| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by EmilyNte1988(f): 8:43pm On Dec 05, 2016 |
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| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by Izen: 8:51pm On Dec 05, 2016 |
tunjilana:
Let me first correct an impression. You are not getting into marriage to gain from a man.
You are getting into marriage to pool resources (Physical,mental,spiritual,financial and psychological) together with a man, so that you both can leave great legacies for your kids and society. Simply put, you want greatness, you find a man that want same and you build together.
To answer your question, I do not judge my woman differently from my mother. Hence my taking you through my ancestry  (Even My uneducated great grandmother wasn't a stay-at-home, wait-on-my-husband mum. She was a known market woman, popular for her enterprise, same as my grandmother.
A woman should be confident, it is quite different from being heady,difficult,rude or proud...unfortunately I have seen a lot of women mistake bad attitude for confidence. When a woman is empowered, reasonable, easy-to-work-with, intellectually sound, she is an asset.
Have you asked what value you also add to a man's life if all you think you should offer is cook,clean et al, things that he will rather outsource if wealthy enough. I will prefer a woman who will think,work and build with me to be wealthy enough to afford a sound chef and dietician to the woman who wont help our financial life but can cook!!!
I believe in gender roles but seriously in 2016 every father should train up daughters to add financial value to themselves and ultimately their marriage. A man also sets direction and enforces discipline, he ensures kids are in line and makes sure they are moulded right. I guess that answers your question regarding what you(the family) gains
The book of proverb sums up a woman's role in financing a marriage as well
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
So will you marry a woman who is academically sound, good enterprise wise, etc even if she is not in any way domestic? Because by your description, you shouldn't expect anything from your wife. And come on, discipline? Really? That's what you have to offer? How do you even measure that? I mostly recall my mum being the champion of discipline lol. Discipline to me is mainly dependent on the personality and temperament of the parent involved and not based on gender. If both parents are disciplinarians, kasala don burst be that. And I hope the same way you belief daughters should be trained to be financially independent, sons too should be trained to stop thinking they are too superior for house chores. That's the major bone of contention for me. People want financially independent women but don't want domestically independent men. You quoted Proverbs forgetting that the bible doesn't hold it against women who don't provide as much, but refers to men who don't as 'worse than infidels'. Personally sha, I still believe a relationship is give & take. I must be adding something to you and at the same time receiving something in return. It's balanced that way. |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by stpat1(m): 8:52pm On Dec 05, 2016 |
gedtalks:
Another thing that is really confusing me is that most of the girls I've dated frequently ask for money..maybe because they see I'm working.. I really don't know if its the same thing all working class guys face. in fact honestly I see requesting as a Nigerian girls character.
this one girl is uniquely annoying me cos I want her to pay attention to more important things.. but she is not. I am really the one reading her. I am seeing a lot of her secrets. Contrarily she doesn't know ANYTHING about me.. she hasn't seen my bad part.. The only way she can discover this is when her interest is in SEEING AND KNOWING MORE. like I am reading her glutinous characters The question you should ask yourself is " why am I being attracted to broke chicks?" After you answer that question then you are close to the solution. Reasons can range from Their Age: Different age brackets act differently in terms of relationship Career: What does the person do? Academics, Trade etc Extent of dependency: How dependent or independent is she, who is she dependent on, how many are dependent on her etc? Where you met: e.g, A undergraduate you met on campus will act differently from a masters student you met on campus, or a chick you met in an office or her biz place etc. the factors are endless so you check yourself. 1 Like |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by oluwashedy: 9:11pm On Dec 05, 2016 |
gedtalks:
My people pleaseeee I need sincere advise here. Your advise will definitely guide me on the next step to take.
There is a beautiful girl I've been considering getting married to, but the way she requests money and fast food is making her look very ... lol.. "hungry" and opportunistic to me. The values she sees in a man seem to me like its basically what he will BUY for her. I confess that I made matters worse initially by "fast fooding" each time we meet... Now I think she sees me like a free lunch at crunchies. If I call her in the afternoon, she says I'm hungry.. its so irritating now.. in fact I lost a lot of regards for her..but she doesn't know yet.
Recently she asked me for some money and I refused very politely..she said she was "disappointed".
I wonder if she even loves any other thing about me asides the MONEY I WILL GIVE HER. she pays ABSOLUTELY NO attention the things I want her to see in me...like level of maturity, my leadership skills, I taught she was just being childish, but lately I discovered its just her nature. her ideology about a guy is WHAT WILL I GET FROM HIM.. I might dump her .. i wont even talk to her about it. please advise me Bros do the needful. My ex is exactly what you said. Let her off like a bad habit |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by henrimoto(m): 10:47pm On Dec 05, 2016 |
favourmic:
Tell her to Come forward! Come! Come! She should not be afraid, What is happening to her eh! It's not ordinary oh! God has remembered her today... Oyaa raise your hand up... Raise it up very well! Then bend it and place it on your head... Preferably where your mind tells you your brain is located... your stomach or your head. Then repeat this prayer after me... *My father! My father* Where ever they have buried my sense and my brain... *In my maternal village* *In my paternal village* *in the coven* Let them Vomit it now! Oya start shouting it with anger ! Shooooooouuuuuuut it  . Lolz..... crazy somebody. Lol 1 Like |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by jpphilips(m): 11:23am On Dec 06, 2016 |
Izen:
Lol, you've still not answered my question. If I'm providing for myself, what else will I gain from being married please? If we're being realistic, we would both agree that every relationship involves giving and taking at some point. So what will I have to gain from my husband if I'm taking care of myself by myself. Good d.I.c.k?
And when you say a man respects an empowered and level-headed woman, does it mean men don't appreciate the roles their mothers played in their lives besides finance? If they do, why then do they judge their mothers and potential wives differently? And does it also mean that men hate confident women? You know being confident and being proud can be easily misinterpreted as it usually is in most cases. And why is it okay for men to be confident but not women?
Finally, this is a personal question for you. Do you believe in gender roles? You want to gain from marriage? does marriage sound like an investment to you? what are you gaining in your father's house?
why do you think men hate confident women?
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| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by jpphilips(m): 11:29am On Dec 06, 2016 |
RaeMystix:
That's because she's paranoid that she might lose her free ticket. Imagine this. She is your fiance, yet all she does is ask for money and fast food. What happens when you both get married?. Won't she continue with such attitude?. Oh perhaps you're thinking she would stop her behavior?.
She also might just be using you for money without the intention of marrying you. Her accepting your marriage proposal does not make it a guarantee that she would end up marrying you. Even until the wedding day.
Still shocking why a soul that calls himself man is finding it hard to figure out something that simple. |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by RaeMystix: 3:19pm On Dec 06, 2016 |
jpphilips:
Still shocking why a soul that calls himself man is finding it hard to figure out something that simple. Well. Some men do think with their head and some their manhood. Won't be suprised if OP is suffering from #2. |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by Izen: 8:04am On Dec 29, 2016 |
jpphilips:
You want to gain from marriage? does marriage sound like an investment to you? what are you gaining in your father's house?
why do you think men hate confident women?
Oh, I should marry and not improve positively abi? Okay then, go marry a woman that'll drain you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Make sure you are the only one who keeps giving, making sacrifices and make compromises in the marriage. Don't ever demand anything from her, not even a meal. Shogbo? Come back and tell me how that works out for you. And yes, if I haven't gained more than enough in my father's house, I wouldn't be where I am today. |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by jpphilips(m): 9:45am On Dec 29, 2016 |
Izen:
Oh, I should marry and not improve positively abi? Okay then, go marry a woman that'll drain you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Make sure you are the only one who keeps giving, making sacrifices and make compromises in the marriage. Don't ever demand anything from her, not even a meal. Shogbo? Come back and tell me how that works out for you. And yes, if I haven't gained more than enough in my father's house, I wouldn't be where I am today. Marrying for upgrade? thats a new one. fvcking black people. |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by Izen: 4:30pm On Jan 11, 2017 |
jpphilips:
Marrying for upgrade? thats a new one.
fvcking black people. K  |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by chigoizie7(m): 7:41pm On Jan 11, 2017 |
Unfortunately, that's how 90% of them behave |
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| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by djgrafiti(m): 11:25pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
gedtalks:
Another thing that is really confusing me is that most of the girls I've dated frequently ask for money. I don't know if its the same thing all guys face. in fact honestly I see it as a Nigerian girls character.
this one is annoying me cos I want her to pay attention to more important things.. but she is not. I am really the one reading her. I am seeing a lot of her secrets. Contrarily she doesn't know ANYTHING about me.. she hasn't seen my bad part.. The only way she can discover this is when her interest is in SEEING AND KNOWING MORE. like I am reading her glutinous characters Maybe u used money to attract her,and she has gotten used to it,now u want to swerve...my advice"DON'T START WHAT U CAN'T FINISH". |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by hope4life: 10:46am On Dec 19, 2017 |
Maybe the word fiancee is from the word finance. |
| Re: My Fiancee Is All About Money And Fast Foods.. Pls Advise by mercy0008(f): 12:27pm On Dec 19, 2017 |
Are you single? my brother needs a wife. IamMissMarvel:
You are dating a girl and not a woman. Shikenan.
A woman would use the money you would have spent on fast food to cook you two or three different small portioned soups.
As a means of your appreciation, you'll buy her gifts even without her demanding it.
Most fast food and gifts demanding girls are unemployed so the only means to having their way is with men who are drooling after them.
Who fine geh help? Marry a woman who will add value to your life first, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and finamcially by helping u save.
That one no mean say u go be aradite o. No woman wants to marry a stingy man or one who can't maintain her standard or improve it. |
