tomquest:


Several years ago while I was doing my NYSC in Rivers, I had this little bit older lady crushing on me. I had met her while working as an INEC ad hoc staff and she was really nice. Because I was such a guy who was always busy at work and leisure, I didn't really notice how deep in love this lady was. I thought we were just ordinary friends.

Few weeks into our friendship, and after visiting her several weekends and having very nice social times with her little family (she lived with her cousin brother), she insisted on visiting me in company of her cousin brother. I obliged. But to my utter surprise, she showed up alone at the Corpers' Lodge. It was around 6 pm.

Once we got in my room and talked for a while, she was all over me, breathing hard. I was shocked and a little perplexed. Not to act like a "Jew man" I had to respond to her kisses but held back my hands. Hers were already wandering nervously around my back and then down my zippers.

I told her "No please we can't do this, I'm really sorry"...

She thought it was a big evening joke but I insisted. I explained to her that we were merely friends and, also, she should recall that she once told me that she's engaged to a certain guy. How on earth am I supposed to make out with an engaged lady? That was gross to me. She was really upset and disappointed and later left angry and sad.

The second time I experienced something similar was about 3 years ago when I came in contact (at my workplace ) with one very beautiful 19 year old girl. Something in me just accepted her personality as someone who has a lot of potential in her newest future. Yes I had a steady girlfriend so sex wasn't my motive with my girlfriends.

Because of this teenager's quest for tertiary education, and also because I noticed that she saw me as a role model professionally, I vowed that I wasn't gonna be amongst that stupid category of guys who feel like they must take advantage of any girl they mentor or help. I already had a very active sex life with my then girlfriend (who was a tigress in bed).

I spent some cash on this girl to procure JAMB UME forms, get a few books (she was really the studious type). In no time she started visiting my apartment. Am this type of guy that had a very mature co-educational social experience and so handling girlfriends were just as neutral to me as handling my male friends. This was one aspect of me my girlfriend found complicated.

However, the frequency of this girl's visit tripled I had to turn down a lot of her requests to visit. It wasn't long before she started literally asking me to date her, to which I told her I wasn't her friend for sexual reasons but that I just wanted to be of help to her because I was once in her shoes of need. I wanted her in my favorites contact list.

To cut this long story short, I found this girl waiting- unannounced- at my gate on coming back from my office one Friday evening. Of course she apologized for not calling and for coming this late. We got in, I left her in my sitting room and went in to bath and change (my usual routine).

After bathing I found this girl in my bed! So I started preaching again like another holy mallam, explaining to her that we should keep the status quo, I didn't want issues or to be perceived as taking sexual advantage of a very young girl who should be studying for her UME examinations. But all my talks ended in deaf ears, cos she just walked up to me, started kissing me and taking off her blouse. I just shouted "no!", left her in my room and went to my sitting room. She later came out crying seriously that she loves me and wants to be with me. It sounded Greek to me, seriously.

Well that evening was really challenging because she simply could not believe that I would refuse to sleep with her. As beautiful as she was. And as sexually virile as I was too.

The other similar incidents I've had weren't that close as these cases I narrated above, and they keep me wondering all the time how exactly do these ladies feel when a guy turns them down for sex/date... Is it a forgettable experience? Do they tell their girlfriends about it or keep it a secret?

Is it annoying, disappointing or just ungentlemanly? How would you react in such situations? Maybe this will help some of us guys understand women better and take win-win decisions...

Guys like you are difficult to come by. I respect. I truely do cos when I was in that shoe, I succombed. Now, I just dnt allow the devil in the same ring with me. #respect

PunkyV:


No. It's enjoyable only when there's mutual interest & someone is mindful of boundaries. Respect goes a long way.

I quite agree with you.

Realone92:


The moment she said "amen pastor" lmao abeg no make laugh disvirgin me



Clears throat: well well Mr Nl It's a no for me, for a sec I could see myself running and competing but I got no effort and strength to Be online day by day. Am at a point in my life where I need to give all I could to be where I wanna be which goes outside NL.



guess some ladies are just good for kissing and some good enough for the deed.[/quote
the question is which right guy in his mind wouldn't want to finish what he started after making mouth lol but yes u are right maybe some are good for kissing and some for the deeds ...but remember something, most men would love to stand on their words especially in that situation. it's tempting u know. More so u wouldn't want to leave the girl cos u know definitely she's Gonna say u are impotent or sterilize or something worse...

It's really good to think outside the box of NL. Speaking of outside the box,maybe Mr Nigeria then

Also about being tagged as impotent, sterile or worse, that's ladies for you oh . But you did say there is more to your sexually life .

The lady blocked you huh, she must be really hurt. Something tells me that didn't really bother you in way and you were only trying to be nice and all.

Hmmm,guys

What's with your hair tho

PunkyV:


Well, I don't believe they do anything different from the average guy. They just like it a lot. Some can even bother you all night I can't say 100 % that all are like that. I can only speak of the ones I've been with & stuff I hear from friends. They aren't freaky, they just like to smash.

Lie. A typical s.a guy is weak in between the legs compared to other Africans especially Nigerians that know how to strike the pu$$1 to cumz.

You haven't had any other African,if you have.......you would have known the difference

iykedare:


Lie. A typical s.a guy is weak in between the legs compared to other Africans especially Nigerians that know how to strike the pu$$1 to cumz.

You haven't had any other African,if you have.......you would have known the difference

LMAO. Good to know that you're bisexual & have banged an SA dude

PunkyV:


LMAO. Good to know that you're bisexual & have banged an SA dude

lol nice shot, and hw did u knw s.a grls love sex like s.a boys quotin 4rm ur previous post? If he is bisexual, ur what?

dukeprince50:
lol nice shot, and hw did u knw s.a grls love sex like s.a boys quotin 4rm ur previous post? If he is bisexual, ur what?

I'm a South African, I know my people well. I'm sure there're things you consider "Typically Nigerian" as well. South Africans in general are shameless about sex. They're not shy to talk about it, hence I know. The typical South African girl's mentality regarding sex could be considered "manly" by many because we're not emotional about it (like expecting a guy to marry us just because we had sex with him ), unlike Nigerian girls for instance. Hence your guys often call us cheap because if we wanna sleep with you on the 1st date, we will. No shakara.

PunkyV:


I'm a South African, I know my people well. I'm sure there're things you consider "Typically Nigerian" as well. South Africans in general are shameless about sex. They're not shy to talk about it, hence I know. The typical South African girl's mentality regarding sex could be considered "manly" by many because we're not emotional about it, unlike Nigerian girls for instance. Hence your guys often call us cheap because if we wanna sleep with you on the 1st date, we will. No shakara.

ok, i get. As a nigerian guy, i dnt c it normal, bt i get it. Every jesus with his cross

PunkyV:


No. It's enjoyable only when there's mutual interest & someone is mindful of boundaries. Respect goes a long way.

really? I have wondered why girls love teasing.

What is the purpose of teasing?

dukeprince50:
ok, i get. As a nigerian guy, i dnt c it normal, bt i get it. Every jesus with his cross

Yeah well, some Nigerian behaviours I find odd too. Diversity is the spice of life as they say. To each their own.

chinedumo:


really? I have wondered why girls love teasing.

What is the purpose of teasing?

Teasing in what sense? Can you give an example

PunkyV:


Teasing in what sense? Can you give an example

good morning dear. Thanks for your time.

In your story you admited that you teased him. Take that for an example

chinedumo:


good morning dear. Thanks for your time.

In your story you admited that you teased him. Take that for an example

Well for me, flirting is like a friendly banter. No feelings involved, just talking, to make conversation less awkward.

PunkyV:


Well for me, flirting is like a friendly banter. No feelings involved, just talking, to make conversation less awkward.

talking? Wow.

I thought teasing was something like grinding and flashing

chinedumo:


talking? Wow.

I thought teasing was something like grinding and flashing

LMAO. No.

PunkyV:


LMAO. No.

does it also exclude sexual innuedos and dirty talk,Bleep-me signs, ogling, crotch stares, licking lips, hand teasing etc

chinedumo:


does it also exclude sexual innuedos and dirty talk,Bleep-me signs, ogling, crotch stares, licking lips, hand teasing etc

LOL. I've done the 1st two *ashamed* But it truly meant nothing. And usually the guys start it & I only entertained them, knowing fully well it'll never happen. Cheap talk, I'll call it.

Can't relate to the rest though.

PunkyV:


LOL. I've done the 1st two *ashamed* But it truly meant nothing. And usually the guys start it & I only entertained them, knowing fully well it'll never happen. Cheap talk, I'll call it.

Can't relate to the rest though.

i understand you better now. Thank you. I ask bc of a personal experence of mine. A girl accused me of always thinking about sex all the time. I still cant laya finger why she will think so. I wonder whether its something I said or did

foolinlove:
Why throw yourself at a guy? Once they get your v they leave anyway.

When a guy says he's not attracted to me there's onl y one feeling - RELIEF.

Well, some guys could keep coming back for your V, and before you know it, one of them will just propose to you surprisingly.

It happens o

chinedumo:


i understand you better now. Thank you. I ask bc of a personal experence of mine. A girl accused me of always thinking about sex all the time. I still cant laya finger why she will think so. I wonder whether its something I said or did

Hmmm, I wonder how she came up with that one. As girls we don't have similar lines of thinking, so I wouldn't know why she'd think you're a perv. It could have been stuff you said. IDK.

niyot124:


Aww,you are actually cute sha


But really,what will make a guy say that is either the guy has got a high moral standard or the guy doesn't find the lady attractive enough.

If a lady can read the signs well enough,a lot of embarrassment will most certainly be prevented.

Ofcourse, the girl is ugly na ! na why em no wan do anything, its obvious !!!

ErnieSmallzz:
ehnehn Ayam the mummy. Lerrus act it insyd uncompleted building. Oya who will be our child now

let m b una child we de peep as una do am

truthsayer007:


Ofcourse, the girl is ugly na ! na why em no wan do anything, its obvious !!!

Lol,but he said he realized all he wanted to do was just to kiss her and not go all the way down.

niyot124:


Lol,but he said he realized all he wanted to do was just to kiss her and not go all the way down.

ok oh, from kissing shall other things cometh !

once a girl allows you to kiss her in a private room on a soft bed , its a thin line between going all the way down.

niyot124:



It's really good to think outside the box of NL. Speaking of outside the box,maybe Mr Nigeria then

Also about being tagged as impotent, sterile or worse, that's ladies for you oh . But you did say there is more to your sexually life .

The lady blocked you huh, she must be really hurt. Something tells me that didn't really bother you in way and you were only trying to be nice and all.

Hmmm,guys

What's with your hair tho

Niyot124 mr Nigeria ke lol I guess u actually said that to put a smile on my face ..teaser lmao
When is the next Mr Nigeria? I guess I need to fly home to contest keep me posted am sure u gonna give me your full support and blessings (joke) I


/whispers into her ear/" it's been two years now I have bn far away from mothers land. I don't know what u see in me or what potential u foresee ..your words makes me wear this smile upon my face. Would love to know your name though.
Aye maybe I was trying to be nice when I hurt someone In nways I felt guilty. maybe send a million apologizes hoping for forgiveness I just feel its the right thing to do , u read me right I wasn't bother


It's my first dread I just wanted to do something diff for the first time in my life ...the dreads fits perfectly and I love it but its temporary ...that's all I can say for now ....

truthsayer007:


ok oh, from kissing shall other things cometh !

once a girl allows you to kiss her in a private room on a soft bed , its a thin line between going all the way down.

Hmmm .

So you are saying you have never turned down a girl? Honestly?

Abeg wetin crush mean sef coz I don't understand.

Realone92:



Niyot124 mr Nigeria ke lol I guess u actually said that to put a smile on my face ..teaser lmao
When is the next Mr Nigeria? I guess I need to fly home to contest keep me posted am sure u gonna give me your full support and blessings (joke) I


/whispers into her ear/" it's been two years now I have bn far away from mothers land. I don't know what u see in me or what potential u foresee ..your words makes me wear this smile upon my face. Would love to know your name though.
Aye maybe I was trying to be nice when I hurt someone In nways I felt guilty. maybe send a million apologizes hoping for forgiveness I just feel its the right thing to do , u read me right I wasn't bother


It's my first dread I just wanted to do something diff for the first time in my life ...the dreads fits perfectly and I love it but its temporary ...that's all I can say for now ....

Lol,i would definitely support if you go for Mr Nigeria. .

As for what I see in you, come on,you are cute now ,also what you said about your encounter with the girl got my attention.

I was on dread too, not natural tho,loosened it recently. I think it's so cool and natural.

So whatcha doing outside the motherland anyway?

truthsayer007:


ok oh, from kissing shall other things cometh !

once a girl allows you to kiss her in a private room on a soft bed , its a thin line between going all the way down.

Hmm thin line,huh?

niyot124:


Hmmm .

So you are saying you have never turned down a girl? Honestly?

No, i haven't. If she explicitly makes the move, i won't turn her down.

But then most times I have to wait and study a her body language. Just to be sure she girl wants to get down, before making my move else i risk being called a pervert.

niyot124:


Lol,i would definitely support if you go for Mr Nigeria. .

As for what I see in you, come on,you are cute now ,also what you said about your encounter with the girl got my attention.

I was on dread too, not natural tho,loosened it recently. I think it's so cool and natural.

So whatcha doing outside the motherland anyway?

My dreads is natural my beauty stylist actual called me asking me when am I coming back to Switch to permanent dreads told her i don't know lol u got no pic via your profile I would love to see your dreads.about the girl it's been 4 years now but there are things we can't forget as human.

Came to live , survive and have a better life ...so far so good thanking God for is grace

harsysky:


Guys like you are difficult to come by. I respect. I truely do cos when I was in that shoe, I succombed. Now, I just dnt allow the devil in the same ring with me. #respect

Hoping really hard not to sound off as one who's blowing his own trumpet, my core strength is the realization that sex has spiritual (and later physical) implications. This knowledge guides me because whoever a man sleeps with, know it that there is some sort of spiritual connection, an unseen bond which could be positive or regrettably negative. It's what the bible describes as BEING ONE FLESH with your partner.

This is why SEX is the greatest weapon the forces of darkness use to disgrace great men of God and pull down their ministries. Examples abound all around us.