Go back to the drawing board, there is something u did when he first met u that made him want to bleep every second that u are not doing again.no reasonable man will refuse sex to to type if woman u described.

Can u recall somtin u've done wrong that made him to turnout that way? Cos u ladies wuna get wahala too, na only guys own wuna go dey reveal blah blah blah. It's only God that knows the evil act u've committed that is makin him to treat u dat way. Sorri jux passinby

I will advice you not to come to nairaland to lay such complain,.. You know why? Because, most of the people dat will comment on your post are just so childish and cannot say any meaningful thing to help u.... They know themselves,...
In otherwords, pls call him to order to discuss it over intimately, it's either he has lost libido or he is seeing someone else, don't cry anymore, stand up and fight for your husband and your happiness, it's obvious something is wrong, try n fish it out now OK...... Most of all, don't think of divorce... Thanks.

He has been with another woman without protection and wants to be sure he is not infected before coming back to you, trust me he will come back just pretend he is not there get busy keep being neat and pretty

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

Take it to God in prayer first, then have a discussion with your husband let him know your feelings. I bet you he will change

My candid advice to u is to meet him politely after a delicious meal that u have an important discussion with him, let him know that u have tried enduring but since he is not finding u attractive, he should play safe where he is playing and that both of u have to go for HIV test anytime he needs u but u will not cheat on him. After which don't ever go begging him, concentrate on yr children and church.

But again seek for prayers as he fit don join... Maybe he doesn't want u to be hurthurt, be careful anyway

daretodiffer:

Joker!

Why?
My dear anybody who can concieve murder is an evil person. I was almost taken in by her first post but something didnt quite sound right about her person. I may have believed her If she said they sleep on the same bed but he makes no attempt at showing affection. But the fact that the man sleeps far away from her tells you that the man wants to stay away as far as possible from the mentally unstable wife to avoid being killed in the middle of the night while he is fast asleep! That woman is evil.

dinachi:

Why?
My dear anybody who can concieve murder is an evil person. I was almost taken in by her first post but something didnt quite sound right about her person. I may have believed her If she said they sleep on the same bed but he makes no attempt at showing affection. But the fact that the man sleeps far away from her tells you that the man wants to stay away as far as possible from the mentally unstable wife to avoid being killed in the middle of the night while he is fast asleep! That woman is evil.

If she were a man, you won't be typing this nonsense

May God help you out in Jesus name......








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Hi55:
Thanks to you all for the words of advice and encouragement. To answer some of your questions: yes I have a job, my husband has NEVER been much of the sex type right from the onset but he also doesn't ignore me or sleep in the sitting room like he does now. My problem is majorly the lack of affection and not just sex. I can stay for ages without sex but not when my husband is alive and sleeps under the same roof with me daily. It doesn't just seem right to me. I love my kids beyond words but the truth remains that I'm not married to them so they can't play the role of a husband. The funniest part of it all is that he goes on as if all is well.
Someone talked about men being distracted if they have a project at hand. Yes, we have a huge project at hand but I still do not see the connection. I can't masturbate or commit adultery but I can take a walk out of the marriage if things become unbearable for me. I just love him too much and he seems to be taking advantage of that. I NEVER threw myself at him. This life is such an irony because a lot of men are out there begging their wives for intimacy. I just pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about.

Take it easy o. Just because of sex? Why not walk out if you are not comfortable? You will kill him for his family? Then you will be charged for murder and hanged and your children orphan? Haba! You sound selfish.
The bolded is the reason why many guy/ladies will still rate their parents and family ahead of their spouses and you lot will be complaining. You will kill him for his family abi?

KanwuliaJara:
Hmmmmm

Onoda wan don come o!
All these women wey dey look for love and affection from Naija men na waya o!

Una nefa learn to marry to get MARRIAGE SAFITIKATE and BORN ONLY?

Una mamas nor teasssssh una to loff una sefs?

You are "blessed" with 2 kids and you are on NL to cry for blokos?

Liar!!!!!
Ask any woman TRULY BLESSED WITH JUST ONE KID! Her attention done SHIFT tey tey to her darling pikin! E come be TWO KIDS?
Where da PHOCK do YOU find the time?
SHAMELESS, JOBLESS WOMAN!


Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!


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U ave no right to call her names, its either u give her d advice she seeks or u mind ur business nd save ur MB 4 sumtin beta. Dnt act so Primitive.

if you're sure he's not gay then........
Pray
Pray
Pray
After praying
Pray again....
Then Pray some more...
Then have a heart to heart with him, see a counselor
take vacation alone with him....dress provocatively inside your bedroom
Change the look of your bedroom,use live flowers,get romantic candles and sprays
another question, did he watch you having your kids?

[b][/b][color=#990000][/color] story for the gods.. I feel somethin fishy about this story, anyway, lets assume the story is true, here is my advice.. Change your nighties, wit new jeanstrings, transparent night gowns, bu**t cream, little body spray, and when the room is hot try sleeping wit only jeanstrings, if your hub refuse touching you, masturbate in the bathroom.. You are marry so its not a sin.. Do this for 2 weeks and you will be a week pregnant.. Thanks

Like the popular opinion so far, I join others to request that you discussion with him and let him know your feeling. However, look out for That particular time when he is very excited, preferably about your person, then move in slowly and wisely and bring him to your world.

I trust that God willing, this would work. If it fails, you both need to see a counsellor. I trust God to lead you to one. Cheer up, God will help you build your home

daretodiffer:

If she were a man, you won't be typing this nonsense

This is very very unfair! A man abandons his matrimonial bed fleeing for his dear life and you cant even spare a good word for him? SMH. From the foregoing, it is very clear that the Op is the evil aggressor while the innocent husband is the victim.

dinachi:

This is very very unfair! A man abandons his matrimonial bed fleeing for his dear life and you cant even spare a good word for him? SMH. From the foregoing, it is very clear that the Op is the evil aggressor while the innocent husband is the victim.

Sexist pig

Funnyguy83:
To me dis story is cooked. Bt wait o ! I taught guys r d only being that thinks about S*X, never knew women does. #PRETENDERS

IGNORANCE

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

thank you for being a good wife. people like you are rear. pls I advice you to talk it out with your husband. tell him how you feel just the way you narrated it here. wishing you happy married life.

DoTheNeedful:


Take it easy o. Just because of sex? Why not walk out if you are not comfortable? You will kill him for his family? Then you will be charged for murder and hanged and your children orphan? Haba! You sound selfish.
The bolded is the reason why many guy/ladies will still rate their parents and family ahead of their spouses and you lot will be complaining. You will kill him for his family abi?

That is how I knew she is pure evil! Any woman who says she will definitely murder her husband is a very terrible person.

daretodiffer:
Sexist pig

Demented skunk!

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

Who knows mayb b4 u guys got married, u used to deny him sex now it is a pay back period.
That is wat am also planning to do to my current gf if I eventually get married to her.I will surely pay her back.

sit him down and let him know ur thought and problems......maybe he is having sth against u......or probably ur pussy too expanded for his liking.
just sit him down and talk to him

LastProphet:


don't sit anybody down it turns people off, please grow up and stop believing all those trash you watch on American channel. after 5 years and 2 kids no normal man or woman is hot about the partner anymore, I think you are naturally clingy and you are soon going to create a problem where there is none. if its possible travel or separate a while at least for 1 month and face your career if you have one. lastly we are not foolish like americans who wake up every morning and say i love you to their mother before she can believe they love her, here in Nigeria where people are more emotionally and socially mature you dont need to say that trash before your mother knows you will die for her anyday. youg lady your marriage has no problem o except immature expectation

Are you like the Op's hubby?

christinie:
there's nothing that moves a man than knowing that the person he ignores is a hot cake to others. When a woman makes a man feel like she can't survive without him, he can treat her like trash (if he ain't got consience). Always make your partner feel you are independent (not overly) and they will respect you more. Being clingy can be boring.
If indeed he wants out, begging him won't make him change his mind, instead it will compound issues.
By the time he notices that the lady isn't worried about him: the time he gets back home; whether he wants her or not etc he will be the one checking the lady out, not the other way round.
The man has ego and only reversed psychology can cure his ego.
Remember I told her to back this up with prayers.

Well, I'm a man. So I stand a good chance of knowing one or two things about men.

Many assertions women have about men just are not that true. Mostly generalisation.
Remember men are still individuals, with individual idiosyncrasies.

Many marriages face their toughest phase between 5th & 10th year. It's time of finally realising you're "stuck" or lovingly with one person quasi forever. It can go either way.

This is no exception.

If a man doesn't care anymore, he just doesn't.

If she would be openly flirting with other men or worse, of course his pride/ego would kick in. But Just ignoring would just give him ammunition.
This lady needs to be sure he hasn't found out some unsavoury things about her past. Or that someone has not lied against her.

Why would she beg? Has she obviously done anything wrong?
She should be herself and if possible seek professional help.

babysophie:
Face ur children n work if u v any,dress sexily n smart. If u nid sexual satisfaction den learn hw to masturbate n u will be too tired to fink of a husband hu doesn't v ur tym.

the only advice I've noticed so far....others were suggestions...

My dear, device another means...i know his silence on you hurts...but you must try to seek an opportunity an reach his hrt..
I tell u he might be battling with mood swing.. as u get to know his hrt condition an intentions,
discussing it him will at least give you a sense of belonging, so as to knw d nxt step to take...above all be prayerful i believ God will hear ur outcry of lonely moments..
\\






sorely depend on him...

google 'how to seduce a man'. If it helps, let me know.

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

As earlier advised, please try and talk it out with your hubby after you have prayed about it and let him know you are hurt by his recent actions. If truly he is still into you he will surely apologise and return to being the loving husband he used to be.

Arrange a holidays for time out after talking about it in an honest discussion, and ultimately take it to God in prayer.

dinachi:

Demented skunk!

We all know who is demented on this forum

Whatever happened to you

When I read the message,my instinct just told me there is either another girl or your husband has contacted disease and does not want to infect you and also someone should pls beg that writer that wrote a similar story like yours not to tell the husband,you never can tell,it might just be the same couple.But work on those two assumptions and see how it goes.