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Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by SirVintageCock: 9:58pm On Sep 26, 2016
This issue confuses me greatly cos a cousin of mine from a stable home got married to a girl from a stable home and they managed to spend 2 years of their married life together before divorcing.
So I maybe a little bit bias in my submissions.
Timbuktou:


Polygamous homes, single parents homes(especially single mother homes) have the distinct feature of a usually absentee father, hence, children are left worse off. Not to say all single parent or polygamous homes are guilty for suppplying society with deviants, but they do supply the most and disproportionately too. Prostitutes and criminals are more likely to come from such arrangements where there is no strong father figure. 70℅ of prison inmates in Nigeria are products of fatherlessness. Feel free to look it up.

Having said that, victims of these situations do not have any right to demand that others overlook what could be considered possible effects of their flawed upbringing. People have the right to consider if the person they want to "live the rest of their life with" will go the whole way or drop out like mummy or daddy did, or that the causes for the split of their parents will not rear their heads up in their own marriage.

I, for one, would strongly counsel my children to stay away from such people. If they are adamant, they must make sure there are no lingering after effects or carried over sleeper bombs (hopefully). You can't come and tell me a couple of years later that, you were wrong. Nobody wants their children to choose a damaged spouse or see their children go through a divorce.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 10:09pm On Sep 26, 2016
SirVintageCock:
This issue confuses me greatly cos a cousin of mine from a stable home got married to a girl from a stable home and they managed to spend 2 years of their married life together before divorcing.
So I maybe a little bit bias in my submissions.

Alas, even people from "stable homes" no longer know what it takes to stay long in marriage. You would be surprised what made them split is either or both of them not being happy in the marriage. An issue that can be solved by more dedication to each other.

When people say we are in a new age and as such the rules that applied to our parents/grandparents no longer apply to us, you know this generation is doomed. Is it any wonder why babymamahood is all the rage. Today's women actually actively seek to have children out of wedlock, because "they cannot deal with man drama". Even the married ones, many many of them are just looking for an excuse to divorce and live it up as they once did, all they are waiting for is the husband to do something so they say "I knew it" and bolt. grin grin

Good luck to our children. I hope they leave the world better than we found it.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 10:13pm On Sep 26, 2016
Trina0936:

Na so. But you can't marry one who is independent and prolly earns more than you. If that isn't the height of cowardice,then what is?
This is why I can't marry a guy am richer than! He would always look for a way to blame his inferiority complex on me undecided
abeg make I hear word...last time I checked how many women earn more than their husbands? Even those that did earn still push most responsibility to the husband...abeg eeee....start to earn big first...who woman money epp...

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by twinklestar(m): 10:22pm On Sep 26, 2016
Dfinex:


I dey tey u ee. ....see finishing, lolsss.
No mind me jare. I'm not one who attacks people on social media but the write-up in question just warranted severe admonition
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 10:23pm On Sep 26, 2016
Creamish:


....Seems u have selective understanding. Of course there are those who the parents try to raise right but end up wayward..it exists in all families..whether single parents or both parents. There are also daughters who grow up respectful under the tutelage of her single mom or dad or both parents. Why are u hellbent on pinning it on single moms alone?

Nwayz... U can stay away from them. It does not guarantee u a long lasting marriage as it is not d sole determinant of a healthy marriage. Whatever rocks ur boat.
from the opinion of people who aired their views I hope you could see that those in support gave real life experiences...I can count about 5...truth be told the probability of the marriage being a disaster is quite high
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 10:23pm On Sep 26, 2016
[quote author=Nancy2016 post=49698115]

[b]majority of the girls raised by both parents tends to be weak, lazy, always dependent.. those kind of people will suffocate their husband with burdens.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 10:43pm On Sep 26, 2016
NobleG1:


It seems your uncle is an illiterate or completely nuts! His reasons are totally absurd and illogical! His mentality is horrible. What your dumb uncle is saying is that every woman behaves and does exactly what their mother did in life, which is totally false.

Haven't he seen a man or woman who came from a very good home, whose parents are still together but he or she turns out to be terrible?
There are people who come from bad families but they turn out to be great people! There are orphans who are great people today.

Being a single mother is not a crime. That a mother is single doesn't necessarily mean it was her fault her relationship didn't last. What would your uncle say about a woman who was raised by a single father? What would he say about a woman who was raised by her mother and step-father? Take him to see a psychiatric.

And please, send him the url of this thread to read.



I hope you will ever get an uncle half as smart as him...did you read the last statement?
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Twerky101(f): 10:44pm On Sep 26, 2016
goingape1:
if you find out that there are raise by single parent pls abort that mission.

those women are wayward and would put that same cursed on you.


she will later leave and repeat the same process again.
I take it dat ur parents r still together abi? n dat it's because of your strength that they are both alive n together right? when did it become a sin to b raised by a single mother huh? was raised by one n m so proud of dat cos it might hav been worst, dat doesnt mean u better dan me cos ur were raised by both parents. for d part about them being wayward, u nt a saint so stop casting stones

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by goingape1: 10:54pm On Sep 26, 2016
Twerky101:

I take it dat ur parents r still together abi? n dat it's because of your strength that they are both alive n together right? when did it become a sin to b raised by a single mother huh? was raised by one n m so proud of dat cos it might hav been worst, dat doesnt mean u better dan me cos ur were raised by both parents. for d part about them being wayward, u nt a saint so stop casting stones
see what I'm talking about!

you people always get that pride and arrogant attitude.

don't think you are better! you are not the one to judge weather you are better than someone or not.

this attitude can be corrected when you have both parents! you only learn from one side and didn't learn from the other side and that's the problem we are facing with ya people.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by cococandy(f): 11:04pm On Sep 26, 2016
goingape1:
many of you saying boys raise by single mother on thread!.

let me tell you one thing ya don't know, boys raised by single mother often know there mother behaviour and won't tend to marry women like their mother because them want to avoid the trouble them go through by there mother.

you will never see them or can't never see them marry a lady raise by single parent because them can smell them from far (instinct)
so the boys turn out okay all by themselves with no input from their single mothers? How typical!

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by cococandy(f): 11:11pm On Sep 26, 2016
CuteMorriz:
creamish, cococandy, paperlace, cute hector...you see people who are in support of my opinion have real life experience of what am talking about you guys are just trying to be termed "rational"....
I'm very sure you've never seen real life scenarios of children raised by both parents who turned out bad. undecided

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by goingape1: 11:15pm On Sep 26, 2016
cococandy:
so the boys turn out okay all by themselves with no input from their single mothers? How typical!
yes!

so typical!
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by oluwalewis(m): 11:16pm On Sep 26, 2016
They say he who wears the shoe knws where it pinches,u shld av experienced what broken marriage kids go through before you post. They are better than those from unbroken marriage kids cos they knw the consequences of a broken home and wld be very careful not to make such mistakes except the dumb ones.
Besides,it's better to come from a broken home than to come from a non-broken home that has no peace.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Shym3xx: 11:16pm On Sep 26, 2016
Nancy2016:


I hope you do realize that it takes two make a baby. Also a woman can get pregnant the first time, so your premise that some of the single mothers are "love peddlers" is totally wrong. If that is the case what would you call the men?

Yes, it takes two to make a baby. But, if one party, which happens to always be at the receiving end of the consequences that come with it decides not to make it happen - it won't. So, as a woman (since women are naturally favoured with custody of the children except in isolated cases where the woman is unfit), you need to make better choices when it comes to who you're mating with. And take the necessary precautions, especially where the man isn't ready for a long term commitment. Then you also have cases where certain women think they can do it all by themselves, thus alienating the men. These folks need to start taking responsibilities for their own actions.

I see kids pushing kids everyday and you have to wonder why these people are so selfish/heartless/useless. And why they're putting innocent kids in that type of situation. You shouldn't have kids cos you can. Especially when you're only attracted to irresponsible men and you think having babies is a fashionable thing to do. I don't respect/support people who're like that.

I think the men are irresponsible but if the women who have more to lose don't open their legs - it wouldn't happen in the first place. And if you like opening your legs to all comers, since you've more to lose, you need to take the necessary precautionary measures at all times.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Twerky101(f): 11:22pm On Sep 26, 2016
goingape1:
see what I'm talking about!

you people always get that pride and arrogant attitude.

don't think you are better! you are not the one to judge weather you are better than someone or not.

this attitude can be corrected when you have both parents! you only learn from one side and didn't learn from the other side and that's the problem we are facing with ya people.

never said we were better ok.point of correction I learnt from both sides, stayed with my dad for a while before coming to stay with my mom, whatever I am now I owe it to her. n if a man thinks jxt because of who raised me he wouldn't get married to me then he missed out.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by goingape1: 11:33pm On Sep 26, 2016
Twerky101:

never said we were better ok.point of correction I learnt from both sides, stayed with my dad for a while before coming to stay with my mom, whatever I am now I owe it to her. n if a man thinks jxt because of who raised me he wouldn't get married to me then he missed out.


he is not the one who is missing out but you!

don't think you are some kind of special someone! there are a whole lot of more better people who he will find.

that particular pride is what is killing ya people.

I once dated a woman like you (indirect speech) because of her pride I leave her and she was even saying your kind of statement.

don't let pride to swallow you. that's why you have to learn from both side of the parent.

base on ya statement you never give any credit to ya dad and that's who you will get that sub conscious hatred for men.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by NobleG1(m): 11:38pm On Sep 26, 2016
CuteMorriz:
I hope you will ever get an uncle half as smart as him...did you read the last statement?

What last statement? I responded to your thread not any last statement.

I've smart uncles and they don't have insane mentality like yours.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Twerky101(f): 11:44pm On Sep 26, 2016
y'all saying u wouldn't marry someone from a broken marriage/someone raised from a single parent, let me ask u dis. wat should d mother do, when the husband disassociate himself from d marriage/wife? if nt to b strong for two n take Kia of her children, provide for them, protect them n pay their school fees. she would struggle day n night doing the jobs meant for d man combine with hers just to make sure her children gets quality education. or is she supposed to leave the children also just like d man did? if I turn out strong like her then dat will b a great achievement to me, that doesn't mean I wouldn't respect my husband buh it means that I would also deserve same respect in turn
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Bluette(f): 11:52pm On Sep 26, 2016
When kids create threads!

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by goingape1: 11:52pm On Sep 26, 2016
Twerky101:
y'all saying u wouldn't marry someone from a broken marriage/someone raised from a single parent, let me ask u dis. wat should d mother do, when the husband disassociate himself from d marriage/wife? if nt to b strong for two n take Kia of her children, provide for them, protect them n pay their school fees. she would struggle day n night doing the jobs meant for d man combine with hers just to make sure her children gets quality education. or is she supposed to leave the children also just like d man did? if I turn out strong like her then dat will b a great achievement to me, that doesn't mean I wouldn't respect my husband buh it means that I would also deserve same respect in turn
you are seeing it from only one perspective and that's The problem.

you don't deserved respect (no body deserved) but respect can be only earn.

you still have some flaws which I may not go into details but is left for you to see it and try to correct it before it is too late.

that's what I will only say to you for now.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Twerky101(f): 12:01am On Sep 27, 2016
goingape1:


he is not the one who is missing out but you!

don't think you are some kind of special someone! there are a whole lot of more better people who he will find.

that particular pride is what is killing ya people.

I once dated a woman like you (indirect speech) because of her pride I leave her and she was even saying your kind of statement.

don't let pride to swallow you. that's why you have to learn from both side of the parent.

base on ya statement you never give any credit to ya dad and that's who you will get that sub conscious hatred for men.
I have a lot of respect for my dad cos I had most of my best memories with him . my mom tot me how to be quite n respectful because that is how women are expected to be buh on the other hand I was tot to speak out and fight for myself by my dad .
it's nt abt pride buh I believe am special . I dnt have any hatred for guys cos I dnt hav any cause to be. u r d proud one thinking u better Dan someone else jxt cos ur parents are still together, who knows if they are just managing one another. u dated someone who left u n u here giving us a bias side of d story

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Twerky101(f): 12:07am On Sep 27, 2016
goingape1:
you are seeing it from only one perspective and that's The problem.

you don't deserved respect (no body deserved) but respect can be only earn.

you still have some flaws which I may not go into details but is left for you to see it and try to correct it before it is too late.

that's what I will only say to you for now.
respect is nt really earned it is given .u really bias in ur understanding, anyway everybody can't think alike. flaws r little compared to what u r showing.we r nt perfect
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by goingape1: 12:09am On Sep 27, 2016
Twerky101:

I have a lot of respect for my dad cos I had most of my best memories with him . my mom tot me how to be quite n respectful because that is how women are expected to be buh on the other hand I was tot to speak out and fight for myself by my dad .
it's nt abt pride buh I believe am special . I dnt have any hatred for guys cos I dnt hav any cause to be. u r d proud one thinking u better Dan someone else jxt cos ur parents are still together, who knows if they are just managing one another. u dated someone who left u n u here giving us a bias side of d story

your subconscious hatred and pride is taking place.

this is what the op is the talking about and you are showing it here.

anyway! the damage has already done. take heart.


have a nice day for I will go no further with ya for you have started to turning it to insult.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nancy2016: 12:13am On Sep 27, 2016
[quote author=EmpresFIDEL post=49699365][/quote]

Not true. Most girls who come from families where their mothers work, will be independent. For you to make such a statement shows that you view marriage as an opportunity for women to elevate their status by depending on well-to-do men. Nowadays marriage is more of a partnership and what each person brings to the table. Therefore, most wives either work or run a business. No need for their daughters to be wayward.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nancy2016: 12:18am On Sep 27, 2016
apache77:


spot on. i married my ex wife only 3yrs ago.last month we were divorced, in court! why? i still dont knw. i dated her for 7yrs married her for 2, seprated for one. she decided to end the marriage for very flimsy reasons..which to this day, i dnt knw.

shes 29,her dad died when she was 9,and her mother raised her alone for the next 17yrs before i married her. the mother disnt raise a finger to discourage her daughter from ending the marriage, seemed to even to support her.
e
when i was trying to resolve the matter sometime last year so it doewnt get to divorce..she famously told me: i shd loom at her very well, shes not one of those girls desperate to remain in a mans house.

i guessed she had grown up seeing her mother riase her alone

How can you in the same sentence say that your ex wife divorced you due to flimsy reasons, and then go on to say you don't even know what those reasons are? It just shows that you never acknowledged her grievances. How could you expect her to continue in a relationship where her voice wasn't heard and stuff she considered to be important, were considered inconsequential by her spouse?
Instead of holding a grudge and lamenting your divorce, you should do some self-introspection and reflect on how you contributed to the demise of your relationship. So that you won't make the same mistakes in your next relationship.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nancy2016: 12:33am On Sep 27, 2016
CuteMorriz:
from the opinion of people who aired their views I hope you could see that those in support gave real life experiences...I can count about 5...truth be told the probability of the marriage being a disaster is quite high

When you want to prove a point you can always find examples to back your beliefs. The people who warn against marrying from single-parent homes will constantly be on the lookout for divorces carried out by this group of people. I will just ask you one question: We know that nowadays there are a lot of divorces in our communities, are you saying that most of these divorcees are from single-parent homes?

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nancy2016: 12:40am On Sep 27, 2016
oluwalewis:

Besides,it's better to come from a broken home than to come from a non-broken home that has no peace.

So true. Most kids of divorced parents will tell you this. Who wants to be in a family where the parents are always fighting and in some cases they hear their mom being beaten by their dad? A friend of mine was getting married and her parents had to be seated at different tables because they couldn't put their differences aside for a couple of hours. Funnily, they are still married and live in the same house.

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by mecussey(m): 12:44am On Sep 27, 2016
Princelyod:
then it would be a struggle...nothing natural as it should have been.There would be many low times,when that trait shows us its ugly head.Basically it will be a struggle all the way which might cause frequent strain in the relationship.It could really be an exhausting experience for the hubby.

Like I answered the other guy, unless the girl did not miss her dad.
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by FTBOY: 1:07am On Sep 27, 2016
we can not generalize but this is me talking from experience. above average percentage of girls raised by single moms - divorcees and never-married, especially - are bound to have problem with men and, probably, end up single like their moms. it doesn't get better if the single mom is poor. and it gets even worse if daughter has neither brothers nor sisters. the child girl would be brought up in poverty, frustration, with no siblings and father figure.
it's a disaster!

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by CuteMorriz: 3:59am On Sep 27, 2016
NobleG1:


What last statement? I responded to your thread not any last statement.

I've smart uncles and they don't have insane mentality like yours.
get out...
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Dfinex(f): 5:39am On Sep 27, 2016
twinklestar:

No mind me jare. I'm not one who attacks people on social media but the write-up in question just warranted severe admonition

Yes oo. personally I was so shocked that I didn't even know what to make of the write up: if it should be called xenophobia or misogyny. ....such a one-track mind!!!

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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 5:47am On Sep 27, 2016
What of single parent homes where the father died in the children's infancy?

Should the girls also be stigmatised?

Men and foolishness sef

1 Like

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