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Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by SamOgasco(m): 6:40pm On Sep 26, 2016
Koolking:
Unpardonable misconception in High Definition. I's pathetic how people feel it's ok to force their subjective opinions on others.

This subject happened to be the wrong, wronger and wrongest opinion I have heard for the first time in a long time.

Wrong to your face cause you never experienced one. And I pray you never experience such a lady as well. Even just being in a relationship with them na dia, let alone to enter into a marriage with such. Omo that one na hell, except God's intervene.... Omo like I said, I never pray you encounter one...

Not all of them are like that though, but majority of them are like that.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by AmazinJoee(m): 6:40pm On Sep 26, 2016
i hve always had this notion in mind my brother . i see some logic in ur write up.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Efewestern: 6:41pm On Sep 26, 2016
PaperLace:


oh...hush it and don't play that gender card with me.
I asked you a simple question Mr Logic, ain't they better than people brought up by abusive parents?
Yes or No?
What of men brought up by single mothers?
Women brought up by single dads?
The ones brought up by two abusive parents?

I think you're the one that lacks logical reasoning, you expect everyone to come in and agree with you?
So much for a logical man.

Maybe the single mothers should have thrown away the child. Do you guys even remember Nigeria's population before churning out these preposterous and facile assertions? ?

What is even your definition of single mum?
A widow?
Divorcee?
Never been married mother?

Reading wat d op said made me wanna run mad.. I really don't get.. Why d hasty generalization .. To me i can marry any woman.. i just Need a GOOD WIFE

3 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Ghost447(m): 6:41pm On Sep 26, 2016
twinklestar:

This write-up is an absolute nonsense created from a shallow and parochial observation. To declare a bleak future outlook and rubbish the marital aspiration of any lady due to her challenging background reeks of a repugnant thought process. It is thesame reprehensible, uncanny reasoning that has held back the development and consolidation of our national potentials across different ethinic lines.
At best, your deductions and conclusion are very stereotyped
If you're accused for stealing, the best thing to do is to prove that your accuser(s) is wrong, but if you start insulting your accuser people will believe the accusation.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by agobentim: 6:42pm On Sep 26, 2016
The only thing I have to say on this matter is, that the writer and his uncle are not informed, they are myopic and acting cerebrally mutilated. How can you judge who will stay in a marriage by that yard stick. What of those who their parents still live together but have divorced up to 2 men. I'm a guy and grew up in a broken home but I have never defaulted in a relationship and my prayer is to marry a girl from a broken home because they are stronger in marriage and relationships. Reason, they don't want their children to go through what they experience. Please you and your uncle need serious deliverance. Call me advice 08022210700, 08091862754

9 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 6:43pm On Sep 26, 2016
I do not agree with you, majority of girls raised by both parents are even more wayward, while d ones raise by one parent are very strong, they love been independent, they support their husband becos dy are strong physically and mentally, they do well in life becos some of them want to prove to their father who might have abandoned them DAT dy can become somebody good in life, they are motivated positively becos dy av faced so many challenges, they will always miss their dad and they will not want their children to experience what dy av gone true.

5 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 6:43pm On Sep 26, 2016
Timbuktou:
The thread title is a little too simplistic and ven though it may have some merit. It would have been better framed as a quite risky to marry someone raised by a single parent or from a broken home.
I'm quoting you because I see wisdom when you drop your comments smiley. Now my question is, what do you have to say about those raised by their grandmas
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by abike12(f): 6:44pm On Sep 26, 2016
This makes no sense
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by SamOgasco(m): 6:45pm On Sep 26, 2016
odogwu2007:
This is 100% so true. I know of one and it's as if you where talking about her. But that don't mean u can't married them, if u really love the lady in question why not but u will have to endure

Abi oooooo. That is just the right word and to right step to take with such a lady. I mean the word "endure" as used by you up there.

A thumb up for you dear. You just spoke my mind.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by brainpower(m): 6:45pm On Sep 26, 2016
CuteMorriz:
I am not saying ladies raised by single parents are all bad, you may get lucky finding some exceptional ladies raised by single mums. Evidently you seldom find single men raising a child but it's quite prevalent with the opposite sex.

A relation of mine was dating this lady and when the time came for the union to be made official, his parents advised him to discontinue becos after they had made enquiries and investigation they discovered the lady's mother left her husband many years ago over some frivolous reasons. Then I asked my uncle why did he side with family and not allow his son take the bold step then he said:

1. Women raised by single parent (mother) are usually strong willed hence may end up like their mother.

2. A lady who has seen no need for a father will be swift to end a union because she will have the courage to train her children alone afterall she was raised by a mum.

3. How will she get marital advice from her mum when things are tough and you know ladies often run to their mum when they need advice (remember the mother took the easy way out)

4. Sooner or later my son may become a bachelor again...the odd is high and is glaring..

5. A lady who have spent 21 years of her life without a father cannot be psychologically stable even if she appears to be.

6. Ladies raised by single parents did not experience the beautiful and ugly part of the union called marriage from her parents hence they don't have their parents as their role model.

7. Amin (as he fondly calls me) when the baton gets to you, look at the mother of your fiancèe closely because with time she will display those traits you observed in the mother......

Then I asked him what if the lady's father is dead and the mum decided to train her alone?...my uncle said we may also enquire about the untimely death of the father but "Amin that is a topic for another day"......





I have never felt as angry about a thread as I feel about this. The OP or any other person that thinks this way no matter how old he is, doesn't have any business advising anyone.
I was raised by my mom, actually we are 5 in number and there 2 females. No one turned out the way you are explaining.

Did you ever consider that the man was the one that pushed her out?

What about the fact that as a responsible mother, she will keep teaching her daughters how to behave, even if she was bad, don't you think she must have learnt her lessons and as such will advice her daughter on how to behave well?

Even the daughter herself over the years must have learnt the disadvantages of not living with a father?

You are actually insinuating that the guys that grew up with their mother will treat their wives bad just because their father didn't teach them how to love women.

Which is worse, growing up in a polygamous home or being trained by a single mum?

I pray you nothing happens to you before your time so that your daughters won't be tagged bad for marriage.

10 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by olayinkajnr(m): 6:45pm On Sep 26, 2016
SamOgasco:


You're right. And they are kind of proved uncontrollable as well. They will never yield to any form of correction as well, they seems to know it all as well. People people like them always find it difficult to apologize even when they are 100% wrong and obviously at fault as well.

Damn, you are totally right. I couldn't have said it better. Before, I used to allow whatever she says or do get to me, to the extent that I get totally down. But now, I don't give a damn, I granted her the wish of having to break up with her. No more worries......... They are used to saying this kinda sentence "I don't care what will happen, let my PRIDE take me anywhere"
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 6:46pm On Sep 26, 2016
Trina0936:

Cowards are always scared of independent and confident women that's why y'all go for weaklings and doormats so you can validate your feigned superiority. Real men don't need any validation from women. They know who they are and know how to command respect.
Deal with it undecided


Lol.

I just summarize weiten op talk.

Face op not me biko grin
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by olayinkajnr(m): 6:46pm On Sep 26, 2016
niggi4life:
90% of my Ex GFs and female friends who were raised by sinlge parent are not yet married and some are over 30yrs.
The 10% who are into relationships or married are usually rude and they are too quick to judge the guys easily.

I am not blaming anyone here, it's just what i have observed.

100% correct based on what I went and still going through
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Arthurwinner(m): 6:46pm On Sep 26, 2016
Ghost447:
Let's hear your perception please.

is based on individuality,and since they are brought up like they will know the real important of complete family because they know what they missed and someone in her right sense will not want her children to experience such.

hope I answered your question
takes deep breath

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by sekem: 6:47pm On Sep 26, 2016
CuteMorriz:
lol...don't get emotional...I was not trying to make comparisons...with abusive parents et al...I can see you are trying to empathise with single mums...just see the topic the way it is don't try to modify...

Are you kidding me?

Don't tell me you can't still see it yet.

The girl is getting emotional because the post is all about her.

She knows it and that's why she's getting so effing defensive and trying to make a comparison with the aim of creating a diversion.

Personally, I don't believe in popular opinion or generalization.

But in this case, if you take your time to study things closely, you will find that there are some examples here and there that support this claim.

Personally, I know a girl whose mom is a single mom. Today, she's divorced. She's now a single mom to her daughter...

If you ask me, I'll say that this single mom syndrome is perpetuated simply because the bitter mom will most probably be filling her daughters' heads with lots and lots of bad stories about men while the daughter is still young.

When the young girl grows up, she starts watching out for those 'faults' in all men.

And at the first sign of those 'faults', she's like: yes, mom said it!!!

And out, she bails!

And another single mom is created.

CuteMorriz if you noticed, the girl you were responding to has already mentioned that there's nothing good about men. Who do you think she learnt that from?

You now see what I'm saying?

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 6:48pm On Sep 26, 2016
Demigods666:



Lol.

I just summarize weiten op talk.

Face op not me biko grin
I go face you! You must talk why you dey fear independent women after na still una wey go call them ashawo if they are dependent.
Men are so confused! undecided

3 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Appareil(m): 6:48pm On Sep 26, 2016
oglalasioux:
Generalisations such as yours is the manure that nourishes prostitution among girls and criminality among boys raised by single parents.

When we segregate the society into people who deserve to live and those who deserve to die don't forget that those condemned to death will not go down alone. Oh Thank you so much for this response!

We should watch our mouths!
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Appareil(m): 6:50pm On Sep 26, 2016
Very biased write up!

5 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Dayg88(m): 6:50pm On Sep 26, 2016
goingape1:
if you find out that there are raise by single parent pls abort that mission.

those women are wayward and would put that same cursed on you.


she will later leave and repeat the same process again.

This is the dumbest response I have ever read on nairaland.com. Does a single parent always mean the mother?
What happens to guys raised by their fathers alone?
Or guys raised by their mothers?
I've seen kids raised by single parents more ''marryable'' than those who have both parents who raise them.
Its worth noting though, that kids of single parents will always have an/some orientation that is not ideal when it comes to relationships/marriage.

4 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Princelyod(m): 6:51pm On Sep 26, 2016
mecussey:
True to an extent, however some of the girls are super willing to prove to there mum that she does not have enough reason to leave there father hence, will manage there marriage by all means
then it would be a struggle...nothing natural as it should have been.There would be many low times,when that trait shows us its ugly head.Basically it will be a struggle all the way which might cause frequent strain in the relationship.It could really be an exhausting experience for the hubby.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Arthurwinner(m): 6:52pm On Sep 26, 2016
back2sender:

Its not an impaired perception, my uncle also said the same thing when i was getting to settle down. He advised i stay away from Ladies raised by a single parent - the mum secondly he mentioned before i marry a lady i should watch the lady mother closely because she is very likely to exhibit the same character as her mother.
If her mother is a trouble Maker or ride for instance she is most likely to be one

that's the difference in a persons
background and character

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by DeRay98(m): 6:53pm On Sep 26, 2016
Ladies raised by single never-married and divorced or left marriage early moms are the very example applicable here.
I have seen it from close quarters.
Its quite a different but better situation with widowed or late divorced single mom raised ladies.
This category of ladies have experienced to some extent full parental influence.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Appareil(m): 6:55pm On Sep 26, 2016
razortruth:
My brother, I was surprised too. If not that I went with the people that met her pastor, I wouldn't have believed it. I can mention her name and even the branch of the church but it's not necessary here
Okay
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by DeRay98(m): 6:56pm On Sep 26, 2016
sekem:


Are you kidding me?

Don't tell me you can't still see it yet.

The girl is getting emotional because the post is all about her.

She knows it and that's why she's getting so effing defensive and trying to make a comparison with the aim of creating a diversion.

Personally, I don't believe in popular opinion or generalization.

But in this case, if you take your time to study things closely, you will find that there are some examples here and there that support this claim.

Personally, I know a girl whose mom is a single mom. Today, she's divorced. She's now a single mom to her daughter...

If you ask me, I'll say that this single mom syndrome is perpetuated simply because the bitter mom will most probably be filling her daughters' heads with lots and lots of bad stories about men while the daughter is still young.

When the young girl grows up, she starts watching out for those 'faults' in all men.

And at the first sign of those 'faults', she's like: yes, mom said it!!!

And out, she bails!

And another single mom is created.

CuteMorriz if you noticed, the girl you were responding to has already mentioned that there's nothing good about men. Who do you think she learnt that from?

You see what I'm saying?

Ladies raised by single never-married and divorced or left marriage early moms are the very example applicable here.
I have seen it from close quarters.
Its quite a different but better situation with widowed or late divorced single mom raised ladies.
This category of ladies have experienced to some extent full parental influence.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by itzgbengene: 6:58pm On Sep 26, 2016
It's Quinn vs Cute morriz, 5-2 Quinn on d lead.

1 Like

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 6:59pm On Sep 26, 2016
Trina0936:

I go face you! You must talk why you dey fear independent women after na still una wey go call them ashawo if they are dependent.
Men are so confused! undecided


Lolz calm down Na why you they vex?

I am not afraid of any woman.

I can tame anyone in my hands.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by prettyzee11(f): 7:00pm On Sep 26, 2016
I actually don't want to comment on D's but is so disheartening to hear one judge others even when u don't know what they might have gone through. What do u even understand by single mother??
A. The widows
B.divorced
C.out of wedkuck
D. Raped cases... Etc

A.The widows, is it their wish to lost a dear soulmate they have had kids for? And if death eventually come knocking should they kill there offsprings too?
B.The Divorced, I have read severally about abusive marriages and we all read how some end up killed by their husband.this is as a result that they don't want to be called names by the society or their kids been mocked in future by people like most of u here.
C.Out of wedlock, most of us also know D's category in as much as am not encouraging this set of people but rather than aborting or even trying things that might end one life I kind of envy such people to have taken a bold step carrying DT child. But funny enough this kind of comparison is d reason y some of such calibers end up throwing d child away.
Lastly The Raped Cases,please what should people of D's category do? Should they go hang themselves or kill the child?
WELL ALL IN ALL B IT SINGLE MUM OR SINGLE DAD BROUGHTUP WE ALL SHOULD ENDEAVOR TO KNOW OUR WEAKNESS N WORK TOWARDS MAKING IT PERFECT FOR OUR FUTURE PARTNER. WE CANT CHOOSE OUR PARENT BUT CAN CHOOSE HOW TO BRING OUR CHILDREN UP. SAY NO TO CRITICISM, SAY NO TO ABUSE!!!

4 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Betapikin101: 7:06pm On Sep 26, 2016
It is only an idiosyncratic person that will agree with this kind of bullshit .those who come from a very good home nko and still end up with divorce. There is this adage in Yoruba that says if u are given birth to u need to reborn/rebirth urself. I have seen alot of ladies that are products of single mum thriving well in their marriage when God is not the foundation of the marriage it is bound to fail. The fact that u av not met the right lady for u does not mean shes not a good wife material.its funny how some guys talk as if they don't have background issues of which na their family devil dey dance azonto

4 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by goingape1: 7:07pm On Sep 26, 2016
Dayg88:


This is the dumbest response I have ever read on nairaland.com. Does a single parent always mean the mother?
What happens to guys raised by their fathers alone?
Or guys raised by their mothers?
I've seen kids raised by single parents more ''marryable'' than those who have both parents who raise them.
Its worth noting though, that kids of single parents will always have an/some orientation that is not ideal when it comes to relationships/marriage.

2 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 7:11pm On Sep 26, 2016
Demigods666:



Lolz calm down Na why you they vex?

I am not afraid of any woman.

I can tame anyone in my hands.

Na so. But you can't marry one who is independent and prolly earns more than you. If that isn't the height of cowardice,then what is?
This is why I can't marry a guy am richer than! He would always look for a way to blame his inferiority complex on me undecided

3 Likes

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Shym3xx: 7:16pm On Sep 26, 2016
SamOgasco:

Wrong to your face cause you never experienced one. And I pray you never experience such a lady as well. Even just being in a relationship with them na dia, let alone to enter into a marriage with such. Omo that one na hell, except God's intervene.... Omo like I said, I never pray you encounter one...

Not all of them are like that though, but majority of them are like that.

Lol.

I think your inclination is based more on perception than reality. The problem with most people is that they're close minded and linear like robots. At the end of the day, no matter the number of parents you had growing up - you're still an individual. There are loads of chics raised by two parents who were either sexually molested or physically abused by their dads growing up. And that also plays a role in their outlook. At least, those raised by single mums don't have to deal with the mental trauma these ones have to deal with.

You lot just need to be more flexible and adopt the culture of adaptability. People's experiences are different and once you can adapt to other people's experiences, you won't have a problem with them.

I've only been relationships with chics raised by single mums, despite the fact that I've checked loads of chics raised by both parents. They just stood out and got me on smash. And I won't trade it for anything else cos they made me grow fast. They also love hard and would move mountains for you, hence we're still very close.

Find yourself and stop discriminating against people. They're victims of circumstance and they didn't choose the space they were raised in.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 7:17pm On Sep 26, 2016
Trina0936:

Na so


Serious o.

grin

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