On Sep 20, 2015
PLEASE DON'T TRY AND GO OUT OF THE MARRIAGE, I BELIEVE THINGS WILL BE OK, WHAT EVER IS HAPPENING GOD KNOW TO IT, BELIEVE ME BOTH OF YOU ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER IF NOT GOD WILL NOT BLESS YOU WITH A SECT OF TRIPLET.

MY ADVISE FOR YOU, IS TO KEEP PRAYING FOR HIM, TELL GOD TO PROVIDE A GOOD JOB OR BUSINESS THAT WILL MAKE HIM DO AS HUSBAND IN YOUR HOME.

YOUR PRAYERS IS VERY IMPORTANT IN HIS LIFE RIGHT NOW.

1 Like

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Rutycool(f): 12:42pm On Sep 20, 2015
Ooops lazy men sucks... And they nag like die, they can't do a bit out of what they want others 2 do for them
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by judedwriter(m): 12:43pm On Sep 20, 2015
Hmmm...dis marriage thing sef...It is a complex relationship. My heart goes out to all women who are taken advantaged by lazy men who Shamelessly feed fat on their women's wealth without contributing nothing. HOWEVER; LOVE is the foundation of marriage! Women, don't marry a man you don't love no matter how much he begs you-because your love for him is going to be tested seriouisly when u wed. If a woman truly loves a man, she will be willing to endure with him no matter the storm and see they cross the storm. Not d kind of bread and buitter marriages we got today where women marry men for funny reasons. How can the OP marry a man just for his looks its is laughable grin

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MadCow1: 12:43pm On Sep 20, 2015
bisifoundation:
I lived a very religious life in campus, and was not in any relationship at all. After school , I met this young handsome guy in 2006. Sincerely, I felt I didn’t not merit him because he is very handsome, while I am on the average beauty wise. The only thing that attracted me to him was the look. He was an hustler and lived a low income life. Throughout our courtship of 18months, He never gave me a dime. I came from a financially buoyant famiy, I therefore saw no need in asking him for anything, rather I was feeding him with three square meal. We got wedded in the year 2007, and I gave him the flower of my womanhood (virginity) but I was not really excited for just no reason.

My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.

I got a job before he did, but one thing I discover is that my husband spends his money without thinking about tomorrow and always depend on my salary to survive the family. In 2008, I gave birth to a set of triplet, and had to quit work to nurse my angels. He was very supportive then. He provided for all our needs and life was good. In 2012, my husband lost his job, I had to take over the family expenses again. I was running a masters degree program, doing many businesses, and still raising kids. I travelled every week in a bid to keep the family running. Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing through, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.

This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep. Every biz you introduce to my husband is downgrading to him. I am currently on my PHd degree, I am nursing a set of triplet, and still work hard to survive my family.

It is now that I realize that I married my husband because of his handsomeness, and that he is mentally very shallow. My husband thinks like a child and has virtually no plan for his family.

My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks (handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up.

Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.

To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision.


Wow...
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Mintayo(m): 12:45pm On Sep 20, 2015
edwife:


Good one!

I also don't get this post.It is rather too late for her or maybe she is trying to teach the younger ones not to follow her footsteps.
I don't get it too! Its like the op has given up or something? She has accepted it as her fate. embarassed

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