Life is a bitch.
You have to lie to your boyfriend.
Tell him you were forced to do it by someone before you met him and the trauma and shame made you deceive him all the while. Better chance he will accept that than telling him about Mr Nasarawa.
Secondly dont believe everyone from these chats. Lagos bobos claim to be from all places, wash for you by taking the hotel and put you under pressure.

Chris the post with your picture go has a Modify botten press it you will see something like this


Attached: Uncheck the attachments you no longer want attached:
Bild 004.jpg

press the box with the green mark and it will remove your picture

Now to my advise.
If you do not love your boyfriend, breakup with him without even telling him what happened and make a new start with a new boyfriend. Or may be the relationship with the other man may work out.
I know its not alwas good to lie but in this case you are not telling a lie. YOu are just not Telling.
But if you want to stay with him tell him what happened no point to lie.

You know a girl that has sex should have it with pride . Not a Hotel or on the backseat of a friends car.

my daughter is close to your age if she has a boyfriend i advise her to pick one that takes her home to meet his people . If he is not allowed to have girlfriend or can or dose not want totake her to his home she should forget about him.
If she cannot have his house nr were the mum and dad may pick the phone she should forget about him.
If he has no respect for her she should forget about him.
If his Freinds do no repect her and accept her as the girlfriend she should forget him.
Then it is the face he gives his friend that will allow them to talk to her the way they do.

You are not a man you are a woman.
If you are ready to stand to what you say then do not bother to remove that picture you put.
What you did has been done by many but they do not talk about it Openly.

twinstaiye The boyfriend is gulity of nothing, then he had a life be4 he met her.
She was the one that staryed.
Do me i do you method dose not even work here because as of now and when she did what she did his hands were clean.
Its better to tell the truth or not anything at all.

Mamaput, mind you, I did not say categorically that the boyfriend is guilty, what I said was that, perhaps the boyfriend too might have disvirgined a girl too in the past, and in which case he is also as guilty as she is.

PULEASE CHRISTIANA. About I don't have a heart! How dare you! Read all my posts clearly. By the way I am a woman. If u as a girl saw a guy post this u would probably be one of the first to crucify him. You did something wrong, there are no 2 ways about it. So I told you u did something wrong and offered u advice simple.

You are not a victim as no-one raped you!

I am not saying u should be punished for it or now u do not deserve love, but he (your boyfriend) is the victim. He should be the one u are thinking of, not yourself. You can always find another man, but his faith in females will be shattered (perhaps like his heart). If you had said your man was a bad guy etc etc I would say it was just an excuse but atleast I could see reasons why . . . however, u said your man is a great guy, which is why I am perhaps annoyed at all!

Also, you have stated u were a virgin and disflowered by this new guy, yet in your posting history you present yourself as very experienced sexually. I notice u did not disclaim this in your reply posts to Sista. I applauded Sista for having time for u as I don't have time to console liars I know too many already! If u had come on thispost with the truth I would have not put that last statement, look at my statement before I saw u were supposed to be lying to us.

ell77:

DAMN Midep, no be u she cheat on oh! Abeg, calm down,lol! Also u can't judge a whole species based on a few if that was the case how many men have cheated on their girls and been accepted back with open arms. If u read the posts properly, u will see people have told this girl what she has done was wrong, including myself, I think before u I was even amongst the harshest, but people do make mistakes. However, even though I think u did go over the edge, it is worth considering your behaviour. I mean she said in her post she was afraid of telling him-which I gathered was because she was afraid of LOSING HIM. Just realised some guys like yourself get extremely angry. So Christiana when u do tell him (which is a necessity) it may be worth telling him in a place that has people around but still haS SOME ELEMENT OF PRIVACY, SO AS TO RESPECT HIM BUT PROTECT URSELF. Think wot u did was wrong, but no one is without sin and u don't deserve to hav a hand laid on u for such a thing (my own opinion anyway).

You may hav a point here Sista.

OH YEAH CHRISTIANE PLS TAKE OFF UR PIC FROM THE NET, at the very least it is an invitation for judgement before meeting u!

I don't particularly think it was a cry for help although it is very possible, there is no need for understanding though, you messed up simple. This is part of life and if we shelter her from what are normal reactions (whether excessive or not), when she meets them face to face what will she do, let her be ready and face facts, it is not the end of the world though so my dear don't walk towards that edge!

YES THAT'S RIGHT - AT ONE POINT I WAS EVEN DEFENDING YOU!

Well, about talking behind your back. Umm . . . I posted it on a public site u started, so it was meant for u to see and read! Duh!

By the way I am only 2 years older than u and also a female, so I am not buying naiivety. But you're actually wrong, I do care if u tell your man or not, simply because it is the right thing to do, also u can never live with this burden on ur shoulders, and it is a learning process too.

Honey, don't let em start on u oh! I am just responding to your post, but as u can tell I am mega vexed! By the way, I notice u picked my post only to quote in anger, meanwhile other people are already printing your photo ready to find u and batter u. Wise up girl. This guy could have raped u, u could be pregnant, u could have AIDS. Then look at the man u may lose - your boyfriend could have been the one to make all your desires in a man/human being true. What exactly were u expecting, u cheated on your man, people should now turn around and say 'Sorry'. No u got told it was wrong, since in your post u did not reflect much guilt, only fear of losing something precious. The intent is to make u realise there is something to be guilty about, so that if your man does not forgive u, u know that it is to be expected (and not be too shocked that u move to that EDGE). But also so that if your man does forgive u, u know not to do it again!

@ Sista, imagine if he forgives her, and she cheats again! Will u concentrate on making her feel better and how 'it's not your fault - u are confused'. Or will u let her know confusion or no confusion. What is wrong is wrong, what is right is right! Whatever, I guess u do it out of concern anyway and there is no fault in that.
@Christiana - I advise u as someone else said to close this post althogether, at last sense don catch u so u removed your pic. But people can identify u by other means i.e. email, pic in profile etc. Just liase with Sista, and hopefully u can mend your torn mind. But just for the record, honesty is the best policy, both with your man and if your going to post statements for advice or a reaction of some sort online! Yeah and u may not want my advice (even though u asked for everyone to give some), but if u don't follow it and ur man was to ever find out, that would be ur worst punishment, not people u don't even know and will probably never ever see telling u ''u did a bad thing''. His reaction is probably what could push u to the edge.

This will definitely be a lesson learned. Also, when you post on the net which is available to the public, especially to a forum, try to be truthful. because you do leave a trail.  All one needs to do is check your posting history (you obviously were not aware of that). So, somewhere along the line, you are not saying the truth. You also posted your picture, what a mistake! Even though you have taken the picture off, anyone that has saved the picture before you took it off has that exact picture. All they had to do is right click on the image and save it to their PC. I hope you know that anyway.

Chistiana,

When did this happen?  Your story I mean.  I ask because:

1.  You claim to be "experienced".
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=26874.msg666973#msg666973

2.  You imply you are "good".
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=24669.msg671826#msg671826

3.  You claim to have sex at least once in every 5 months.
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=1150.msg666945#msg666945

4.  You claim to have slept with various men from different ethnic groups in Nigeria.
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=14546.msg666916#msg666916

5.  And finally, you claim, on this thread, to be a virgin until you met this guy.  From your story, it seems this Nassarawa guy is the only one you have slept with so far.

So which do we believe?

Actually, what I will like to know is whether #1 - 4 came after #5, or whether your 4 posts I highlighted above are really true, or whether the 5th item on my list is just another usual balderdash, as always seen here on Nairaland, or whether any of them is even true at all, or perhaps, you share your Nairaland ID with another person.

However, if this story is true, then you should be your own judge, based on the posts you made here and here.  

Also, would you mind telling us your real age?  For some reason, I do not believe that age in your profile.  Thanks.

@goodguy
sorry for going offtopic here can you pls continue the results thread on sports,
please

Okay.

@goodguy

seems like people enjoy coming to NL to scam others, whats the point and what do they gain?, maybe she ll be able to explain her responses

She has been posting on other threads and has deliberately ignored this one. I guess she no longer needs our "help".

@ ell7 @ googguy @mukina2
U know wat, the most i just keep laughing when i saw ur post u guys doesnt have work cause if u do u wont start doing copy and paste.

and let me go back to ur replies posting to others topics doesnt mean am far experience, and that doesnt mean i do that, listen and listen good i read novels alot and i know whats going on around me, if thats what u wanna hear. and beside am not a novist, am not deaf and am not blind, so far i can read.

and besides seeking for ur advice doesnt mean u should insult me. at first if i never post that u would never know whats really happening to me.

people do think sharing experience is fun, but they wouldnt know its really some pain in the heart.

and as for u @ell7, i cant really balme u cause i gave u words.

senseless goat.

infact post am waiting for ur replys, i have enought time for u guys now. cause i think i have mouth now.

Am waiting oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Em good people of naira land am i the only that think "little miss just lost her virginity" here,is a bit rude, insulting people is not the way to go, truth is wat u did mistake or not does not warrant applaus from us, when u post stuffs here u should be ready for any reply, honest or not,

by the way you mention you love ur boyfriend a lot, are u really sure.the way u threw ur "FLOWER" away makes me doubt it.plus u didnt ve 2 meet this DEFLOWER at the hotel thats wat cinemas,resturants and bars are for, so pls cut the innocent act girl, u went to get laid and u did, hope u enjoyed it though.

but since u looking 4 advice i will say, tell ur boyfriend the truth but dont hope for much, u still quite young and you have the rest of ur life ahead of u, so if things dont work out at least u ve learnt a valuable lesson .which will help u in futhure, ie cute does not always mean open UR legs, and its not wise to meet a guy behind close doors untill u sure u wanna take it 2 second base.(especially one u met online he could ve being a serial killer or a rapiest 4 all u know)

well good luck girl, hope things work out 4 u

PS NO HATE MAILS PLS AM ALLERGIC

@ lovestinks, goodguy & mukina -thank you my dears

@ Christiana - Even now u still seem to believe lying!

Wow, I really do think this case is serious oh! Sista where are you I am starting to feel sorry for this chick. Imagine she wants to call me not only a goat but a senseless goat. I won't even insult you - cos I don't really believe anymore you are 20 like you claim (your age is showing), but I would like to point out I never once insulted you until my very last post (where you had insulted me first). Read my posts carefully y'all. At the most I was being very critical and perhaps a tad harsh. But to be honest for me to advise you, I felt I had to be, you were more interested in keeping it from your man than getting over guilt - u did not express any guilt, perhaps regret, but not guilt and the 2 are separate entities. I did not believe you were in luv with ur man at the time, I explained why, and on the basis of that advised you. It may have been am ill-judgement, I don't know, but that's what happens when u air ur dirty laundry online - people gain a skewed view of u. Then looking at ur history of posts u claimed you had sex quite often.

Well, we are going round in circles now. Still don't believe I was wrong in anything I said, but I am going to leave you on this topic as there are more interesting topics going on elsewhere. PS don't be trailing my posts if it is just to agitate me becuase I will simply ignore u and I am sure people will just abuse back for me anyway. If you feel like crap and really and truly believe that is down to me and not the realisation of ur ways and what u have done to another human being or how u have deceived people and got caught out then I can easily apologise. But really, I don't think so. Just shut down this post and converse with Sista. I hope she helps u resolve all ur issues and gives u all the advice u need, just be honest with her.

@Topic


If I had known this topic was still generating replies, I would have come back a long time ago. For some reason I have not been receiving my notifications of new postings as they come in. I just happen to come back to this topic for the hell of it and i saw what people have been saying.

I wish to address this quote first.

@ell77

Also, you have stated u were a virgin and disflowered by this new guy, yet in your posting history you present yourself as very experienced sexually. I notice u did not disclaim this in your reply posts to Sista. I applauded Sista for having time for u as I don't have time to console liars I know too many already! If u had come on thispost with the truth I would have not put that last statement, look at my statement before I saw u were supposed to be lying to us.

For one thing I don't know if you are black or not but I am and so is Christiana and that makes her my little sister because I am much older than she is.

I read some of Christiana's old postings before I made the decision to have time for her. To me she struck me as a girl in need of attention for what ever reason. She is my sister and she needed me so I came to her aid.

I am not calling Christian a lier but if she is lying, people who lie, they need help. We should not be condemning her, black people do this to much to each other and it needs to stop. We all have skeletons in our closets and no one is perfect so who are we to judge this Christiana?

Your trying to make her feel guilty is not going to help her and to all the others who are trying to mock Christiana, you should be ashamed of your self. This girl has done nothing a lot of young girls have not been doing these days. If she were a boy, I think you guys would think what she did was cute or manly.

I am not saying that what Christiana did was right but already enough times in this topic, she has been ridiculed. Now it is time to give her healthy advice and stop acting as if we our selves have never done anything wrong.

Please, abeg, Christiana is our sister and you should try to teach her instead of ridiculing her. Talk nice to Christiana and, you may be surprised at how sweet and intelligent she is. Give her a chance to show that she deserves humanity.

@Ell7 again

@ Sista, imagine if he forgives her, and she cheats again! Will u concentrate on making her feel better and how 'it's not your fault - u are confused'. Or will u let her know confusion or no confusion. What is wrong is wrong, what is right is right! Whatever, I guess u do it out of concern anyway and there is no fault in that.

I understand what you are saying ell77 but attacking her is not going to get her to want to take your advice, it will probably only make her continue to rebel. If you want to help someone, you have to first show that you understand them other wise they will see you as talking down to them, as if you are superior to them and that is not going to help Christiana or this young man she is having this problem with. She has to be able to respect you and respect does not come easy for people who attack other people without first allowing them to explain things in more detail. If you would ask Christiana the right questions, I am sure you will find out that her behavior has a lot to do with something else. It is not that she is promiscuous or enjoys being promiscuous, it is about something else we need to help her discover.

@ ell7, cant u just think for some seconds, before jumping into conclusion. u said i keep posting in other people's thread aceive am more experience, I do post cause i can deny that, i read novels alot and i know wts going on. so thats doesnt mean i have slept with all the men in this world. beside u can tell me i shouldnt post in other peoples thread.

and besides i dont know if we have met before, cause u keep bouncing at me, or may be i have wrong u some how.
u caused the insult. besides no one as ever told me i have insulted him/her. but u.

i was only seeking for an advice but u gave me the insult of my life. It wasnt ur fault i gave u words to speak,

besides i dont seems to ve ur time any more, u even claim to be mature but u not, when people speak u know by their statemet or their sentence. but i dont even know if u are teen or child.

@Christiana

You don't have to prove anything to anyone sweet heart.


How are you doing? I miss you little sis.

chistiana:

@ ell7 @ googguy @mukina2

First of all, ell7 has been trying to defend you and never insulted you on this thread, while mukina2 was only asking me for a favour based on a topic under the sports section.  So I do not know why you are directing your post to both of them.

chistiana:

U know what, the most i just keep laughing when i saw your post u guys doesnt have work cause if u do u wont start doing copy and paste.

Yeah.  I was free at that moment, and actually didn't have work to do.  But I wonder what's funny about that.

chistiana:

and let me go back to your replies posting to others topics doesnt mean am far experience, and that doesnt mean i do that, listen and listen good i read novels alot and i know whats going on around me, if thats what u want to hear. and beside am not a novist, am not deaf and am not blind, so far i can read.

Okay Ms. I-read-novels-a-lot.  So how do you explain the following posts?

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=1150.msg666945#msg666945
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=14546.msg666916#msg666916

Perhaps, they're extracts from the some of the novels you read?

chistiana:

and besides seeking for your advice doesnt mean u should insult me.

Can you please point out to me where I insulted you in any of my posts?

chistiana:

at first if i never post that u would never know whats really happening to me.

But since you decided to post it, we now know. THAT is not the issue!

chistiana:

people do think sharing experience is fun, but they wouldnt know its really some pain in the heart.

But you seem not to be sincere with this experience you're sharing with us, as shown by your previous post which says you have slept with so many men from different parts of the country, contrary to what you told us on this thread that you were a virgin until you readily gave yourself to the Nassarawa guy.  That was why I asked earlier when this story (the one you're sharing) happened; was it before you started sleeping with different men around, or was it after you had slept with them all, still thinking you were a virgin, until you met the Nassarawa guy.  If it's the latter, I bet the guy must be the Albino you've been fantasizing about, otherwise, you wouldn't have allowed him "deflower" you at first sight.

chistiana:

infact post am waiting for your replys, i have enought time for u guys now. cause i think i have mouth now.

Unfortunately, you haven't really made much sense from what you've been spilling from that mouth of yours so far.

@ Good guy, pls don't reply anymore even if she abuses you _{nairalanders heave eyes & they can see 4 demselves}

@christina: Look around other posts of ppl seeking advice, u'll notice that som ppl always abuse them, _{so just leave 'em haters}

@ post: I'll advice you tell your real guy & let him know you are ready to end the relationship because you accept your faults. _{May God give your b/f the heart to take it}

haywhy:

@ Good guy, please don't reply anymore even if she abuses you _{Nairaland users heave eyes & they can see 4 demselves}

@christina: Look around other posts of people seeking advice, u'll notice that som people always abuse them, _{so just leave 'em haters}

@ post: I'll advice you tell your real guy & let him know you are ready to end the relationship because you accept your faults. _{May God give your b/f the heart to take it}

Thanx for that, I will as soon as possible.

Sista:

@Christiana

You don't have to prove anything to anyone sweet heart.


How are you doing? I miss you little sis.

Big Sista,

how are u doin over there, Ve miss u too,
Love u.

christiana, how can you say you love Sista and you dont know what love is.

This is pretty difficult,i think d best thing to do is to open up 2 ur boyfriend cos he wil get 2 knw over tym.If he's goin 2 break up with u let him break up now b4 u get so intimate with each other.

@jammin

christiana, how can you say you love Sista and you don't know what love is.

I hope that Christiana sees your little smiley face on the end and knows that you are only joking.

jammin:

christiana, how can you say you love Sista and you don't know what love is.

Mr Jammin,
Pls can u explain what love is and i need more lectures on it, Mr lecturer,lol

Am sorry am not trying to be Bayes here but only true Nigerians will understand this girls plight.she is the greedy type that wants money i don't know if anyone too note of the word(he lodge in an hotel)anyone with a little psychology lesson will understand that her meeting this guy in an hotel stirred up the desire to want this guy cos the money is there.and her boyfriend does not have the means.i only pity that guy who will be telling the whole world how beautiful,caring and loving his girl firend is.can u imagine u where even deflowered by this guy u just met becos the money is there.damn u girl.that a typical example of naija babes.they do anything for cash even compromising their so called LOVE.

So were should the man have stayed.
In a mamaput backyard?
Did she say any thing about money.
We saw her pic she is a good looking girl . If it was money there are enough men in Town.
And even if it was the money .
The name of the topic is can you help me not judge me.
By the way is it only because she told her story. Every one has done a stupid mistake she is not alone.

@Mamaput

I agree with you Mamaput, they need to stop wasting their time picking on this young girl. Anyone thinking that this girl is money hungry must be someone who can not afford a lodge and so he is hating.

In my experience, it is always the men who have nothing that complain about a woman who desires a man with money. Those same men would not be caught dead with a woman who cares for them if she is not as attractive as the so called high class women. Those same men only crave the women who only want men with money.

@ Harvey Hey don't blame this girl for the high class women who reject you, find a woman in your own league.

Where is this so called Nasarawa guy, U have not said anything about him lately. Did he tell u he loves u and all that, is he still consistent. Are sure he is not a runaway bobo or wat.

Tell us if u love him better, if u do. i guess its time u go a visit to Nasarawa State to claim ur possession.

Girlie?U found an experience.Make sure ths is in ur diary!i am a guy nd hv xperiecd smtng lik ths.I got home nd i was like hell,did i wear a condom?!However,u should be creful hw u answer sm of ur 'ppl' here!Remember,u askd 4 help in d 1st place,bearing in mind dat we all c thngs fm diffnt perspectv based solely on our xperience or on wt we'v learnt.Please.dnt do dat again.I am sure ur heart has already judged u.U c.ths is a society where d malefolk do thngs nd get away wt it.not so wt d womenfolk!YOUR emotions ran wild cos of wot u saw nt cosof who u are!That was wot happend to me!!Ever since then,i'v been tryng 2 learn d art of self control.i didnt even knw it wasn't there.ENOF fm me!Believe me:U got a STORY!!!

Oh shit girl, how can u give yourslf away like dat, let alone 2 sme1 u just met.