my wife is cool.i dont think i am gonna cheat on her because she do what i want that doesnt mean she my slave .

u talking about this site ?

Yeah, this site. . . How do I make topics stop showing up in my unread replies section?

i was just search for a something about cinemas in  nigeria and it just gave me this site and i was like well its a good thing i can talk to people in homeland i really missed being home .

Donzman:

How do you unsubscribe from a thread anyway?

If you elected to be notified, by e-mail, of responses, just click on the link in the e-mail notification for a posted reply to the thread and select 'Yes' to the query on unsubscribing.

well i am new if u know any new things  about the site let me know too, Dare is my name.

wats up yall? hows home ?

How was home when you left it?

well cool anyway ?though we re praying for development.

Allright keep praying, I wonder where the minds and hands that will do the development are!

Well home is home,stagnant as ever!

the school system wasnt cool though,it took me 5 yrs in university for 4 yrs course and i didnt finished before i left and i am sure thats no more in nigeria now.

oh my God!

well talk to ya later!i ga to take a nap.

why wait to find out if he cheats repeatedly, a man who's cheated once can do it again and again.
I won't advise anyone to stay nor would i when i find out about the first cos it's not just about jealousy, but there are lots of STIs around.
Apart from HIV, there are all sorts of hepatitis which are just as bad and africans tend to overlook.
I'd pack my bags, so i can be healthy and stay alive for my kids

ThiefofHearts wrote:

Totally agree. Thing is I tend to admire those who are able to give the person, him/her their COMPLETE trust all over again despite that all, of course this is if they believe the person they are with will completely change because sometimes people take forgiveness as a weakness. Like it's a "well that was easy guess I can do it again" card.

I hear you. I think if you can find it within yourself to look past it and make peace with the situation, then good for you. But I don't necessarily have any general admiration for people who do it, partly because in many cases, I find that people usually stay in the situation when they lack a healthy amount of self esteem, (and sometimes for economic reasons or fear of the social stigmas people attach to divorce, especially for those living in Nigeria).
There are people who stay in a relationship after their partner cheats on them (and in unhappy marriages in general) because they're afraid of being alone and feel that they have to be in a relationship even if they're unhappy. I don't admire having such low self-esteem of yourself, not to mention that--if children are involved--they'll likely pick up on this and it'll likely affect their view of marriage as they grow up. (Although, I'm not saying this is the case for everyone who does it). But again, different strokes for different folks.

If a person knows they can't give their complete trust to the person again then they really shouldnt stay because that's just a waste of time for both people. There's no point if you're going to continue to have doubts about the person, become a paranoid stalker, continously using what happened in the past against them? It's bullshit. Might as well leave.
But if the person is sure that they can give their complete all again, then go ahead and have a try just pray that the person doesnt use the forgiveness as a sign that you would let him/her do anything.

right.

Trust is built! It's not like falling in love. Trust is built as events occur and as sound communication exists.

I really wonder how many marriages would've been left on earth if people were to walk out at the hit of a breaking news on cheating.

I don't advice anyone to leave instantly. It's almost bound to happen but you can still work things out. It's advisable to remain single instead if u can't stand a first news. I mean, you get married today and your spouse cheats on u 6 months down the line. You pregnant already, what d'u do? You just walk out? Hmmm! As much as I hate a man to cheat on me, I still find it strange to leave just like that. It all depends on how and why the whole thing happened.You can always work things out if the man isn't taking you for granted anyway.

BTW, is it forbidden for couples to use condom? As for STDs and co, why would a man/woman have sex with another without a condom?

As for me, the issue of getting married is like folktales to me at the moment. It's actually the last on my agenda. Sorry to say but it's true. If and if I eventually make up my mind to get married, I'm not planning to walk out of it immediately if the man cheated on me. If it continues, then that's a problem and when I make up my mind to leave, the man will have to run for his life 'cause planet earth won't contain both of us. It will be history!

Ummm. . . u over there. what's your name again? Papa D, I thought Nairaland Superman was a nuisance until u stepped in. You know, u just a waste to the society where u live in and a complete disgrace to all men for making such comments. What kind of girl have you got within your sorry 4 walls? Will you get out of here and go hang yourself. Idiot!

and you wonder why women go around all angry.

lol @ Papa D. By all means please cheat on your american woman. Keep in mind they dont hesitate in shooting people's heads off. Infact I pray that you do.

Obo.

Don't mind that good for nothing animal.

PapaD is just being realistic - in his own way and from his own experience. Every marriage is unique in its own way. I know it will be difficult for some to agree with PapaD. What worked for him may not work for others. You just have to find that man/woman with whom you're compatible with. It can be difficult and you may not get what you went out to get.

I know that mutual trust keeps marriage going for a long while. But the ability to forgive, tolerate and forbear each other in a union when things go wrong is probably the key to a lifelong marriage, filled with happiness and fulfilment.

That said, I have never cheated on my wife. And God help me, I will not do it. I asked her yesterday night what it is that I will do to make her leave me. And she said she will tolerate any of my shortcomings, but if I cheat on her (as in adultery, infidelity), I will destroy her emotionally and she will leave me, and not come home again. So, I will not cheat on her.

But this is my wife. Some women might tolerate cheating from their husbands (at whatever levels) but detest other misgivings from their husbands. But that's why we are different.

@ papa D

After reading your post, I must say that I am very much not impresssed by your post. As a man, it is your responsibility to help and assist the family in whatever way you can mention. Women have equal rights as men do, the issues of superiority should be damned from any married couples. Love is the major reason for marriage, I hope you know what it means(if you don't, you can always ask).

@Radiant & TOH

I understand the reason for the calling of names, and I don't blame you for expressing your feeling. But don't you think it is rather an inappropriate way or manner to prove someone wrong?. Let there be more sense of maturity in your post. Calling of names won't solve the question.

P.S. - Not all boys, guys, men are the same.

ono:

I asked her yesterday night what it is that I will do to make her leave me. And she said she will tolerate any of my shortcomings, but if I cheat on her (as in adultery, infidelity), I will destroy her emotionally and she will leave me, and not come home again. So, I will not cheat on her.

What were you expecting her to tell you? That she'll forgive you? Until it happens, God forbid but then we'll know if she'll actually leave or not.

Ope, pls stay out of this for now. Thanks!

ono:

PapaD is just being realistic - in his own way and from his own experience. Every marriage is
That said, I have never cheated on my wife. And God help me, I will not do it. I asked her yesterday night what it is that I will do to make her leave me. And she said she will tolerate any of my shortcomings, but if I cheat on her (as in adultery, infidelity), I will destroy her emotionally and she will leave me, and not come home again. So, I will not cheat on her.

Maybe we wouldnt have given that slowpoke such a hard time if he didnt make such stupid generalization. blah blah builder of the house, should be able to tolerate anything yada yada. Maybe for his own american wife (I can bet you he couldnt try that with her anyway) but to speak like it's some sort of truth. I dont think so.

as for you and your wife. Congrats
although it's kind of weird how you replied like oh, if she didnt give you such a reponse you would have considered cheating or something. It's like um does she have to tell you she'd be hurt before you know not to even consider stuff, i dont know. maybe Im just confuzzled abit.

Tiffy, I tell u eh, some people just talk as if they've just fallen from a mountain top. You're not confused.

Radiant:

Tiffy, I tell u eh, some people just talk as if they've just fallen from a mountain top. You're not confused.

You know what, I suggest you girls should just wait until you're ripe enough for marriage. Then lets hear your story, as in how you ''manage'' your marriage. Or are you both planning to remain singles all through your life?

Well, I was really surprise when she talked about cheating. I thot I'll hear something like  '''the day I raise my finger at her and beat her, or yelled at her and call her terrible names, thinks like that. Honestly, the impression I got after her reply was that she thinks I have the ''tendency'' of cheating on her and I felt pretty bad. So I told myself, I will not do it. I was a virging for 29 years before we got married. Could that be the reason for her fears? That because she's the only woman in my life, I might be tempted to look out of our home and go after other women?

Well, I've made up my mind, and I'm not going back. It will be difficult, I've come this far and have many ladies as friends, but I don't think the friendship will degenerate to the level of adultery.

Ono, abeg make I see road for here.

ono:


Well, I was really surprise when she talked about cheating. I thot I'll hear something like '''the day I raise my finger at hear and beat her, or yelled at her and call her terrible names, thinks like that. Honestly, the impression I got after her reply was that she thinks I have the ''tendency'' of cheating on her and I felt pretty bad. So I told myself, I will not do it. I was a virging for 29 years before we got married. Could that be the reason for her fears? That because she's the only woman in my life, I might be tempted to look out of our home and go after other women?

Well, I've made up my mind, and I'm not going back. It will be difficult, I've come this far and have many ladies as friends, but I don't think the friendship will degenerate to the level of adultery.

I've always found the word "ripe" gross. Sounds disgusting, what about you Rad?

anyway if you believe that we dont have the "right" to discuss such things cos we arent married then maybe you should have just ignore the thread. Again, i dont ahve any patience whatsoever for people trying to order me. Dont tell me what I can or cannot talk about. What the hell does status have to do with this question? Do we not already know ourselves, what we are willing to tolerate or accept from whoever? We're not retards, we know OURSELVES thus we're giving opinions on how WE would go about certain things
That really cant be so hard to comprehend now can it?

as for your wife, that's probably what she feels, maybe you've given her signs making her think that way


You should do a blood oath for her.  

Tiffy, I don't even want to start with that dude.

That I can put up with a man's uselessness for a while should never give you "men" the right to say rubbish here. Why don't you get married to teddybears or even robots? and see how easy life could be than come here so full of shit. Abeggg! Y'all don't even get me started.

"Ripe" your mango head.

@ThiefOfHearts


i completely agree with you, marriage is suppose to be forever, we both promise (in front of "god" family and friends to be faithfull, love and care for each other until death.

Then of course the lady have to have babies and is sick, and do not want to have sex, she is miserable because there is this big ass belly in front off her, she have piles, thrush,back ache, swollen ankles, head ache, vomitting FOR 9 MONTH AND SOME SUBBORN ASS BABIES CAN TAKE ANOTHER EXTRA TWO WEEK.
the man is suppose to understand all this and be quite caring  and FAITHFULL.

Then there is the birth about 8lb of head is forcing itself out of you, when that is over, there is the pain of being ripped apart, coupled with the pain of breast feeding, nipples sooooooooo sore that they bleed, no sleep because of a loud crying baby, and  obviously the man do not have breast, so, he can't wake up to change a nappy.


Now after i go through all off the above, i must also put up with the fact that he is sleepping with another woman, taking her ass out to dinner while i am at home covered in sick and piss. I DON'T THINK SO.  

arent women the most Hot during pregnancy though?

not all the time, my first pregnancy i loved it thought that all would be the same how wrong i was.


my last one i was SO sick i was hospitalize, i lost so much wait because i could not eat.



it is no walk in the park love.

u guyz should face fact and be practical.will be back in lil while

Be lost in the woods! Pig!