I think it is stupidity, young people already have a hard existence without adding this onto their weak shoulders!

agitator:

Since you are the personal adviser of your friend, why not advise her to leave the low life and move ahead? Abi dem dey force her?  

 I am with you on this one.I will give two useful advice, If you friend is wealthy, I guess she should look for her own class to marry who will buy the 24k gold with  any problem, She should be advising the guy who to invest his money instead of asking for the 24k Gold, That should server them for the future and who is to take the dowry.Do you mean the gurl will take the 24k Gold or her FAMILY.
  I no understand your own oh.

   IF she really love the guy,She should get the 24k Gold   for the guy and tell him to bring it on the D-day.


  Lastly, Since you know it all why are you here, because I do not see you needing any advice here.

Whether we like it or not, the bride price is always determined by a guy(either from the groom's family or d bride's family)

jeSoul and Agitator,

You are both entitled to your opinion, but i even though of mixed race, love and cherish our culture and tradition even as it pertains marriage. it's what makes us unique. ether your culture demand for a she-goat, or bag of salt or some whips of cane, its all pleasant to experience. Why would you want to alienate your selves from who you are and become what you are not? You may live in Boston (as i see from Jesoul's profile), you may even walk into a registry to be married with 2 witnesses, that will no way make you a blood American (even if you are born there).

As i said earleir,  my friend is a muslim + fiance muslim, it's what the muslim culture demand as the bride's right. so what's bad if she asks for gold? Except you are ignorant, take a trip to dubai and visit PRIMA GOLD at the Mall of the Emirates or at the Burj Al Arab. They are the only world recognised 24k dealers and manufacturers. they have special gold designed for dowry. They have even modern designs as a 24k gold elephant statue and much more. It all depends on the woman to creat a Keepsake for her children which is of value. www.primagold.net

If i were to be a muslim and asked what my dowry was, I wouldn't ask for money, i'd rather request for something i can pass unto my generations. I wouldn't blame those of you who don't appreciate the good a little substantive vanity can bring to ones life. Its's just like asking why a rich man would buy a yacht when he knows that money can improve the roads in his village, its simply that sometimes, if you can afford it, you would want a few of the finest things in life and God bless your decision when its a value generations can benefit from.

Fhemmmy:

When the man frowns at it, it is too much.

True talk o jare,and a lot of brovas are so naive that some may even go aborrowing to meet up the amount

rasputinn:


True talk o jare,and a lot of brovas are so naive that some may even go aborrowing to meet up the amount

Those are not real men.
I think when men refuse to pay it, the price will go down.
it is a demand and supply issue now.

alfchye:

 I am with you on this one.I will give two useful advice, If you friend is wealthy, I guess she should look for her own class to marry who will buy the 24k gold with  any problem, She should be advising the guy who to invest his money instead of asking for the 24k Gold, That should server them for the future and who is to take the dowry.Do you mean the gurl will take the 24k Gold or her FAMILY.
  I no understand your own oh.

   IF she really love the guy,She should get the 24k Gold   for the guy and tell him to bring it on the D-day.


  Lastly, Since you know it all why are you here, because I do not see you needing any advice here.

yes i came here for advice but ended up seeing that more people need advic ethan me  .


@aM JUST ME, PLS learn to read wide and understand other cultures. not all dowries are set by the families. some permit the bride to place hers.

I still maintain my stand, her fiance is wealthy  and can afford mer demand , so he shoould stop considering waht his family might think in him spending such money in getting her request and go ahead and please his bride. They are the ones to live their lives together.

cooljade:

yes i came here for advice but ended up seeing that more people need advic ethan me  .


@aM JUST ME, PLS learn to read wide and understand other cultures. not all dowries are set by the families. some permit the bride to place hers.

I still maintain my stand, her fiance is wealthy  and can afford mer demand , so he shoould stop considering waht his family might think in him spending such money in getting her request and go ahead and please his bride. They are the ones to live their lives together.

cos the man can afford the demand is not enuf for the man to buy and spend such on dowry.
The man is probably seeing the future thru the eye of over-demanding.
They will spend that much on dowry, and what will the woman demand for their 25th wedding anniversary? or even for the wedding party?

His amount of wealth shouldnt be confused with greediness at all, I think she's only being wide-mouthed and greedy by asking for a set price merely because she thinks he is rich and can afford it, what a GOLD DIGGER!! If a girl demands what she wants and I believe its outrageous, well thats the end of it,

Dowry becomes too expensive when a man questions.

Honestly dowries are usually expensive, but when a man demands to know the reason why he has to spend so much . . .a good wife-to-be has to re-think & shelve some childhood fantacies for obtainable reality.

unlike some posters on here, i dont think bride price or dowry is antiquated at all. If a father has invested money and time into his daughter, it is only fair that the groom's family appreciate his effort (both financial and moral). In most cases the bride's family would demand money and other goods, the thing to note is if the girl was not properly educated or of loose morals would the man be marrying her? I don't think so, in which case he should stump up what they require afterall its their daughter.

Junee:

Dowry becomes too expensive when a man questions.

Honestly dowries are usually expensive, but when a man demands to know the reason why he has to spend so much . . .a good wife-to-be has to re-think & shelve some childhood fantacies for obtainable reality.

Dowry is not meant to be expensive, it is meant to just denote a cultural thing.
This is one of the reasons, why i think there has to be a limit on the dowry thing

Fhemmmy:

Those are not real men.
I think when men refuse to pay it, the price will go down.
it is a demand and supply issue now.

Lol, keep waitng for the price to come down, maybe during your time, your in-laws will give you change sef.

And if i happen to be in he shoes and still married to him for 25 years, we will celebrate the anniversary with friends and family (fully taken care of )at the ONE AND ONLY RESORT in Mauritus. yes, I dream big and i'm not ashamed of it. All the luxuries in the world aren't meant for two headed humans. And for your information, buig gold especially 24k is one of the best investments anyone can do. it's unadultrated and is the only quality of gold foreign high class jewelry stores can buy from a non dealer. it ca be used in amufacturing 18k, 22 k 23k 14k etc gold pieces. EDUCATE YOURSELVES BEFORE RESPONDING PLS.

cooljade:

Lol, keep waitng for the price to come down, maybe during your time, your in-laws will give you change sef.

And if i happen to be in he shoes and still married to him for 25 years, we will celebrate the anniversary with friends and family (fully taken care of )at the ONE AND ONLY RESORT in Mauritus. yes, I dream big and i'm not ashamed of it. All the luxuries in the world aren't meant for two headed humans. And for your information, buig gold especially 24k is one of the best investments anyone can do. it's unadultrated and is the only quality of gold foreign high class jewelry stores can buy from a non dealer. it ca be used in amufacturing 18k, 22 k 23k 14k etc gold pieces. EDUCATE YOURSELVES BEFORE RESPONDING PLS.

Yes oh, during my time, i will negotiate and price it sef.
However, if the man has spent all he has on paying for the dowry, how would he has money to take your a$$ to Mauritus?
There is a need for pple to think wisely and not size the man up.

a dowry is never 2 expensive. so far as d 2 parties are happy wd it, its fine. now back 2 our case in question,she has a romantic ideal and he has a very stingy(if not insulting) ideal. i think they should just talk about it especialy since he is capable and she has d rite 2 ask her hearts desire.

debest1:

unlike some posters on here, i dont think bride price or dowry is antiquated at all. If a father has invested money and time into his daughter, it is only fair that the groom's family appreciate his effort (both financial and moral). In most cases the bride's family would demand money and other goods, the thing to note is if the girl was not properly educated or of loose morals would the man be marrying her? I don't think so, in which case he should stump up what they require afterall its their daughter.

God bless you my brother, my friend studied at MIT, Boston, and she's not some gold digger as senseless pple here think. they should checkout how much it cost her father to educate her. More than 10 million naira. Not that she's selling herself, afterall how much would a little box of 24k gold coins cost? not more than 3million which is about the price of 2 first class tickets to the States and back. She is born into class , he (groom) worked his ass into his wealth and his eyes saw what his heart desires, so let him pay her demand.

is she 4 sale?

pardon me,

For a man that worked his ass to wealth, i am very sure that no matter how much he earns, the "utter" of any thing/amount of money running in millions will be questioned. Releasing money earned by hard labour is harder compared to the-born-with-a-diamond spoon thingy. I'm sure monies like that will always sound like something he doesn't have even tho he does.

Probably he is still doubting he's dat rich

IMO, the dowry can not be too expensive as long as both parties are in agreement.

I read through the post and you said that your friend's fiance is a very rich sheik and he has the responsibility of taking care of his parents and siblings.

Don't you think that might be the reason why his mother frowned at the 24k gold idea. Even if he is very rich, lots of responsibility will definately drain his pocket.

So, IMO, your friend should be considerate of the situation of the whole family because eventually, she's going to be a part of the family.

cooljade:

God bless you my brother,  my friend studied at MIT, Boston,  and she's not some gold digger as senseless pple here think. they should checkout how much it cost her father to educate her. More than 10 million naira. Not that she's selling herself,  afterall how much would a little box of 24k gold coins cost? not more than 3million which is about the price of 2 first class tickets to the States and back. She is born into class ,  he (groom) worked his ass into his wealth and his eyes saw what his heart desires,  so let him pay her demand.

you are forcing the man to give to you, since he had already told you he can't.  It means he can't. look for the next man that can afford you.  There are still so many men dying to meet you may be they can even afford to buy the whole of Dubai for you.

cooljade:

God bless you my brother, my friend studied at MIT, Boston, and she's not some gold digger as senseless pple here think. they should checkout how much it cost her father to educate her. More than 10 million naira. Not that she's selling herself, afterall how much would a little box of 24k gold coins cost? not more than 3million which is about the price of 2 first class tickets to the States and back. She is born into class , he (groom) worked his ass into his wealth and his eyes saw what his heart desires, so let him pay her demand.

You are selling you goods and somebody wants to buy but can't meet the price. Why not boldly tell him that you are above his means.

whats your friend asked for too much jor. if she love the guy she can as well give her self away for free. besides there are better things to invest money on than waste it on a bride. a bride price should be reasonable and affordable. it should be a symbol of committment, not the way people sell themselves these days.

when my sis got married, they came with the pride price which was about 12k in cash and other stuffs like rice, etc. though we cldnt not reject the items cos the extended family take that, we gave the cash back to them, and told them to only promise that they will take good care of her. and that was it.

thats why most ibo guys get to 40 b4 they marry,cos the bride price of the ib ladies they always prefer to marry can buy a yatch!

Bride price can never be too expensive if u r truly in love and can afford it. In fact bride price is never a oneoff payment, u keep paying one way or the other to the family .

i am so shocked at the level of thinking of some "self claimed classing women" i guess, this explains why some men are to terrible to some woman.
She studied at MIT, and that means what? that made her to be more valuable that a lady that studied at yabatech?
She is cute, and so what?
She is born into wealth, means what?
If i was the guy, i will give her the 3M naira worth of gold that will make her sell her soul, body and heart to me, however, the papa, the mama and all the rats in her father's house will pay me back in thousands fold.

God bless you my brother, my friend studied at MIT, Boston, and she's not some gold digger as senseless pple here think. they should checkout how much it cost her father to educate her. More than 10 million naira. Not that she's selling herself, afterall how much would a little box of 24k gold coins cost? not more than 3million which is about the price of 2 first class tickets to the States and back. She is born into class , he (groom) worked his ass into his wealth and his eyes saw what his heart desires, so let him pay her demand.
[quote][/quote]

mmmmmmm, so what she want a REFUND

r231:

mmmmmmm, so what she want a REFUND

grt question.

its actually the tradition in some parts of the country to give the bride gold coins as dowry. this usually serves as an asset the bride keeps in the event of a rainy day. women in that part of the country don't usually work, and so the coins are a kind of nest egg they can fall back on in case of dire need. If they are able, they add to it through the years and eventually pass it on to their children.
The number of coins demanded however depends on what the groom can afford.

@poster the thing here is i don't think your frond needs the coins for the usual traditional reason's since she works and being so rich probably has a trust fund or something. she should talk with her fiance and agree on an amount that they can both be happy with. after all she's going to be his wife and will be in a position to get much more out of him then.

Like I said earlier, its a delicate balance. I've known people to set bride price based on beauty of and investments on the bride. If the girl looks like a crocodile and a rich guy comes for her then its a bonus so I doubt the girl or the parents would ask for something that would chase the guy. Also the girl wouldn't want to wait until Bill Gates comes along to buy her 24k gold, would she? Usually in a stalemate like this something has to give and its usually the bride price. If your friend thinks she's too fine for the guy and thus shouldn't go for less then she can bathe her face in acid and ask for a car or if she thinks so much has been invested in her and thus won't settle for less then she can tear her MIT certificate and ask for a white stallion instead.
The point is if the guy complains then she should jettison her fantasy and ask for less instead of sulking. I'm sure they still make 18k gold bars. If she turns out to be a good wife then a good husband would replace the 18k with 24k on their 10th anniversary.
HER ALBATROSS MOTHER-IN-LAW MAY EVEN BE OUT OF THE PICTURE BY THEN.

I no blame the babe sha, na the guy i blame.

cooljade nne na whao 4 u oh. generally advice ur friend to act like a big girl u claim ---- fashe the would be husband 4 another guy OR dough out the cash after all is about what money can buy(ie the gold). but nne eligible guys no many oh , e no easy oh maybe one other girl prayer don dey work oh.

as per the mother in law issue , leave am all of una na dey same. who know the one your friend go do when go be mother in law . see her gensis take know how her own go be.

God bless some cultures in nig that stil acept BP in kobo n jst a few tens of naira bearin in mind that som of d gals skoold @ MIT,HAVARD. I tink nig men shld opt 4 d indian styl whr d woman pays d BP. Am nt sayin any1 dt can aford a 24k gold bar shldnt buy it o. @poster, u said ur frnds hubby strugled 2 get 2 whr he is n has dependants.it means evry naira he earns means a lot 2 him unlyk ur frnd dt was born wit a CARTIER PLATINUM SPOON. she culd alwys run 2 base 4 cash if tins too Red. So those of us wey our ful Local govt manage gather money send go private uni 4 nig,manage get job wey dy pay lyk 150k pa mnth no fit marry pple lyk cooljade o cos we no fit gather moni buy gold. Pls is ur frnd workin n whr lets knw if she can asist her hubby afta d weddin nt dependin on allowee frm her dad.