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Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by ruffhandu: 11:58am On Sep 21, 2015
Georgekyrian:
,.
Naija mentality..

Na so. Cannot be ruled out until proven non-existent.
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by CandyBar: 11:59am On Sep 21, 2015
It's better to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage.

If he chooses to go ahead, grace and guardiance to him, if he chooses to break it off, he should do it when she can't come back.......and also have plans to change place of residence.

If she requires subduing when angry......no one may be there to save him ooo.
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:00pm On Sep 21, 2015
A lot of people say its not an issue but then I think its an issue..
Lies, deception everywhere..
Its a medical condition that can be managed
They are already planning marriage, so
1. why didn't the babe let him know about the condition.
2. Not even a family member told him during/after introduction.
3. How bad is the condition and how far can she go or has she gone in that state.
4. Since they are miles apart he might not get to know the details about the condition.
I would advice the guy not to go ahead.. He might have too much of a shock that might be a huge blow on the marriage.

If she didn't see it as an issue she shouldn't have hidden it for this long

5 Likes

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:07pm On Sep 21, 2015
Antoinne:
It's bipolar guys, not schizo. Christ! I've been diagnosed with bipolar myself and I'm yet to die.

Yes its bipolar but I guess it will be fair enough to tell a prospective spouse about a medical condition that they might have to cope with for the rest of their lives..

1 Like

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by obi123: 12:07pm On Sep 21, 2015
i want to believe that your friend is educated and has access to internet , first of all he should find out as much as possible all he can to understand this condition because the more he knows about it , the better , then he can make an informed decision about where he wants to take things- go ahead or back out.

Then he can proceed to have a chat with his lady friend, it wont be an easy conversation , he needs to be very sensitive and sympathetic , a lot of people are bi-polar and dont even know it at least she knows and is getting treatment, although i have to say it would have been good for her to mention it earlier but i cant blame her its not the easiest topic to discuss in a relationship having said that he must get her to talk about her condition.

whatever he decides he shouldn't marry out of pity, it wont be fair to her, its okay to back out.

Anybody can be ill even your friend, we all must have a cross, whether now or later , we must have a cross

1 Like

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by urchman23: 12:08pm On Sep 21, 2015
Pls. My brother I'm telling you this per experience .stay away from her.she will kill you,metal swig come as often possible. Medication like lithium is believe to control the behavior and adequate blood work need to be done all the time to check the therapeutic level.And if you intend to have kids with her there's every possibility that your kids might be infected by this disorder.
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by haryomikun(m): 12:09pm On Sep 21, 2015
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Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:10pm On Sep 21, 2015
kennyman2000:
Hmmm.. Just afraid of the guy life.. What if she gets violence and stab him one day..
Lol. Have you watched Side Effects? An American movie. Although it was later found that it had all been a pretense, so as to get the guy's money. Husband was Channing Tatum.
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:12pm On Sep 21, 2015
favoured234:
A lot of people say its not an issue but then I think its an issue..
Lies, deception everywhere..
Its a medical condition that can be managed
They are already planning marriage, so
1. why didn't the babe let him know about the condition.
2. Not even a family member told him during/after introduction.
3. How bad is the condition and how far can she go or has she gone in that state.
4. Since they are miles apart he might not get to know the details about the condition.
I would advice the guy not to go ahead.. He might have too much of a shock that might be a huge blow on the marriage.

If she didn't see it as an issue she shouldn't have hidden it for this long
exactly the first question I asked him? He said she was diagnosed with it recently about 8months ago, but since they are miles apart he just got to know about it.
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Ayaerin1: 12:13pm On Sep 21, 2015
The condition is treatable,seek psychiatrist's attention though with her consent sha o
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by MrBLING(m): 12:15pm On Sep 21, 2015
The fact that the medications are used to treat persons with bipolar disorder does not mean she has bipolar disorder. Those pills are used to treat other mental and non-mental conditions.

Besides mental illness on its own does not significantly make people more violent than the general population.

Reading through the post it looks like she has borderline personality disorder. Your friend can google it.
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:22pm On Sep 21, 2015
You haven't stayed with long enough that's why you still looking for advice.
I dated a bi-polar girl and I won't give you a long epistle,I'd cut it short.
Suspend whatever marriage plans you have with her,bi-polar people are suicidal,she could kill you and kill herself. If you feel you can take the risk tor. Hail fela,sani abacha and the rest for me.

2 Likes

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:25pm On Sep 21, 2015
luchy34:
exactly the first question I asked him? He said she was diagnosed with it recently about 8months ago, but since they are miles apart he just got to know about it.

To me any medical condition that is manageable is not an issue.

The issue now is that the guy found out on his own... 0 trust... 8 months is enough time to let him know
He should ask her a lot of questions and hope she will be truthful
then decide what to do about it

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Edusouls(m): 12:26pm On Sep 21, 2015
DICKtator:
So what is the biggy if she is bi-polar?

At least she knows that she has a "challenge" and is seeking solution to it

70% of Nigerians are sick and suffer from various disorders they don't even know about.
From Multiple personality disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder so what are you saying?

A lot of mad people are roaming the streets,if you don't believe me,drive round Lagos and observe the cocaine sniffing bus drivers and you wouldn't be a doubting Thomas anymore!.

Visit clubs and see for yourself what is going down

A country where someone allegedly steals billions and seemingly gets away with it? Even gets chieftaincy title?

No. I ain't sanctimonious but lets call a spade a spade!!!




grin grin grin grin
my brother u have said it all...
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by viktor01(m): 12:30pm On Sep 21, 2015
menix:
Nah this kind thing make me slap an Army Sergeant before the nxt event woke mi up..

How can u be asking for advice wen u ve discovered that ur to be wife is amongst those classified "Many re mad but few are roaming".

Abeg marry am, then go market square go marry anoda mad woman..

Tomorrow u will come and tell us ur kid killed you nd took ur heart as souvenir..

shocked shocked shocked shocked hahahahahaahaha

1 Like

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:32pm On Sep 21, 2015
I know a guy.... my cousin... this guy...

He would disappear only to reappear when the lady has given up on marrying him.

Well, since you said he has done introduction. Hmm, he should delay the wedding for a start, at least until he has a better reason to leave her. Perhaps, he would love her enough to agree on another date.

perhaps...
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:34pm On Sep 21, 2015
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:38pm On Sep 21, 2015
Your friend should just make sure she takes her medication or he'll be in deep doo-doo. I heard the mania intensifies without proper dosage, leading to full-blown psychosis. One more thing, sometimes they require an increase here & a decrease there in order for them to function normally because I guess after a while, their disorder becomes immune to the same dosage. Their dosage never stays the same & need several changes throughout their lifetime from what I've read, which could be a bit risky imo, because you might not know when they need to be "upped". Plus I heard Bipolar never goes alone, it's always accompanied by other unstable disorders- making the person a double or triple threat. I'd be very wary.
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by viktor01(m): 12:41pm On Sep 21, 2015
hmmmm. Have you thought of what could happen if she catches you hugging any of those your beautiful cousins?
NA FOR HOSPITAL YOU GO TELL HER SAY NA YOUR COUSIN AND THAT IS IF AND ONLY IF YOU STILL HAPPEN TO HAVE YOUR VOICE INTACT.
This is a life contract o, love fades with time and so does tolerance.
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Filashade(f): 12:45pm On Sep 21, 2015
hmmmm my cousin has this disorder and she takes her medicine and she only gets angry she doesnt get violent.

Its good you know she has it rather than find out when u get married.

The illness is manageable just make sure she takes her medicine.

If you dont want to deal with this pls leave her and let a true man marry her.

Ur friend says he loves her but i dnt think he doesnt.

Pls tell him to quit it. She deserves better. She didnt ask to be that way.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 12:57pm On Sep 21, 2015
MrBLING:
The fact that the medications are used to treat persons with bipolar disorder does not mean she has bipolar disorder. Those pills are used to treat other mental and non-mental conditions.

Besides mental illness on its own does not significantly make people more violent than the general population.

Reading through the post it looks like she has borderline personality disorder. Your friend can google it.


But they're more prone to violence than the average person. Most prolific serial killers suffered from these disorders because one concurrent symptom in the majority of them is the inability to feel remorse for their actions, no matter how dangerous. They always justify everything they do. Btw, for this guy's friend's sake, I hope it's not borderline personality because they're known for turning violent in a flash. Unlike with Bipolar, Borderlines are ALWAYS pissed off & can rage over the slightest "provocation"eg. You're breathing too loud & are irritating them etc.

A good case study on Borderline is Jodi Arias. The woman who butchered & shot her boyfriend in cold blood. She was later diagnosed with Borderline in prison.

1 Like

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 1:03pm On Sep 21, 2015
luchy34:
A close friend of mine discussed this issue over the weekend. He said he needs an urgent advice so I decided to bring it up here. This is his story.
Michael (not real name). 28 years has been in a relationship with this girl for four years. According to him they are actually planning to get married next year. The girl in question resides in the states (united states) and she's working and also schooling there. But every year she spends her holidays down here in Nigeria, it was during one of her holidays that Michael met her. To cut a love story short they both fell in love, so much in love that the decided to take there relationship to the next level. Michael is a banker and he wants to settle down with this girl. According to him he has done a formal introduction to the girls parents and the agreed to accept him as their in-law. They have even fixed there wedding sometime next year after his fiancee graduation. Now he has a serious problem, during her last visit to Nigeria last month Michael noticed something different in her. He said that she suffers from chronic mood swings and sometimes extremely depressed. At first he wasn't bothered because he said that when they started dating initially he saw those traits in her but waved it off as her normal behaviour And he also said that it only happens to her whenever she's angry or the have a little bit of quarrel. But this her last visit revealed otherwise. This time according to him she gets a bit violent and needs a powerful subduing before she calms down. Then to his greatest shocker he noticed some pills she takes, when he went online to search what those pills are for he discovered it was for patients with Bi polar disorder...
Now my friend is really confused he doesn't know what to do. He truly loves this girl but he's afraid of her behaviour and since they're planning to get married there's no going back. What suitable advice can we give him because this is serious. embarassed

Mods abeg front page...
Bipolar is nt a mental issue angry
the girl is really fine
Do u kno ow it feels to live wit bi polar all ur life
cry cry cry cry
It has no cure
Please op tel him nt to leave her
she needs love
And care
If everyone keeps abandoning all dose who needs help wat den is called love?
Most of d wicked females we av who pours acid on people stab nd all are nt even bipolar yet dey are evil
A bipolar girl will never hurt u physically she is even tinkin of committing sucide each day cos she doesnt tink like every oda person
She is on her own world she finds it hard to even pronounce words nd spell well cry cry cry cry
She has loss of memory she is constantly avin a crios headache 24/7 wen ever she is agressive its nt cos she chose to she feels she cud really av sumone to hear out her inner pain
Bipolar patients deserves love nd nothing more cos we wudnt hurt a fly cry cry cry cry

1 Like

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by kpolli(m): 1:12pm On Sep 21, 2015
luchy34:
A close friend of mine discussed this issue over the weekend. He said he needs an urgent advice so I decided to bring it up here. This is his story.
Michael (not real name). 28 years has been in a relationship with this girl for four years. According to him they are actually planning to get married next year. The girl in question resides in the states (united states) and she's working and also schooling there. But every year she spends her holidays down here in Nigeria, it was during one of her holidays that Michael met her. To cut a love story short they both fell in love, so much in love that the decided to take there relationship to the next level. Michael is a banker and he wants to settle down with this girl. According to him he has done a formal introduction to the girls parents and the agreed to accept him as their in-law. They have even fixed there wedding sometime next year after his fiancee graduation. Now he has a serious problem, during her last visit to Nigeria last month Michael noticed something different in her. He said that she suffers from chronic mood swings and sometimes extremely depressed. At first he wasn't bothered because he said that when they started dating initially he saw those traits in her but waved it off as her normal behaviour And he also said that it only happens to her whenever she's angry or the have a little bit of quarrel. But this her last visit revealed otherwise. This time according to him she gets a bit violent and needs a powerful subduing before she calms down. Then to his greatest shocker he noticed some pills she takes, when he went online to search what those pills are for he discovered it was for patients with Bi polar disorder...
Now my friend is really confused he doesn't know what to do. He truly loves this girl but he's afraid of her behaviour and since they're planning to get married there's no going back. What suitable advice can we give him because this is serious. embarassed

Mods abeg front page...

Question number one, did she inform him about this?
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by delors(m): 1:13pm On Sep 21, 2015
It is manageable but very risky. One night, after a poor sexual performance ( which sometimes happens in marriages) , she could push a knife into your chest while u sleep and only come back to her senses after u r almost dead.
If she nor her folks didnt tell u about this disorder before the introduction, then there's a reason they hid it from u.
Love is blind and stupid though, but if you marry her, you are the type the life insurance guys call 'high risk'. Death or several impairment could come anytime, anywhere, anyhow because of your partner's disorder, especially if she's on the borderline.
On the flip side, this disorder can be managed but cannot be cured. The medication are suppressants and work for a few hours, then she regains her sanity but there's no telling when the mood swings will set in. 'Baddest' is, just anything, from the most ridiculous to the least expected, can trigger off her swings. It could like
- 'oh shoot! The guy's smile is cuter than my hubby 's.
- my car windshield wiper makes a squeaky noise
- I hate predictive texts on phones
- my hubby didn't look at my new nails this morning
- these pillows are too soft
- etc
And I almost forgot, Nigerian air time service providers can also add to the triggers. smiley

Now that I v tried to reveal the risks of going further in your relationship, the balls are in your testicles...sorry...court.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Truth234(m): 1:13pm On Sep 21, 2015
favoured234:
A lot of people say its not an issue but then I think its an issue..
Lies, deception everywhere..
Its a medical condition that can be managed
They are already planning marriage, so
1. why didn't the babe let him know about the condition.
2. Not even a family member told him during/after introduction.
3. How bad is the condition and how far can she go or has she gone in that state.
4. Since they are miles apart he might not get to know the details about the condition.
I would advice the guy not to go ahead.. He might have too much of a shock that might be a huge blow on the marriage.

If she didn't see it as an issue she shouldn't have hidden it for this long

No scatter their family o, its a manageable situation
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Faraidi(m): 1:14pm On Sep 21, 2015
saintkash:
since its a medical situation I ll advice thr both work together towards making her better but if its a case dat cannot be treated or that will be permanent. .. my advice to ur friend is dat he should pull over or even sef.. back out cos INTRODUCTION NO BE MARRIAGE.
For ur information mental illness is hereditery
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by delors(m): 1:15pm On Sep 21, 2015
halfrica:

Bipolar is nt a mental issue angry
the girl is really fine
Do u kno ow it feels to live wit bi polar all ur life
cry cry cry cry
It has no cure
Please op tel him nt to leave her
she needs love
And care
If everyone keeps abandoning all dose who needs help wat den is called love?
Most of d wicked females we av who pours acid on people stab nd all are nt even bipolar yet dey are evil
A bipolar girl will never hurt u physically she is even tinkin of committing sucide each day cos she doesnt tink like every oda person
She is on her own world she finds it hard to even pronounce words nd spell well cry cry cry cry
She has loss of memory she is constantly avin a crios headache 24/7 wen ever she is agressive its nt cos she chose to she feels she cud really av sumone to hear out her inner pain
Bipolar patients deserves love nd nothing more cos we wudnt hurt a fly cry cry cry cry

Wow! Do u v the disorder?
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 1:19pm On Sep 21, 2015
delors:


Wow! Do u v the disorder?


lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 1:21pm On Sep 21, 2015
Truth234:


No scatter their family o, its a manageable situation
Where you from come out ?
No doubt it is manageable so why is she hiding it?
What else is she hiding?

1 Like

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by PastorAji(m): 1:21pm On Sep 21, 2015
Tell your friend not to forget in a hurry OSCAR PISTORIUS

1 Like

Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 1:22pm On Sep 21, 2015
PunkyVeer:


But they're more prone to violence than the average person. „Most prolific serial killers suffered from these disorders because one concurrent symptom in the majority of them is the inability to feel remorse for their actions, no matter how dangerou They always justify everything they do. Btw, for this guy's friend's sake, I hope it's not borderline personality because they're known for turning violent in a flash. Unlike with Bipolar, Borderlines are ALWAYS pissed off & can rage over the slightest "provocation"eg. You're breathing too loud etc.

A good case study on Borderline is Jodi Arias. The woman who butchered & shot her boyfriend in cold blood. She was later diagnosed with Borderline in prison.

aren't those psychopaths?
Re: Help My Fiancee Is Mentally Unstable by Nobody: 1:23pm On Sep 21, 2015
dominique:
Before getting to the bottom part of the post, I was already suspecting that she could be bi-polar. It is a mental condition that can be managed. If this is something your 'friend'cannot handle, its better to back out before tying the knot.
Thank u for understanding that bipolar is nt a big illness cry cry cry cry

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