I have heard many ladies use these words and i really want some ladies to clear the air on this matter.

Its amazing that some ladies juxtapose staying with a struggling guy with doing him a favour and I tend to wonder why this is so. I believe that a lady should be with a man because she wants to regardless of whether he eventually hit it big In life.

I once dated a lady and each time i gave her what i can afford she will quickly say"im struggling with you now o and nobody is seeing it" and i try hard to remember if we went out together to hustle.

So the question is;when a lady says "i was there for him when he had nothing" please what exactly does she mean?

1..Does it mean she stood by him by actively contributing to his life by bringing him food or food stuffs,by giving him her money or helping him in one way or the other materially or monetarily?

or

2.Does she mean she remained his bae when he was struggling and suffered with him by drinking the little garri he managed to buy with the little stipends he gets or because she usually collects the little he gives to her from the very little money he fortunately makes from his hustle.

Please ladies i really need to know your definition of being there for a man in times of struggles

Over to you ladies.

Aimoye ojo to ti ro
Owo to ti wo gbo
Provision rira nipa pe keyan na le contributu
Gbogbo nkan teyan nse, ise oluwa ni
Boowu ko gbori duro
Bi pe eyan n fun onibaara lowo ati awon alaini ni o se je semi

I don't say 'boowu e ko gbori duro, oun leyan ba e jiya yi'
No no no, eniyan nrin oun sowo nu

For me its both

Ladies who usually say that are those set of ladies that never add a drop of water to an ocean.

A supportive woman don't brag over stuffs like dat no matter what but if d opposite buy a recharge card of #200, she'll remind u d date n time she bought it wen u 2 hav lil misunderstanding.


U suffered with him b'cos

*u asked him for 10k n he gave u 4k ?
*u asked him to take u out n he said not dis weekend ?
*u don't get t'fare at times wen u pay him a visit?
* u asked him to buy u iPhone6 n he got u BB10? ..... nonsense!!!!

U're nothing but a liability to him.

It can be both ways

Michellla:
it means she stood by him by actively contributing to his life by bringing him food or food stuffs,by giving him her money or helping him in
one way or the other materially or
monetarily

I totally second this.

Oyah, ladies

Baseverb:
It can be both ways

How can?

adepeter26:
Oyah, ladies

What is your own definition?

I would have asked lalasticlala his own definition but the guy dey vex me these days and to even write another OP name sef heavy me for hand.The guy don use oturumopo for me but GOD pass am.

It means she was there for him in his trying moments.
According to a Yoruba adage :"The presence of people in your life is worth more than any money".

Being lonely kills faster than being poor!

Toks2008:

How can?

It depends on the girl's perspective of your relationship

IT SIMPLY MEANS SHE WAS THERE FOR HIM FULL STOP

tosyne2much:
Oga Toks don come again

No worry, i go soon marry now and i no go get time to dey write for nairaland again when i dey less busy because i will have a new website to browse and write serious practical articles on.

For now you guys should just bear with me.

No you getting it wrong. The phrase "I was there for him" simply mean that whenever he asks for "it" I give it without hesitating. Even if I'm miles away, I rush down just to satisfy his crazy urge... *guess I nailed it*

Dat line wen used genuinely is meant to make a man rethink n try to influence a man's actions. Sum ladies av bin around during tyms of sickness, legal/ police problems, et all trials.

Most naija girls use it as a tool of manipulatin guys. Especially guys in d friendzone, immediately d guy hammer big, most naija babes go be like: I was dia for him wen he had notin, Infact we were an item but now, see how he is treating me. Lol.

Maybe It means she attends PTA meetings for you.......

No woman can tell me she was there for me o....women wey no dey gree spend money....if them spend them go collect am,one way or the other and still make reference to that later.....


Those species no fit help except if the are our mothers, wives or sister.

Beware of Gold diggers.

Omotayor123:
It means she was there for him in his trying moments.
According to a Yoruba adage :"The presence of people in your life is worth more than any money".

Being lonely kills faster than being poor!

Oro sunuku @ the embolden letterings.

Nevertheless i believe the one who really deserves more respect is the one who makes physical contribution to his life and not the one who was a burden on him regardless.

Its so unfortunate that many ladies who claim they were there for a man fall into the second category which makes it so annoying.

jimmyolasun:
No you getting it wrong. The phrase "I was there for him" simply mean that whenever he asks for "it" I give it without hesitating. Even if I'm miles away, I rush down just to satisfy his crazy urge... *guess I nailed it*

you don kolo

magicalBae:


Ladies who usually say that are those set of ladies that never add a drop of water to an ocean.

U suffered with him b'cos

*u asked him for 10k n he gave u 4k ?
*u asked him to take u out n he said not dis weekend ?
*u don't get t'fare at times wen u pay him a visit?
* u asked him to buy u iPhone6 n he got u BB10? ..... nonsense!!!!

U're nothing but a liability to him.

u sure ur a girl

Being there for a man is beyond material or sexual provision. For me a woman who I'll regard as being there for me is that woman who didn't look down on me when I failed at something but encouraged me to move on.

tosyne2much:
In as much as I'm a relationship expert like oga Toks... Lemme air my own opinion


In Nigeria, when a lady is dating a guys that's financially crippled they feel they are dating him out of pity, hence, they see it as suffering that's why the keep ringing to his ears that they are suffering with him now oooo, and that he would be an ingrate if he marries another lady when God finally answers his prayers.


Well, when I say my gf was there for me, it simply means she stood by me through thick and thin, she saw the best in me and helped in nursing my future


Lastly, it means she was loyal, committed and had no reason whatsoever to cheat on me

Dats jst it. #finish

Toks2008:
you don kolo

yea sure.. A bae can't say she hustled my money for me or a link to me making doe. so I guess dats the only part they played in the hustle.. So....

EnigmaticEnigma:


u sure ur a girl

Yea... that's don't depend on any guy to have a good life.

magicalBae:


Ladies who usually say that are those set of ladies that never add a drop of water to an ocean.

A supportive woman don't brag over stuffs like dat no matter what but if d opposite buy a recharge card of #200, she'll remind u d date n time she bought it wen u 2 hav lil misunderstanding.


U suffered with him b'cos

*u asked him for 10k n he gave u 4k ?
*u asked him to take u out n he said not dis weekend ?
*u don't get t'fare at times wen u pay him a visit?
* u asked him to buy u iPhone6 n he got u BB10? ..... nonsense!!!!

U're nothing but a liability to him.

LOBATAN!

Coming from a lady

It simply means she is dating the guy out of pity and shame with a consolation he will be the next Zuckerberg..... Or she actually saw the relationship as an investment for the future and on pay day won't want to go empty....... E no fit pass this two, girls na lie..

It means she provided a steady pvvssy when no other woman will endure giving him cos of his hardship/poverty

tosyne2much:
In as much as I'm not a relationship expert like oga Toks... Lemme air my own opinion


Nigeria ladies are brought with the mentality that when a lady is dating a guys that's financially crippled whether he's a PhD or Masters holder, they feel they are actually dating him out of pity, hence, they see it as suffering and endurance, and as a result of this, they keep ringing to his ears that they are suffering with him now oooo, and that he would be an ingrate if he marries another lady when God finally answers his prayers.


Some of them will even consult a native doctor or strip unclad raining curses on the guy when he fails to marry them.

Well, when I say my gf was there for me, it simply means she stood by me through thick and thin, she saw the best in me and helped in nursing my future


Lastly, it means she was loyal, committed and had no reason whatsoever to cheat on me


Lalasticlala, abeg help us move this thread to the promise land

Me and lalasticlala get quarrel and no be today we want settle..na season film wey go long.But one thing has been settled,he has no chance with my very sweet little sis again. No going back on this decision

magicalBae:


Yea... that don't depend on any guy to have a good life.

That's what's up!

I really don't like it when girls you barely know (like under a year), start asking for stuff.

Such a turn off