i have been in relationship for 9yrs now and i dont like it.i love my gf and she apparently loves me too.we could have got married but their is no money to start off, and we are both not ready to leave other.if i am to advice anyone, i will rather tell him/her to enjoy his frienship without any comitment until they are both financially ready

The risk about an absence of committment is that you wake up one day and find out that your girl is wedding someone else. and you want to confront her? she tells you that you never made your intentions clearly known. she cant preempt you, you know. so guy, that is the risk you stand. where there is mutual understanding, not only of yourselves but of the events of life, both can be really patient till the financial due date comes. my two cents

If you really love her and wish to marry I suggest you tell her so. Then both of your can be committed and plan towards marriage.

HBABE AND LETUSTALK i appreciate your comments.the issue is that we are both known in each other's houses.the issue is that i am discouraging comitment in relationship without the two parties being financially ready.in case of our own,had it been there hasnt been any comitment, the love wont be this strong and itell you i would have married a lady who has a job and can compliment my effort at home and my fiancee too would have married to someone who can take care of her till she is out of school.we are both together now simply because we respect each other's comitment, the only thing that is still keeping us together.

Did u mean hw old or hw long. Rephrase your question dude. . See dis guy o, u wan use style dump d girl, but don't no how 2 go about it. Na wa o.

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Well like you stated; money is an issue; you must be finically balanced before thinking about getting married; most women aren’t ready to move into their husbands house tasting the bitter pills of life; so if you ask me, I’d say make money before you get married.


But then I would agree with what letustalk said, to be honest, his comment made a lot of sense;

When you don’t make any commitment, you leave the girl in the middle of nowhere, and believe me, she won’t turn down any proposal she receives from the guy next door.

Finally, how long a couple courts each other before getting married shouldn’t be an issue; marriage isn’t something you rush into; both parties must be prepared and ready before making that leap.

i really apreciate all te comments.te issue is that i am siting my own case as an example.the two of us are tied together by the promises we have made to each other.we love and respect each other no doubt,but all i am sayin is that you shuold not commit yourself in a relationsip you are not financially capable of handlin.
Also, i know that you dont need so much money to start a home, i am sayin that even the litle you need is not even there.the last thin i will ever settle down for is to marry into my family house,where my mum and oter tenants are. if you are in a relationsip, dont show any commitment until you are financially ready.thats my message

Marriage is an institution ordained by GOD.i don't believe in long time courtship because you can never in totally what your partner is made up of.from the day you met each other till you grow old and eventually die you keep learning one new thing or the other about yourselves.Just look up to GOD, be faithful to each other and let trust and honesty be the foundation of your relationship.GOD bless you.

9 years is really a long time for a committed relationship. I don't believe in courting for too long. Ever heard the saying "Familiarity breeds contempt". No matter how long a relationship is, one would not be able to fully know a person a 100% and moreover, people change. 3-5 years at most is a good time to court and engage and get married in my opinion.

I really dont know why nigerian weddings have to be an elaborate diplay of wealth.
u can get married for under #1000, I am sure you both can afford that. wedding is a day or two, marriage is a lifetime. the lifetime should be your main focus, not the day. you guys can do a little court wedding, something little with just your parents. you can always have the elaborate ceremony latter when you have more money.

@german007. you really understand ma msg to the root. i thank you for your encouragement.i really aprct you.thanks a lot.
And to every other contributors, i thank you all.

german007:

@Labalaba.

Very true . Like i said earlier.

Interesting topic.



You dont have to be a millionaire to get married. This is the attitude of our nigerian culture , we want a big massive wedding wey we go call King sunny ade or Onyeka onwenu, make everybody noh say nah big man dey marry. Im 28 . I got married at 27 by simply doin a court marriage and inviting very close friends, our parents and siblings. Yes I will be doing a white wedding soon by God grace, but once we can easily afford to ,without financially straining myself or getting married and being broke the next month.

I was dating my wife for 4 yrs prior to us getting married.
Marriage itself is an institution ordained by God. And believe me its bring blessing, upon blessing, upon blessing. My life is 20 times more blessed, and so is my wife's

An explanation for this is that, Both of you are more commited to each other and work together like a team, and as you know two heads are better than one. You become a lot more responsible focused and determined and infact set your priorities straight.


Regards

well said