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Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by oluwalewis(m): 6:42am On Sep 27, 2016
Nancy2016:


So true. Most kids of divorced parents will tell you this. Who wants to be in a family where the parents are always fighting and in some cases they hear their mom being beaten by their dad? A friend of mine was getting married and her parents had to be seated at different tables because they couldn't put their differences aside for a couple of hours. Funnily, they are still married and live in the same house.

They will be the one to counsel young couples, let them kip deceivin themselves. Gone are those days wen men treat their wives as slaves and wives believe they must suffer for men's irresponsibilities.
If u can't take the heat get out of the kitchen before he/she kills u

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 7:06am On Sep 27, 2016
Nancy2016:


What did your brother do? When a woman has had enough, no amount of begging will make her change her mind.
it's just the occasional misunderstanding between couples which most times were caused by the mother of the girl due to her undue meddlings in the marriage. Anyway, she has achieved her aims and the marriage has hit the rocks
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Creamish(f): 8:13am On Sep 27, 2016
Nancy2016:


majority of girls raised by both parents are even more wayward:

This is not true. While I don't agree with the OP, I think this statement is totally false. Families where there are both parents tend to have a higher income than single-parent families. Therefore, the children tend to have a greater allowance and thus lesser need to sell their bodies. Also there is a likelihood that discipline will be tighter due to both parents sharing responsibilities.

If only they will bother to conduct an actual survey instead of basing their arguments on hearsay.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by joseph1832(m): 8:40am On Sep 27, 2016
Nancy2016:


majority of girls raised by both parents are even more wayward:

This is not true. While I don't agree with the OP, I think this statement is totally false. Families where there are both parents tend to have a higher income than single-parent families. Therefore, the children tend to have a greater allowance and thus lesser need to sell their bodies. Also there is a likelihood that discipline will be tighter due to both parents sharing responsibilities.
Not always true. Some families like that still earn less, as may the man or in some case, woman is th sole provider.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 12:33pm On Sep 27, 2016
CuteMorriz:
abeg make I hear word...last time I checked how many women earn more than their husbands? Even those that did earn still push most responsibility to the husband...abeg eeee....start to earn big first...who woman money epp...
You don't have any statistics or proof to back that up and I am very sure your type would take a woman's money without thinking twice! Hypocrite! undecided

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 12:49pm On Sep 27, 2016
Trina0936:

You don't have any statistics or proof to back that up and I am very sure your type would take a woman's money without thinking twice! Hypocrite! undecided
Taaaah....on a more serious note how many ladies earn much? Very few...is it those secretaries, front desk officers, merchandisers, marketers, cashiers, customer service et al...the very few in consulting, core banking, medicine are already married before they are 26...unless you are talking about the iyarugbos who are not married and are often above 33 (not my portion though)....so ...when people talk about young girls having morning is it the 68k salary...?taaaaaah...make I hear word...money wey them dey exhaust before month end.....tah

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 1:15pm On Sep 27, 2016
CuteMorriz:
Taaaah....on a more serious note how many ladies earn much? Very few...is it those secretaries, front desk officers, merchandisers, marketers, cashiers, customer service et al...the very few in consulting, core banking, medicine are already married before they are 26...unless you are talking about the iyarugbos who are not married and are often above 33 (not my portion though)....so ...when people talk about young girls having morning is it the 68k salary...?taaaaaah...make I hear word...money wey them dey exhaust before month end.....tah
You already proved with this reply that you are indeed an immature kid as everyone has attested to on this thread. Grow up undecided

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 1:47pm On Sep 27, 2016
Trina0936:

You already proved with this reply that you are indeed an immature kid as everyone has attested to on this thread. Grow up undecided
it is a norm even at work when you tell people the obvious truth they seek cover and shield themselves with the matured/immature trash...yawns...let me enlighten you...I am a contract staff with an fmcg (project engineer) in the whole engineering dept females don't work there...in fact in most fmcgs females don't work in production and barely works in engineering.(that is where you get paid for over time and target bonus)...now if you move to admin sales and all...the young female sales trainee is between 21-25 years and as trainee they earn less than 100k (no thanks to recession and slash in salaries) or less...when the get to junior sales analyst they already in their mid to late twenties...at that point the good ones are all picked...the remaining become iyarugbos...I did my IT with gtb same thing is applicable. The ND's (45k) and the HND's 68k...those that came in as ETs (210k) then were all taken...and they were very FEW. I met 3 batches of ETs before I left and in the second batch just a female. I had tried my hands with KPMG during NYSC and during the assessment centre we were 16 divided into 2 groups...in the first group 1 female, mine none. Although I fell out at the partner interview...so what is the population of females who are young and are high earners? Yes some earn high what is their age again? They prolly worked hard/smart and climbed through the ranks. How old are they? Abeg make I hear word...who woman money epp?...sharwama and boxers...lol grin

3 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 2:07pm On Sep 27, 2016
CuteMorriz:
it is a norm even at work when you tell people the obvious truth they seek cover and shield themselves with the matured/immature trash...yawns...let me enlighten you...I am a contract staff with an fmcg (project engineer) in the whole engineering dept females don't work there...in fact in most fmcgs females don't work in production and barely works in engineering.(that is where you get paid for over time and target bonus)...now if you move to admin sales and all...the young female sales trainee is between 21-25 years and as trainee they earn less than 100k (no thanks to recession and slash in salaries) or less...when the get to junior sales analyst they already in their mid to late twenties...at that point the good ones are all picked...the remaining become iyarugbos...I did my IT with gtb same thing is applicable. The ND's (45k) and the HND's 68k...those that came in as ETs (210k) then were all taken...and they were very FEW. I met 3 batches of ETs before I left and in the second batch just a female. I had tried my hands with KPMG during NYSC and during the assessment centre we were 16 divided into 2 groups...in the first group 1 female, mine none. Although I fell out at the partner interview...so what is the population of females who are young and are high earners? Yes some earn high what is their age again? They prolly worked hard/smart and climbed through the ranks. How old are they? Abeg make I hear word...who woman money epp?...sharwama and boxers...lol grin
You haven't even seen half of life yet so quit telling us your life story. We have better things to do than listen to the story of your life. You are still immature and it has nothing to do with age. Once again,grow up! tongue

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by pcguru1(m): 2:15pm On Sep 27, 2016
CuteMorriz:
I am not saying ladies raised by single parents are all bad, you may get lucky finding some exceptional ladies raised by single mums. Evidently you seldom find single men raising a child but it's quite prevalent with the opposite sex.

A relation of mine was dating this lady and when the time came for the union to be made official, his parents advised him to discontinue becos after they had made enquiries and investigation they discovered the lady's mother left her husband many years ago over some frivolous reasons. Then I asked my uncle why did he side with family and not allow his son take the bold step then he said:

1. Women raised by single parent (mother) are usually strong willed hence may end up like their mother.

2. A lady who has seen no need for a father will be swift to end a union because she will have the courage to train her children alone afterall she was raised by a mum.

3. How will she get marital advice from her mum when things are tough and you know ladies often run to their mum when they need advice (remember the mother took the easy way out)

4. Sooner or later my son may become a bachelor again...the odd is high and is glaring..

5. A lady who have spent 21 years of her life without a father cannot be psychologically stable even if she appears to be.

6. Ladies raised by single parents did not experience the beautiful and ugly part of the union called marriage from her parents hence they don't have their parents as their role model.

7. Amin (as he fondly calls me) when the baton gets to you, look at the mother of your fiancèe closely because with time she will display those traits you observed in the mother......

Then I asked him what if the lady's father is dead and the mum decided to train her alone?...my uncle said we may also enquire about the untimely death of the father but "Amin that is a topic for another day"......

So what of people (make) like us raised by a single mother any judgement against us, anyway all what you wrote is your personal opinion, women still leave their husband and ruin their Marriages and they are from homes with both parents.

3 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 2:23pm On Sep 27, 2016
Trina0936:

You haven't even seen half of life yet so quit telling us your life story. We have better things to do than listen to the story of your life. You are still immature and it has nothing to do with age. Once again,grow up! tongue
lol...I came up with the statistics around me cos you claim my statements were vague now I gave you facts. You can also make enquiries...o o o...now it's no longer statistics it is about exposure and seeing life...? Huh? Babe na wa for you...you can change like APC...
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 2:28pm On Sep 27, 2016
CuteMorriz:
lol...I came up with the statistics around me cos you claim my statements were vague now I gave you facts. You can also make enquiries...o o o...now it's no longer statistics it is about exposure and seeing life...? Huh? Babe na wa for you...you can change like APC...
But its true. You can't use just one scenario to judge. Besides, what do you even know about life,you are just below 30. While life begins at 40 according to a popular adage! Bros,you need to get to certain age and move around before you can start drawing conclusions, once more your statistics are flawed. undecided

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by bukatyne(f): 2:38pm On Sep 27, 2016
Timbuktou:


Polygamous homes, single parents homes(especially single mother homes) have the distinct feature of a usually absentee father, hence, children are left worse off. Not to say all single parent or polygamous homes are guilty for suppplying society with deviants, but they do supply the most and disproportionately too. Prostitutes and criminals are more likely to come from such arrangements where there is no strong father figure. 70℅ of prison inmates in Nigeria are products of fatherlessness. Feel free to look it up.

Having said that, victims of these situations do not have any right to demand that others overlook what could be considered possible effects of their flawed upbringing. People have the right to consider if the person they want to "live the rest of their life with" will go the whole way or drop out like mummy or daddy did, or that the causes for the split of their parents will not rear their heads up in their own marriage.

I, for one, would strongly counsel my children to stay away from such people. If they are adamant, they must make sure there are no lingering after effects or carried over sleeper bombs (hopefully). You can't come and tell me a couple of years later that, you were wrong. Nobody wants their children to choose a damaged spouse or see their children go through a divorce.

@Topic:

I thought you were unmarried and have a son?

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Efewestern: 2:52pm On Sep 27, 2016
PaperLace:

I wonder why anyone would sit in his house and tell me not to get emotional_ psychic much?
You can't even answer simple questions, yet you claim to be logical. If you're that logical, you would know those questions are a subliminal way of telling you, it takes a couple for a marriage to work. Majority of the threads here on NL complaining of bad wives (that's me trying to FOCUS), I haven't seen any_ where it was stated that the wife was brought up by a single mum.
Sooo, what went wrong Mr Logic?

Do you know Nigeria's population? I ask once again.
You met just one lady raised by a single mum, out of millions of Nigerians and you run to NL to create thread...as statistician you be ba?

There are few single dads you say?
Jointly made, jointly owned.
'but somehow the woman gets to be stuck with the kids, most times doesn't get married again, raises them to be strong independent people and you think you can rule them out without giving them a chance? Who exactly are you, Uncle?

I am not 'empathising' with anyone but I know what it takes to train a child. Anyone who does that (independently) gets my support.
Now, go back and answer my questions, stop looking for supporters grin.

Can i give you a kiss ? You nailed it.. Couldn't reply d op.. don't have his time.. and yea am a Male.. so not all guys think like that.

#Peace

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 3:28pm On Sep 27, 2016
Trina0936:

But its true. You can't use just one scenario to judge. Besides, what do you even know about life,you are just below 30. While life begins at 40 according to a popular adage! Bros,you need to get to certain age and move around before you can start drawing conclusions, once more your statistics are flawed. undecided
I would have really loved to meet you in person...you were the one who said age has nothing to do with maturity...check ur previous post...what else can I say...you are quite slippery...
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 3:33pm On Sep 27, 2016
bukatyne:


@Topic:

I thought you were unmarried and have a son?

And?
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 5:27pm On Sep 27, 2016
CuteMorriz:
I would have really loved to meet you in person...you were the one who said age has nothing to do with maturity...check ur previous post...what else can I say...you are quite slippery...
There is a huge difference between maturity and experience even though they correlate.
One can be young,experienced and immature as well as inexperienced and mature.
I was actually viewing experience from the age angle ie the longer you live,the more experience you get; doesn't necessarily make one mature in character and reasoning though.

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 5:32pm On Sep 27, 2016
Trina0936:

There is a huge difference between maturity and experience even though they correlate.
One can be young,experienced and immature as well as inexperienced and mature.
I was actually viewing experience from the age angle ie the longer you live,the more experience you get; doesn't necessarily make one mature in character and reasoning though.
you will make a good solicitor...
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 5:37pm On Sep 27, 2016
CuteMorriz:
you will make a good solicitor...
Unfortunately I prefer playing with people's intelligence grin
Makes for a good sales person/marketer. grin

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Mindfulness: 7:42pm On Sep 27, 2016
bukatyne:


@Topic:

I thought you were unmarried and have a son?

gringringrin
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Iffffffy(f): 10:55pm On Sep 27, 2016
LadyMercedes:
[s][/s]
What a shallow school of thought!
very shallow

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by cyndyzuriks(f): 12:01pm On Sep 28, 2016
Timbuktou:
The thread title is a little too simplistic and ven though it may have some merit. It would have been better framed as a quite risky to marry someone raised by a single parent or from a broken home.

you are right! the way we write matters a lot, choice of words always makes a difference.

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by twinklestar(m): 3:57pm On Sep 28, 2016
Dfinex:


Yes oo. personally I was so shocked that I didn't even know what to make of the write up: if it should be called xenophobia or misogyny. ....such a one-track mind!!!
I dey laugh @ 'one track mind' . When people attribute societal failures hastily to non-empirical oddities, you only wonder where the 'simplistic' conclusion emanated. In this case, misogyny is a tip of the iceberg.
Funny enough, OP might be oblivious of his 'attitudinal definition'. One would think OP has low self esteem, thus he's afraid of getting entangled with an independent and bold lady. The single parent story is just a smoke screen
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Teespice(f): 7:29pm On Sep 28, 2016
don't marry a divorcee

don't marry a single mother

don't marry a girl raised by a single parent.

she's single, it's a problem.

with all these stereotypes, tell me why there won't be a rise in the number of single women available.

it is well.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by bukatyne(f): 1:12am On Sep 30, 2016
Timbuktou:


And?

I am wondering why you would want your son discriminated against.

3 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Jimi23(m): 4:47am On Sep 30, 2016
CuteMorriz:
your opinion though...but what an elder statesman see while seating...even if you stand at the peak of everest you may not see...

Thats not an elder states man. Thats a biased old man who cant even tell the fate of his own daughter or grand daughter's future. Which woman wants to become a single mum?
If his own daughter becomes a single mum by no fault of hers i'm sure he will not say all that crap about his grand daughter. Ur uncle lacks wisdom. He is a dum-b, evil old man.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by chillbabe(f): 5:15am On Sep 30, 2016
Ini Edo and Tiwa where they not raised by both parents? How did theirs pan out!!! If it's not tribe it's religion now it's single mom's. Nairaland guys are something else.
cindyrocks:
Tuface Idibia's wife Annie was raised by a single mum and she is still happily married to Tubaba despite his short comings.


Nairaland boys always looking for excuses to hate ladies.

Mind you I am not from a broken home.

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 6:12am On Sep 30, 2016
Jimi23:


Thats not an elder states man. Thats a biased old man who cant even tell the fate of his own daughter or grand daughter's future. Which woman wants to become a single mum?
If his own daughter becomes a single mum by no fault of hers i'm sure he will not say all that crap about his grand daughter. Ur uncle lacks wisdom. He is a dum-b, evil old man.
shatttap ya mouth little jimi...don't spit out ignorance about a man you barely know....

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Jimi23(m): 8:42am On Sep 30, 2016
CuteMorriz:
shatttap ya mouth little jimi...don't spit out ignorance about a man you barely know....

Tell ur uncle he is an old shallow nitwi-t.

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by doctor5050: 12:11pm On Sep 30, 2016
Trina0936:

You haven't even seen half of life yet so quit telling us your life story. We have better things to do than listen to the story of your life. You are still immature and it has nothing to do with age. Once again,grow up! tongue
hi,what were the questions like?
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 12:58pm On Sep 30, 2016
Most Nairalanders just love to complicate their lives and confuse themselves with all kinds of rules and regulations governing matters of the heart.. Y'all never cease to amaze me sha cheesy grin
Oh jeez!

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 1:21pm On Sep 30, 2016
bukatyne:


I am wondering why you would want your son discriminated against.

My thoughts on this thread are as close to my beliefs as possible. Should my beliefs change because my son appears to fall on the wrong side of them? Would it be alright to have my beliefs if my son wasn't in that demographic? Some of us try to be dispassionate, you know. Especially when the stakes are very high as in the case of marriage. grin

Anyway, you would have to show me where I asked for discrimination against these people. All I have advocated for is people be careful when marrying people in this demographic. wink

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